I've had 2 dates since I last wrote: Zoolander, and a new guy whom you'll meet after a fun story!

Loverville and I rarely overlap with the same dudes on Jdate. 1) We have different taste in men, 2) There's a small age difference which affects our search results--so we only overlap in searched jdudes by about a 5-year range.

However, recently we were walking and talking and she told me about a new jdude she'd been chatting with, and we had both had a similar experience. "He says he's from New York," she said exasperatedly, "but then it turns out he lives in the suburbs!" And I finished her thought for her: "But they're all, 'I work in the city, my friends are all in the city, blah blah blah.'" We had a good laugh about it. Oh, those lying suburban dudes.

Turns out we had both been talking about the same guy, Zoolander. He was one of the guys I've been talking to for ages, and Loverville had started talking to him too. They had a lunch date set. A lunch date set for the same day as my drinks date with the same guy. For a while, it looked like Loverville and I were going to date the same guy on the same day. By sheer coincidence.

Pretty far out, no?!

Honestly, once our date was set, Zoolander and I had a 2nd phone convo that made me pretty sure I didn't want to meet the guy anymore. But how to give up the fun of being able to say "Where do you go to lunch? Oh, my friend LV loves that place!" Or to have her say something like "Soooo, what are you up to tonight?" At the last minute, though, LV had to cancel her date with Zoolander, so there went our hilarious coincidence. And so starts the unpleasant part of the story!

Later, Loverville would ask me: Was he cute? And he was pretty cute, not bad. But definitely at least an inch shorter than he had said in his profile (isn't that always the way!?). From the beginning, he was very complimentary. He said I looked nice and seemed "very sophisticated." Now for me, "sophisticated" is that kind of distant politeness I fall into when I know a dude's not right for me. At some point this dude, who had seemed perfectly nice, if a bit on the annoying side, started telling a story. A racist story. Complete with derogatory accents. He was shocked when I didn't think this was the greatest story ever. In fact, at the end of the date he kept saying "It's a great story!" He then tried to kiss me goodnight. I gave him my cheek. So he tried again. Nu-uh, homey! I'm pretty sure I gave him the impression never to call me again.

Fast forward to my 2nd date of the week, with the new guy. I emailed him first, he emailed back soon after, and we had a back and forth of about 5 or 6 emails. When he asked me out before asking for my phone number, I figured Hey, why not. Can't be as bad as Racist Zoolander! So I took the risk. I dated the dude without talking on the phone first. Would I learn another lesson!?

When I saw the new guy, though, I was pleased. He was more attractive than his pics, and I confess I will call him HOTNESS. He is hot. Period. I'm thinking even Best Friend and Loverville, who've got different taste than my own, would have to agree. I'm pretty sure I was more physically attracted to him than any other jdate yet. He had these full lips, and when he'd take a drink, they'd get all shiny, and I kept thinking--I'd like to kiss those lips, please!

He's not my usual type. He's not the intellectual dork, the funny goofy cutie. He's built, but not too built. Tall, but not too tall. And he's a mover and a shaker. He works in a very connections-based business, much more people-smart than book-smart. But so what. He seems nice, gentlemanly, strong-willed perhaps, but not unreasonable. If I had to guess, I'd say he's a good guy.

We wound up sitting side-by-side, and HOTNESS would casually touch my shoulder or my leg, saying "Sorry," when he did, as if he'd crossed a boundary. But when I didn't look too upset, he got more bold. He put his arm around me, and gave an almost boyish giggle that was pretty cute. And yes, there was kissing.

He said he had a great time, and he's already texted me since the date. He promises to call to schedule another. God, I can't remember the last time I had a 2nd date! This is one I would look forward to. He seems like the kind of guy who'll call when he says he's going to call.

I'm not going to lie--I wanna see that shirt off, my friends.

Oh! And I almost forgot! To add to the week of coincidences, HOTNESS asked me out to the same place I'd gone with Racist Zoolander! So when we got there, the bartender was like, "Weren't you guys here last week?" I widened my eyes and shook my head. "No, I don't think so!" If I had been able to corner the bartender without HOTNESS there, I would have eased his confused expression with a quick "Yeahhhh, different guy." But the moment never arrived :-)

--Cute Jewess

This week will be my exciting journey to see Conan O'Brien, care of our favorite Associate Producer, Jordan Schlansky. I'm bringing my dude friend, Single, who can be a blast to hang out with and who very much enjoys live comedy. Often he has crazy stories, featuring lunatic dating antics, so I will plan to be amused on all fronts. Single is one of my few guy friends whom I feel I can run anything by for the male perspective. Although I'm not sure he'd relish this description, he's like my dude girl-friend. But in case I ever divulge this blog to him, I will also add: My what guns you have, Single. We can obviously see that you work out.

*****

I can't help but bring this item to you, despite the fact that I enjoy neither Sanjaya nor Long Island bat mitzvahs. I usually find The Idol quite annoying, but how can you not be tickled by this recent Newsday headline? "Former 'Idol' Contestant Sanjaya Performs at Woodbury Bat Mitzvah." But if that isn't enough to touch your fancy, get a load of the photo caption, "Sanjaya Malakar gives a hug to Rachel Lader of Woodbury after they both get their hair cut and styled at nuBest Salon and Spa in Manhasset."

My fave part is this scintillating graph: "He did sit back as his famous hair was handled by at least three stylists including Jamie Mazzei, who trimmed 2 1/2 inches and worked with a razor to 'accentuate the natural curl.' Stylist Glen Davis tried out a version of Malakar's "faux hawk," but Malakar's publicist nixed it, saying it was 'old Sanjaya.' He left with a classic free-floating mane courtesy of salon owner Michael Mazzei."

Clearly Long Island's finest thirteen-year-olds deserve better than "old Sanjaya." I thank Newsday for its detailed reporting.

(And, okay fine, the girl gets kudos for donating her gifts to charity.)

--Cute Jewess

Does this make me a bad person?
Often on the Jdate, I'll get an email from a dude who is so much less attractive (or so much older, or all Beardy McWeirdy) than I am, that I can't help but think right off the bat: "Really? You think we're going to date? On what planet?"

I know, how bitchy does that sound? Honestly, this says more about how unattractive the dudes are than how attractive I may be. And yes, at heart I do believe in the "What's to lose" mentality and think that people shouldn't be shy about emailing others on dating websites. But still, sometimes I just feel like, come on now!

Wanna hear about my new bag? I went outlet shopping with my aunt, and I desperately needed one thing: A going-out bag. I have none. Mine are all too big. The bag would have to be petite, hot, and easily carried at the bar. Also, cheap. Very cheap. First I found one at Target that would do if it had to. It was a faux-leather black clutch with a wrist-band. It was good enough (eh, it's dark at these bars), and only about 14 bucks, so I got it. But then at one of the outlets, I saw this other bag. It was like the angels were singing to me. This bag had the kind of handle I like, was the perfect size, sleek and hot, and there was one left in butter soft black leather (the others were purple and white leather, ew). My aunt and I went to return the first cheap0 Target purse, and I became the happy owner of my perfect new going-out bag at the sweet outlet discount price of $30.

Happy girl am I.
--Cute Jewess

Whirlwind, whirlwind, whirlwind! That's how I'll describe the next couple weeks. Lots of plans invovled! When to schedule the three dates I've got waiting? I've reached out to 2 of the 3 guys to see if they want to reschedule, so we'll see how that goes.

Boy have I gotten out of shape. Tonight will be my first gym class in a while, and if recent physical activity is any indicator, oh my God I am going to be dying. I expect to lose my entire store of breath within the first 10 minutes.

Saturday night will be out with Loverville (hmmm, maybe I can persuade Best Friend to come out too), so let's hope for some juicy stories to report.

--Cute Jewess

A hot clip of former Cute Jew of the Week, Mark Ronson. He's the dude on the double guitar.

I think Ronson and his British accent are sexy as hell, but I imagine he's too cool to be my type in "real life." Still, it's not like I wouldn't want to find out :-)

Dashing Jordan has, indeed, secured a ticket for me to see Conan O'Brien. Just because I enjoyed a clip he was in on the show. Thus, he has secured a spot on the Cute Jewess Walk of Fame. And by "Walk of Fame," I of course mean "Metaphoric Roster of Awesomeness."

The next couple weeks I will largely be away from the blog, to return in early March. When I'm less busy, I will have 3 dates to schedule. Let's give them names, shall we? First, we have Sweet Divorce. I quite like this one. We've spent about an hour on the phone, and he seems cute, smart, and funny. He did have to cancel a previous date, which he could have seemed a bit more sorry about, but it takes more than that to ruffle feathers.

Next is Negative. I'll call him that only because he seems to react to certain things...well...on the negative side. Decent, funny, and certainly cute enough to meet and hang out with for a night, but I'm not sure this one will be fodder for the long term.

Lastly will be Zoolander. He seems like an absolute sweetheart, but there's one catch. Sigh. On our first phone conversation, he mispronounced my name. I corrected him, and thought nothing more of it. Until he started doing it again. And again. Each time it gets under my skin, but I already made kind of a thing the first time about explaining how it was pronounced. How will this thrilling cliffhanger of a situation be resolved? You'll just have to tune in to find out.

One last thing--I wonder if sometimes it's during times of adversity that we realize exactly how much we love our friends. A good friend is going through a very tough time right now, and I hope she knows how much I love her.

--Cute Jewess

Soliciting your funny shit.
I know enough people who could use a laugh right now, so why not come here looking for one? What's your favorite web funny? A site, a video, a blog, a story, anything at all. If it makes you laugh? Share in comments. If it makes you guffaw and snarf all unpretty-like? Then truly, do not hold back.

I will think of mine too and add to comments when I'm hit by the haha revelation.

--Cute Jewess

Some updates for y'all:

• A Jdate dude whom I'm supposed to meet soon called today to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day. I thought that was pretty sweet of him, and I will say he seems like a nice guy and quite fond of CJ. I was going to name him VD because of Valentine's Day, but that moniker doesn't seem entirely fair to the dude, now does it?
• I found out recently that my dude friend Single's relative is close friends with a former Cute Jew of the Week. I won't say which one, so don't you go digging. I informed Single that he needed to email his relative and tell him all about the adorable, smart, funny chick he's known and loved for years. Single has informed me that he's asked if the Cute Jew is currently single and looking. I very highly doubt anything will come of this, but hey, why not try?
• I responded to Adorable Jordan's email, and to his offer for tickets to Conan O'Brien. Will he really hook CJ up to see the show? Because that would be tremendous. I've always wanted to see Late Night in person but never thought I could get tix. If this indeed happens, then Adorable Jordan has to be one of the nicest people out there. And I will have some fun blogging to do. Especially considering that NBC is shipping Conan out to LA next year, it would be something special to catch him in NYC before we lose him.

--Cute Jewess

I've been gone for a while, I know, and in the meantime, you've all been so sweet with your well-wishes. So thank you; it is certainly appreciated. And...I'm doing a little better, but oh, I'm still feeling the loss. I will be for a while. The two reasons I haven't written yet about what happened? 1) I knew it would make me bawl all blubbery-like. 2) I worry that if you haven't been through something similar--or had a similar attachment--you won't understand.

So I had plans to write this whole thing about how much I loved him, how I looked forward to waking up to him every day, going to sleep with him every night, chatting with him after the shower, cuddling on the couch, sharing a happy purr, sweeping him up for a warm, furry hug.

For now, I don't think I can do him justice, so we'll go with the very short version. My kitty passed. Very suddenly. If you know me in "real life," you know how much I loved that creature. He was a truly special, funny, loving little dude. I was just utterly devastated. I miss him terribly.

But some lighter, more enjoyable moments have followed. Three good, dear, thoughtful friends (including Best Friend and Loverville) chipped in to get me that beautiful necklace I'd been coveting!! I've worn it every day so far. I luurrrrrve it. It's so preeeettttty. What a lovely thing for them to have done.

And guess what else? Remember my new "I don't know you in real life" crush? The beguiling Jordan Schlansky? Guess who sent me a thank you email for my kind words. How sweet and cute is that? We heart him with utter fondness.

--Cute Jewess

I'm coping with some bad news. Not especially well. I'll blog about it when I can.

Some recent funnies:

Today I was reaching for my olive oil to saute with, when I noticed it wasn't there. After a search around my kitchen, I remembered. The olive oil was sitting on the bathtub rim. I had heard more than once that shaving your legs with olive oil leaves them softer than using soap. Recently, I put this theory to the test, shaving one leg using olive oil and the other soap. I did not enjoy the oil shave. Afterwards, both legs looked and felt the same. Plus, I had to spend time finding my oil in order to saute. Not great.

Speaking of soap. The other day, I was in my bathroom when I noticed it smelled like cat pee--unusually strongly. I figured I had recently cleaned the litter box, and so molecules of kitty pee must have saturated the air somehow. I sprayed my lovely Bath and Body Works room deodorizer spray and thought nothing more of it. Except, the next time I was in the bathroom, it still smelled like pee. I went about my business, washing my hands, and that's when I realized. My mother had given me a bar of aromatherapy soap she'd gotten in some hotel. "It smells like vanilla," she told me. Obviously, she had never actually unwrapped it. I don't know what soap maker thinks that cat pee is a therapeutic smell, but I must disagree with him or her.
I do not love my new soap that smells like pee.

--Cute Jewess

As I've mentioned before, I'm not a particularly religious Jew. I was Bat Mitzvahed, yes, but raised entirely reform. As in, if I'm going to eat barbecue, I say pass the pork ribs please, extra spicy! And after these past High Holy Days, I wonder if I will continue to go to services even once a year until I have a family. Also, I don't have many Jewish friends who understand the Yiddishisms that pop out of my mouth now and again--something passed down by my parents, who do so way more often than I. So while I consider Jewishness a significant part of my identity, it's just not a huge part of my daily life. This will be simplifying things, but to me, Jewish says: My family is loud, but they'll feed you enough!

Recently, I found a jewelry website, Satya Jewelry, that I just adore. On it, I found this necklace.
I'm not going to lie--I was initially attracted by the aesthetic, which fits my necklace preferences--gold, delicate, small multi-charm, and not too long--although I would prefer and probably ask for a 16" length chain instead of 18".

I got to thinking, though. Would I ever wear a Jewish star? And I think that yes, I would enjoy keeping that reminder of my Jewishness close to heart. It often feels quite far away to me. When the purse strings are less tight, I think I'll save up for this pretty little thing.

Part of my newfound--and perhaps brief--Jewtriotism must have to do with recently watching PBS's totally interesting The Jewish Americans series. If you haven't seen it, I recommend catching reruns; I only caught the last 2 installments, so I'll be looking for them myself. But having a readily available chunk of American history told through a Jewish perspective in such an accessible form certainly opened my eyes. Did you know that Henry Ford was buddies with Hitler!? I didn't! I don't want to try to describe the series because I fear I won't do it justice, so I hope you'll check it out, whatever background you're from--it's a fascinating look at a piece of shared American history.

Tonight I'll be going to a party with lots of good (goy) friends, as I will be tomorrow. Yay!

--Cute Jewess

Do you remember several months ago when I told you about my Frenemy? Well, she's back. She's emailing me like her big freak out and our fight never happened. First she included me in a group happy New Year email, which I just ignored. But now she's writing to me specifically, starting "Hey CJ!" as if we've been buddy buddy all this time.

Part of me knows it would be very easy to avoid talking about the conflict and just say, "Ok, we'll be on speaking terms again now," but I don't think that'll make me feel good. I need to at least talk about what happened if I'm to have any relationship with this woman. I was hurt, and very angry. She's so immature and sensitive, though, that I don't know if talking about it would be a possibility. I have not particularly missed her friendship, but we do have friends in common, and hanging out all together in the future will be likely. I can't see her and just pretend all is normal.

So, I'm thinking what I have to do is write her back, briefly, that I can't just ignore what happened, and I'd like to talk about it not on email. Of course, I don't particularly want to talk about it with her. How do you tell someone, Hi, I think you resent me and are just waiting for any chance to blow up at me, and what you did was really shitty even if you don't think so?

Should I just ignore her? Try to talk to her even though I know we will never be actual friends again no matter what? For now, I'll let it lie. I haven't got the time in my day right now to deal with her mishigas (Yiddish for annoying craziness).

--Cute Jewess

Methinks my mojo may be mogone. I've been having less luck on the jdate lately. Either guys aren't writing me back or, in the case of the last 2 who wrote back and seemed totally interested, they just vanish. I do know that the jdate luck goes in peaks and valleys, but I'm ready for a good date one of these days. It's been a while since I was excited about a dude.

Ha. A story: I was at a bar with Loverville one recent night, when she says quietly into my ear, "I know that guy from someplace. Is he on Jdate?" I could only see the guy in profile, which didn't look familiar. "I don't know him," I said. Until a friend of Loverville's brought the guy over. "This is Persistent," she said (well, she used his name, but duh). "He knows he knows you two from somewhere, but can't place where." Instantly, I recognized him. He had hotlisted me, flirted with me, and tried to IM me. And when that didn't work, he just kept "viewing me" every so often. Yup, he was a Jdater. And he'd viewed me enough times that I was sure that at least for me, he knew that's how he recognized me. I'm figuring it's the same for LV.

Later, LV would email me "When I was first talking to him, it looked like you were trying to hide yourself in your drink -- I was thinking, nice try, [CJ], you're going to have to reveal your face at some point!!! ;-)" Indeed, LV was her usual gracious, warm, chatty self. I, on the other hand? Was on the colder side. It's just that if it were me--as it once was, in fact, when I saw a Jdate dude in a bar and knew he'd already not written me back--I'd be practical about the fact that it's just a no-go. (About that, Sporty said that dude had been eyeing me most of the night and I should go over and introduce myself. But come on, he didn't email me back. If he wanted to meet me at the bar, he could come on over his own self.) Anyway, when I finally couldn't avoid Persistent any longer, we had a brief conversation. He exaggerated his reaction to everything I said, as if to telegraph "Look how surprised I am at what you do! I did not at all read it in your profile!" I excused myself to the bathroom, he got the picture, and he went back to his friends.

Afterwards, I was feeling kind of bad. I wasn't impolite, just not especially warm. I felt a twinge of guilt. But both LV and Best Friend (after hearing the story) assured me no guilt was necessary--so I will chalk it up to just not wanting to be entirely inviting.

This next week will be on the busy side, with friends rather than dating, culminating in a birthday party Friday for my friend Dopelganger (he's like the gay male version of me in taste and personality--we love him, clearly). I'm hoping Best Friend will join for that. I haven't seen her in agggges.

Come on, mojo. Don't keep telling me no go!
--Cute Jewess

Stories to come soon! But for now, enjoy my new crush, Jordan from Conan O'Brien. This clip hasn't failed to cause merriment no matter how many times I watch it.

A CJ quickie:
It is true that in the past year, I have used the word "douche" more often than in previous years. I kinda dig it. But perhaps the term may now roll off my tongue too easily.

Just now, as I came from the kitchen with a glass of water, my cat looked ready to pounce at me. My instinctive response to him, out loud and sincere, was "Don't be a douchebag."

Indeed, tonight the kitty is acting douchey.

--Cute Jewess

Blond could really use some dating classes. Also, I am now on the lookout for new datey places in my (easily accessible) neighb, as I will not be traveling like that again for a first date for a good long while.

I had forgotten that I had a small blister on my toe, but as I walked the many blocks to meet Blond, I was sharply reminded of it. Because of the unusually warm weather, I was wearing thin socks with my high heel boots. All I can say is Ouch. I got to the date five minutes late, explaining "Wow, that was a walk." Blond's response? "Yeah, this place isn't near the subway." Okay, homey, then why did you choose it!? Whatever. I'm just not walking that much in heels again for a Jdate, period.

My 2nd thought upon meeting Blond was, "Easy with the cologne, buddy." I shouldn't be sitting arms length away from you and smell your jank cologne. Period.

I will assure you these thoughts were in my head only, and I was very polite (more so than I probably should have been), and our conversation was just fine, as we share some interests in common. After an hour (mind you it took almost 40 minutes door-to-door for me to get to this place), Blond pulled the "I'm tired" line. Normally, I'd say fine. We were having a pleasant enough time, but it was clear we weren't a match. However, I still had half my drink left. Blond wasn't even letting me finish my drink. Tacky, tacky. In total, I spent more time getting to and from the friggin' date than I did on the date. Boo hiss on Blond.

Let's talk about something else more enjoyable, then. I hate to say this, because I certainly support television writers and consider their cause strike-worthy, but Conan O'Brien's show is funnier without the writers. This is because his best bits are always when he's let loose on some situation with a camera and no script. His whole Finland special was like that--highly recommended for those who haven't seen it. Without scripts lately, they've been doing more of these remotes.

Anyway, last night, Conan showed a clip of him "getting to know" his associate producer Jordan Schlansky. Given Jordan's last name, it's possible he could be elevated to "Cute Jew of the Week" status, but since I'm not sure, I'll just tell you to find this clip on the YouTube. Jordan Schlansky is one odd individual, but in the most fun, funny, loveably eccentric way. My two favorite bits were when straight-faced Jordan cracks up as Conan uncovers his secret stash of pop-tarts (adorable), and a later, separate clip--find this one too!--that's just Conan cracking up at Jordan doing nothing. Sitting there. Being himself.

I have a new I-don't-know-you-in-real-life crush for sure. Hell, I'll probably go find the clips on YouTube later and post them myself. You may remember when Conan was in San Francisco, and he (hilariously) visited George Lucas's Skywalker Ranch. This Jordan is the same dude who asked Lucas some elaborate question only, like, 5 Star Wars lovers would know. Can you see why I heart him?

For Jordan, I'd totally travel. ;-)

--Cute Jewess

I have nothing to wear tonight. I need some good date tops. I could wear a dress, but I'm not in the mood, and my tops are all rather casual. I just need a short sleeved shirt of some kind with some pretty trim and nice neckline or something. There will be combing through the closet.

If you're in New York right now, I hope you've got a window open. What a lovely, spring-like day. It's the kind of weather that makes me want to nap in a breeze. God I wish I could nap right now near an open window. Cats have it so good.

I need to get my hair done soon--it's getting a bit ratty. But oy, New York stylists are just so expensive. Mine is comparably reasonable, and I adore her, but I'm not looking forward to the expense. I know I'm not the only gal on a budget who considers hair maintenance a necessity. My self-confidence--the part that relates to the physical, at least--starts with my hair. I feel like Lady Samson. My stylist and I talked last time I went about changing the color, but I'm not feeling that bold at the moment, so I believe I will keep on keeping on.

If only I could keep on keeping on...while napping.

--Cute Jewess

My first Jdate of the year, with Blond (a new guy), will be next week. Generally (as I've mentioned before) when a dude suggests a place in his neighborhood, I find it an initial turn-off. Scratch that--the suggestion itself is just fine, if qualified with something like "Or we can meet in your neighborhood, if that's better for you." Blond did not qualify. To me, that initially says, "I'm not that considerate." Usually I will counter with "How about you come to my neighborhood?" But truth be told, I'm kind of sick of the datey places in my neighborhood. Often they're too loud, crowded, etc. So for this time, I'll travel to his neck of the woods, and if I regret it, then I'll know to look for new wine bars and lounges in my neighb. I don't expect anything tremendous from this date, but that's often the best way to go into these things.

I belive I have a coffee problem. I've always drank a lot of coffee, but I fear it's starting to screw with my dehydration levels. I'm always thirsty, and I wake up dying for water. Not great. I know I should cut back on the coffee--and I probably will--but for now I'm vowing to drink more water. Boy do I pee.

See what I write about when the year starts slowly?

In the next few months I will be planning 1) at least one party, maybe two; 2) a trip that will be both totally exciting and bittersweet (can't go into details); 3) the possibility of a new career path. So for now, I'm okay with quiet time.

--Cute Jewess

Happy New Year!

Sometimes I like to blog right after an event, when I'm working through things in my head. But mostly, I wait a couple days to see how I'm feeling then. No Smile was the dude I dated this past weekend, but the story is actually quite simple, I think.

When I saw No Smile, I was pleased--he was cuter in person. And from the start, conversation just flowed. We sat side by side, he seemed to imply he was enjoying himself, and I figured I'd be going on another date with this guy. Now here's the thing. Certain details came up in our conversation that were big red flags about this dude in terms of how he acts in relationships. I got the sense he didn't like to be tied down, so to speak, and didn't always act "right" by his lady. So pretty much, despite his attractiveness, humor, and gentlemanly behavior during our very pleasant date, I knew he wasn't likely going to be relationship material. But he seemed great just-dating or fling type material. If nothting else, I figured I'd get to see how he kisses.

But, as you saw last entry, you know how that ended. I did go through some "Are my pictures too flattering" anxiety, but for now I'll just go forward with whomever the next guy is and see how that goes.

New Years was quiet for me, which is all I really felt like. Best Friend had invited me to join her at a party, and I would certainly have enjoyed spending time with her, but I just wasn't feeling the night, so to speak. New Years is never my favorite holiday--too expensive, crowded, often disappointing. So I had dinner with my mom and dad, and we enjoyed watching Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin (love her!) ring in 2008 on CNN. From my parent's window, you can see a wonderful fireworks display, too. Dad put his arm arounds me and mom and said he had his two ladies, and that's all he needed to be happy. Awwww.

I don't tend to make resolutions, because I know I'll just break them. But I think 2008 will be a good year, and I look forward to sharing what I hope will be its great stories with you.

--Cute Jewess

More details later, but sometimes you just don't know how a date is going until the end. We seemed to vibe so well--constant conversation, and I'm sure he was into what I was talking about. So much that when I tried to shift the conversation to him, he declared that we weren't done with me yet.

Then he ends the night with a cheek kiss and a "Nice to meet you." That's literally the equivalent of saying "I had a fine time, but I won't call you."

And I liked this one.

Hell, I'd even just fool around with him I think.

But maybe that wouldn't be the best idea anyway. Okay, the full story another time!

--Cute Jewess

The Jdate dudes seem to want to move quickly this time around--which is actually a plus, I think. Why email for ages, get a bit attached, and then meet the guy and realize it's not right or not gonna happen?

Another dude I emailed wrote me back--I'll call him No Smile, because he won't in his pics. Loverville would say to be wary--she's big on teeth. But he's tall, cute, and seems decent. Only problem? He doesn't live in Manhattan. Cutting right to the chase, No Smile asked me, "Hey, let's have a drink in my area." Ummm...no. We've been over this, folks. The girl takes more time to get ready, has hair and makeup to do, and she wears more uncomfortable shoes. Who do you think I expect to travel? Besides that, it's just the gentlemanly thing to do. So instead of writing back, Sure! Let's do it, I wrote--why don't you come to my neck of the woods?

I wasn't sure what No Smile would write back. Was his invitation a test to see if I would come to his parts? I would. Just not on a first date. But to my surprise he was just lovely about coming to my area. So we've got a date set for this weekend. Nothing I'm too invested in, but I think that's the best way to go into it.

Get ready for another Jshrimp on the barbie, folks! Yeah, I don't know what that means either.

--Cute Jewess

Feel like some Jgoings on for Xmas?

I emailed 3 dudes on the Jdate, one of whom read the message a couple hours ago with no response (yet), which is a shame because he seemed to have a great personality. Also, I was invited to chat with a guy whose pic I'd seen on the site before but never clicked on because he just didn't look my type. Not quite a guido, but with certain guido-y aspects. I'll call him Boro, since he grew up in the boroughs. Turns out his profile was well written, and he seemed like a decent enough guy, so we had a bit of a chat. We'll see if he gets back in touch, though he seemed to want to.

There's been lots of texting/emailing with the FAF lately. For those of you who might not remember (it's been so long since I mentioned him!) that's the Former Almost Fiance. Although I remain certain we're not a romantic match, I still have caring feelings for him, and I'm glad to say we're becoming true friends. We'd always stayed in touch to some extent, and I hope things continue to go well with our new relationship.

But after my dating hiatus, I am so ready to continue dating more. So bring it on, Jdate. Just remember douches need not apply :-)

--Cute Jewess

Is this what Jews in the computer age do, blog on Xmas Eve? Well, this one does :-) A very merry crazy happy or at least not too painful with the family and the stuff Christmas to my goy readers and my dear friends. Moving on.

Sooooo I arrive on time (as usual) to the upscale lounge where I am to meet Pompous. I may not have recognized him, I'll admit. He didn't look like his pictures--definitely not as cute. But still, he was an attractive enough guy. Who wore his jeans belted high on his waist. Loosen up a bit, buddy. Erm, okay...

Actually, the fact that he wasn't unapproachably good looking could have been a plus in my book. However, the conversation just never flowed. We do share a similar sense of humor, and we were able to quip and talk just fine, but some kind of connection was missing. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's any fault of my own. Pompous seems somewhat lacking in the personality department--though I do get the feeling he's one of those people you just need to get to know better.

I don't think I'll get the chance.

I would have gone on a second date with Pompous, but I'm expecting him to call like I'm expecting the Spears family babies to grow up well-adjusted. Pompous pulled the "I'm tired" line, and he left with a "Nice to meet you."

It's a shame, because I do think we might have warmed up to each other, but I'm not too broken up about it. I didn't feel a massive connection either. Perhaps it was too much to hope for this soon back on the Jdate bandwagon.

But do we Christmas Jew Bloggers browse Jdate on Christmas Day? Hey, sure why not? For now I'm cozying up with a TiVo movie and a frozen dinner. It's merry enough.

--Cute Jewess

Pompous was supposed to call today so we could discuss where we would meet tonight. He has not yet. He still has about 5 hours, but I find myself (of course) preparing for the worst: silence.

Or, if we do meet tonight, I'm trying not to seem like I might be more interested than he is, which could very well be the case. Whatever happens, there is no way I'm calling him if he said he'd do the calling.

Can you tell I'm still nervous?

Thankfully I will be wearing one of my two power-dresses (not sure which one yet), which always give me an extra boost of confidence and make me feel more attractive.

*A few minutes pass.*

Okay, I'm feeling less nervous. Less invested. And hell, I'm kind of tired. So if we don't go out tonight, that won't be the worst thing. But who knows how I'll feel in a couple minutes? :-)

UPDATE: Place set. Dress chosen--it's Hottest Guy I've Ever Slept With dress, and it's hot. Shoes, accessories all ready. Cute Jewess is gonna look her finest tonight. But will she be interesting? Funny? Not too reserved? I haven't been this excited about a date in a long, long time. Wow--consulting my date notebook, it seems I haven't been truly into a guy since Big Smile, which was late August. For goodness sake--no one I've been really into and y'all are still reading the blog? Must be for the horror stories, then, eh?


--Cute Jewess

Cute Jewess is officially back on the saddle. Or will be, tomorrow, when I have my first return-to-Jdate-date. With whom will remain a mystery for the moment, to build the suspense. I am sure you're at the edge of your seat about it.

I called Eager, and we spoke. He explained he had just been so taken with my photos, and Jdate is "addictive," and so he apologized for coming on strong. We had one of those conversations that's not bad, but not brimming with sparks. He asked a lot of questions, which is not my preferred way to get to know someone. I'm more of a "let's just talk" gal than a "Q&A" gal. I think Eager purposely didn't ask me out on the phone, to seem less eager. I left the conversation thinking that if he got in contact again, I'd meet him. And if not, then I would be entirely non-broken up about it.

As to Pompous? Oh, Pompous. He seems more perfect every day we email. He actually makes me laugh via messages--not an easy feat. He's super successful, tall, has great pics, shares similar interests to me, and hasn't seemed so pompous lately...Of course now I'm going through the "Oh God he won't like me in person" anxiety. I emailed my friend Single, a single dude who online dates a lot, and I asked if he'd mind looking at my profile pics and telling me if they're representative. I assured him that my ego could take the truth. According to Single, "I think they’re great pics, and entirely representative. They also show '[CJ] is cute, as you can tell from the pics, but also obviously up for fun.' And you’re smiling in the pictures, which is always a good thing."

So whom am I going on a date with tomorrow? Oh, you guessed already didn't you? Pompous and I are meeting, and I am nervous!! I'll probably break out a dress for the occasion. I have a couple stand-bys that are very figure flattering. One of them Best Friend remembers as the Hottest Guy I Ever Slept With dress (he first saw me from behind, in the dress, and according to Best Friend, who was watching his face, he enjoyed the view). I've had it for about 7 years! The other stand-by is also about that old, but dudes still seem to love it.

Now I just have to be as charming as can be and remember all the things I tell myself about relaxing, being myself, not too uptight, not too guarded, etc. etc.

Most of all, I'm looking forward to it.
--Cute Jewess

Guess who emailed again today? Oy.
I know the "best" thing to do is just not respond. To vanish. I know that's what would be in my best interest. But...oh, I just can't. I wouldn't feel right about it. He's just so eager, and doesn't seem like a bad guy, just one who can't control his impulses. To stop now would seem so...mean.

But I also couldn't let things go on like this. I let Eager know--as tactfully as I could--that he was coming on too strong. Eager replied something very sweet. Honestly, if he'd just cut his emails in half I wouldn't be so wary. I let him know I would return his phone message when I was able, and I will hope he doesn't contact me again before then. So that's where we are with that.

Trust me, if it comes to a date, it will be in my neighborhood and somewhere very populated. Perhaps even a place where I know the bartenders in case I need to send an S.O.S. If nothing else, I may have to work out a plan with a girlfriend to call me in the middle of the date with an "emergency."

I'm seeing Best Friend tonight for the first time in ages!! Exciting. It'll have to be an early night, though, because I've gotta get home to bake cookies for the Shrink. Ha. The life of a single Jewish NYC girl during the holidays--of course that would include cookies for the shrink! :-) Actually, I'm seeing him about once a month now, and I'm not sure I have much to talk about. Still, whenever I do start seeing a dude(s) again, I think it'll help to have him around. So count me as mostly well-adjusted, with a possibility of spazzing in the future.

--Cute Jewess

See? Two posts in one day! Eager is getting...eagerer. And yes, now I'm starting to get a bit freaked out. He asked if we could meet, and I suggested we speak first over the phone. (What? Cute Jewess has learned something after all these months of Jdating? Go figure!) He left me a voicemail message that was sweet, charming, and totally acceptable. Except. Well. When I didn't call right back, he emailed me again. Like, within an hour. To say he hoped I wasn't over him yet.

Um. Wait.

When was I under him?

--CJ

Okaaaayyyyy. I'm Jback on the Jbandwagon. So expect more blogging from me, I think. I would've written Jblogging, but duh, you get the picture.

Last night I emailed three guys, whom I will rank in interest as 1, 2, and 3. Within minutes of contacting them, 1 and 3 wrote right back. And they said that ancient oil lasting 8 nights was a miracle.

Both 3 and 1 deserve nicknames. 3 I will call Eager. Because Oh. My. God. Here's the thing, though. He's smart, cute (at least from far away pics--hmmm), writes well, keeps in shape...there doesn't seem to be much wrong with him. So why has he written me 6 emails for the 2 I've sent him? Right away, he wrote me 2 emails. Then another hours later to ask if he'd scared me away. And then another when I didn't write back right away again. Yikes! Clearly he is not adhering to typical online dating email ettiquette. But also, clearly, he really likes my profile, as he's told me several times. And I tend to like it when guys express interest. So, despite the feeling of "yikes," I will consider Eager a definite maybe.

Then there's 1. Oh, 1. He's handsome, well educated, funny--we both have that dry sarcasm going on. But I think I've got to name him Pompous. His email back to me puts him (in my mind) in that category of guys who know what they've got and are eager to let you know it too. But there are worse sins. And the humor. And the looks. And the success. (In that order.) It's enough to keep on communicating to see where it goes. If the email pomposity gets worse, however? Then I'll reconsider.

So we'll see! There are more guys I would contact, but I haven't delved in completely yet. Too much work to do before the end of the year. Better get crackin'...

--Cute Jewess

Flirty High Guy is psychotic. For real now. Psychotic.

So I go to Brill's holiday party, and I see lots of Brill and her fiance's friends, whom I don't get to see often at all, but whom I've known for years. So there's the hi, the catching up, the wine, the food, the normal chit chatty holiday party stuff. Best Friend stops by the party for what she'd call "a hot minute," and I feel great just seeing her--it's been a while! So lah di dah, party going along swell.

EXCEPT. Flirty High Guy, can you just leave me alone? Please? I was working what I was calling the "Zone of Safety" at the party. Any time I'd see FHG, I'd go to the kitchen and declare it a safety zone. Or I'd find a friend and hide behind him or her. FHG? Was in rare form. Kicking chairs around, dropping food and drink everywhere--even once forcefully spewing a bottle of water all over the floor. Lovely, no?

And oh, it gets better.

Last year around this time, Brill, her fiance, and a big group of some of the people at the party went out to dinner. I was at the far corner of the table seated with (why?!) FHG and another dude I'll call Sweet Pea--because he's a sweetheart of a guy, and small. I had forgotten that FHG and Sweet Pea were trying to get me to "choose" one of them throughout the night. Apparently I was very diplomatic and said they were both fine in their own ways but I would decline the option. You know, something like that.

At the party, Sweet Pea was being perfectly charming in the way a guy will flirt when he knows nothing's really gonna happen. "So, what would it take, CJ? Flowers? Do you like flowers? What have your boyfriends done to win you over?" Then FHG comes over and starts the whole "You have to choose one!" mandate again. If you don't choose, you're boring! You have to choose! Yeah, I go to the Zone of Safety.

Throughout the night, there would be more conversation with FHG when I couldn't avoid it, and I was perfectly diplomatic--this is Brill's fiance's very good friend after all--but really he knew he was being a jerk, and I just kind of shrugged it off. Such as:

FHG: Can I have naked pictures of you?
CJ: Nope, can't say that's gonna happen.
FHG: Oh come onnnn, why not?
CJ (sarcastically): Guess you'll just have to imagine.
FHG: No, that's what the pictures are for. So I can imagine having sex with you.

FHG: Why do I get more and more attracted to you?
CJ: Because I keep saying no.
FHG: How about you stay over my place.
CJ: Nope.

Yes, FHG was drunk as hell, but he's also kind of just like this.

Toward the end of the party, there's just a few of us, including Gentleman, Brill's fiance's friend from out of town whom I also know and like hanging out with. Brill and Fiance suggest heading to a bar nearby, and we do. So it's 3 gals and 3 guys, including FHG and Sweet Pea. I sit near Brill, and we've got a wobbly table full of drinks and candles.

As soon as I saw FHG coming, I blew out the candles. Homeboy's a fire hazard. He leaned on the table, nearly sending all the drinks flying, and I was just getting pissed. Enough already. "Come on, FHG," I said, "Just sit down." FHG grabbed my glass of wine and swirled it around, getting wine all over the stem for me to hold. "That's great," I said sarcastically. I had been pleading with him to just put it down. But no, he has to pick it up again and procede to spill--in full 3D flying arc motion--the glass all over my dress.

I was not happy, but I wasn't yelling yet. "Can you please go get me some napkins," I said in a very annoyed voice. Brill looked to her fiance, but he shrugged. "What am I gonna do, kick him out?" Ya know what, Fiance? Yes. Kick him out. Or at least say to him, "Hey, why don't you leave CJ alone buddy." But of course Fiance was drunk too, if perhaps not as gone as FHG. Still...

Gentleman leaned over from his corner of the table and said to me "You forgot about the Zone of Safety!" So there was readjusting, and the group made sure I was on the other side of the table from FHG.

Except. EXCEPT! FHG jumps onto the friggin' wobbly table and lunges toward me to...I don't know what! I felt like I was about to be physically attacked. "What are you doing!?" I yelled. "Get down! What are you doing!?" The people in the bar around us watched in stunned silence. Nice, right?

I had to leave. Even though I was enjoying hanging with the other people--whom I rarely get to see--I couldn't take another second around FHG. As I got up, Sweet Pea protested. "No, CJ, don't go. He's just being like that because you're patient."

"Oh, I'm not patient," I told Sweet Pea. "I was patient."

I grabbed my coat and headed toward the narrow passageway out of the bar, except smack in the middle of it is FHG. I visibly cringed. Gentleman must have seen it from the table, because he came over and said, "May I escort you out?" Love him.

Oy. My nerves were completely rattled. I couldn't get a cab--!!--and wound up walking the 15 blocks home in my uncomfortable boots. Not so fun.

The next day I got a call from Brill saying she was "horrified" for what FHG had done but that "He's more horrified." Apparently he'd asked for my email address to write me an apology. Brill tactfully suggested FHG send the email to Fiance, who would forward it to me. I do not want to give FHG any easier way of contacting me, that is for sure.

For Pete's sake. Remember when my drama involved wondering if some Jdate boy was going to write me back? No worries--I'll be signing up again soon. If only to avoid the crazies in Real Life!

--Cute Jewess

I had to leave an establishment tonight to stop myself from punching a girl in the face. I'm not exaggerating. I pictured my fist cracking this girl's cheekbone, and I wanted to fight her. She was crazy rude and verbally attacked me for 100% absolute no reason. She also physically touched me--and that's when I lost it. The word around the bar was that she was "psycho." But honest to goodness, I'm still feeling gypped that I didn't get to fight the ho.

Now, this is unusual for me. I feel anger, don't get me wrong, like any human being, when someone is being absolutely and appallingly rude. And yes, I have been known to tell those people off. But I haven't been in a physical fight since I was 12 years old. That might have been before I even knew Best Friend, my oldest friend. The dude was a bully. I couldn't stand him. He was so mean to me. And one day, I swung around when he was behind me, and I punched the sucker in the stomach. Hard. He doubled over. And homeboy never bullied me again.

So Rude Blonde Girl From The Bar, don't play with me. Because I will punch a ho. Just not in my friend's bar.

Okay, probably not anywhere. But wow, if this is what dudes feel on a regular basis, then I can kind of understand how fist fights start. So I will go to sleep now. And I will still want to punch that bitch. But yes, I will be glad that I did not.

I may have flicked her in the face. But she started it.

--Cute Jewess

What to do, what to do?

I broke the seal and logged onto Jdate for the first time in several weeks. And I found at least 4 guys whom I would in theory get in touch with. So now I'm feeling the itch to return to the realm of the dating on the internet. Keep in mind I'm short on time this month, and the last thing I need is a distraction from work right now. So the smart, sensible, rational thing to do would be to wait until January. And yet...oy...I'm very suddenly finding it hard to wait!

At least I'll wait until this Friday. That's Brill's boyfriend's annual holiday party. Last year I figured there would be tons of cute guys to flirt with. Eh, not so much. I wound up being accosted by--and barely being able to run away from--Flirty High Guy. Oh please let him have a girlfriend this year!!

I'd better stay away from Jdate right now or I know I'm signing that shit up again.
Back to work I go!

--Cute Jewess

Yeah, so the thing about a dating blog is that when you decide to take a dating hiatus...well...there's not much to write about, is there?!

It's not that I haven't been busy--God, I've been busy--but eh, I haven't had much room for guys lately. Okay, so there was that cute as hell, young as hell bartender I flirted with at Good Friend's recent gathering--but it's not like it went anywhere. Although Mr. X was at the shindig too, and he kept coming over to poke me or hold my arm while I was chatting with Hot Young Bartender...

Ah, I need to catch you up there, don't I? Just about the time I decided I wasn't really attracted to Mr. X, he asked if we could be friends. Score! Let's just say he had some big red flags hovering around him--and funny enough when I talked about them with Good Friend, she totally agreed. But Mr. X is still a swell guy, and fun to hang out with. It's just that now when he tries to be all touchy feely, I pull away, and he spits out an awkward "Sorry." He remains fond of complimenting my body. Often. Good Friend says if this makes me uncomfortable I should say something--and in truth I probably will.

I expect to return to Jdate in January, which will no doubt spice things up here. The flirting well hasn't quite dried up--I still chat up a dude in a bar now and then. Last night it was a punk-rock type who looked like Sylar from Heroes and had beautiful eyes. I wasn't really interested, but I'm trying to keep the flirting wheels from getting completely rusty and unturnable, ya know?

Oh, it's Hanukkah, isn't it? I haven't been lighting candles or anything, but certainly I can pull a graphic out of my blogger ass for you, no? Look! It's just the same as the real thing.



--Cute Jewess

Mr. X is temporarily without easy internet access, I think, but he texted me again. Hmmm. He keeps texting me. I have a feeling he'd like to hang out again, but he's not making any kind of move. Aaaaaannnnnndddddd now that I think about it, I have a wee feeling I've been expecting him to read my mind.

Duh, dudes. Obviously you're supposed to be reading our minds and catering to our every whim on a regular basis. It's so easy!

Yeahhh, see, after our first date-not-date, once I was reassured by Good Friend that she was cool with whatever might happen with X, I remember I emailed X that we should hang out again. I was still feeling iffy, though. I'm not sure why--so I remember emailing something along the lines of "We'll just hang out and see what happens, no pressure."

No pressure.

So, um, I specifically asked X not to pressure me. Of course, that little bit escaped my mind--or rather, took a back seat to my later wish for him to just ask me out on a real date already. Methinks I might have to do some nudging. Knowing me, I'd just say "So, wanna ask me out to dinner?"

But then, that's probably better than wearing a sign saying "Now accepting moderate amounts of pressure."

By the way, as for Thanksgiving?
I. Am. Still. Full.

Also, I got this fortune cookie recently and it made me smile, so I will now share:
"Lucky you. Get out your party clothes. The clean ones."

Thus ends Random Blog Moment of the Day,

brought to you by this smiley.

--Cute Jewess

Let's see. What to report? These will be busy weeks for CJ coming up, so I'm not sure just how much social/hang-out time I'll get. But, well, it always sneaks in there, doesn't it?

I'm not sure what's going on with Mr. X. At this point, I'd like him to just ask me out on a date. He texted me this weekend, but nothing much came of it. It's possible I gave him the impression that I wouldn't date him--because of Good Friend. I'm not stressed about it--just bored, I think, and ready for some juice to blog about :-)

Ah, but there is one thing! I had to look back to see what nickname I gave him--approrpiately, it was Halloween Boy. HB emailed me back recently, weeks after I emailed him--just chatty, nothing to be terribly excited about. But oh, do I think he's cute. I'm wondering how to finagle a meeting with him. Loverville and I were considering planning an "Everyone We Know" happy hour--might be something fun for the new year.

In the meantime, however...
Have a great Thanksgiving!!

I just emailed this to LV, and I think it encompasses some of what I'm feeling right now:
"I have to find that perfect [CJ] zone between being nervous/uptight and a bit too tipsy. Basically, the me you know :-)"

Ex-Who-Needs-New-Name....hmmm, what about just X? Kind of mysterious, that. Or Mr. X? X-Man? Anyway, X has definitely cooled off his pursuit. But that's okay for now. It's funny--when he was texting me up the wazoo I remember thinking (gently) "Okay, enough for now!" Ha, and when I didn't text him back once--only because I thought our correspondence had reached its natural end--he texted me back a few minutes later, "Where'd you go?" So maybe it's a good thing that he's cooled off a bit.

I do think we'll hang out again next week or the week after. I've got to work on not being nervous--which sometimes makes me seem more uptight than I am--and yet also not falling into the easy let's-just-drink-more trap. Although, some drinking will be fine, thanks.

But apart from that, what do I feel about him? Truth be told, I still don't know. All I know is that I'd be interested in getting to know him better. Something about him makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable. Not when I'm with him--but afterwards, when I think about him. I'm not sure what it is--more research will be needed. Talking to Shrink about it wouldn't hurt. I've been seeing him less often lately, but he still has the dandiest advice.

I am so psyched for this weekend. I'm getting to see a friend I rarely get to see, but whom I just love. I'll call her Creative. She's one of the most creatively talented people I know and just an all around cool, great chick. She's having a huge party, involving themes and dressing up and makeup. Fun, fun, fun.

--Cute Jewess

It's been forever since I've posted twice in one day! But I'm feeling the need for the kind of support I get from writing schtuff down.

The commenters from last post were right, and I know it--but it's still so hard to resist getting in touch! So here I am resolving to let Ex (hmmm, he's gonna need a new name...) get in touch first next time around. He did email back, and he expressed interest in hanging out in the future, but no plans were made.

I've got to let him make the next move to make plans.

No texting! No emailing! Peoplies, write me every day--hell, every hour--here if you want to remind me.

In any case, I've got a full weekend coming up, so homey would've had to wait until next week to hang out again anyway.

--Cute Jewess

Oh for fuck's sake. Why can't anything just be easy?

Ok, I'll spare you the details and email quotes from my talk with Good Friend and paraphrase. She has assured me about a million times that she would be okay with me dating Ex. Not only okay, but that she'd be happy that two of her "amazing," "smart," "witty" friends found the same in someone else. How sweet is that? It really warmed my heart, and made me feel so much better about the whole situation. After her millionth assurance, I said I'd shut up about it now, and that I'd leave it in her court to ever mention if she feels uncomfortable about it in any way.

So, easy, you think. Right?

Ex and I started emailing and texting on a regular basis. Adorable things from him, all flirty and sweet. I was probably less flirty, more reserved--but I felt I'd need to see him again to figure out how I feel. I'd need to see for one thing if I were still attracted to him when sober. But more, I'd have to see him without the mental/emotional block in place. I was so intent on not looking at him as a possible romantic interest before, that I'd need to be around him again while thinking it's a possibility to know how I felt.

But in the meantime: Text, text, text. Email, email, email. Whatever I sent, he zoomed right back.

Then I saw him again.
And I like him.

Don't get me wrong, we have differences. He's adventurous, spontaneous, open to anything. I'm...not so much. I know, I know. I can be a bit tightly wound--most often around someone I don't feel completely comfortable with. And when you're realizing you like a guy? It's hard to feel comfortable around him--at least for me. So on our second "hang-out" that could've been a date, but maybe was or wasn't a date--I have a feeling I came across as pretty darn repressed.

But still. We ended the evening with a goodnight kiss--longer than the "two-point-five" seconds he said I had allowed him before. I texted him after I got home. (On our first "hang-out" he had been the one to text afterwards--a sweet message I've still got saved.)

He texted back the next morning. It was...fine. I mean, I think it was fine. Just not as effusive as before. Then I emailed. I asked if he wanted to hang out again. He hasn't written back yet.

This was a dude who was writing me back 5 minutes after I emailed him before. Now it's been a couple hours. If I had to guess--I would honestly think he wants to be my friend right now. Just as I've decided I'd like to see if we're compatible as something more.

So, you see? For fuck's sake.
--Cute Jewess

Part Two.
I got to our designated meeting place on time, and Ex was already there. He rushed to help me take off my coat and instantly offered to buy me a drink. My eyes probably went a bit wide, and I'm guessing I went into emotional pull-back mode. This did not feel like a friendly hang-out. But I remembered what Good Friend had told me. That women can think he's interested in them when he's just being his "usual, charming self." But he kept complimenting me. Little things, but I don't know--I just got the sense that he was thinking this might be a date, or perhaps lead to one in the future.

I honestly can't quite remember what I was thinking at the time. Mostly, what was going through my head was, "Don't think of this guy as a dude. Think of him as Good Friend's Ex." I probably seemed somewhat uncomfortable. But then, I was. So I figured we'd go to a spot that's one of my "regulars" where I knew people, and where I felt sure we'd have an easier time just "hanging out."

That's when I had too much to drink. I hadn't planned on it, but I realize now I probably hadn't eaten enough beforehand. Then Ex kept ordering another round when I would have been ready to stop drinking. As will happen with the booziness, I loosened up. Ex sensed this, I'm sure. He asked me about our "date that's maybe not a date but maybe is a date." I hung my head, avoided looking him in the eye, and told him it wasn't a date, just hanging out. It couldn't be a date, because he was my Good Friend's Ex.

Ex protested that he and Good Friend had been "just friends" for a very long time. But I still hedged, and he relented. "Ok, we can just hang out," he said. "Are you having a good time?" I said that I was. "That's all that counts," he said.

But the hours kept on passing. Yes, hours. The date-not-date would last six and a half hours in total. At some point, he started telling me that I was "sexy." And meanwhile, I had learned that the guy is just a sweetheart. Kind, smart, passionate about what he does. If we had been on a date, it would have been a pretty fun date.

But when, at the bar, he kissed me, I pulled back. My head was fuzzy enough that I wanted to kiss him back, but not so fuzzy that I was ready to jeopardize a friendship over it.

He walked me home. And he kissed me again. And for a minute, I kissed back.

Then I pulled away, shoved the key in my lock, and yelled "Bad!" at him. I quickly forced the door shut behind me.

Minutes later, Ex texted me a very sweet goodnight, and said he looked forward to seeing me again.

I didn't text back.

Stay tuned for Part 3, in which I tell Good Friend everything the next day!

--Cute Jewess

Oh, I've got a story for you! The kind you'll like, I think, and I have a feeling you'll all have opinions on it that you'll want to share. And, as usual, I'll ignore or bite back at the bitchy comments... ;-) But it's long, so we'll do it in 2 parts.

Sometime not long ago, Good Friend Whose Identity I Will Not Reveal had a lovely get-together for some of her closest friends. What a fun night! With food, much wine, and excellent company. At this party was Good Friend's Boyfriend. Also present was an ex of hers, who has continued to be a friend these past 10 years since they ended things. But whom I still knew as "her ex."

At some point, Good Friend's Ex and I started chatting. We found we had similar tastes and hobbies in common, and when I told him I was shy, he wouldn't believe me. "You're so dynamic," he said. By the end of our conversation, he had told me in a roundabout way that he thought I was cute, and in a very direct way (more than once) that he thought I was cool. I left the party thinking--hang on a sec. Good Friend's Ex was totally just flirting with me. Weird. But before I realized that, I had agreed to get in touch with Ex to hang out--since we enjoy certain of the same activities. I wouldn't have thought of it as a date at all--and in fact, I was already planning to invite others along--as I'd told Ex I would.

Now, I know you will feel me on this. How horrible--painful, sticky, downright torturous--can it be when a dude gets in between a close friendship? Having that happen was the farthest thing from my mind. I emailed Good Friend the next day: I got the sense that [Ex] might have been digging me a bit. That felt kinda weird--he's your ex-boyfriend. [I said I'd invite him to hang out.] But would that be considered a "date" thing? I'd be asking as a "friend" thing.

You might be thinking--did I think Ex was cute? Yeah, I did, but honestly (I swear!) the idea of him being any kind of option romantically was so far from my mind that I didn't even wonder if I would be interested in him. So I felt toward him pretty neutral--he was Dude Switzerland.

Good Friend emailed back that Ex had been her friend way longer than he was her boyfriend, that she didn't imagine them getting back together, and that she didn't "think" she'd have a problem with us dating. STILL. Not "thinking" it'll be a problem isn't good enough when you love your friend. And STILL I just wasn't thinking about him that way, because of their history.

Some days later, I figured I'd get in touch with Ex to hang out, so Good Friend and I emailed about him again. She said, and I'll paraphrase, that Ex tends to seem flirty when he's just being friendly. He's naturally charming. He has lots of female friends. I got the sense she was telling me that perhaps I misinterpreted his intentions. That he wouldn't think it was a "date" if I asked him to hang out. So I made plans with Ex. I invited Good Friend, but she couldn't come. I invited another friend, but she couldn't come. So it would just be us two. Hanging out. As friends.

When I got back from my hanging out with Ex, I emailed Good Friend straight away: "yeahhhhhh, that was completely not meant to be platonic tonight. i am completely confused and at sea and just want to do what's best for you."

Stay tuned for Part 2!!
--Cute Jewess

I should dread my dates more often. Saturday night's meeting with Bad Phone earned him the nickname Not Bad. If anything, he just seems rather lonely, and eager to find that special someone. But he seems sweet, funny, and decent--which are pretty much my criteria for a second date. Are there sparks flying all over the place? No. But he seemed interested and asked if he could call me. I said yes. So we'll see about that!

As to my Friday night revelry with Sporty? Ha. I saw this dude who looked just like this Jdate profile picture. But, then, that happens. And you look twice, and you're like--nah, not him. This guy was definitely him. My back was turned to him most of the night, but Sporty said he kept on staring. She kept saying I should go talk to him. I think I emailed him not too long ago, and he never responded. Eh, if he's interested, he can email me. I wasn't that into him.

Our local hangout was filled to the gills with cute boys, none of whom came to talk to us. I wasn't feeling particularly outgoing that night, and neither was she. So we stuck mostly to ourselves. But we spit-handshake-vowed to be more flirty next time. I'll say, my local has some attractive guys in it on Friday and Saturday nights.

Okay, off to get crap done on this rather nice-weather Sunday afternoon!
--Cute Jewess

I'll admit, I'm kinda dreading my date with Bad Phone. What should I do if I want to get out of the date quickly? Jdate advises me to shrink in size, grow old, and talk in a German accent.

Okay, not really. But I got a kick out of this email they sent me. Oh, Dr. Ruth, what sage advice do you have for a cute little NYC singleton?

Never fear. If my date's a total bust, I anticipate a fun, boozy night this weekend with Sporty. She's a firecracker, that one.
--Cute Jewess

Next year I'm vowing to get that cute as anything Halloween costume I coveted for this year. I've got the web page with it bookmarked, and when it's back in stock (they sold out!) I'm going to indulge.

This year I wound up downtown with Best Friend, and we spoke to several guys, none of whom were particularly exciting in the end. But we looked adorable (her boobies were very perky) and I enjoyed the venue. There's other stuff I could tell you, but I haven't finished processing it yet in my own head, and I think I will need to test the waters more before I report back. Perhaps this weekend, when Sporty and I will next be out on the town, I'll be able to give a meatier synopsis. It's possible...well...it's possible I might work on looking a bit more sexy. I might do up the eyes a bit more. Might check the wardrobe to see if I have something more alluring than my usual "cute" outfits. Nothing too overt. But mixing it up.

Also in the works for this weekend? Oy. I think I messed up again on the Jdate front. I made plans with a dude before talking to him on the phone. (I know, I know.) He seemed decent on email--we did the funny banter. Yeahhhhh then we spoke on the phone. I think he's a bit of a downer. Already I don't think we're a match, but ya know what? I'll keep the dating wheels greased and keep up the practice. I'll know not to expect much, which--I mean--I knew already. But now I really know. I received two calls this week, too, from Jdate dudes I gave my number to a couple weeks ago. Thank God I didn't pick up either of the calls because I had no idea who they were. A quick check of the email archives led to a couple "Oh, that guy" moments. I think I'll call one of them back, but honestly, they're both pretty eh.

I have a feeling I'll be taking a break from the Jdate when my membership expires. At least a couple weeks, maybe more. Gotta wait for some new profiles to pop up that aren't...dregs.

(And no, I'm not feeling particularly pessimistic about it right now, Debbie Downers of the world.)
--Cute Jewess

In the spirit of "Why not?" I emailed Halloween Boy. Will he respond?
Sporty backed out of the fun Halloween plans we had for tonight, but now it looks like Best Friend might be going out. Will I join her for Spooky Fun?

Stay tuned, ghouls and goblins. Mwah-ha-ha-hah.

Saturday! I'm late with my report, sorry. I'm fighting a cold hard core before it fully blossoms. Take that, early germs!

Getting ready, I was overall pleased with my Halloween costume. What surprised me most was the makeup--it actually looked good! I don't know that I could go that dramatic on a regular basis, but I think I might try to do more with my eyes in the future. Best Friend especially liked the eye makeup. Both LV and BF liked the red, red lips, but I don't know if I'm a red, red lip kinda gal.

The party with Host-I-Barely-Know was different than I expected it to be. For one, the apartment was smaller, so the crowd was naturally rather intimate. Also, more people had dressed up than I imagined--and there were full on trampy outfits too--so I felt comfortable in my costume. Loverville--man, she is good at meeting people. She could give lessons and make a fortune!

And there was this guy...and oh, how I liked him! He was cute, successful, and we had a lot in common. Also, I've gotten good at the casual touch on the arm or such while talking to a cute dude. And mmmmm, his arm felt good. Homeslice worked out. We talked for a good portion of the night, and then we would have parted ways with no phone numbers exchanged if not for some clever finagling from Loverville. But I got the sense that he wasn't interested in me, which is a shame. He didn't ask for my number, after all. And he seemed to want to dance with and talk to this Asian chick--who wasn't even that cute. If there's ever a group gathering or such, I might invite him, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Pout pout.

After getting nice and boozy at the party, Loverville and I met up with Best Friend at an underground, semi-secret lounge where she goes often, but I had never been. It was cuter than I thought it would be. Later, BF and I hit one more location. I found it rather easy, in fact, to talk to dudes. I met a couple nice (and interested) ones at the bar, and I was outgoing and charming. If I had wanted to get their numbers, I'm sure I could have, but eh, I wasn't feeling it so much. Also, um, there was this creeeeeeeepy older dude who would not stop staring at me. For. Real. It was disconcerting. At one point he said to me "That's a beautiful costume," and I just smiled, said thank you--without looking him in the eye--and then basically ran away. Still, the dude wouldn't stop staring. Yeah, that was appropriately Halloween creepy.

So, to recap: Costume was cute, makeup worked, met a dude I liked--duuuuude, why don't you like me?--who probably didn't like me back.

The end! For now ;-)

--Cute Jewess

Ok people, bear with me. Cuz I'm nervous. Why am I nervous? For no good rational reason. But hey, let's talk about it.

1) I'm going to a party of someone I don't know very well. Not as the friend of someone who knows the person, but as the one who (barely) knows the person. So I'm nervous that everyone else will know the host well. That I'll be the only one in a somewhat "sexy-ish" costume, and so everyone will think I'm "that girl." That I just won't mesh well with the crowd.

2) I'm scared of my makeup. Meaning, I will be wearing a lot. Which I don't usually do. But it goes with the costume, and I did a "makeup test" before showering to make sure it all looked okay. I guess it does. But will it be pretty? Will it make me look weird?

3) I've been really looking forward to Halloween. Usually the more I look forward to something, the more disappointed I am when it doesn't meet expectations.

On the other hand! I'll be hanging out with LV and (later on) Best Friend, whom I both love. And some of Best Friend's friends. And maybe even HM (remember him?). Aaannnnddd I'll be able to booze it up for free at the don't-know-the-host's party, which is a big plus. Halloween be one expensive holiday.

When I tell The Shrink about my anxiety at parties where I don't know people well, he says "You can always leave." This is true. Trust me, I know there's nothing to be anxious about. And almost 100% of the time people can't tell I'm anxious.

I guess I just want everything to turn out great. And yes, meeting a guy to flirt with would be a big plus. And I want to feel cute.

--Cute Jewess

After a night of not sleeping well, I'm feeling a tad cranky. BUT I'm excited for Halloween, and I've got my costume all picked out. I did not get the outfit-in-the-window I loved so much, but I found an old dress in my closet that--with some choice accessories--will do just fine. Nope, not gonna tell you what I'm going as for Halloween. I'll be attending at least 2 parties--maybe more! In the past, I've met dudes on Halloween--quality dudes--so I will hope to get my flirt on.

About the costume: It is short. Very short. Mostly "cute," but the shortness throws in a bit of "sexy." I talked about this with BF and LV--I'm not usually comfortable looking overtly sexy. The dress on its own? Would be marginally within my comfort zone. But to make it a bit hotter, I got lacy thigh high stockings. THESE are hot. Consultation with LV and BF resulted in both telling me that the outfit is still tame by NYC Halloween standards, and so I'm going with it.

I will look hot, dammit. And I will drink enough to be comfortable with that.



--Cute (Hot?) Jewess

An experiment in graphics:
I installed a new graphics toolbar--can you see the glitter and animation, or is it just a solid regular ole object? Or...nothing at all? Gotta keep things spicy, you know--and my love life certainly ain't doin' it. Holla.

I've got emails from 3 new dudes in my Jdate inbox whom I had planned to write back to. I just reread their profiles, though, and I'm not feeling jazzed. But I told myself--if I write back, I'm not automatically going to meet them. So at some point I'll write back, see how the conversation goes, maybe move to phone, and then--if the phone conversation's good--then we'll meet.

Divorced never called like he said he was going to. Part of me thinks I should send an email to check in, and another part of me remembers that in his last email to me there were signs of douchiness. That's why I haven't bothered so far.

Halloween's coming up. Can I afford the super cool costume I saw in the window down the block? Probably not, but I'm going to check in on it anyway. I like to be cute and flirty on Halloween, I won't lie--but I draw the line at trampiness. Boobs will not be hanging out. Midriff will not be displayed. Upper thigh will be covered. No bunny ears.

Happy Tuesday, folks!
--Cute Jewess

After two phone conversations with AI, I knew he seemed much closer to dorky-dorky than cute-dorky. But I figured if I were physically attracted to him, that could be endearing. Yeahhhh, he's not so cute.

The thing was, we had planned to go to 2 places on our date. Note to self! Plan one place, then see how the date goes before agreeing to a Part 2. Because Part 1 would have been fine. Just have a good drink with some decent conversation, say thank you, and leave.

When Part 2 of the date happened, I realized something I hadn't been able to figure out during Part 1. (Non)Adorable (Not so much)Intellectual is a spitter. Yes, of the "Say it don't spray it" variety. This was not so fun. I had to force myself not to visibly cringe every time the dude opened his spitty mouth. If the place had been less crowded, I would have figured out a way to move my chair further away. Alas, 'twas not to be.

I need to become better at getting out of dates. He wasn't a bad guy, so I didn't want to be rude. And so our date lasted over 3 hours. Oy.

If AI were less clueless, he'd realize my body language was not inviting. He'd realize that when I didn't let him walk me home, it was a sign that I don't want to see him again. I fear he is indeed quite clueless. But if he doesn't call, then hey--I don't have to "let him down easy." So wish me luck that he actually gets it!

--Cute Jewess

Hmmm. Well, the more I talk to Adorable Intellectual, the more he seems to lean toward dorky dorky rather than cute dorky. BUT. Dude calls when he says he's going to, and that's a big plus for me. Please be attractive, AI! I could use a boost in the Dude Department. On the plus side, I had 2 emails waiting for me in my Jdate inbox this morning from promising profiles.

Yesterday I bought myself a special treat--one I've been wanting for ages. Excitement! And I still had cream puffs--surprisingly, the vanilla was much tastier than the chocolate. Usually I like both the same. When it comes to sweets, I generally do not discriminate.

Meeting AI tonight! He chose a bar I like, so that was a good sign. Now just add a little more charm, AI, and be as cute as your picture. What, that's too much to ask? ;-)

--Cute Jewess

Pouty pout.
So far, the weekend has been kinda a dud. Last night, I enjoyed hanging out with Sporty, but her neighborhood--where I'd never been before--was totally dead. Sooo...let's just say I'm not rushing to go back there. It's a hike, anyway!

Today I had been looking forward to traipsing around downtown with RH, shopping and eating cream puffs, but that's not gonna happen. I guess I'll head down on my own, since I've got errands to do.

Adorable Intellectual is supposed to call today...I hope he does! I have a feeling he might not be so cute in person--not sure why, just a hunch. But hey, maybe that means I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Let's hope the 2nd part of the weekend gets better!
--Cute Jewess

Really, Retro Cool? You're still trying to hit this?

RC texted me asking to hang out again--despite the fact that I offered him my cheek when he leaned in to kiss me at the end of our date. I'm so not feeling him. We will not be making further plans, but RC hangs out at my local--so if we run into each other? So be it. Doesn't mean we're dating. Or that he's getting any closer to a goodnight kiss :-)

Tonight, Sporty will be on a boy rampage, which should be a kick to watch. She goes after them hard! We'll see if her boldness rubs off at all.

Then tomorrow, RH and I plan to traipse around SoHo, which promises to be fun. I've got to pick up a couple things from Sephora. New makeup! Wheee.

Tomorrow night I'll be chilling with a new group of ladies, so we'll see if I make some new friends. And then Sunday night, I'll be meeting Adorable Intellectual. If nothing else, I don't think it will be a horror date, which is really all I can ask for at this point.

Have great weekends, people!
--Cute Jewess

Last night was so fun! First, Sporty and I met up at my local bar--I'm off to her neck of the woods on Friday--and then RH joined us later at another place she and I go to all the time. I've been having a lot of fun hanging with my girlfriends lately. Loverville and I spent a great Saturday night together, and I've seen Best Friend a couple times recently, and I hope to more.

An interesting tidbit from RH last night! She and I were walking home, and she told me she thought Wild Boy (our fave bartender) had a crush on me. Now, I don't personally think so--if Wild Boy has a type? I certainly can't imagine it's dorky Cute Jewess--but it was nice to hear that she thinks he has a soft spot for me, in whatever capacity it might be. It's nice to feel wanted at your fave local establishments! AND for the record, RH is beloved there too.

My Jdate story of the day yesterday? A guy contacted me, and I wrote back. He was cute, seemed like a decent (normal!) guy, so why not? He told me he thought my pictures were hot. I wrote back "What about my wit, charm, and smarts?" He clearly did not care to discuss my wit, charm, or smarts. Rather, he asked for "naughty pictures" of my "t*ts, hips and ass."

Rather than just not respond and risk hearing from Douchey Doucherton again, I sent back an "Um, no. Bye!" Douche.

I'm hoping to get to the gym tonight, then tomorrow's hanging in Sporty's neighborhood, where I haven't spent much time in the past.

Happy Thursday!
--Cute Jewess

And, in fact, AI called. He does seem shy, but in an endearing way. He's not slick, but he has that dorky charm I kind of like. So far, he seems like a decent guy. AND I get the sense he feels him some Cute Jewess. But mostly, I like that he seems like a good person. I say "seems" of course, because at this point who knows? But the initial impression is good.

We've got a date set up for next week. Will we mesh in person or not? I can't say, but I'm looking forward to it.

Must dash!
--Cute Jewess

Adorable Intellectual has not yet vanished, as I feared he might. In fact, he's sending over longer, funnier, and more thoughtful emails, which makes me think his delay in response might have something to do with writing a quality note rather than shooting something off quick.

He's got my digits now, and I think he'll use them. He's a cutie pie.

Divorced has not yet called, but I wasn't feeling him so much. And I've gotten a couple new worthwhile emails since I made myself more available on Jdate--one from a promising fellow who might earn a nickname soon. Ha. I just wrote "promising fellow." Hi, I'm 80 years old.

In general, my mood is improving, which is a relief. Peaks and valleys...peaks and valleys...

--Cute Jewess

Oh for goodness sake. Now I'm having bad luck with Real Live Guys too! Well, sort of.

Last night, Sporty (my girl friend, Sexist Commenter Who Assumed It Had To Be A Guy) and I went out for drinks. Now, Sporty is outgoing when it comes to guys. She's cut to the chase, kiss the guy in a bar, if he's not interested move on to the next. As you know, I am more shy. But around Sporty, with some cocktails in me, I can get a bit bolder.

So last night I spoke to a few guys. 1) Galoomf: I did not find him attractive; he approached me, we chatted for a bit, then he left. I found out that Sporty thought he was cute. I worked some magic to get them speaking--she kissed him. 2) Straight Laced: I initiated conversation, we chatted for a bit, and then a girl came to join him--she was wearing an engagement ring. 3) Retro Cool: Sporty started chatting with Retro Cool's friend, so he chatted with me. I could tell he was interested, and I was willing to give him a shot. After talking more, I found him to be smart, funny, and decent. I didn't think he was the most attractive guy I've ever seen, but he was cute enough to get to know better. Retro Cool walked me home and leaned in for a kiss. I gave him my usual (if rare) Cute Jewess kiss-for-someone-I-just-met: nothing too deep, but enough to show interest.

Retro Cool asked me to lunch the next day. We had lunch, and it was okay. The conversation was good enough, if not filled with instant spark. Again, he seemed cute enough and decent enough to get to know. I'd have gone out with him again. EXCEPT.

Dude works at a major financial institution. And he asked to split the bill.

I'm sorry, but if a guy asks me to split the bill on the first date, it almost always means I will not go out with him again. It just says "cheap" and "ungenerous." Those aren't qualities you look for in a guy. Especially if he works for one of the richest companies in the world! If you treat a girl to a first date, it doesn't mean you'll be treating her for the rest of your dating life together. It just means you're considerate. You're showing her you're a classy guy. Trust me, the bill wasn't even close to large.

So, buh-bye Retro Cool. He leaned in to kiss me goodbye, and I gave him my cheek. He leaned in again, and I kissed him more chastely than when we first met. Will that be enough of a signal that he shouldn't call me? We'll see.

Meanwhile, Adorable Intellectual isn't writing me back. I don't know why--we've had such nice email banter. But he's logged in several times to Jdate now over the past couple days with no word.

That sucks--I wanted to meet that guy.

--Cute Jewess

This post may be ethically questionable, but I'm bored, and I can always take it down. So...eh.

Every once in a while, when I'm browsing Jdate profiles, I'll think: "Wow. And you chose that picture why?"

So, now, I share. "Look at Me in Bed Guy," "I'm Funny Like A Clown--No Really, A CLOWN Guy," and "Wind Tunnel Hair Guy":

I can not yet say my luck is turning. Not yet.

But I can tell you about the guy I briefly mentioned yesterday. I'll call him Adorable Intellectual. It's rare that a guy contacts me on Jdate that I like. This is partly my fault--I often choose the membership options that keep certain things hidden, like when I'm online, or when I view someone else's profile. So I'm not that easy to find. And yes, lately I've been changing this to be more findable.

So AI emails me, and I click on his profile. He's got a slightly dorky smile, nice dark hair. He looks like a good guy, and I think he's cute. I check the height--tall. He's successful, too, and seems to be looking for an intelligent woman. All pluses. AI is someone I would have emailed in a heartbeat--and I would say the best guy who's initiated contact with me on Jdate so far. So we start emailing, and I start waiting for him to disappear.

But so far...he's not disappearing. He writes long, funny, smart emails, and I return in kind. I imagine we'll speak on the phone quite soon. So let's hold out hope for Adorable Intellectual.

There's another guy on the Jdate radar, too. He'd be the first divorced guy I've ever gone on a date with (that I know of), so I'll call him Divorced (see how clever I am?). I've enjoyed corresponding with him, but we don't have the same email connection I feel with AI. Still, I think we'll probably meet, and at the very least talk on the phone.

Ah, and a third guy, but he seems interested only in sex. I dunno if that's something I'm interested in. He wants to talk...we'll see.

--Cute Jewess

If Luck Be a Lady Tonight, then that lady is bitch-slapping me upside the head. Man, I just have no luck these days with the menfolk.

The guys I'm writing on Jdate are mostly not writing me back. But there was this one guy--I'll call him No Match--oh, I loved his profile! He was good-looking, seemed sincere and kind, and was in a profession I find fascinating. I emailed him, and I was so pleased to see that he wrote me back, asking to talk on the phone.

Ouch. What a tough conversation. Dude had no sense of humor, and we have absolutely nothing in common. We both agreed we were not meant for each other.

See? The one guy who writes back? No luck.

On the upside, the other day I got an email from an adorable guy. I clicked on his profile. Something had to be wrong with him, the way my track record is shaping up. But no--it's a profile I would have contacted myself. He seems pretty great. We've started a conversation, but odds are it'll go nowhere. Remember--I'm being bitch-slapped by Lady Luck.

Another cutie contacted me today, but he doesn't seem to be looking for anything serious. Will I write back? Sure, why not. No harm in an email. Another email I got today was from an illiterate older man calling me "Sweetie," professing that I was his angel. Yeah, that one I'm gonna just let go...

--Cute Jewess

Oy! Sometimes things don't seem fair. I don't have much time to write this, so I hope I do the story justice.

Last night I went out with Sporty, and I met the greatest guy. Oh, how I liked him! We started talking because, well, I was drunk. And thus bold. I had had 4 drinks, 2 of which were the strongest mojitos I think I've ever had. So Unfair Guy tells me his name, and it's such a "nice jewish boy" name, so I tell him so. Turns out he's Jewish. Around my age. Cute as anything. Even writing this makes me feel so disappointed...because this never happens to me! To flirt with the perfect guy! At a bar!

I said to him: If we're flirting like this, you better not have a girlfriend. He said: "I do. She's at home, sleeping."

He went on: "I love my girlfriend, but this is bad timing. Because you're cool, smart, and cute. I know how to find you, so remember my name. I might turn up in 3 months."

What a bummer is all I can say right now.

Except...I kinda screwed it up after that. Not that anything was going to happen anyway, but I have this tendency--especially when I'm drinking--to tease a guy. I don't know why I do it! Sometimes it comes off as flirty and coy, but sometimes it just seems obnoxious. And the thing is, I'm not bitchy at all! But it totally makes me seem bitchy. So at some point, I think he got offended and left. I have to remember to stop doing that!! Oh, the drink.

And oh, Unfair Guy. I liked you so.
-Cute Jewess

Today it looks like the family thing is not as bad as it initially seemed, so that's a relief, and I hope it's not a temporary one. Thanks for all your kind wishes. I hope things continue to improve. Fingers crossed!!!

Oy. The FAF sent me an email trying to cheer me up today. For the first time in ages, I wish he were around because I know it would be a comfort. I guess I just wish things were easier.

And I know I don't get to just wish that and--poof!--it happens. And I know that many, many millions of people are going through much more sh*t than I am. But still. I wish things were easier. And I'm allowed to wish it.

But I also believe things will get better soon.

--Cute Jewess

Lordy.
There were fun moments this weekend--like a long, boozy, dance-filled night with RH and some friends. RH and I haven't gotten to see each other much lately, and we had a blast.

But then yesterday...oy. Yesterday I got hit by two more blows, the worse of which is a family crisis. I'm having trouble dealing with the family thing, but I'm off to see Shrink tomorrow, so maybe that will help. I'm not going to write about any of that stuff here, though.

Loverville had invited me to a shindig for that day, which wound up having some lovely moments. But my mood was just too dark. My stomach tied itself in knots, and I was sure I was about to throw up at some point, and so I knew I had to leave.

I doubled over on my bed when I got home--my stomach was just a mess. And some tears were shed. The cat jumped up and started purring. He rubbed me with his little head. They just know.

Really, the family thing is at the forefront right now, and I'm dreading dealing with it. So...bear with me. I promise that I want my stories to become fun again more than you do.

Update: Ack! And on top of everything, I am having the worst cramps today. Will curl up in bed for the evening now.

--Cute Jewess