Oh for goodness sake. Now I'm having bad luck with Real Live Guys too! Well, sort of.

Last night, Sporty (my girl friend, Sexist Commenter Who Assumed It Had To Be A Guy) and I went out for drinks. Now, Sporty is outgoing when it comes to guys. She's cut to the chase, kiss the guy in a bar, if he's not interested move on to the next. As you know, I am more shy. But around Sporty, with some cocktails in me, I can get a bit bolder.

So last night I spoke to a few guys. 1) Galoomf: I did not find him attractive; he approached me, we chatted for a bit, then he left. I found out that Sporty thought he was cute. I worked some magic to get them speaking--she kissed him. 2) Straight Laced: I initiated conversation, we chatted for a bit, and then a girl came to join him--she was wearing an engagement ring. 3) Retro Cool: Sporty started chatting with Retro Cool's friend, so he chatted with me. I could tell he was interested, and I was willing to give him a shot. After talking more, I found him to be smart, funny, and decent. I didn't think he was the most attractive guy I've ever seen, but he was cute enough to get to know better. Retro Cool walked me home and leaned in for a kiss. I gave him my usual (if rare) Cute Jewess kiss-for-someone-I-just-met: nothing too deep, but enough to show interest.

Retro Cool asked me to lunch the next day. We had lunch, and it was okay. The conversation was good enough, if not filled with instant spark. Again, he seemed cute enough and decent enough to get to know. I'd have gone out with him again. EXCEPT.

Dude works at a major financial institution. And he asked to split the bill.

I'm sorry, but if a guy asks me to split the bill on the first date, it almost always means I will not go out with him again. It just says "cheap" and "ungenerous." Those aren't qualities you look for in a guy. Especially if he works for one of the richest companies in the world! If you treat a girl to a first date, it doesn't mean you'll be treating her for the rest of your dating life together. It just means you're considerate. You're showing her you're a classy guy. Trust me, the bill wasn't even close to large.

So, buh-bye Retro Cool. He leaned in to kiss me goodbye, and I gave him my cheek. He leaned in again, and I kissed him more chastely than when we first met. Will that be enough of a signal that he shouldn't call me? We'll see.

Meanwhile, Adorable Intellectual isn't writing me back. I don't know why--we've had such nice email banter. But he's logged in several times to Jdate now over the past couple days with no word.

That sucks--I wanted to meet that guy.

--Cute Jewess

This post may be ethically questionable, but I'm bored, and I can always take it down. So...eh.

Every once in a while, when I'm browsing Jdate profiles, I'll think: "Wow. And you chose that picture why?"

So, now, I share. "Look at Me in Bed Guy," "I'm Funny Like A Clown--No Really, A CLOWN Guy," and "Wind Tunnel Hair Guy":

I can not yet say my luck is turning. Not yet.

But I can tell you about the guy I briefly mentioned yesterday. I'll call him Adorable Intellectual. It's rare that a guy contacts me on Jdate that I like. This is partly my fault--I often choose the membership options that keep certain things hidden, like when I'm online, or when I view someone else's profile. So I'm not that easy to find. And yes, lately I've been changing this to be more findable.

So AI emails me, and I click on his profile. He's got a slightly dorky smile, nice dark hair. He looks like a good guy, and I think he's cute. I check the height--tall. He's successful, too, and seems to be looking for an intelligent woman. All pluses. AI is someone I would have emailed in a heartbeat--and I would say the best guy who's initiated contact with me on Jdate so far. So we start emailing, and I start waiting for him to disappear.

But so far...he's not disappearing. He writes long, funny, smart emails, and I return in kind. I imagine we'll speak on the phone quite soon. So let's hold out hope for Adorable Intellectual.

There's another guy on the Jdate radar, too. He'd be the first divorced guy I've ever gone on a date with (that I know of), so I'll call him Divorced (see how clever I am?). I've enjoyed corresponding with him, but we don't have the same email connection I feel with AI. Still, I think we'll probably meet, and at the very least talk on the phone.

Ah, and a third guy, but he seems interested only in sex. I dunno if that's something I'm interested in. He wants to talk...we'll see.

--Cute Jewess

If Luck Be a Lady Tonight, then that lady is bitch-slapping me upside the head. Man, I just have no luck these days with the menfolk.

The guys I'm writing on Jdate are mostly not writing me back. But there was this one guy--I'll call him No Match--oh, I loved his profile! He was good-looking, seemed sincere and kind, and was in a profession I find fascinating. I emailed him, and I was so pleased to see that he wrote me back, asking to talk on the phone.

Ouch. What a tough conversation. Dude had no sense of humor, and we have absolutely nothing in common. We both agreed we were not meant for each other.

See? The one guy who writes back? No luck.

On the upside, the other day I got an email from an adorable guy. I clicked on his profile. Something had to be wrong with him, the way my track record is shaping up. But no--it's a profile I would have contacted myself. He seems pretty great. We've started a conversation, but odds are it'll go nowhere. Remember--I'm being bitch-slapped by Lady Luck.

Another cutie contacted me today, but he doesn't seem to be looking for anything serious. Will I write back? Sure, why not. No harm in an email. Another email I got today was from an illiterate older man calling me "Sweetie," professing that I was his angel. Yeah, that one I'm gonna just let go...

--Cute Jewess

Oy! Sometimes things don't seem fair. I don't have much time to write this, so I hope I do the story justice.

Last night I went out with Sporty, and I met the greatest guy. Oh, how I liked him! We started talking because, well, I was drunk. And thus bold. I had had 4 drinks, 2 of which were the strongest mojitos I think I've ever had. So Unfair Guy tells me his name, and it's such a "nice jewish boy" name, so I tell him so. Turns out he's Jewish. Around my age. Cute as anything. Even writing this makes me feel so disappointed...because this never happens to me! To flirt with the perfect guy! At a bar!

I said to him: If we're flirting like this, you better not have a girlfriend. He said: "I do. She's at home, sleeping."

He went on: "I love my girlfriend, but this is bad timing. Because you're cool, smart, and cute. I know how to find you, so remember my name. I might turn up in 3 months."

What a bummer is all I can say right now.

Except...I kinda screwed it up after that. Not that anything was going to happen anyway, but I have this tendency--especially when I'm drinking--to tease a guy. I don't know why I do it! Sometimes it comes off as flirty and coy, but sometimes it just seems obnoxious. And the thing is, I'm not bitchy at all! But it totally makes me seem bitchy. So at some point, I think he got offended and left. I have to remember to stop doing that!! Oh, the drink.

And oh, Unfair Guy. I liked you so.
-Cute Jewess

Today it looks like the family thing is not as bad as it initially seemed, so that's a relief, and I hope it's not a temporary one. Thanks for all your kind wishes. I hope things continue to improve. Fingers crossed!!!

Oy. The FAF sent me an email trying to cheer me up today. For the first time in ages, I wish he were around because I know it would be a comfort. I guess I just wish things were easier.

And I know I don't get to just wish that and--poof!--it happens. And I know that many, many millions of people are going through much more sh*t than I am. But still. I wish things were easier. And I'm allowed to wish it.

But I also believe things will get better soon.

--Cute Jewess

Lordy.
There were fun moments this weekend--like a long, boozy, dance-filled night with RH and some friends. RH and I haven't gotten to see each other much lately, and we had a blast.

But then yesterday...oy. Yesterday I got hit by two more blows, the worse of which is a family crisis. I'm having trouble dealing with the family thing, but I'm off to see Shrink tomorrow, so maybe that will help. I'm not going to write about any of that stuff here, though.

Loverville had invited me to a shindig for that day, which wound up having some lovely moments. But my mood was just too dark. My stomach tied itself in knots, and I was sure I was about to throw up at some point, and so I knew I had to leave.

I doubled over on my bed when I got home--my stomach was just a mess. And some tears were shed. The cat jumped up and started purring. He rubbed me with his little head. They just know.

Really, the family thing is at the forefront right now, and I'm dreading dealing with it. So...bear with me. I promise that I want my stories to become fun again more than you do.

Update: Ack! And on top of everything, I am having the worst cramps today. Will curl up in bed for the evening now.

--Cute Jewess

I just logged onto Jdate for the first time in 3 days, got hugely bored, and came here instead.

There is drama in my life right now. Unnecessary drama being perpetrated by a friend whom I now know is my "frenemy." It seems like she's been harboring jealous resentment against me for months, and now decided to let it out in the most passive aggressive way--a group email--amongst all our mutual friends. Nice, huh?

Many of our mutual friends are now pissed at her for creating problems out of thin air and ruining a project we were all working on together. But it's been a big bummer, basically, to my already bummed out mood. This was someone I liked. Yes, she's moody and bitter. But she seemed to have a good heart and good intentions. Now I'm not so sure. Because she refuses to talk to me, I don't know if we'll resolve our issues. I'm thinking I don't even want to. The story is so long, and will involve many details I can't divulge (no matter what questions you may ask). But I'll try.

Background: Frenemy and I work in similar fields. She has had more of a struggle, while I have had more success. But I've given her lots of advice (only when she sought it out from me), that I know she's genuinely appreciated, and I've never been anything but super supportive. Here's the thing. She's also...oy. I hate to say this. But she's not a conventionally attractive woman. She's obese. She's got a stern expression. Several chins. Paired with what at times can be a surly, bitter personality. She's good at alienating people. Knowing this, I have always given her extra rope.

For instance, I first knew something was wrong between us a few months ago, when Frenemy, Sporty, Cheery Girl and I were having a fun dinner outing. Frenemy started to basically tell me she thought her work was more important/serious/valuable than mine, and that I've only had certain aspects of my success because this one guy thinks I'm cute. I can't tell you how condescending she sounded. Later, I would ask Sporty: Did I hear what I think I heard? Sporty was like: Um, yeah. But we decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. We agreed that her intentions couldn't have been bad. I let it slide.

Now, of late, Frenemy has twisted every single word out of my mouth as a personal attack. If I offered suggestions on the group project we were working on? She said I was trying to dictate everything. If I tried to make her feel better when she was down? I was lecturing. I only found all this out in a huge group email she sent to everyone about how I verbally attacked her. If you're wondering how my words can be so completely twisted and misunderstood, trust me, you're not alone. We're all wondering that.

The group started emailing each other (they would later tell me): What had they missed?

The answer was nothing. She was creating drama literally out of absolutely nothing. It is so frustrating to have someone put words into your mouth. AND, AND this was right after I'd seen Frenemy one-on-one for about an hour. She didn't say a word to me about being angry or upset. If she had? I would have been shocked, and I would have tried to figure how she could possibly misinterpret so much. Instead, she went home after hugging me good-bye, and wrote the email attacking me.

Our mutual friends all responded: WTF?
Sporty and Cheery Girl met with me that night and basically went to town on how unbearable Frenemy has been. How controlling she is. How they have to walk on eggshells around her. I told them: I would rather talk to Frenemy about this than discuss it behind her back. But she refuses.

Sporty looked me in the eye. "Don't you know you two are rivals?"

Me: "What? What would I have to be rivals with her about?"

Sporty: "You have what she wants."

In general, I'm getting better at not thinking everything is my fault. But with that comes a new level of anger in my life where there used to be guilt. Because I'm not stewing in anguish thinking "What could I have done to Frenemy?" instead I'm angry at her for going around thinking she's better than me, for picking fights, for ruining our fun group project.

The irony is that she's just so narcissistic. So while part of me would like to feel sorry for her, I can't. She thinks she's the best at everything and that the world just doesn't see it. I told Sporty, "But have you seen her work? Some of it's...just kind of blah." Sporty responded "If her work was as good as she thinks it is, she wouldn't need this attitude about it."

I've probably written too much here. I'm terrified someone in the group will find it. I've been too honest and open with my feelings. But when you can't talk to the person who's responsible for them? Well, I needed another outlet. So I'm taking my chances.

--Cute Jewess

For some unknown reason, I expected to find an excuse from Hottie1 in my inbox this morning. Nope, nothing. DOUCHE.

Last night, I popped out to Au Bon Pain to buy cookies. Because I decided not to go to the gym. And I love cookies. The winner? Hazelnut Dream. Go out and buy yourself an Au Bon Pain Hazelnut Dream cookie and thank me later. Unless, of course, you're fasting--in which case, oops, sorry.

If I can get in another post before Yom Kippur settles in, then I'll share with you my precious America's Next Top Model thoughts. If not, then I'm off tonight to Kol Nidre services, which will be my one appearance at temple these High Holy Days.

--Cute Jewess

Last night, I received no word from Jackpot, even thought I texted to ask if we were still on for drinks that night. So he goes from asking me for a drink, to professing his excitement over said drink, to vanishing. Whatever, dude. You're now blacklisted.

No surprise, Hottie1 also has yet to confirm our date tonight, which will probably just not happen. If he doesn't get in touch, I will not contact him again.

As Loverville said, I knew these guys were flakey, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt. And then they just went and acted like themselves.

Here's what bugs me, though (okay, it all bugs me). I'm back to being shy in person around guys. It feels like I'm sabotaging myself. Last night, I went out with my girlfriend Sporto to my local bar. I got there before her, and had to wait a good 10 minutes or so on my own. The bartender, whom I know, said "I got two seats for ya right here, love," and I sat down smack down next to a cute guy. A cute guy on his own, who seemed to be doing some work. He was scribbling intently on paper. He was a lefty, which I find sexy.

So there we were, shoulder to shoulder. Cute Scribbler and me. I could have talked to him so easily. "Whatcha writing?" But I didn't. Furthermore, and Best Friend knows this for sure about me, my shyness comes off as aloofness. I give off a vibe that I don't want to be talked to. Because I feel nervous. So I looked the other way from the Scribbler, he went on working, and half an hour later, he talked to a pretty girl halfway down the bar from me.

I wish I could be more outgoing in those situations. Alcohol helps. But from now on I'm going to try to force myself to interact rather than isolate myself. And I looked cute last night too! The outfit I was wearing made me look particularly small waisted and busty. I must remember to wear it all the time.

Like, say, if I ever have a date again.

--Cute Jewess

P.S. I am psyched about America's Next Top Model on TiVo!! I might have to do an entry on the premiere. That show is craziness.

I'm in a funk. Should I write about all the things I'm in a funk about?

1) Drinks with Brill last night was depressing. Not seeing Brill--I love Brill--but basically everything else. First of all, I had no exciting news to share. No big developments over the past couple months to fill her in on. "I'm the same" somehow doesn't have quite a jolly ring to it.

Then there's her current predicament. She and her well-off fiance can't find an apartment they can afford in the city. They're looking for a 2-bedroom, 1-and-a-half bath. Reasonable, no? You'd think that's the least you need to settle down, start a family. At least, it's the least you'd want. "You have no idea what the prices are," Brill said. "No idea." So instantly, I started thinking how I'll never, ever be able to live in a decent apartment. Maybe even not in Brooklyn. Not the kind of apartment I'd want to live in.

Brill kept going on, until I couldn't bear it any longer. "Let's not talk about this," I said. She started to finish her sentence. "No--don't finish." She kept going. "Brill, if you love me, you won't finish your sentence." She kind of stopped then.

What next? Oh, she asked about the guys in my life, of course. And by the end of the night, she was saying "I'm worried about you."

2) Tonight's supposed to be Jackpot. I highly doubt it will happen. No confirmation yet, and he tends not to do personal correspondence at work. So what am I going to do--get all ready for the date and see if he calls me? Or just ignore the f*cker and sit on my couch all night?

3) Career. I've been working on a long-term project at work. I think it'll be successful, but I really, really can't be sure. In any case, it's going very slowly. And if it doesn't work out? I may have to look for a new career. What the hell would that be? I have no clue.

4) Wedding. One of my closest friends from college is getting married. In an expensive city that isn't this one. Will I be able to afford transportation/hotel along with gift? Not so much. Can I find a way? Dunno. But it's one more thing to worry about, and one more thing to despair that I can't afford. How fun is that?

--Cute Jewess

Countdown to "Will It Happen?":
Tomorrow, I'm supposed to see Jackpot. Thursday, Hottie1. I am now somewhat excited about these two dates. However, I am still not convinced they will actually happen.

Tonight, I am wine barring it with Brill, whom I haven't seen in about two months. I miss Brill, so this will be fun. When I get home, will there be an email from Jackpot confirming our date? I do not know. Honestly, I'm thinking there's a 50/50 possibility here.

Hottie1 is supposed to call me some time before Thursday. Will it be tonight? Tomorrow? Never?

If neither of these dates happen? Well, we're back at April/May all over again.

Oh Jackpot. You are tall and goofy, and I think you're cute. Oh, Hottie1. You have yummy muscles and an intellectual bent--and I hope you're not all big ego-ed about it.

Please oh please let these dates actually happen!
--Cute Jewess

My second date with Lanky was very much like the first--a lovely evening, but with something perhaps missing. Even though I think we both had a pleasant evening, I don't expect him to call, and that's fine. Maybe we were only supposed to have 2 perfectly nice dates.

I'm getting excited for Jackpot and Hottie1 later this week, which of course means at least one of them will cancel.

I'm seeing Brill tomorrow for the first time in months, and I'm totally looking forward. For now, though, I'm mostly just enjoying fall--my favorite season.

Yay fall!
--Cute Jewess

Catching up!
The brief low-down:

• SS: For those who don't remember, I liked him months ago, when we went on a few dates. He was just out of a really dysfunctional long-term relationship. He freaked out. We lost touch.
• Jackpot: I met him at a party months ago. I considered him "so my type." We emailed a bit but never cemented a date down, despite his professed interest.
• Hottie1: Months ago, I emailed a bit with this guy on Jdate--he remains to this day one of the best-looking guys I've corresponded with. I wrote this on the blog: "I'm still a bit scared of Hottie1. He's just so typically good-looking. AND also smart, funny, and--it seems--nice. He's the kind of guy I'd imagine has a line of women trailing after him at all times. I'm going to have to go for the big guns--my own intelligence and sense of humor--to distinguish myself among what must be a very large group of ladies." Hottie1 and I talked on the phone and had a great conversation. He called me again a few days later and left a message. I called him back and left a message. I never heard from him again. I emailed him once afterwards to try and get back in touch, with no response.

Fast forward months and months, and they all converge again.

SS: Lordy is he screwed up. And he seems to associate exclusively with people who are even more screwed up than he is. As Loverville said, "You're so right not to get involved with him!" Not that it was my choice, mind you. But...yeah.

SS and I had a lovely drinks time together. Can't call it a "date" because we're friends now, which is as it should be. He's a great guy at heart--and I enjoy being around him. But whew, issues! Still, to finally have some closure on someone I really liked...that feels good.

Jackpot: Ah, small town New York. I ran into him on the street. We started emailing again, and JP expressed his attraction to me: "You look delicious." We've got a date set for next week. He is a big old flake, though, and so I will only believe it when I see him in front of me, alongside a big old cocktail, thank you very much.

Hottie1: Out of the blue, I figured I'd give it one more try. I sent H1 one of my "confident emails," and he wrote back that he'd love to meet for a drink. I've been talking to Loverville about this a bit. He stokes my insecurities. Best Friend knows more than anyone what I was like as a teenager. I was not cute. I was not popular with the gents. I was smart and hilarious (duh). (And Best Friend, don't even challenge me on the hilarious part. You were there laughing!!) So anyway, the truth is that really good-looking guys intimidate the hell out of me. Luckily for me, Hottie1 seems to value smarts and wit as much as physical appearance--so point in my favor. But I'm going to have to work on feeling as cute as possible to overcome insecurity in the face of a hot guy. We've got a date set for next week. So far, he doesn't seem like he's going to vanish...but with these Jguys, you just never know.

I'm seeing Lanky tonight. I've forgotten about this date about twelve times now. I do like him, though. I'm just not sure how much. So we'll see!

--Cute Jewess

We've got updates on SS, Jackpot, and yet another blast from the past to speak of...

But for now I've got to leave you with a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Eat some apples dipped in honey, whether you're Jewish or not. That stuff's da bomb.

--Cute Jewess

Hi. My name is Slumpy Slumpington.

It feels like I'm in a bit of a dating rut these days, but eh, whatever. I'm not caring too much. BUT indeed, at least one flash from the past will be returning, if not two. You'll have to be a long-time reader of CJTA to remember these gentlemen.

The dude I alluded to a few days back is Sexy Smart. (Best Friend knew him as Sexy Back.) We're going to try being friends. I miss him, truth be told. I think he's a decent person, and I'm willing to see what happens when we just hang out. If it doesn't work for me? Then I won't do it again.

The other blast from el pasto? Jackpot! Remember him? There's a whole convoluted story that I won't go into, but basically I met him at a party a few months ago, hearted him, and took a chance to see if I could keep him from vanishing. But vanish he did, until just a few days ago. We're working on scheduling a date.

Oh, and I have another date set up with Lanky. Which I almost forgot about. So, yeah, he gets one more chance, and if I'm not feeling it, then I'll just let him go.

Okay, so technically I realize this might not sound like a dating slump. But there's no one I feel particularly excited about.

Still, at least there's blog fodder :)

--Cute Jewess

When talking about my dates, usually I avoid too much detail, just in case--however unlikely it may be--the dude in question finds the blog. This time? Let him find it.

Mr. Chill must be renamed: Cheap Ass Tacky Bastard, or any variation thereupon.

The location was fine--lovely scenery, nice hanging-out spot. But Cheap Ass starts the date by saying "I'll buy a round, then you buy a round." Truly? I thought he was joking. We sat with our drinks and had some decent conversation. He complimented my appearance and intelligence, and he was good enough company.

Tacky Bastard was ready for a drink before I was, and he's like, "You want another?" And I'm like, "I'm good for now." So he's like, "Well I'm ready for another, so let's go!" and I'm thinking--Why is he insisting I go with him to the bar? He buys himself a drink, and then he says, "Okay, but if you want another drink, you're paying for it." And I kept thinking he was joking.

But he kept trying to get me to buy him another drink. And in the meantime, he's saying how nice I look, how intelligent I am, etc. And I'm thinking, as you may have surmised, "You cheap ass tacky bastard."

After I realized he wasn't kidding, I was not so inviting. I called him out on it, too. I was like "No guy I've been on a date with in years has ever said: Okay, your turn to buy." And he's like, "That's how I roll! I don't buy drinks for girls. I don't buy drinks for my friends."

I had water for the rest of the date.

The kicker? This guy works in finance, lists himself in the highest echelon of Jdate's income level, and very likely makes at least five times what I do.

Here's the thing, guys. When a woman goes on a date, she invests. First of all, there's time. I guarantee you it takes longer for us to get ready than it does you. Secondly, cosmetics and hair product costs. Salon fees. Clothing and accessories. In general, if you want your lady date to look good--and don't say you don't care--then she is investing time and money into that date.

Which means at least at first, equalize the field by buying the drinks.

Ugh. I'm disgusted by this guy. The Tacky Ass.

--Cute Jewess

Lanky got in touch the day after our date and asked for another. I think he's interesting enough for a second date. Funny enough. Decent enough. So, we'll see! Sometimes it takes me two or three dates to see if I like a guy.

I emailed this to Loverville:

I was just thinking about how the dudes we're lukewarm about usually get in touch. But the ones we actually like tend to be communication douches.

Sigh. Where's the dudes we're really into who don't use e-mail Massingill or Summer's Eve?

She enjoyed that :-)

Tonight is Mr. Chill, which I'm rather looking forward to.

--Cute Jewess

This is not the first time that I've come away from a Jdate feeling ambivalent. Lanky: Nice guy. Interesting life story. Good enough date. Tap kiss at the end--his initiation. He's not unattractive, but there weren't sparks flying everywhere. Still, enjoyable company, decent first date. If he called, I'd go on a second date with him. But I wouldn't be all swoony about it.

The thing is, I'm not sure I was very inviting. He didn't mention a second date, despite the fact that he leaned in for a kiss. Earlier in the evening, he mentioned something about the next time we see each other. And in a round-about way, he let me know he found me attractive--it was actually quite sweet. So if he doesn't call, I'll assume it was because he wasn't feeling much interest from me at the end of the date.

Which leads me to wonder: Would I call him?

I've mentioned before that I'm not a big "What if" person. So it's more of a "How much do I like this guy" question. I mean, he's alright. We had fun.

Maybe it'll be easier for me to sort it out after my date this weekend with Mr. Chill. I sent Mr. Chill's profile to RH, and she's a fan. He's a bit more my speed: Kind of goofy, artistic, playful. At least he seems so. We'll see about this whole "in person" thing.

Annddddd....There may be an appearance soon from someone you've heard of in the past. Is it the smartest thing to do? Maybe not. But I'm willing to give it a try. More details another time!

--Cute Jewess

Ha. So, I remember it being last night, and I remember feeling overjoyed to be on the computer all drunk-like. "Drunk blogging!" I remember thinking. "How fun is that?"

Also, I remember thinking--Oohh! Drunk Jdating! Most fun ever!

Thankfully, when I shamefacedly checked my sent mail folder this morning, all was fine. Yay Cute Jewess for managing to write a witty drunk Jdate email. Which set up a date for this weekend. With a cute, funny, seemingly cool guy. Let's call him Mr. Chill--he seems pretty laid back, so why not.

Tomorrow's a date with Lanky. He's skinnier than dudes I usually date, but he's got a sweet, dorky smile, and he seems like a decent dude.

We'll see!

--Cute Jewess

Oh, people, I ain't gonna lie. RH and I just had a few. I am pretty drunk. Drunk blogging! Holla!

You know what? Boys are stupid. They don't realize how great we are. The minute something seems less than perfect--the minute there seems like there may be (God forbid!) work in a relationship they bail. Um...weak.

Anyhoo.

Friday night? Ha. Loverville and I set out on the town and found boys who were quite enamoured with us. They hearted us. But dude. They were twenty-three. Can't happen.

It flitted across my mind tonight: If I'm not gonna have a relationship with Big Smile, maybe I can just enjoy his giant penis. Because Giant Penis may be rare. And shouldn't one enjoy chemistry when one can? But...well...he doesn't deserve the pleasure. Douche.

So. Where is my nice reform or conservative Jewish boy who is attracitve and deserves me?

Fool's Gold: I know, I know. In another lifetime, perhaps.

Yes, I have a date set up for this week. Maybe two. Ehhhh, whatever. You'll hear if I'm feeling it.

Right now I'm watching a teenager holding a giant iguana on Jay Leno. See how exciting my life is?

And you wondered why you read this blog.

--Cute Jewess

CUTE JEW of the Week

Mark Ronson

Best Friend knows how I heart this piece of British-Jewish a$$. I used to go see him DJ in NYC a few years ago, but now he's a music producer for the likes of Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen. He even has a blog of his own. Two blogging Cute Jews sounds like a match to me, Mark ;-) Those soulful brown eyes and that prep-school-but-wanna-be-bad-boy-cool thing get me every time.

My, how I post less often when there are no boys in my life. Never fear, however. Loverville and I have plans to hit the town tonight. Cute boys: Be there or be...unlucky ;-)

I saw the Shrink this week for the first time in a while. I told him everything that happened with Big Smile, and he agreed that this one's entirely not my fault. BS was the one taking everything to a relationshippy state very early...and then freaking out when he felt it was too relationshippy. "It sounds like he got excited," Shrinky said. "Like he liked you. Like he was asking you to do activities more suitable for a girlfriend. But then he got scared."

Car Guy? Vanished. Just plain vanished. Never called again. Makes it much easier for me, but still. It also makes me question his character.

As to Smooch Boy? He's always in the background. If I wanted, I could call him up and I bet he'd come see me. But eh. I've got some fooling around out of my system, and I'm satisfied (at least for now!) to wait to find someone I really like. As always, there are a couple J-guys in the works, but I don't know yet if any are worth writing about.

--Cute Jewess

Speaking of...


This cracked me the hell up. So reasonable, too! A mere $5 for the joy of letting that special guy know: You are a douche. Hallmark would be proud.


--Cute Jewess

All I feel like saying today is that the tiny low-rise thongs I ordered on sale from Victoriassecret.com just arrived, and they look sick hot on me, and Big Smile? Eat your heart out, because you're missing out and you had back hair anyway.

--Cute Jewess

Saturday night's party was fun, fun, fun! Loverville finally met Best Friend and RH, and there was dancing, mojitos, and great company. Um, what else do you need?

An interesting development: Car Guy has not called or texted since our awkward hook-up last week. This from someone who was texting and calling all the time. I don't think he's a bad guy--just that he picked up on my feelings. When (if!) he gets in touch, I'll confirm what he already probably knows. I'm going to be moving on.

To where or to whom I'm not yet sure.

--Cute Jewess

Yay. I gotta say, when you're feeling down, and a couple of your best girlfriends offer to take you out--well, that's a special thing. Best Friend, RH, and I met at one of my favorite local bars last night for dinner and happy hour. We talked a lot about the douchiness (hmm, new catch word?) of Big Smile, and how he's one of those dudes who thinks he's that rare "good" guy, but in fact, he's not so much.

Those dudes who have a self-image of being nice, good, rare, unique, etc. come on so promising at first. He gave a lot of mixed signals. He asked me on a date that was soooo something you should only do with a girlfriend (my girls will back me up on this), and then right afterwards complained that he "felt like he had a girlfriend." Um, dude. Why didn't you just ask me out for a drink, then? Like a normal date? Honestly, he's going to have a hard time finding someone better than me to hang out with. Maybe that sounds egotistical, but I know his likes, dislikes, and what he values in a girl. They're hard to find--and I fit the bill.

There are two other guys on Jdate I've been corresponding with during the whole Car Guy/Big Smile couple weeks, and I added another Jguy yesterday. But you know what? In the next week I've got tons of plans with friends, and I'm really looking forward to them. Big party this weekend, and 3 events next week that should be really fun.

As for tonight? I'm hoping to get to the gym. You know, to offset that pint of ice cream I treated myself to yesterday after getting slightly heartbroken.

RH and I shared a moment last night, as we were walking home from bar #2 of the evening. She said how happy she was to have me as a friend. Well, the feeling's mutual. Best Friend and RH really picked me up last night, and they rock. I'll be seeing Loverville soon too, and I'm sure we'll have a blast.

--Cute Jewess

I will be fine.
But for now, yes, things are done with BS, and it sucks.

He felt it went too fast, felt like we were headed too soon into "this is my girlfriend" territory. He sort of sounded like an asshole when I asked him to explain himself, which makes it better. I didn't mention to him that another dude was over my place doing naughty things to me last night. How's that for "this is my girlfriend," Big Smile?

You know what? He's an idiot. I'm a great gal, and he should have been excited to be around me even after the sex. I called him on it. I said "You're one of those dudes." And he thought that was terribly unfair.

At first, he was intrigued, he said. But then his feelings changed. That's not fair. Yes, I'd rather this happen now than later. But there's no "good time."

I'm probably not going to want to answer questions. And I'll probably get testy if you leave douchy comments. Just FYIing in case I don't want to respond to comments (or in case I reply to douchiness).

--Cute Jewess

Today, I hate dating. Hate it. Stupid dating.

Oh, blog reader people. I am confused. About more than you might imagine. It's not going how I'd like with either Car Guy or Big Smile. One is not affectionate or attentive enough. One is coming on too strong. One won't hug. The other won't get the hell off me.

I'll start with Big Smile. He didn't email or text yesterday, which is a horrible sign. Granted, I know it was going to be his busiest day at work all year, but he could have shot over an email at least, you would think. Sucks. He's the first guy since the FAF that I could imagine being exclusive with. So...really sucks.

As to Car Guy...oy. I think I have to end it. At least, I think I think I have to end it. As I expected, there was "alone time" on our third date. My head was as busy as my hands. First, I thought--yup, he's one of those. By which I mean the dudes who think kissing is sticking out your tongue and rolling it around endlessly. Do women like this? I don't. But the kissing got better. He responded to what I wanted, and soon it was just fine. As to the "other stuff," I gotta say, I was impressed. He's better at pleasuring a lady than most men--including Big Smile. So, yay for Car Guy. I started thinking--hey, maybe I'll keep this one around for a while. But then it was my turn, and I just...wasn't feeling it. I knew I wasn't going to sleep with him, but all of the sudden, I just wanted to stop altogether. I didn't want to be in that situation with him. We kind of did stop. But I'll keep the rest of the details to myself.

So...why? Was it because I'm turned off by Car Guy's body? Because, in truth, I think I am. I find his face very attractive. His bod not so much. He's big. He's sweaty. I don't like his feet. Or was it because my "heart," so to speak, is somewhere else? Maybe I can't be physical with two guys at once (and no not literally "at once"). I don't know. But my gut is saying that I don't want to keep seeing Car Guy.

This pretty much sucks. Because he's ready to have a relationship wtih me. Ready to plan trips. He's talking about us like we're at the start of something long-lasting. If this were Big Smile saying these things? I'd be thrilled to bits. But Car Guy saying them makes me feel uncomfortable.

So, for today, I am not a fan of dating. Today, I think dating is dooky. And the boy I like should like me back, and the boy I don't like as much should have slowed his ass down.

Thankfully, these low days are rare lately. I can't say I'll return to sunny Cute Jewess right away...especially if I don't hear from BS...but I can say that I hope to.

--Cute Jewess

Ugh. I can't help but keep wondering: Does Big Smile liiiiiiiiiike me?

I've seen him once since the lovin'. It was...nice. It was fine. We hung out. Had a good time together. But he wasn't affectionate at all. Barely even touched me. I kissed him chastely a couple times--and he seemed to respond. I mean, I do know he finds me attractive. Thinking back, this might just be his temperament. The time he was most touchy-feely was when he was pretty darn drunk. But still, a big part of me can't help wonder: Is he just not that into me?

I've been trying to prepare myself for the "You're really cool, so can we be just friends?" conversation. I would hate that conversation so much. I like this guy. Kind of a lot. He makes me smile; he's goofy but also tough. Metrosexual enough, but still manly. Smart, cute. Oy. Also, I don't know when I'll be able to see him again. He's out of town this weekend, and our date the next week probably has to be rescheduled.

So there you go. I'm left to wonder. For a while.

RH thinks it's too early to be worrying about this stuff. She and I stayed out real late last night hanging out at a couple of our regular bars. Total fun! Between her new beau and my many recent dates, I hadn't seen her in ages! She kept saying over and over not to worry about Big Smile. But still...well...I am.

Also, RH said to me almost right away, "You look super skinny." I looked a bit perplexed. "I'm the same as the last time you saw me." And then I realized. It's the jeans. I told her that, showed off the enhanced tush, and she was suitably impressed by my new magic dungarees. And don't worry--if you're still dying to know what they are, you can email me at cutejewess@gmail.com and I'll tell ya. :)

Update: Best Friend thinks BS likes me. But not as much as I like him. That's pretty much my worry.

--Cute Jewess

Second post of the day!

Huh. Chalk this up to a case of "You can't judge a book by its profile."
Remember Please Oh Please? I wrote to him again--really only because I'm trying not to focus too much on Big Smile. I wrote him a cute, funny, confident email. And within an hour, he wrote back.

But his reply was surprising. His profile was one of the best I'd ever read. Funny, sweet, casual, intelligent. On paper, we seemed like such a dang good match.

Then I read his reply--and it was totally disappointing. He doesn't seem uninterested, just kind of...dickish. I wrote back again to his reply, and we'll see if he writes back--and more importantly, we'll see if he writes back something worth reading.

If he doesn't though? Eh. Totally his loss. And perhaps not even a little bit mine.

--Cute Jewess

If you haven't yet read the dirt from this weekend, scroll down :) But right now, I've got to chat about Car Guy.

I've mentioned endlessly before that I'm an email/text girl rather than a phone girl. But Car Guy has started calling. To chat. About stuff I don't care about. When I told Loverville about one of our conversations, she emailed "Omg... [CG] thinks you're his girlfriend now, and thinks he can talk to you about these inane things!!! Hah!"

So yes, Big Smile is still in the lead. But until--if ever--we're exclusive, I want to keep actively dating other guys. I don't want to get too into BS--to focus too much of my attention on him. Because what if it doesn't work out? It's still so early. Basically, I guess I'm trying to protect myself even just a bit. Plus, I do enjoy hanging out with Car Guy. Quite a lot, actually. So we'll see if that enjoyment continues.

In the meantime, though, I can't wait to see BS again.

So...well...I guess there's not much protecting myself after all.

--Cute Jewess

Lordy, I am so tired.

I am tired because I didn't sleep at my own apartment last night, and I just couldn't stay asleep. What a surprising evening. You'd think because I had a special date set up with Car Guy, that he'd be the one I'll be writing about. But at the last minute, CG had to cancel. He did it well, had a good reason, was totally disappointed, etc. And we'll see how he makes it up to me.

I emailed the trio of Real Life gal pals whom you know, Best Friend, RH and Loverville, and almost immediately, BF and LV wrote back "Call Smoochy!" Ha. They figured I might as well get some fool-around time from someone. And, I did. But not Smooch Boy.

Even though I'd vowed to let Big Smile be the next one to contact me, I caved. I texted him to see what was up. He invited me out. I met him at a bar--with his friends--and almost the moment he saw me--right at the time our lips met for a mostly chaste hello kiss--hmmm, how would a lady say this? The blood rushed to "down there" in a bulgey fashion. The dude gets excited just to touch me the tiniest bit. Later he would say I "just do it for him." You'll hear me refer to myself as "cute" (duh), I think I've got a nice little figure. And sometimes I enjoy flaunting it. But to Big Smile? I'm all "sexy" and nothing but. I'm not used to being the "hot" girl, despite whatever tiny dresses I may wear now and again. I like turning Big Smile on ;-)

He was sweet, charming, attentive, funny. We wound up at his place, and more blood flowed in bulgey fashion. I told him--look, I'm not the kind of girl who gets intimate with a guy and expects him to then vanish. He said, "What, and I am? I'm not planning on vanishing." And, well, I'd been wondering about the bigness...not of the smile...and lordy, it's big. I mean, there might have to be some getting used to it. But there was some pretty darn good sex that night. And some more the next morning.

I called Best Friend when I got home, and we chatted it out. At the end of our girl dishing, she asked "So you're attracted to him? And he's nice? And you want to date him?" And I answered: "Yup." She asked, "So there are no issues?" And I replied, "Nope."

At least not right now. Did I sleep with him too fast? Maybe. But right now I'm not sweating it. I'm not sure this is the guy I want to have a relationship with, marry, etc. etc. But after 3 dates, I can't be expected to know that, right!? I'll just see what happens. I like the dude. Enjoy his company. He feels the same way.

As Loverville emailed me this morning, "Big Smile is in the lead!"

Is he as affectionate as Car Guy? No, and I wouldn't mind if he were. But he treats me well, I don't think he's a d*ck, he's obviously intelligent, and I find him attractive. At this point, that's all I need.

--Cute Jewess

Smooch Boy tried to booty call me last night. Man, he's itching for some Cute Jewess ;-) I declined nicely.

I'm seeing Car Guy tonight, and I'm looking forward to it. I'm curious to see how our night ends--I would be surprised if there isn't some alone time thrown in there. He's so sweet and attentive. I like that I feel I can call, email, or text him whenever I want without him thinking it's "over eager." He just responds with something romantic like "I can't wait to see you again."

In fact, I wish I felt that way with Big Smile. Because I really like Big Smile, and I want to text and email him as often as I please--but I'm not sure I can. He's less overtly romantic, and I find myself wondering if that's just his personality (which I think it is) or whether I'm coming on too eagerly. But we do text and email on a regular basis, so I'm not worried yet. I'll have to see him again before I'll know what's going on. I'm a little nervous to see Big Smile again, I admit. Did we get physical too soon? For now, I've vowed to let him be the next to contact me, which will be hard! But I've got to hold back. I hope I get to see him next week. I'm feeling impatient about it. Wish me luck that he'll get in touch and confirm plans for our next date!

Update: Ha. So, the 3 people I talk to most often in "real life" about dudes are Best Friend, RH, and Loverville. And since all 3 read the blog, they have no clue whom I'm talking about when I use real names. So I'll be going on about some dude, and they'll email back: Wait, is this Car Guy?

Jeez, I just hope I remember the guys' real names and don't mix them up at the wrong moment!!

--Cute Jewess

I made the right decision.

But I'll tell you, walking home last night, I couldn't get Smooch Boy out of my mind. He was there for the taking. I could have called him up, said--screw it, lets get a drink--and seen where the night would take us. Plus, I thought about how I've only been on 2 dates each with BS and CG. If I'm going to fool around with Smoochy, it should be sooner rather than later!

But then I thought about how much sweeter BS and CG are. How thinking about them makes me smile. How if I fooled around with Smoochy, it would be 3 guys in one week. I thought about how I'd feel if I slept with one guy while liking two others. It wasn't going to work for me.

Later that night, Car Guy sent me a text saying simply, "Goodnight, Angel." This morning, Big Smile emailed just to say hi.

I know CG's planning a super special date for this weekend. I'm still waiting for BS to cement our plans for next week, but I'm not too worried. These are good guys, I think.

Ugh. I haven't been able to get to the gym for longer than I'm comfortable with. I'm trying to get there during lunch today--something I never do. I'm thinking if I write it on the blog, though, that'll motivate me to get my lunchtime ass in gear! After all, I've got at least one hot date this weekend ;-)

Update: What an f-ing great workout! I rock :)

--Cute Jewess

Ok, so some days ago, Smooch Boy and I made plans for later tonight. Considering our last get together, it's safe to assume our night would get physical in some way. We might have even done the deed. And the thing is, I want to have sex with him. In theory. But now we've got Car Guy and Big Smile in the mix. BS started the week, CG will end it. Can I really stick Smooch Boy in between?

Right now, I'm thinking no. I canceled our plans. As hot as I can be for Smoochy, he's someone I'm only interested in physically. So part of me thinks--yay! Maybe I could have some sex tonight! Which--don't get me wrong--sounds pretty good for someone who's mostly held out for many months. But I don't want to regret anything, and I'd rather be intimate with someone I could imagine dating more seriously--like BS or CG. So, despite the ease with which I could have whatever I wanted tonight...I will wait.

Besides, from the look of Mr. Big Smile (as discussed yesterday), waiting might well be worth it. Smooch Boy--the gentile--has not been quite as blessed.

Big Smile and I have amorphous plans for next week, but until they're cemented and confirmed, I'm not counting on anything for sure.

So, as usual folks, to be continued...

--Cute Jewess

Welllllll, last night was a surprise. Dang, the blog's getting juicy. Most of all for me.

See, the thing is, I felt very comfortable with Big Smile. Because we were both so physically chaste on our first date--barely cheek kissed goodnight--and because we'd both discussed how we like to take things slowly, I guess I let my guard down a bit. I gotta say, he doesn't seem like a douche. Big Smile seems like a nice Jewish boy--with an edge. Just how I like 'em.

By the way, we can add another sample to the Great Jewish Penis debate of a couple months back. Big Smile = Big...well, you know. Homeboy's hung.

No, we didn't have sex. When I tell a dude "No sex" before getting cozy with him, I mean it. But there was the "other stuff". And it was good. And no, don't even ask for more details. He's a fabulous kisser--definitely one of the best I've kissed. He's smart, funny, sweet, good to his family, sarcastic, a bit tough looking too. Not ripped, but fit.

Big Smile's also quite smitten with CJ. He thinks she's sexy. He likes her sense of humor. Just kissing her gets him "noticeably excited." She, apparently, talks about herself in the 3rd person and uses lots of quotation marks :-)

I will be very surprised if Big Smile just vanishes now, but with dudes you never know. That's one of the reasons I tend to take things slow--when you give a guy what he wants, a lot of times he'll disappear. BS doesn't seem to be that guy. We talked about seeing each other again as if it were inevitable. But until he calls, I'll be wondering a little bit.

Of course Smooch Boy's trying to set up a date now. And I've got Car Guy this weekend. I'm a tad overwhelmed, but I am not going to complain. For realsies.

--Cute Jewess

Wow, what a datetastic weekend.

You heard about Car Guy Friday night. Then Saturday night, it was Forgettable--who lived up to his name. First of all, he was heavier and not as cute as his pics, which I'm guessing were old. Also, he looked older than his age--although I don't believe he was lying about it. All he wanted to talk about was sports. He's one of those patriotic "go-war," "I support my president no matter what" kind of guys. Honestly, there was no connection phsyically or mentally, and I think he got the picture.

Sunday I texted all day with both Big Smile and Car Guy, and both brought a smile to my face. That night Car Guy and I got together for what was supposed to be a quick date because he was seeing his buddies later--but he blew them off to spend more time with me. Oh, he's so sweet and affectionate. But still manly about it. Here's the catch. I noticed on our second date that the shirt he was wearing was less loose. And, well, he's got a soft upper body. This was a surprise to me because I know he works out a lot, but there were significant rolls around the jeans. His arms are nice, though, which is a must. For now, I really like this guy, and I enjoy spending time with him. Our next date is for next weekend, and he tells me he's planning something great. The physical isn't everything, I know, and I am attracted to him. But I've never dated a guy with truly noticeable extra pounds on him, so it'll be a new experience.

Big Smile's also loosening up. Our flirt-texts have been funny and cute, and I'm seeing him tonight. He's got a nice, tight upper body, but he's less affectionate than Car Guy. Still, I hope to smooch him tonight :)

It's so odd that when I like a dude, I wind up liking 2 at once. Since I started the blog, it's been GL and SS, Darky and Smooch Boy, and now Car Guy and Big Smile. But I will take it! Makes it easy to spread my attention/emails/texts, etc. around and not focus on one guy too much :)

--Cute Jewess

P.S. Oh! And before you start to feel all bad for Car Guy, he knows I'm dating other guys, and at least for now he's fine with it.

Car Guy! Oh, what a date. I'm still rather swooning. Car Guy certainly makes me smile.

Before the date, I sent his profile to Loverville, and she reported "Looks like your type." I would have to agree. Awww, I'm feeling a little swoony just writing this blog post. Guess I should start the actual story, huh?

Cary Guy and I had a lovely dinner, filled with great conversation. We made each other laugh, we were suitably flirty, and I got to see his friendly, cute smile often enough to please. He admired my manners, and at one point he complimented me as "beautiful."

After dinner, we headed to a bar nearby, sitting closely next to each other. Car Guy's arm made its way around my waist. His hand found my leg. And somehow, with it feeling exactly right, we started kissing. He has great, soft lips :) I'm not a huge make-out-in-a-bar girl, so our kisses were mostly on the chaste side--but they were hot enough to pique both of our interests, I would say.

Car Guy walked me home, we kissed a bit more, and he made sure to schedule a second date before he let me go.

Soon after, the texting started--the good, flirty kind that I love. I've already heard from him today. I've got a sweet, satisfied smile on my face right now.

It'll be an interesting experiment. Loverville and I have often found that the guys who come on strong right away tend to "fizzle out" in the near future. So here we have Big Smile--with whom I've got another date set up by this point--who's more reserved, more of a quiet kind of guy. Then we've got Car Guy, who's flashier with his attention--who seems to be an action-taking kind of guy.

Which fella--if either--will turn out to be the one whose attentions stay the course?

Hmmm, I guess you'll just have to stay tuned ;-)

--Cute Jewess

P.S. Oh! And I wore the new magic ass jeans, and I'm sure Car Guy appreciated them :)

Big Smile texted me last night. At first, it seemed to be a friendly exchange rather than a flirty one. But text flirting is what's fun--text small talk is a bit eh. I ended my side of the back and forth with a joke that implied we'd see each other again. He wrote back "Works for me." So it would seem that he's interested in a 2nd date. He just hasn't asked me for one yet. And until the asking happens, all bets are off. I could have responded to his "Works for me" with a text smiley face or something, but I chose to let him have the last word. Still, would a guy contact a girl he wasn't interested in seeing again, the day after a first date? I would think no...but again. Dudes. Who knows?

So, here's my plan of action: If he doesn't get in touch again today or tomorrow, I'll send over an email or something. Since he was the first to get in touch, I think it's fine if I make the next effort. Right now I'm not sweating it.

And what about Smooch Boy? I caved and emailed him. He emailed back that he wanted to see me "asap" but that his life was pretty crazy right now. Whatever. His turn to get in touch. It's not like I'm dying by the phone for him.

I'm looking forward to meeting Car Guy tonight. If nothing else, I know it won't be a horror date. We've had a couple great phone conversations. Wish me luck!

--Cute Jewess

Oh man!
So now I'm in that annoying as all hell situation of waiting for the dude to call.

Big Smile seems like he'll call. I think he'll call. But he's a dude. You never know!

And yes, I'm delighted to meet Car Guy tomorrow, whom I've liked so far over the phone. But I want to see Big Smile again soon. Maybe sneak in a cuddle. Hey, maybe even a kiss.

I get the sense he prefers to be the one to call first, so I'm holding my tongue--and my emailing fingers--for now. But if a week passes by, I so don't want to be in that situation of being the one to email--and then getting the "let her down easy" email in return.

He said he wanted to hang out again. Let's hope he means it. Keep your fingers crossed for me? The thing is--I like him. I think he's a good guy. I think he's attractive. But I don't have that over-hyped up "crush" feeling that's all consuming and--too often--entirely fleeting. Basically, I'd like to make out with Big Smile.

Can I please make out with Big Smile?

--Cute Jewess

POP is not writing back. My strategy at this point will be to wait a week or so, and then be really bold and email him along the lines of: Look, you're looking for these things. I'm great. Take a chance. What do I really have to lose at this point? I've tried that strategy twice before--once it worked, and once it didn't.

But in the meantime, I think Big Smile might be on the list for a while longer. We had a lovely date last night! He's hotter than his pics--that's always a pleasant surprise. In his profile and pics, he comes across as a cute, goofy, dorky, sweet kind of guy. In person, he's not so dorky, not so goofy. We seem to have some key things in common, and we enjoyed each others' company. I've gotten so much better since I started this whole "Dating again" thing at body language. There wasn't a kiss goodnight, but he seems to be--like me--someone who takes it a bit slow. He said he would call, and he seems to be a guy who'll actually call. So let's hope to see Big Smile again :)

Friday's Car Guy, and Sunday's Forgettable. I realized that before last night, I had been on only one Jdate in over a month. Catching up!

--Cute Jewess

It's interesting. On Jdate, you can either show when you are online--and that way folks can IM you--or you can hide when you're online. I usually keep my online status hidden. I'm not sure why--it feels a little uncomfortable to me to be so "out there." Even though I'm not sure what's so "out there" about letting people know I'm currently logged onto Jdate. Chalk it up to part of my shyness, I guess.

The thing is--and Loverville alerted me to this fact--when you hide your online status, very few people view your profile. So every once in a while, I put myself "Online" for a few minutes, and I get viewed by a bunch of guys, and almost always I'll get IMs, emails, and flirts out of it. Last night, I checked my "Viewed your profile" folder after being "Online" for a few minutes, and oh!!! Oh, there was this guy who'd never shown up in my searches before, even though he fit my criteria. He's so cute, and he seems literate, funny, sensitive, genuine, but also fun. I haven't been so excited by a profile in a while. So I emailed him. And I waited.

We'll have to call him Please Oh Please, because that's what I was thinking while waiting to see if he would write back. And he did, this morning. I was so psyched! So I saw he was "Online," and I IM-ed him. He didn't respond. Then he went offline. But Jdate tells me he read my message.

So. Will Please Oh Please (hee, should we call him POP?) write back again? Or will I wind up wondering what went wrong now?

I want POP to write me back...Please oh please!?

Update: Ugh. POP keeps logging in without writing back for a second time--doesn't look good. It's frustrating, because I just sense we'd be a great match. I'm everything he says he's looking for! Grumble.

--Cute Jewess

And already there's a new J-update!

I had delightful phone conversations with Big Smile and Forgettable, and we've got dates set up. And I cut Pretentious and Latin Lover loose on IM. I've been through enough awkward dates now that I'm trying to trust my gut more when it tells me it's just not going to be worth it. There was also some cute texting with Car Guy, and I'm sure we'll meet up at some point.

--Cute Jewess

It's about time for the J-round-up:

• Car Guy: A nice, funny dude with a car. Hey, why not? After a fun phone convo, he's quite into CJ at the moment, and I'm supposed to call to schedule a drink.
• Pretentious: Yup, he's still around. Kind of. He's coming on very strong, but I'm not too excited about him. I'm supposed to call to schedule a drink, but I'm not rushing to.
• Big Smile: He's a cutie, and he's supposed to get in touch when he's back from being out of town.
• Latin Lover: This guy emailed to tell me my pics were gorgeous. Well, that's nice. But he started getting sensual right away, telling me how younger (he's several years so), Latin American guys were the way to go. I've been trying very hard to be open to new things, so I initially said I'd get together with him for a drink. But listening to my gut? I just don't want to. He's supposed to call to confirm. If he does, I'll tell him I don't think we're a good match.
• Biceps: He's got good ones in his pic, but I'm not sure how much chemistry we'll have on either a physical or emotional level. We'll see if he calls. He contacted me first--seems excited about it, but eh, who knows.
• Sweetie: This guy just seems like a sweetheart, and he likes pets. He said he'd email me this weekend and didn't. I won't be crushed if he falls by the wayside.
• Forgettable: I'll call him that because, well, I almost did forget him. He emailed me. I was on the fence, but emailed back. He's supposed to call today or tomorrow.

There's another dude I'm considering writing back to, but overall, it's a kind of "eh" lineup, besides Car Guy.

Smoochy's back in town after being away on business. His last text to me (while he was away) said "See you soon." We'll see if and when he gets in touch.

--Cute Jewess

First off, the announcement! CJ got an email from a dude from Jdate's parent company asking if I wanted to be an "affiliate." So now, if you sign up for a paying membership through the banner above, I get a nice cut of the initial proceeds. I recommend the 3 month membership--it takes at least a month to get comfortable with the whole thing. My first month sucked like a Hoover, but since then, it's been more fun than not, I promise.

What's more? If you sign up for a paying membership through Cute Jewess Tells All, I'll help you out with your profile. I'll tell you which pics I like and make sure you avoid the cliches and annoyances of most profiles. Loverville will vouch for me, I think. Every once in a while, she asks for my advice on Jdate emails :-)

And now to the juicy stuff: The break up with Darky.

God, he's great. Honestly, the whole thing could not have gone better, and I am endlessly relieved. When I mentioned that it wasn't working out, he wasn't surprised. Was it because he agreed? Or because he sensed that I was on the fence? I don't know. But I think we'll even be able to stay friends, which I sincerely want to do. Hopefully, we'll still hang out. We have a great time together. "Do you hate me?" I asked Darky. He replied: "You're a pretty hard person to hate."

Here's a question. I told Best Friend I was going to call Darky to end things. I personally would prefer to be broken up with by phone. Why get my hopes up for a great date, get myself all ready and cute, possibly give up other plans, and then find out the whole meeting was just to get broken up with? But Best Friend hates to be broken up with on the phone. She thinks the only proper way is to do it in person. Darky and I had been dating for a few weeks. We hadn't slept together. The phone thing felt right to me--and Darky didn't seem to mind at all.

What do you guys think? Should you break up by phone or in person? Or does it even matter? Let's assume it's a dating situation, not a relationship situation. Feel free to go into as much or as little detail as you like!

--Cute Jewess

Nevermind. Darky got in touch. I should call him tonight. Dreading. Dreading. Dreading. Dreading...

--Cute Jewess

P.S. Stay tuned for an exciting announcement about that new banner up above!

So, guess what? For the first time in ages, yesterday Darky did not call or email. Hmmm....could I be so lucky? Does he think we're lacking chemistry? He certainly didn't act that way, but now that I think of it, he didn't ask me out again before he left, as he did last time we got together. Interesting development!

Ok, so I'm becoming slightly obsessed with So You Think You Can Dance. And this week, they took away I-Know-I'm-Cute Neil's shirt. Note to SYTYCD: Never put Neil in a shirt again. Ever. The boy should be constantly shirtless, all the time, even if you put him in a dance called "Shirt."

Yes, Neil knows he's hot, and that makes him slightly less so. But that's just being picky.

Some interesting Jguys have made the list--I'll line 'em up for you soon :)

--Cute Jewess

Alright, so I know. Finally, I know. And I have NO IDEA how to end things with Darky. HELP.

Last night was our first "private" date, at his place. I had been looking forward to it, as I have all our dates. He is still a sweetheart. We still have fun together. But the chemistry is just missing. We'd kissed before, but last night we full on made out. And it was not so good. Homeboy needs to work on his technique. At one point I think he was trying to clean my teeth with his tongue. All tongue, no lips. And when I tried to throw more lip into the kissing, I was basically kissing his outstretched tongue. So instead of thinking "Hmmm, this is getting hot," as a gal would like to think while making out with a dude, I was instead thinking "Really? That's what you're going to do? This is how you kiss? For real?"

Then we cuddled, which was great. He's so loving. The neck kissing? Fine. Shoulder kissing? Lovely. But I've got to stop it now before it goes any further. Already, I don't know how to do it. I'm just stumped! I mean, instead of "the talk," which I thought he might bring up, there was "the bad kissing." And what dude wants to start a talk when he's getting something?

So, now I have a feeling that any hesitations he had about my mixed messages are satisfied. He thinks I'm more into him now, because I went to his place. But really, I was just trying to figure out if we had chemistry. I thought being more physical with him would clue me in. And it did. But now...oh, I can't even bear to think about what I'll say!

How do you break up with a guy when he's not expecting it?! What should I say?
Oh, I hate this.

--Cute Jewess

P.S. Meanwhile, Smooch Boy's out of town on business, but still sent me such a sweet email yesterday. I'll likely see him when he returns.

In...teres...ting...

Um, so the Shrink thinks I'm only physically attracted to dudes I don't want to date. And the ones I do want to date, I'm not attracted to. He might have a point. Of course, he thinks it's psychological. Do I? Well, I'm not so sure.

I mentioned SS--"But I wanted to date him," I said, "and I found him physically attractive." Shrink replied--"But he was unavailable." I pointed out that I didn't know that until I already liked him--and Shrink gave me that one. He dismissed SmartAlec, though, as only a fantasy.

So do I agree? Not yet. Past history may show the trend, yes. But I promise--I truly want to find a guy whom I'm attracted to, but who's also nice.

What to do about Smooch Boy? We have a sick chemistry. Physically, we're just plain drawn to each other. But I suspect he may have some dickish qualities. For the most part, he's been sweet to me, but do I want to be only a sexual object? Then again, wouldn't that also be what I'm using him for? I don't want to date Smoochy, but I wouldn't mind some good lovin'. So I'm still on the fence as to what to do about that one...Honestly, a big part of my hesitation is stemming from the fact that I have a feeling if we had sex, he'd leave soon afterwards. That's never happened to me before, and I'm not sure how I'd feel about it.

Seeing Darky tonight...

--Cute Jewess

The talk with Darky approaches, I think. He seems to be getting frustrated with the mixed messages I'm sending. I don't mean to be sending them, but it's a case of--I like you, Darky! But I don't want to lead you on too much. I'd like to continue dating him at this point, but I don't want to stop dating other guys. He wants to know how I feel about him--if I had to guess, I'd think we're having that talk this week. I want things to keep going as they have been, and I'll tell him that. If he'll only be satisfied by taking things further, then I will have to let him go.

There are a handful of Jguys on the horizon, but no one I'm particularly excited about. So I'll keep you informed on that as need arises.

--Cute Jewess

I am in love. And yes, it started online. The pictures were promising, but in person you never know! I met the object of my ardent affection last night, and let me tell you, I am swooning.

No, it's not a dude.
It's a pair of jeans.

Jeeeeeeaaaaannnnnnzzzzzzz!!!! The perfect pair of jeans. Bought online. It's a holy miracle.

Honestly, I was just taking a gamble--it had been so long since I'd found a pair of jeans in a store that satisfied me. Too skinny, not skinny enough, too low-rise, not low-rise enough, too baggy in the tush, too long, etc. etc. Also, $100+ jeans are not in the CJ budget right now. So I figured, hey, those look promising. I'll order them, try them on, and if it doesn't work out, I'll wind up sending them back. No big.

But I'm so happy with them! Yay jeans! Okay, not only do they fit my legs perfectly, but they have a special added perk: They are magic ass jeans. As I emailed Best Friend today, I am jealous of the people behind me on the street because they get to look at my jeans-enhanced magic ass.

So there. Once in a blue moon, you can find the perfect match online. I have a feeling this relationship will last a good long time :)

--Cute Jewess

What Cute Jewess is liking these days:

• Parmesan cheese
• So You Think You Can Dance
• Darky
• Cat lickies
• Texting
• Catalog shopping
• Fruity bottled alcoholic drinks
• Sink with no dirty dishes
• Anticipation for The Bourne Ultimatum
• Ravioli
• Hot sauce
• Trees
• Showing some leg
• The color orange

--Cute Jewess

Just for the record, Smooch Boy asked me out for the same night I already had plans with Darky, and I told him I wasn't free. There, satisfied?

No, I joke, really. I get it. I get all your concerns about Darky, and about whether or not I'll wind up hurting him, because I'm worried about it too. So, as one does with things that worry her, I brought it up with Shrink.

"I just want to do the right thing," I told him.

Shrink: Let me get this straight. You're not sure how you feel about him. You're looking forward to seeing him. You enjoy spending time with him.
Me: Right. But I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want anything exclusive with him.
Shrink: Has he asked you to?
Me: No.
Shrink: Are you at the point where it's expected that you'll just spend your Saturday nights together?
Me: Oh, no.
Shrink: So why have a talk now? You're unsure, but if you tell him you don't want anything exclusive, then he might withdraw, and you won't get a chance to know him better. You won't be able to find out what you feel about it.
Me: So you don't think I have to tell him anything right now?
Shrink: No, I don't see why you would.
Me: Huh.

And, in fact, I get what he's saying. If I were in the reverse situation, I'd probably ask--hey, are you seeing other women? So then why is it my responsibility to bring it up?

So my pledge is to be honest with Darky. But as to my responsibility to inform him: "Hey, we've been on a few dates, but guess what? I go on dates with other dudes too"....well, I absolve myself of that. How do I even know that he's not dating other women? If I want to know that, then I should ask.

--Cute Jewess

I have another date this week with Darky, and I'm looking forward to it. That's all I know about that. I'm taking it day by day, date by date. But right now, I want to see him again. I think about him more than I do about Smooch Boy, whom I'm just interested in fooling around with. I do hope I get to, though! Not sure when that will happen, but it's good to know he's in the ether out there, looking all hot and liking my legs.

You know what I want right now? A tan. I haven't been tan...well, in as long as I can remember. But it looks so good on a body! I have one of those fake tan creams, but I always hesitate to use them because they're so inconvenient. I picture my bed and couch with streaks all over them. But maybe I'll get inspired and try something out to diminish the whiteness.

Who Knew hasn't called yet. This happens a lot with Jdate guys. They come on strong, are thrilled to email/IM with you, ask for your phone number, and then vanish. It's early days yet, for sure, but if this one doesn't call, I think I'll write him again in a week or so. I liked his emails--he seems quite charming.

--Cute Jewess

I think we can cross Sarcasto off the list. We had a lengthy, fun enough date--the time flew by precisely because we share the same sense of humor, and we made each other laugh. He wasn't unattractive, and he complimented my figure, but still...for some reason, I don't think there was much spark on either side.

Odd, isn't it? I can't say there was anything wrong with the date--or with Sarcasto. We clicked just fine. There was just...something missing. And something I can't put my finger on. I tend to break down my feelings after a date to one crucial question: Can I picture making out with this dude? Sarcasto? Not so much.

I may add another Jguy to the pile, though. We've started emailing, but he's getting a tad pretentious. So we'll see if he sticks around significantly enough to warrant a nickname :)

Happy Monday, folks!
--Cute Jewess

And just like that, we've got 5 possible guys in the mix, starting with the 2 you know:

Real Live Guys:

• Darky: 4th date set up for next week. So far, he's been okay with taking everything slowly. We've only smooched, nothing else. I enjoy his company, and I like being with him. So for now, I will take that as enough for another date.
• Smooch Guy: Oh, he's hot. We've engaged in some flirty texting, and I'd be surprised if I don't see him again. But he's fling material. Hopefully I'll get some decent loving out of it. Lord knows I could use some.

Jguys:

• Sarcasto: Quickly we've gone from the IM stage to having a date set up tonight. I like that he's as sarcastic as I am, and I think we'll have a fun time.
• Cultured: He likes art, literature, history--all good things. So far, he talks an awful lot about himself. But he's supposed to call, and I think he will, so we'll see if there's phone chemistry.
• Who Knew: I call him Who Knew because he's one of those guys I didn't expect to email me back. Great body, highly educated, successful career, looking for a gal in her 20s. Turns out he responded right away, enjoys my sense of humor, liked my pics, and seems interested in learning more.

Well go figure!

Have a great Saturday, folks!

--Cute Jewess

Hmmmm. Darky. I am confused.

First of all, I continue to have rather naughty thoughts about Smooch Boy, and I will hope we get to rename him Fling Boy at some point in the future. But who knows when I'll see him again.

Which brings me to Darky. Oh, sweet Darky. He is just so nice to me, so adoring, such a gentleman. We do have a fun time together. But I'm still not sure how attracted I am to him. Loverville assures me that I don't have to know at this point, after 3 dates, what I want to happen with this guy in the future. For now, I would go on another date with him. And if he wants to have a "talk" or something, then I'll be honest. This isn't a guy I would like to date exclusively, and I won't lead him on otherwise.

But, it's not like he's complaining about the smooching.

--Cute Jewess

Last night was...nice.
First, Loverville and I hit a fun party, with good dancing music. Poor LV. She had to deal with me complaining about the weather--I don't do well in humidity. But overall, the venue was lovely, the crowd offered good eye candy, and it was the kind of scene that feels more rare than not in NYC.

And then...well...I ran into Smooch Boy. Smooch Boy whom I figured was out of the picture weeks ago, and yet who certainly earned his name last night. Boy, did we make out. It was pretty hot.

I find myself in a situation that's rather rare for me: I am physically attracted to Smooch Boy, but I wouldn't want to pursue anything with him relationship-wise. We're too different, and I'm just not that interested in something serious with him. But we certainly have some spark. Have I found a fling? I guess we'll see! I do hope so. Being able to get the nookie more often would make Cute Jewess a happy gal.

It's been quite a couple days for Real Live Guys, after the whole SmartAlec fiasco. Darky's still in the picture, and now so is Jackpot, the guy I liked weeks ago but thought would absolutely disappear. We're corresponding now. Will we meet? I do hope so.

I will admit. Having Real Live Guys tell you you're cute, sexy, sweet, smart, have nice legs, etc. feels pretty darn good.

As does kissing them :)

--Cute Jewess

Things are better today.

The more I learn about how much SmartAlec lied, the better I feel. Sure, I got duped. But that's much easier to cope with than thinking there's this great guy out there with whom I could have had a great relationship--but who's just unavailable.

So, my work begins to fill the coffers again. I chatted with a very cute Jdate guy yesterday, and we'll see if something comes of that. Remember Sporty? The final member of the original Awesome Foursome? Well, he's been off Jdate for a while now, with no words of parting to me. But I know he's out of town until late August, so maybe he will get in touch when he's back. He seemed very interested. But if not? Eh, there will be more.

I had a lovely night last night, including time spent with both RH and Best Friend. And tonight, Loverville and I will be painting the town that saucy color we like.

So, the life and times of Cute Jewess go on.

--Cute Jewess

Oy. Yesterday I was feeling absolutely emotionally drained. I'd gotten plenty of sleep, and yet I was exhausted all day. I must have had about 5 cups of coffee, at least. It was that kind of bone tired, where all you want to do in the world is lie down. But other commitments wouldn't let me do that.

So yes, SmartAlec is still affecting me. I did today what I needed to do to get closure for myself. I hope the intensity of what I'm feeling fades very fast.

Darky continues to be lovely. Our next date will be this week. I don't know if going out with him is a good idea. Our last date was fun, I enjoy being with him, and I think he's cute, but he doesn't give me butterflies. I don't want to lead Darky on if there's not enough there, but I'll know more after this week, I think. He's planning something quite romantic. I will see how I feel about him afterwards.

For now, I'm still tired. Still drained. Still stunned. Still hurt. Still confused. But I still anticipate that I will feel better soon.

--Cute Jewess

A sketchy update.

Darky is not out of the picture. If I were a betting gal, I would say he'd ask me for a 3rd date. I just wish he gave me butterflies.

As to SmartAlec? Goooood Lord. What an emotional roller coaster these past few days have been. I am literally spent. I haven't liked a guy this much since I can remember. And boy, am I disappointed right now. Hurt. Completely confused. But I know I will be okay. Give me a couple days. Don't worry for Cute Jewess.

I trust easily. And I'm okay with that. I don't even feel stupid--I'd rather trust too much than not enough. I even think that someday I'll find the right guy to give that trust to.

--Cute Jewess

Ha. Certain things about men are soooo predictable. No trespassing on my land! That belongs to me! Mine!

I had a lovely date with Darky the other night. Darky sure does like him some Cute Jewess. Darky is a very nice guy, and I enjoy his company. Is there spark? Yes, a bit. How much, I'm not sure.

But then there's SmartAlec.

And yes, for a hot minute there, it looked like SmartAlec was just like SS, only worse. Deeper issues. Even less emotionally available. Oh, how I despaired.

But then SmartAlec found out about Darky.
Well, SmartAlec couldn't have that.

Realizing I might slip through his fingers, SmartAlec has stepped up his pursuit. Has said, screw my problems. I adore you. I would like to shower you with affection, please.

So who will win out in the end? The sweet Darky? Or the troubled SmartAlec? I know where my heart rests at this very moment, but trust me--I'm more curious than you are to see what will happen.

--Cute Jewess

Darky is getting me out of the house tonight.
For this, I am grateful.

Sitting by the phone and computer waiting for SmartAlec to get in touch has been tough. I expect him to contact me tonight, but I can't be sure. And sitting there waiting for it would be agony.

Plus, when (if!) he did drop me a note tonight, I'd be so tempted to write back right away, that I'm sure I would. But that's probably not the best idea. I don't want him to know I've been waiting for him.

So instead of the waiting, I'll be having drinks with a boy who wants to kiss me. And we'll see what happens.

--Cute Jewess

While I continue to be in limbo with SmartAlec, Darky has entered full pursuit mode. He really is quite sweet. So we're working on setting up a date.

There are other Jguys I could get back in touch with. There are other Real Life Guys I could get in touch with. And I emailed a new Jguy today (which, of course, could come to nothing). So, I'm working on keeping myself occupied. But oh, being courted by SmartAlec was such a delight. I hope it hasn't ended.

I miss him.

--Cute Jewess

Ok, yes, I realize you might be confused about SmartAlec. For now, I will keep the details vague, but I will tell you how I'm feeling. In the future, perhaps I will be able to be more specific. But I like this guy, and I have learned to write sketchily about the good ones.

I don't know what's going to happen with SmartAlec. I got my explanation. It was certainly valid, and one I accept. I do not know, however, when I will see him next. He's going through a tough time at this moment. If you were around when I was writing about SS? Part of me thinks, "Oy vey. Not this again."

But the circumstances are very different. So what am I feeling? Right now, I'm waiting. By the phone. By the email account. That horrible, horrible limbo feeling waiting to see what happens next. I may be setting myself up to be hurt, in fact. But it's something I have to do.

There's something special about SmartAlec, and if I'm going to give him a shot, I might have to make some compromises. We have an odd but strong emotional connection right now (no sex, I'll tell you that much). I have no idea where it's going. I'm scared to bits that I'll wind up crying over him, for who knows how long.

Still, I will see this through.

As to the Brazilian? It hurt. Not as bad as I anticipated, but for longer than I thought it would. That's some after-smart! Also, those things are expensive, and I didn't even think she did a great job. I may have to revert back to my trusty razor. If I do it again, though, I'll be scouting for a new location.

A new location to receive the wax, that is. Not a new location on me to wax ;-)

--Cute Jewess

Hmmm. How to blog about this?
If you've been with me for a while here, you know I ran into some...trouble...a few months ago about being too open on these pages. I stopped blogging for a short time, but then returned, vowing not to let my impulse to share impact the people about whom I was sharing. Most importantly, me.

Enter SmartAlec. He's been courting me like a dream. The things he tells me...you couldn't imagine anything sweeter. But for the first time, his actions are not matching his words. Everyone deserves one "free pass," so to speak. I await an apology, and an explanation. What could I expect in the future--the solicitous, romantic SmartAlec? Or the inconsiderate one?

Without explanation, I can't answer that yet.
Part of me wishes I were less smitten. But most of me enjoys the feeling of a new crush. We'll just have to see whether the crush turns into something more.

--Cute Jewess

In less than an hour, I'm going for my first ever Brazilian wax.

You know I rarely curse.

I am scared shitless.

--Cute Jewess

Kissed a boy last night at a party.
You know the kind--"Let me stick my tongue out and see what it hits."

I miss SS's kissing. He had such nice, pouty lips. But Darky--I'll call him that because he's tall and olive-skinned. Also, it sounds very un-PC, and that makes me feel rather naughty--Darky was sweet, with a big, happy smile.

Apparently, I have a magic drink margin. There's a certain equation of Type of Drink + Number of Drinks / Hours = Perfect Flirty Cute Jewess. Man, I was flirtastic last night. Sharp, funny, teasing, and in no way too tipsy. I wish I could nail that equation down! My life would be a helluva lot more fun, then.

Darky started texting me the moment we parted. I wouldn't be surprised if he called, and I'd go on a date with him. But I started to think, by the end of the night, that he wasn't that cute. Still, height and sweetness can go a long way.

At least to a date, that is. We'll see!

Smooch Boy also tried to get me to hang out last night, albeit somewhat half-heartedly. What's up with that?

--Cute Jewess

CUTE JEW of the Week

Paul Rudd

If you've seen Knocked Up, then you know Paul Rudd is looking FINE in that film. He's also funny as hell. Crush time.

--Cute Jewess

I'm not gonna go into details, but there's a possibility that Jackpot might email me within the next few days! (I'd feel safer if I don't link to his posts--so I guess search the archives if you don't remember).

Hope with me! Oh, I want him to get in touch!

--Cute Jewess

Happy 4th, people!

So, what happened? I met Good Phone. Our date was nice, he was attractive, and I enjoyed his impish smile. Now, it wasn't perfect, mind you. Good Phone had a habit of asking me a question and then, before I could fully answer, interrupting with a story of his own. His stories are interesting, and I enjoyed them, but boy, he was a talker.

I knew the interruptitis might turn me off in the future, but after our date, I was optimistic. He seemed, at the end, to want to see me again. I wanted to go on a second date. I found out the next day that he did not. He emailed me his thanks for a nice night, but said he didn't feel a connection.

There you go. With my date with SmartAlec on the way, my time of the month, and whatever else you want to attribute it to, I started to feel very not cute! I hate that feeling.

My night on the town with Loverville yesterday was fun, indeed, but there weren't many flirty cuties to speak of. Still, I got to test drive my Date With SmartAlec outfit. I'm feeling better about it now--I got a hearty thumbs up from the girls and boys alike.

There's a small possibility I'll meet another of the Awesome Threesome (or, really, since Hot Piece has vanished, it's more like the Datetastic Duo) this weekend. We'll see!

--Cute Jewess

Grrrrrrrrrrrrumble.
First of all, it's my time of the month. I don't know if you're like this (gals), but I always get a bit more down, or easily depressed, at this time. So bear with me.

My ego took a blow today. I'll tell you the story another time, promise, but one of my guys is now off the list, by his choice. I'm trying to toughen up my skin, trying not to take it personally, trying not to sink into "Ugh, I'm not cute at all. Except maybe my figure, which still can look pretty hot when I want it to."

Tonight Loverville and I are painting the town a deeper shade of crimson--something we haven't done in a while! Cute Guy Out There, please flirt with me so I can feel a bit better. At the very least, I hope to dance up a storm. I'm testing out the outfit I want to wear to meet SmartAlec, so we'll see if it gets some good reception.

Busy week ahead!!
Enjoy your Fourths of July, nice people.

--Cute Jewess

Yay!
Good Phone wants to set up a definite night for a date. I'm looking forward to this one. On email/profile, he's an interesting guy, if a bit formal. On the phone, he's got a much better sense of humor--similar to mine--and he comes across as kinder, too. Also, nice voice :-)
I should be meeting him before SmartAlec, but both are coming up fairly soon now.

Yes, I'm still nervous about SmartAlec. Chief among my concerns: 1) If we don't click in person, there go my wonderful emails. 2) If he doesn't find me attractive, I worry I'll take it personally.

I know, I know. It's just that my self-esteem seems to vary to extremes. One day I'll feel cute as anything, and the next day all I'll be able to see are flaws. SmartAlec is very typically handsome. In fact, that's not usually my type. You know I like 'em slightly dorky. I know for a fact that he's enjoying my humor, my smarts, my correspondence. I know he's enjoyed my photos. But what about me? In person?

Don't get me wrong--there's every chance I won't like him in person. But that's easier to prepare for.

Smiley never called after our date, but that's okay. I wasn't particularly wowed by much chemistry between us.

Alright, kids. Continuing the Jdate whirlwind purely for your enjoyment. Although, if some dude wants to throw some enjoyment my way, trust me--this chick won't argue. Come on, Jguys. Excite me, please!

--Cute Jewess

Just a quickie to update on a new Jguy: Good Phone.

Good Phone was just a blip on the radar until we had such a fun phone conversation. He's funny, smart, and comes across as good-hearted, too. We didn't schedule a date right then and there, which could be a red flag, but he said he would like to get in touch to schedule a drink. Hmmm...will he?

That's the question of the day, isn't it? I'm giving it a 60-40% chance that he won't, but I will hope to be surprised. Would be a shame to see this one go.

But then, isn't that what always seems to happen?

Don't worry, I'm not bitter yet. Still sunny and optimistic about this whole dating thing. For now... :)

--Cute Jewess