Monday, March 31, 2008

Original Sporty couldn't be sweeter. He's sending me cute little emails, leaving me adorable voicemail messages. He's gone out of his way to fit me into his schedule and fit himself into mine, so we'll see how that goes!

As to my schedule? It's kind of...booked. The whole week. Which means although Hotness would like to see me, that won't happen until the weekend. When I'm lukewarm about a guy, I usually need about 5 dates to know how I truly feel--on average--so we'll see about him as well.

On another note, a friend of mine has a lake-side cabin, and he's invited a group of friends to come for the weekend this summer. How fun! We are promised S'mores, canoeing, beautiful walks, and all with a group of people I really like. The date is set, and I think it'll be a blast! I will be bringing 300 lbs of bug spray, fyi.

--Cute Jewess

Thursday, March 27, 2008

I'm going to call the new guy--the one I finally talked to on the phone--Hair, because he has slightly longer hair than the guys I usually date. We had a perfectly nice little convo, and he's supposed to get in touch to schedule a date.

As to the other guys? Both Original Sporty and Hotness threw me a bone. One figurative, the other literal. OS texted a cute little hello, even though he's out of town, so I will hope that he calls this weekend. Still, I'm not sure my hopes can be very high with that one.

As to Hotness? Oy. This is where I get terrified that the dude will find the blog. Because...well, I'd like to talk openly. But I'd never tell any of this to him in a million years. First of all, some of you may remember the Great Jewish Penis Debate of '07. (I still get comments from Jew dudes bragging about their members. As in "I'm short, but my penis isn't!" Okay, homey.) This latest specimen? Eh. A bit disappointing, I can't lie. I didn't intend to have sex with Hotness on the third date. But we did. It's just been so long! And he is a nice guy. The last dude, you may remember, was Big Smile. Oh, Big Smile. He was perhaps the best kisser I've ever kissed, and perhaps the prettiest, largest penis I've ever seen. We were very physically compatible. He just happened to turn out to be a douchebag in nice guy clothing. And I get along with douches like vinegar and water. Ba-dum-dum.

But back to Hotness, and the juicy details. It was...okay. My world was not rocked. Something's missing. Just overall, something's missing. This is not your average "nice guy." You wouldn't think it to look at him--he's stylish, sexy, street smart, edgy. In all truth, he's kind of a nice guy in douchebag clothing. But I like that. It's not that--oh, he's into me, so it's not a challenge, blah, blah. I like that too! In fact, I'm probably still going to see him because he's such a good guy. But we don't have very much in common, and even if we did, we don't talk that much. For one, he's very handsy. Very into kissing and grabbing me all the time. I'm more into saving that for private time. OH! AND! Twice he pressed his ear against my lips. Homeslice, I am not licking your ear. Period. The end. No ear licking.

I get the sense Hotness isn't rushing to date other women while he's seeing me. But he hasn't said anything about being exclusive, or me not seeing other guys. For now, I'm having enough of a good time to go on a 4th date with him. That's all I know right now. That, and also I'd like the sex to be better. Yeah, I know that too.

But hey, it could happen!

--Cute Jewess

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Hmmm, OS is sending quite mixed signals. On the one hand, he keeps telling me that he'd love to see me again. On the other hand, he pretty much forgot our tentative plans. He's now on a business trip, but he promises--with all sorts of exclamation points--to call when he returns. At this point I'm not expecting much, but if we do in fact meet again, I will be happy about it.

In the meantime, Hotness couldn't be more attentive. We've got another date planned for this week. I like him, and I'm glad to be hanging out with him, but I don't feel much of an emotional connection at this point. Still, if we enjoy each others' company, that's all we need for now, no? It's not like he's asking me to stop seeing other people or anything. I think he's content to just see where it goes, as am I. Third date...wonder if there will be some friskiness. He does have a hard time keeping his hands off me, and I haven't been discouraging him.

There's...just one thing...see...on one of our dates, he did something that pretty much grossed me out of town. He stuck his tongue in my ear. If he had seen my face, he would have seen literal revulsion. I am gagging now to think of it. I sincerely hope he does not do that again. But if he does? How to gently say: Good Lord, get your friggin' tongue out of my ear canal, ew, ew, ew?

Quite a busy week coming up! So far I have plans next week from Monday through Thursday. I'm not sure when OS expects me to squeeze him in, should he actually call. See gentlemen? Snoozy losey.

--Cute Jewess

Monday, March 24, 2008

The last 2 times OS and I emailed, I initiated the conversation. He wrote right back and seemed happy to hear from me, but now we had tentative plans to meet either tonight or tomorrow...and I haven't heard anything about it.

I want to email just to see what's up, but I can't, right? Because I keep initiating! So I'm sitting on my hands hoping he checks in. Sigh.

I really want to see him again too!

--Cute Jewess

Saturday, March 22, 2008

At the moment, I think I'm at a good spot with Hotness. For one, he would return the nickname. He thinks everything about me is hot, and hey, I'm not about to start arguing with the dude. My intelligence? Hot. Body? Hot. Clothes? Hot. Hair? Hot. Job? Hot. I pretty much make him hot, period. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

So what do I think about him? I still want a chance to see that cut torso of his, I won't lie. Personality-wise, he's so far from my usual type. Not even a little bit dorky. But he's just so sweet. He's considerate, gentlemanly, fun to be around. For now, that's all I'm asking for. I've never been very good at thinking to the future, but if I know I want to see the dude again, at this point--isn't that all I need to know?

There was lots of kissing on the 2nd date. And, in truth, it felt more like a 3rd date. For our actual 3rd date, he's planning something really considerate--taking me to a place that's high on my list of interests. He's already called me today. We give him a thumbs up for dating etiquette and overall good guy-ness.

As to Original Sporty? I do wish he'd finalize our plans for next week. I'd very much like to see him again too. I initiated a couple email exchanges, and although he seemed happy to hear from me, and kept responding right away, I won't initiate the next one. The ball's in your court, buddy!

There's a new dude, too! I'm supposed to give him a call this weekend. He seems--on his profile, at least--like a cool guy. On the one hand, I'm thinking--juggling 3 guys? Really?? But on the other, anyone who has online dated before knows that it can really be feast or famine. Who knows--in 2 weeks I could be down to 0 dudes again. So for now, I'm just going to go with the flow and leave the worrying behind as much as possible.

--Cute Jewess

Friday, March 21, 2008

Both boys continue to be attentive. Adorable Original Sporty uses exclamation points to greet me in his emails. Hotness has called twice. So far...well, so far, it is what it is. I don't tend to read into little actions, but it's nice to know that at this point, at least, both guys still seem intrigued.

Tonight I'll get to spend more time with Hotness. I'm curious to see how it will go! Will I continue to be into him now that OS is in the picture? Will our 2nd date go as well as the first?

Then tomorrow will be a super fun party where I will happily see Best Friend, among others. There should be dancing, mingling, and late-night carousing. Oy, I'll need a nap to prepare.

--Cute Jewess

Thursday, March 20, 2008

It seems like there will be definite 2nd dates with both HOTNESS and Original Sporty, but I've learned that nothing in dating is definite. In the meantime, I'm going around with this giddy feeling, all happy grin-like, thinking of these 2 great guys.

One of them has been texting, the other emailing. OS has sent really fun emails, in part telling me that he thinks I'm awesome. While flattering, this has also triggered some insecurity. Don't get me wrong. If you've been reading this here blog for a while, you know I think I'm a catch! But you may have also realized that hot, successful, great-seeming dudes bring out my insecurities. As in, but if he's so great, and if he can have anyone, why me?

Basically, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm waiting for the 2nd dates to happen, for them to not go as well, and for the dudes to stop being so attentive. Mostly I feel this way with OS. Somehow I feel like I've tricked him into thinking I'm way awesomer than I am. He just seems so perfect. He's really attractive (Best Friend and LV have seen pics and they agree!), he's not a serial-dater, and in fact seems to be a serial-relationship dude, he wants kids within the next few years, he has pets, he has a good job, he's close with his family. He just seems like a great guy.

So my head's going a bit like: He'll find out I'm not into outdoorsy sports like he is, and he'll get bored of me. He'll realize we don't have that much in common, and he'll stop finding me so interesting. He'll still think I'm funny, because, duh, but we'll run out of things to talk about. The connection just won't be there. Blah, blah, blah.

If I had to choose right this second, I'd probably choose OS. With Hotness, at the moment, it's more physical. Which isn't to say he's not a good guy, just that he's less my usual type. OS just seems like a dream--he has so many of the things that I'm looking for. Don't get me wrong, though--I want to keep dating both of them for as long as I can.

I just keep thinking that won't be very long...

--Cute Jewess

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Hi! So...let's start with the story you've been following.

HOTNESS seemed so gung ho on our date about scheduling another, about calling me, etc. And then he started texting. He emailed to ask when I'm free next. And then he vanished. I mean, it hasn't been long, so it's not technically vanishing yet, but it follows a pattern that both Loverville and I have noticed--When the dude is totally eager and excited right from the start, it usually peters out pretty quickly. Just not...this quickly!

Ok, nevermind. He called to confirm as I was writing this entry, and he's a doll. But still, he could vanish any day! So, date set with sweet, funny, street-smart, sexy HOTNESS this weekend. He's looking forward to it, as am I.

But in the meantime, we've got another cute-as-anything, sweet, delightful guy on the list now. Original Sporty! We heart OS! He's got one of the best smiles I've seen on a dude, and he's already emailed that he's looking forward to another date. He's quite different than Hotness, but nothing's wrong with that. He seems ready for an actual girlfriend, not just dating around. He wants kids, has pets that he adores. What's not to like there? We had a pretty chaste kiss goodnight, but that can be remedied next time :-)

Interestingly, both Hotness and OS are new to Jdate, so for both of them, I'm one of their first dates. Maybe this is why they both actually told me "You look just like your pictures." But you know what? That's a relief! Because I've never been sure that I didn't just put up really flattering pics, and then in person perhaps have disappointed.

Because I'm picky-slash-careful, it's been AGES since I've had me some loving. To now have two hot men on the possible roster? Gives a girl reason to smile, eh?

--Cute Jewess

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


  • No call from HOTNESS. However, email from Hotness, asking when I am free again. I suggested a day (via email), so we'll see what happens. Dude, just pick up the phone. Still at this point, all I know is that I'm very physically attracted to him. We'll see if this goes anywhere beyond that.
  • Tonight's date confirmed with Original Sporty whom, if nothing else, likes animals and seems easy on the eyes. Not expecting much, but then, I wasn't really with Hotness either.
  • There's another dude I've been chatting with who seems pretty cool, and whose personality seems to be a good match for my own. But I realized something after he provided me with his last name, I googled him (duh, of course), and I found more pics of him online. He looks kinda like the FAF. Not sure what to think about that...
--Cute Jewess

Monday, March 17, 2008

I know I like a guy when I save his texts only to reread them and get a happy little tingle. Hotness texted that he'd call me tonight, so we shall see if he does indeed. Not that I'll be around--I have plans with Brill and maybe Best Friend too, and so Hotness will have to chat with my voicemail. The thing is, this is a busy week. I've kinda got no time for him. Tomorrow's another date, and Wednesday is a totally fun outing with a group of friends to plan a lovely weekend vacation in the woods by a lake--can I please get a tan? There should be canoeing too! Either Thursday or Friday may be free, but not both, so I will hope.

Ages ago I was corresponding with a dude I named Sporty. Since then, I've called one of my girlfriends Sporty (oops), and so original Sporty needs a new name. Because he's back. From outer space. I just walked in(box) to find him there get the picture. I fear I have little in common with Original Sporty, but we are supposed to go out tomorrow night, and I don't think it'll be a bad time. I'm corresponding with a couple other guys, too, so I'm not too worried about focusing all my j-attention on Hotness. It's possible I've been focusing a little mental attention on his amazing biceps. I do so love a good bicep.

Oh, I never reported back on Conan, did I? Single and I had a grand time. The show was a lot of fun, Conan is adorable in person and does a fun little warm up with the crowd. I got a free "Audience Member" Late Night t-shirt, and our seats were pretty close up. Neat! I did not get to meet our favorite associate producer, Jordan Schlansky, but I sent him a thank you email for an all around fun afternoon, and he sent a lovely little note back. We heart him.

So the question of today seems to be: Will Hotness actually call? I think yes--but then, it ain't like I haven't been wrong before.

--Cute Jewess

P.S. Awww, Hotness is sending me texts just because. If nothing else, I guess I've crossed his mind today!

PPS: Update: Nothing! No call. I'm not up in arms about it, but he did seem so adamant. So it's like--just say, "I'll call you," not "I'll call you at this specific time and if not that time then this other time."

Sunday, March 16, 2008

I've had 2 dates since I last wrote: Zoolander, and a new guy whom you'll meet after a fun story!

Loverville and I rarely overlap with the same dudes on Jdate. 1) We have different taste in men, 2) There's a small age difference which affects our search results--so we only overlap in searched jdudes by about a 5-year range.

However, recently we were walking and talking and she told me about a new jdude she'd been chatting with, and we had both had a similar experience. "He says he's from New York," she said exasperatedly, "but then it turns out he lives in the suburbs!" And I finished her thought for her: "But they're all, 'I work in the city, my friends are all in the city, blah blah blah.'" We had a good laugh about it. Oh, those lying suburban dudes.

Turns out we had both been talking about the same guy, Zoolander. He was one of the guys I've been talking to for ages, and Loverville had started talking to him too. They had a lunch date set. A lunch date set for the same day as my drinks date with the same guy. For a while, it looked like Loverville and I were going to date the same guy on the same day. By sheer coincidence.

Pretty far out, no?!

Honestly, once our date was set, Zoolander and I had a 2nd phone convo that made me pretty sure I didn't want to meet the guy anymore. But how to give up the fun of being able to say "Where do you go to lunch? Oh, my friend LV loves that place!" Or to have her say something like "Soooo, what are you up to tonight?" At the last minute, though, LV had to cancel her date with Zoolander, so there went our hilarious coincidence. And so starts the unpleasant part of the story!

Later, Loverville would ask me: Was he cute? And he was pretty cute, not bad. But definitely at least an inch shorter than he had said in his profile (isn't that always the way!?). From the beginning, he was very complimentary. He said I looked nice and seemed "very sophisticated." Now for me, "sophisticated" is that kind of distant politeness I fall into when I know a dude's not right for me. At some point this dude, who had seemed perfectly nice, if a bit on the annoying side, started telling a story. A racist story. Complete with derogatory accents. He was shocked when I didn't think this was the greatest story ever. In fact, at the end of the date he kept saying "It's a great story!" He then tried to kiss me goodnight. I gave him my cheek. So he tried again. Nu-uh, homey! I'm pretty sure I gave him the impression never to call me again.

Fast forward to my 2nd date of the week, with the new guy. I emailed him first, he emailed back soon after, and we had a back and forth of about 5 or 6 emails. When he asked me out before asking for my phone number, I figured Hey, why not. Can't be as bad as Racist Zoolander! So I took the risk. I dated the dude without talking on the phone first. Would I learn another lesson!?

When I saw the new guy, though, I was pleased. He was more attractive than his pics, and I confess I will call him HOTNESS. He is hot. Period. I'm thinking even Best Friend and Loverville, who've got different taste than my own, would have to agree. I'm pretty sure I was more physically attracted to him than any other jdate yet. He had these full lips, and when he'd take a drink, they'd get all shiny, and I kept thinking--I'd like to kiss those lips, please!

He's not my usual type. He's not the intellectual dork, the funny goofy cutie. He's built, but not too built. Tall, but not too tall. And he's a mover and a shaker. He works in a very connections-based business, much more people-smart than book-smart. But so what. He seems nice, gentlemanly, strong-willed perhaps, but not unreasonable. If I had to guess, I'd say he's a good guy.

We wound up sitting side-by-side, and HOTNESS would casually touch my shoulder or my leg, saying "Sorry," when he did, as if he'd crossed a boundary. But when I didn't look too upset, he got more bold. He put his arm around me, and gave an almost boyish giggle that was pretty cute. And yes, there was kissing.

He said he had a great time, and he's already texted me since the date. He promises to call to schedule another. God, I can't remember the last time I had a 2nd date! This is one I would look forward to. He seems like the kind of guy who'll call when he says he's going to call.

I'm not going to lie--I wanna see that shirt off, my friends.

Oh! And I almost forgot! To add to the week of coincidences, HOTNESS asked me out to the same place I'd gone with Racist Zoolander! So when we got there, the bartender was like, "Weren't you guys here last week?" I widened my eyes and shook my head. "No, I don't think so!" If I had been able to corner the bartender without HOTNESS there, I would have eased his confused expression with a quick "Yeahhhh, different guy." But the moment never arrived :-)

--Cute Jewess

Monday, March 10, 2008

This week will be my exciting journey to see Conan O'Brien, care of our favorite Associate Producer, Jordan Schlansky. I'm bringing my dude friend, Single, who can be a blast to hang out with and who very much enjoys live comedy. Often he has crazy stories, featuring lunatic dating antics, so I will plan to be amused on all fronts. Single is one of my few guy friends whom I feel I can run anything by for the male perspective. Although I'm not sure he'd relish this description, he's like my dude girl-friend. But in case I ever divulge this blog to him, I will also add: My what guns you have, Single. We can obviously see that you work out.


I can't help but bring this item to you, despite the fact that I enjoy neither Sanjaya nor Long Island bat mitzvahs. I usually find The Idol quite annoying, but how can you not be tickled by this recent Newsday headline? "Former 'Idol' Contestant Sanjaya Performs at Woodbury Bat Mitzvah." But if that isn't enough to touch your fancy, get a load of the photo caption, "Sanjaya Malakar gives a hug to Rachel Lader of Woodbury after they both get their hair cut and styled at nuBest Salon and Spa in Manhasset."

My fave part is this scintillating graph: "He did sit back as his famous hair was handled by at least three stylists including Jamie Mazzei, who trimmed 2 1/2 inches and worked with a razor to 'accentuate the natural curl.' Stylist Glen Davis tried out a version of Malakar's "faux hawk," but Malakar's publicist nixed it, saying it was 'old Sanjaya.' He left with a classic free-floating mane courtesy of salon owner Michael Mazzei."

Clearly Long Island's finest thirteen-year-olds deserve better than "old Sanjaya." I thank Newsday for its detailed reporting.

(And, okay fine, the girl gets kudos for donating her gifts to charity.)

--Cute Jewess

Friday, March 07, 2008

Does this make me a bad person?
Often on the Jdate, I'll get an email from a dude who is so much less attractive (or so much older, or all Beardy McWeirdy) than I am, that I can't help but think right off the bat: "Really? You think we're going to date? On what planet?"

I know, how bitchy does that sound? Honestly, this says more about how unattractive the dudes are than how attractive I may be. And yes, at heart I do believe in the "What's to lose" mentality and think that people shouldn't be shy about emailing others on dating websites. But still, sometimes I just feel like, come on now!

Wanna hear about my new bag? I went outlet shopping with my aunt, and I desperately needed one thing: A going-out bag. I have none. Mine are all too big. The bag would have to be petite, hot, and easily carried at the bar. Also, cheap. Very cheap. First I found one at Target that would do if it had to. It was a faux-leather black clutch with a wrist-band. It was good enough (eh, it's dark at these bars), and only about 14 bucks, so I got it. But then at one of the outlets, I saw this other bag. It was like the angels were singing to me. This bag had the kind of handle I like, was the perfect size, sleek and hot, and there was one left in butter soft black leather (the others were purple and white leather, ew). My aunt and I went to return the first cheap0 Target purse, and I became the happy owner of my perfect new going-out bag at the sweet outlet discount price of $30.

Happy girl am I.
--Cute Jewess

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Whirlwind, whirlwind, whirlwind! That's how I'll describe the next couple weeks. Lots of plans invovled! When to schedule the three dates I've got waiting? I've reached out to 2 of the 3 guys to see if they want to reschedule, so we'll see how that goes.

Boy have I gotten out of shape. Tonight will be my first gym class in a while, and if recent physical activity is any indicator, oh my God I am going to be dying. I expect to lose my entire store of breath within the first 10 minutes.

Saturday night will be out with Loverville (hmmm, maybe I can persuade Best Friend to come out too), so let's hope for some juicy stories to report.

--Cute Jewess