Part Two.
I got to our designated meeting place on time, and Ex was already there. He rushed to help me take off my coat and instantly offered to buy me a drink. My eyes probably went a bit wide, and I'm guessing I went into emotional pull-back mode. This did not feel like a friendly hang-out. But I remembered what Good Friend had told me. That women can think he's interested in them when he's just being his "usual, charming self." But he kept complimenting me. Little things, but I don't know--I just got the sense that he was thinking this might be a date, or perhaps lead to one in the future.

I honestly can't quite remember what I was thinking at the time. Mostly, what was going through my head was, "Don't think of this guy as a dude. Think of him as Good Friend's Ex." I probably seemed somewhat uncomfortable. But then, I was. So I figured we'd go to a spot that's one of my "regulars" where I knew people, and where I felt sure we'd have an easier time just "hanging out."

That's when I had too much to drink. I hadn't planned on it, but I realize now I probably hadn't eaten enough beforehand. Then Ex kept ordering another round when I would have been ready to stop drinking. As will happen with the booziness, I loosened up. Ex sensed this, I'm sure. He asked me about our "date that's maybe not a date but maybe is a date." I hung my head, avoided looking him in the eye, and told him it wasn't a date, just hanging out. It couldn't be a date, because he was my Good Friend's Ex.

Ex protested that he and Good Friend had been "just friends" for a very long time. But I still hedged, and he relented. "Ok, we can just hang out," he said. "Are you having a good time?" I said that I was. "That's all that counts," he said.

But the hours kept on passing. Yes, hours. The date-not-date would last six and a half hours in total. At some point, he started telling me that I was "sexy." And meanwhile, I had learned that the guy is just a sweetheart. Kind, smart, passionate about what he does. If we had been on a date, it would have been a pretty fun date.

But when, at the bar, he kissed me, I pulled back. My head was fuzzy enough that I wanted to kiss him back, but not so fuzzy that I was ready to jeopardize a friendship over it.

He walked me home. And he kissed me again. And for a minute, I kissed back.

Then I pulled away, shoved the key in my lock, and yelled "Bad!" at him. I quickly forced the door shut behind me.

Minutes later, Ex texted me a very sweet goodnight, and said he looked forward to seeing me again.

I didn't text back.

Stay tuned for Part 3, in which I tell Good Friend everything the next day!

--Cute Jewess

Oh, I've got a story for you! The kind you'll like, I think, and I have a feeling you'll all have opinions on it that you'll want to share. And, as usual, I'll ignore or bite back at the bitchy comments... ;-) But it's long, so we'll do it in 2 parts.

Sometime not long ago, Good Friend Whose Identity I Will Not Reveal had a lovely get-together for some of her closest friends. What a fun night! With food, much wine, and excellent company. At this party was Good Friend's Boyfriend. Also present was an ex of hers, who has continued to be a friend these past 10 years since they ended things. But whom I still knew as "her ex."

At some point, Good Friend's Ex and I started chatting. We found we had similar tastes and hobbies in common, and when I told him I was shy, he wouldn't believe me. "You're so dynamic," he said. By the end of our conversation, he had told me in a roundabout way that he thought I was cute, and in a very direct way (more than once) that he thought I was cool. I left the party thinking--hang on a sec. Good Friend's Ex was totally just flirting with me. Weird. But before I realized that, I had agreed to get in touch with Ex to hang out--since we enjoy certain of the same activities. I wouldn't have thought of it as a date at all--and in fact, I was already planning to invite others along--as I'd told Ex I would.

Now, I know you will feel me on this. How horrible--painful, sticky, downright torturous--can it be when a dude gets in between a close friendship? Having that happen was the farthest thing from my mind. I emailed Good Friend the next day: I got the sense that [Ex] might have been digging me a bit. That felt kinda weird--he's your ex-boyfriend. [I said I'd invite him to hang out.] But would that be considered a "date" thing? I'd be asking as a "friend" thing.

You might be thinking--did I think Ex was cute? Yeah, I did, but honestly (I swear!) the idea of him being any kind of option romantically was so far from my mind that I didn't even wonder if I would be interested in him. So I felt toward him pretty neutral--he was Dude Switzerland.

Good Friend emailed back that Ex had been her friend way longer than he was her boyfriend, that she didn't imagine them getting back together, and that she didn't "think" she'd have a problem with us dating. STILL. Not "thinking" it'll be a problem isn't good enough when you love your friend. And STILL I just wasn't thinking about him that way, because of their history.

Some days later, I figured I'd get in touch with Ex to hang out, so Good Friend and I emailed about him again. She said, and I'll paraphrase, that Ex tends to seem flirty when he's just being friendly. He's naturally charming. He has lots of female friends. I got the sense she was telling me that perhaps I misinterpreted his intentions. That he wouldn't think it was a "date" if I asked him to hang out. So I made plans with Ex. I invited Good Friend, but she couldn't come. I invited another friend, but she couldn't come. So it would just be us two. Hanging out. As friends.

When I got back from my hanging out with Ex, I emailed Good Friend straight away: "yeahhhhhh, that was completely not meant to be platonic tonight. i am completely confused and at sea and just want to do what's best for you."

Stay tuned for Part 2!!
--Cute Jewess

I should dread my dates more often. Saturday night's meeting with Bad Phone earned him the nickname Not Bad. If anything, he just seems rather lonely, and eager to find that special someone. But he seems sweet, funny, and decent--which are pretty much my criteria for a second date. Are there sparks flying all over the place? No. But he seemed interested and asked if he could call me. I said yes. So we'll see about that!

As to my Friday night revelry with Sporty? Ha. I saw this dude who looked just like this Jdate profile picture. But, then, that happens. And you look twice, and you're like--nah, not him. This guy was definitely him. My back was turned to him most of the night, but Sporty said he kept on staring. She kept saying I should go talk to him. I think I emailed him not too long ago, and he never responded. Eh, if he's interested, he can email me. I wasn't that into him.

Our local hangout was filled to the gills with cute boys, none of whom came to talk to us. I wasn't feeling particularly outgoing that night, and neither was she. So we stuck mostly to ourselves. But we spit-handshake-vowed to be more flirty next time. I'll say, my local has some attractive guys in it on Friday and Saturday nights.

Okay, off to get crap done on this rather nice-weather Sunday afternoon!
--Cute Jewess

I'll admit, I'm kinda dreading my date with Bad Phone. What should I do if I want to get out of the date quickly? Jdate advises me to shrink in size, grow old, and talk in a German accent.

Okay, not really. But I got a kick out of this email they sent me. Oh, Dr. Ruth, what sage advice do you have for a cute little NYC singleton?

Never fear. If my date's a total bust, I anticipate a fun, boozy night this weekend with Sporty. She's a firecracker, that one.
--Cute Jewess

Next year I'm vowing to get that cute as anything Halloween costume I coveted for this year. I've got the web page with it bookmarked, and when it's back in stock (they sold out!) I'm going to indulge.

This year I wound up downtown with Best Friend, and we spoke to several guys, none of whom were particularly exciting in the end. But we looked adorable (her boobies were very perky) and I enjoyed the venue. There's other stuff I could tell you, but I haven't finished processing it yet in my own head, and I think I will need to test the waters more before I report back. Perhaps this weekend, when Sporty and I will next be out on the town, I'll be able to give a meatier synopsis. It's possible...well...it's possible I might work on looking a bit more sexy. I might do up the eyes a bit more. Might check the wardrobe to see if I have something more alluring than my usual "cute" outfits. Nothing too overt. But mixing it up.

Also in the works for this weekend? Oy. I think I messed up again on the Jdate front. I made plans with a dude before talking to him on the phone. (I know, I know.) He seemed decent on email--we did the funny banter. Yeahhhhh then we spoke on the phone. I think he's a bit of a downer. Already I don't think we're a match, but ya know what? I'll keep the dating wheels greased and keep up the practice. I'll know not to expect much, which--I mean--I knew already. But now I really know. I received two calls this week, too, from Jdate dudes I gave my number to a couple weeks ago. Thank God I didn't pick up either of the calls because I had no idea who they were. A quick check of the email archives led to a couple "Oh, that guy" moments. I think I'll call one of them back, but honestly, they're both pretty eh.

I have a feeling I'll be taking a break from the Jdate when my membership expires. At least a couple weeks, maybe more. Gotta wait for some new profiles to pop up that aren't...dregs.

(And no, I'm not feeling particularly pessimistic about it right now, Debbie Downers of the world.)
--Cute Jewess

In the spirit of "Why not?" I emailed Halloween Boy. Will he respond?
Sporty backed out of the fun Halloween plans we had for tonight, but now it looks like Best Friend might be going out. Will I join her for Spooky Fun?

Stay tuned, ghouls and goblins. Mwah-ha-ha-hah.

Saturday! I'm late with my report, sorry. I'm fighting a cold hard core before it fully blossoms. Take that, early germs!

Getting ready, I was overall pleased with my Halloween costume. What surprised me most was the makeup--it actually looked good! I don't know that I could go that dramatic on a regular basis, but I think I might try to do more with my eyes in the future. Best Friend especially liked the eye makeup. Both LV and BF liked the red, red lips, but I don't know if I'm a red, red lip kinda gal.

The party with Host-I-Barely-Know was different than I expected it to be. For one, the apartment was smaller, so the crowd was naturally rather intimate. Also, more people had dressed up than I imagined--and there were full on trampy outfits too--so I felt comfortable in my costume. Loverville--man, she is good at meeting people. She could give lessons and make a fortune!

And there was this guy...and oh, how I liked him! He was cute, successful, and we had a lot in common. Also, I've gotten good at the casual touch on the arm or such while talking to a cute dude. And mmmmm, his arm felt good. Homeslice worked out. We talked for a good portion of the night, and then we would have parted ways with no phone numbers exchanged if not for some clever finagling from Loverville. But I got the sense that he wasn't interested in me, which is a shame. He didn't ask for my number, after all. And he seemed to want to dance with and talk to this Asian chick--who wasn't even that cute. If there's ever a group gathering or such, I might invite him, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Pout pout.

After getting nice and boozy at the party, Loverville and I met up with Best Friend at an underground, semi-secret lounge where she goes often, but I had never been. It was cuter than I thought it would be. Later, BF and I hit one more location. I found it rather easy, in fact, to talk to dudes. I met a couple nice (and interested) ones at the bar, and I was outgoing and charming. If I had wanted to get their numbers, I'm sure I could have, but eh, I wasn't feeling it so much. Also, um, there was this creeeeeeeepy older dude who would not stop staring at me. For. Real. It was disconcerting. At one point he said to me "That's a beautiful costume," and I just smiled, said thank you--without looking him in the eye--and then basically ran away. Still, the dude wouldn't stop staring. Yeah, that was appropriately Halloween creepy.

So, to recap: Costume was cute, makeup worked, met a dude I liked--duuuuude, why don't you like me?--who probably didn't like me back.

The end! For now ;-)

--Cute Jewess

Ok people, bear with me. Cuz I'm nervous. Why am I nervous? For no good rational reason. But hey, let's talk about it.

1) I'm going to a party of someone I don't know very well. Not as the friend of someone who knows the person, but as the one who (barely) knows the person. So I'm nervous that everyone else will know the host well. That I'll be the only one in a somewhat "sexy-ish" costume, and so everyone will think I'm "that girl." That I just won't mesh well with the crowd.

2) I'm scared of my makeup. Meaning, I will be wearing a lot. Which I don't usually do. But it goes with the costume, and I did a "makeup test" before showering to make sure it all looked okay. I guess it does. But will it be pretty? Will it make me look weird?

3) I've been really looking forward to Halloween. Usually the more I look forward to something, the more disappointed I am when it doesn't meet expectations.

On the other hand! I'll be hanging out with LV and (later on) Best Friend, whom I both love. And some of Best Friend's friends. And maybe even HM (remember him?). Aaannnnddd I'll be able to booze it up for free at the don't-know-the-host's party, which is a big plus. Halloween be one expensive holiday.

When I tell The Shrink about my anxiety at parties where I don't know people well, he says "You can always leave." This is true. Trust me, I know there's nothing to be anxious about. And almost 100% of the time people can't tell I'm anxious.

I guess I just want everything to turn out great. And yes, meeting a guy to flirt with would be a big plus. And I want to feel cute.

--Cute Jewess

After a night of not sleeping well, I'm feeling a tad cranky. BUT I'm excited for Halloween, and I've got my costume all picked out. I did not get the outfit-in-the-window I loved so much, but I found an old dress in my closet that--with some choice accessories--will do just fine. Nope, not gonna tell you what I'm going as for Halloween. I'll be attending at least 2 parties--maybe more! In the past, I've met dudes on Halloween--quality dudes--so I will hope to get my flirt on.

About the costume: It is short. Very short. Mostly "cute," but the shortness throws in a bit of "sexy." I talked about this with BF and LV--I'm not usually comfortable looking overtly sexy. The dress on its own? Would be marginally within my comfort zone. But to make it a bit hotter, I got lacy thigh high stockings. THESE are hot. Consultation with LV and BF resulted in both telling me that the outfit is still tame by NYC Halloween standards, and so I'm going with it.

I will look hot, dammit. And I will drink enough to be comfortable with that.



--Cute (Hot?) Jewess

An experiment in graphics:
I installed a new graphics toolbar--can you see the glitter and animation, or is it just a solid regular ole object? Or...nothing at all? Gotta keep things spicy, you know--and my love life certainly ain't doin' it. Holla.

I've got emails from 3 new dudes in my Jdate inbox whom I had planned to write back to. I just reread their profiles, though, and I'm not feeling jazzed. But I told myself--if I write back, I'm not automatically going to meet them. So at some point I'll write back, see how the conversation goes, maybe move to phone, and then--if the phone conversation's good--then we'll meet.

Divorced never called like he said he was going to. Part of me thinks I should send an email to check in, and another part of me remembers that in his last email to me there were signs of douchiness. That's why I haven't bothered so far.

Halloween's coming up. Can I afford the super cool costume I saw in the window down the block? Probably not, but I'm going to check in on it anyway. I like to be cute and flirty on Halloween, I won't lie--but I draw the line at trampiness. Boobs will not be hanging out. Midriff will not be displayed. Upper thigh will be covered. No bunny ears.

Happy Tuesday, folks!
--Cute Jewess

After two phone conversations with AI, I knew he seemed much closer to dorky-dorky than cute-dorky. But I figured if I were physically attracted to him, that could be endearing. Yeahhhh, he's not so cute.

The thing was, we had planned to go to 2 places on our date. Note to self! Plan one place, then see how the date goes before agreeing to a Part 2. Because Part 1 would have been fine. Just have a good drink with some decent conversation, say thank you, and leave.

When Part 2 of the date happened, I realized something I hadn't been able to figure out during Part 1. (Non)Adorable (Not so much)Intellectual is a spitter. Yes, of the "Say it don't spray it" variety. This was not so fun. I had to force myself not to visibly cringe every time the dude opened his spitty mouth. If the place had been less crowded, I would have figured out a way to move my chair further away. Alas, 'twas not to be.

I need to become better at getting out of dates. He wasn't a bad guy, so I didn't want to be rude. And so our date lasted over 3 hours. Oy.

If AI were less clueless, he'd realize my body language was not inviting. He'd realize that when I didn't let him walk me home, it was a sign that I don't want to see him again. I fear he is indeed quite clueless. But if he doesn't call, then hey--I don't have to "let him down easy." So wish me luck that he actually gets it!

--Cute Jewess

Hmmm. Well, the more I talk to Adorable Intellectual, the more he seems to lean toward dorky dorky rather than cute dorky. BUT. Dude calls when he says he's going to, and that's a big plus for me. Please be attractive, AI! I could use a boost in the Dude Department. On the plus side, I had 2 emails waiting for me in my Jdate inbox this morning from promising profiles.

Yesterday I bought myself a special treat--one I've been wanting for ages. Excitement! And I still had cream puffs--surprisingly, the vanilla was much tastier than the chocolate. Usually I like both the same. When it comes to sweets, I generally do not discriminate.

Meeting AI tonight! He chose a bar I like, so that was a good sign. Now just add a little more charm, AI, and be as cute as your picture. What, that's too much to ask? ;-)

--Cute Jewess

Pouty pout.
So far, the weekend has been kinda a dud. Last night, I enjoyed hanging out with Sporty, but her neighborhood--where I'd never been before--was totally dead. Sooo...let's just say I'm not rushing to go back there. It's a hike, anyway!

Today I had been looking forward to traipsing around downtown with RH, shopping and eating cream puffs, but that's not gonna happen. I guess I'll head down on my own, since I've got errands to do.

Adorable Intellectual is supposed to call today...I hope he does! I have a feeling he might not be so cute in person--not sure why, just a hunch. But hey, maybe that means I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Let's hope the 2nd part of the weekend gets better!
--Cute Jewess

Really, Retro Cool? You're still trying to hit this?

RC texted me asking to hang out again--despite the fact that I offered him my cheek when he leaned in to kiss me at the end of our date. I'm so not feeling him. We will not be making further plans, but RC hangs out at my local--so if we run into each other? So be it. Doesn't mean we're dating. Or that he's getting any closer to a goodnight kiss :-)

Tonight, Sporty will be on a boy rampage, which should be a kick to watch. She goes after them hard! We'll see if her boldness rubs off at all.

Then tomorrow, RH and I plan to traipse around SoHo, which promises to be fun. I've got to pick up a couple things from Sephora. New makeup! Wheee.

Tomorrow night I'll be chilling with a new group of ladies, so we'll see if I make some new friends. And then Sunday night, I'll be meeting Adorable Intellectual. If nothing else, I don't think it will be a horror date, which is really all I can ask for at this point.

Have great weekends, people!
--Cute Jewess

Last night was so fun! First, Sporty and I met up at my local bar--I'm off to her neck of the woods on Friday--and then RH joined us later at another place she and I go to all the time. I've been having a lot of fun hanging with my girlfriends lately. Loverville and I spent a great Saturday night together, and I've seen Best Friend a couple times recently, and I hope to more.

An interesting tidbit from RH last night! She and I were walking home, and she told me she thought Wild Boy (our fave bartender) had a crush on me. Now, I don't personally think so--if Wild Boy has a type? I certainly can't imagine it's dorky Cute Jewess--but it was nice to hear that she thinks he has a soft spot for me, in whatever capacity it might be. It's nice to feel wanted at your fave local establishments! AND for the record, RH is beloved there too.

My Jdate story of the day yesterday? A guy contacted me, and I wrote back. He was cute, seemed like a decent (normal!) guy, so why not? He told me he thought my pictures were hot. I wrote back "What about my wit, charm, and smarts?" He clearly did not care to discuss my wit, charm, or smarts. Rather, he asked for "naughty pictures" of my "t*ts, hips and ass."

Rather than just not respond and risk hearing from Douchey Doucherton again, I sent back an "Um, no. Bye!" Douche.

I'm hoping to get to the gym tonight, then tomorrow's hanging in Sporty's neighborhood, where I haven't spent much time in the past.

Happy Thursday!
--Cute Jewess

And, in fact, AI called. He does seem shy, but in an endearing way. He's not slick, but he has that dorky charm I kind of like. So far, he seems like a decent guy. AND I get the sense he feels him some Cute Jewess. But mostly, I like that he seems like a good person. I say "seems" of course, because at this point who knows? But the initial impression is good.

We've got a date set up for next week. Will we mesh in person or not? I can't say, but I'm looking forward to it.

Must dash!
--Cute Jewess

Adorable Intellectual has not yet vanished, as I feared he might. In fact, he's sending over longer, funnier, and more thoughtful emails, which makes me think his delay in response might have something to do with writing a quality note rather than shooting something off quick.

He's got my digits now, and I think he'll use them. He's a cutie pie.

Divorced has not yet called, but I wasn't feeling him so much. And I've gotten a couple new worthwhile emails since I made myself more available on Jdate--one from a promising fellow who might earn a nickname soon. Ha. I just wrote "promising fellow." Hi, I'm 80 years old.

In general, my mood is improving, which is a relief. Peaks and valleys...peaks and valleys...

--Cute Jewess

Oh for goodness sake. Now I'm having bad luck with Real Live Guys too! Well, sort of.

Last night, Sporty (my girl friend, Sexist Commenter Who Assumed It Had To Be A Guy) and I went out for drinks. Now, Sporty is outgoing when it comes to guys. She's cut to the chase, kiss the guy in a bar, if he's not interested move on to the next. As you know, I am more shy. But around Sporty, with some cocktails in me, I can get a bit bolder.

So last night I spoke to a few guys. 1) Galoomf: I did not find him attractive; he approached me, we chatted for a bit, then he left. I found out that Sporty thought he was cute. I worked some magic to get them speaking--she kissed him. 2) Straight Laced: I initiated conversation, we chatted for a bit, and then a girl came to join him--she was wearing an engagement ring. 3) Retro Cool: Sporty started chatting with Retro Cool's friend, so he chatted with me. I could tell he was interested, and I was willing to give him a shot. After talking more, I found him to be smart, funny, and decent. I didn't think he was the most attractive guy I've ever seen, but he was cute enough to get to know better. Retro Cool walked me home and leaned in for a kiss. I gave him my usual (if rare) Cute Jewess kiss-for-someone-I-just-met: nothing too deep, but enough to show interest.

Retro Cool asked me to lunch the next day. We had lunch, and it was okay. The conversation was good enough, if not filled with instant spark. Again, he seemed cute enough and decent enough to get to know. I'd have gone out with him again. EXCEPT.

Dude works at a major financial institution. And he asked to split the bill.

I'm sorry, but if a guy asks me to split the bill on the first date, it almost always means I will not go out with him again. It just says "cheap" and "ungenerous." Those aren't qualities you look for in a guy. Especially if he works for one of the richest companies in the world! If you treat a girl to a first date, it doesn't mean you'll be treating her for the rest of your dating life together. It just means you're considerate. You're showing her you're a classy guy. Trust me, the bill wasn't even close to large.

So, buh-bye Retro Cool. He leaned in to kiss me goodbye, and I gave him my cheek. He leaned in again, and I kissed him more chastely than when we first met. Will that be enough of a signal that he shouldn't call me? We'll see.

Meanwhile, Adorable Intellectual isn't writing me back. I don't know why--we've had such nice email banter. But he's logged in several times to Jdate now over the past couple days with no word.

That sucks--I wanted to meet that guy.

--Cute Jewess

This post may be ethically questionable, but I'm bored, and I can always take it down. So...eh.

Every once in a while, when I'm browsing Jdate profiles, I'll think: "Wow. And you chose that picture why?"

So, now, I share. "Look at Me in Bed Guy," "I'm Funny Like A Clown--No Really, A CLOWN Guy," and "Wind Tunnel Hair Guy":