I am in a really bad mood.
Part of this has to do with my time of the month, which always makes me feel down. Part of it has to do with work stuff. And part of it has to do with Hottie1.
Hottie1 has vanished. At least for now. It's weird.
After our first date, he emailed me the next morning to ask for another. He's been calling, texting, emailing, all suave and charming and let's-court-CJ. Then, suddenly, he had to cancel our date, understandably. Since then I've heard nothing. I texted him since then, and he hasn't responded. I know he's away, but in the past he's still gotten in touch. It just feels weird. Why has he all of the sudden disappeared? I can't think of a single thing I may have done that could have scared him away.
I guess the only thing to do is wait and see if he reschedules. Again, oddly, I just have a feeling he's not going to. I hate this part. I hate when the gorgeous, sweet, smart guy vanishes for no reason. I just don't get it!
--Cute Jewess
Back in the dating world. Oy.
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16 comments:
That really sucks. Sorry to hear this. Is he out of the country?
Some men are so ridiculous. I don't understand why they drop off the face of the earth. I can say this much--it definitely not anything you did!
do you think he's by chance in another relationship that is Almost over but keeps reviving briefly? i wonder....
gator girl in the city, you have Chococat as your avatar....I LOVE CHOCOCAT!
as for Hottie1, maybe he's just really busy at the moment, but what happened the first time around that made him not a part of your present life? Maybe he's just repeating bad patterns himself. give him the benefit of the doubt until you two talk again...
Whatever it is, it sucks. He's due back tonight, and I'll be shocked if he gets in touch. To go from calling me to ask what kind of meal I want one minute...then ignoring me the next. I had been so looking forward to date 2. It feels like every time I look forward to something it goes wrong.
it is not you, it is him.
did you ever find out why he disappeared on the first go-round? if so, that might give you some clues this time.
you did not do anything that scared him away. he is weird.
--JAC
he was a bit vague about it--just that he got fed up with jdate. But after our first date, he actually said to me, almost verbatim, "but now that we've met and I'm interested, I'll be acting on it."
You did absolutely nothing wrong to drive him away in between your last date and this one. "I don't like jdate" is a reason to not renew your subscription, but not a reason to blow off a person you have already met. As one of the above commentors noted, he is just repeating his pattern of unacceptable behavior which is probably driven by his own neurosis. I know that this is incredibly hard (since I made exactly the same choices through most of my dating life), but what you need to focus on is not what you did wrong to drive him away (which is actually nothing), and instead focus on why you allowed him back into your life after he disappeared the first time and gave you an insufficient explanation for his disappearance. Try to not beat yourself up for this - you are a very strong person who isn't afraid to be on your own (as you demonstrated when you left your FAF). A lot of women would have settled for a nice guy who wasn't quite right just to be married.
OK, so we know Hottie1 didn't stick around gave a lame excuse...that's his MO.
So, you, CJ, will have to decide if you can deal with that, because it has nothing to do with you, he's just an idiot.
I hate to say this, but it could be a possibility: he canceled your last date for (supposedly) a good reason -- who knows if he was telling the truth?
As others have mentioned -- he's proved himself to be unreliable. Maybe keep an open mind for now -- who knows, he might come back with a good excuse -- but best to have no expectations. Not easy, I know.
This may be in the category of a comment you'll delete, but I've seen it 100 times before. Women who go for the very gorgeous guy (even if they themselves are quite pretty) are almost always disappointed. Everyday Atrractive is a much better bet.
I've gone out with wayyyy many more everyday attractive guys than gorgeous guys. They both suck.
Welcome to the world of grown ups, where sometimes things happen and you never get an explanation.
Hmm. This guy does not seem that gorgeous? Best guess is he is simply dating other girls as well. There are plenty of men and women, who more than looking for a relationship, are simpy looking for ego boosts via chasing admmiration and recognition from the opposite sex.
Anonymous, do you feel all mature with your comment? Please. An unanswered question is one of the most singular driving forces of human nature--a mystery, a puzzle. So for me to wonder about an unanswered question is as normal--at any age--as breathing.
Walt, your point might be valid but CJ's point is tons more valid. An everyday guy can be just as jerky as a gorgeous guy.
CJ, I don't think anonymous was being snarky. Just that it's nothing you did that made this jerkazoid disappear. And there is no reason, or at least no meaningful reason, that you will ever be able to discern. You didn't do a thing to scare him off. Probably all those other jdate girls -- the ones he has grown weary of -- are wondering the exact same thing. It is HIM NOT YOU. He is hateful and I hate him!
--JAC
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