Thursday, January 10, 2008

Blond could really use some dating classes. Also, I am now on the lookout for new datey places in my (easily accessible) neighb, as I will not be traveling like that again for a first date for a good long while.

I had forgotten that I had a small blister on my toe, but as I walked the many blocks to meet Blond, I was sharply reminded of it. Because of the unusually warm weather, I was wearing thin socks with my high heel boots. All I can say is Ouch. I got to the date five minutes late, explaining "Wow, that was a walk." Blond's response? "Yeah, this place isn't near the subway." Okay, homey, then why did you choose it!? Whatever. I'm just not walking that much in heels again for a Jdate, period.

My 2nd thought upon meeting Blond was, "Easy with the cologne, buddy." I shouldn't be sitting arms length away from you and smell your jank cologne. Period.

I will assure you these thoughts were in my head only, and I was very polite (more so than I probably should have been), and our conversation was just fine, as we share some interests in common. After an hour (mind you it took almost 40 minutes door-to-door for me to get to this place), Blond pulled the "I'm tired" line. Normally, I'd say fine. We were having a pleasant enough time, but it was clear we weren't a match. However, I still had half my drink left. Blond wasn't even letting me finish my drink. Tacky, tacky. In total, I spent more time getting to and from the friggin' date than I did on the date. Boo hiss on Blond.

Let's talk about something else more enjoyable, then. I hate to say this, because I certainly support television writers and consider their cause strike-worthy, but Conan O'Brien's show is funnier without the writers. This is because his best bits are always when he's let loose on some situation with a camera and no script. His whole Finland special was like that--highly recommended for those who haven't seen it. Without scripts lately, they've been doing more of these remotes.

Anyway, last night, Conan showed a clip of him "getting to know" his associate producer Jordan Schlansky. Given Jordan's last name, it's possible he could be elevated to "Cute Jew of the Week" status, but since I'm not sure, I'll just tell you to find this clip on the YouTube. Jordan Schlansky is one odd individual, but in the most fun, funny, loveably eccentric way. My two favorite bits were when straight-faced Jordan cracks up as Conan uncovers his secret stash of pop-tarts (adorable), and a later, separate clip--find this one too!--that's just Conan cracking up at Jordan doing nothing. Sitting there. Being himself.

I have a new I-don't-know-you-in-real-life crush for sure. Hell, I'll probably go find the clips on YouTube later and post them myself. You may remember when Conan was in San Francisco, and he (hilariously) visited George Lucas's Skywalker Ranch. This Jordan is the same dude who asked Lucas some elaborate question only, like, 5 Star Wars lovers would know. Can you see why I heart him?

For Jordan, I'd totally travel. ;-)

--Cute Jewess


jgo said...

Do you call people homey in real life?

Cute Jewess said...

Rarely, in telling a story about someone else. And not seriously.

Slobo said...

It's spelled "homie".