Saturday, December 29, 2007
Then he ends the night with a cheek kiss and a "Nice to meet you." That's literally the equivalent of saying "I had a fine time, but I won't call you."
And I liked this one.
Hell, I'd even just fool around with him I think.
But maybe that wouldn't be the best idea anyway. Okay, the full story another time!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Another dude I emailed wrote me back--I'll call him No Smile, because he won't in his pics. Loverville would say to be wary--she's big on teeth. But he's tall, cute, and seems decent. Only problem? He doesn't live in Manhattan. Cutting right to the chase, No Smile asked me, "Hey, let's have a drink in my area." Ummm...no. We've been over this, folks. The girl takes more time to get ready, has hair and makeup to do, and she wears more uncomfortable shoes. Who do you think I expect to travel? Besides that, it's just the gentlemanly thing to do. So instead of writing back, Sure! Let's do it, I wrote--why don't you come to my neck of the woods?
I wasn't sure what No Smile would write back. Was his invitation a test to see if I would come to his parts? I would. Just not on a first date. But to my surprise he was just lovely about coming to my area. So we've got a date set for this weekend. Nothing I'm too invested in, but I think that's the best way to go into it.
Get ready for another Jshrimp on the barbie, folks! Yeah, I don't know what that means either.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
I emailed 3 dudes on the Jdate, one of whom read the message a couple hours ago with no response (yet), which is a shame because he seemed to have a great personality. Also, I was invited to chat with a guy whose pic I'd seen on the site before but never clicked on because he just didn't look my type. Not quite a guido, but with certain guido-y aspects. I'll call him Boro, since he grew up in the boroughs. Turns out his profile was well written, and he seemed like a decent enough guy, so we had a bit of a chat. We'll see if he gets back in touch, though he seemed to want to.
There's been lots of texting/emailing with the FAF lately. For those of you who might not remember (it's been so long since I mentioned him!) that's the Former Almost Fiance. Although I remain certain we're not a romantic match, I still have caring feelings for him, and I'm glad to say we're becoming true friends. We'd always stayed in touch to some extent, and I hope things continue to go well with our new relationship.
But after my dating hiatus, I am so ready to continue dating more. So bring it on, Jdate. Just remember douches need not apply :-)
Monday, December 24, 2007
Sooooo I arrive on time (as usual) to the upscale lounge where I am to meet Pompous. I may not have recognized him, I'll admit. He didn't look like his pictures--definitely not as cute. But still, he was an attractive enough guy. Who wore his jeans belted high on his waist. Loosen up a bit, buddy. Erm, okay...
Actually, the fact that he wasn't unapproachably good looking could have been a plus in my book. However, the conversation just never flowed. We do share a similar sense of humor, and we were able to quip and talk just fine, but some kind of connection was missing. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's any fault of my own. Pompous seems somewhat lacking in the personality department--though I do get the feeling he's one of those people you just need to get to know better.
I don't think I'll get the chance.
I would have gone on a second date with Pompous, but I'm expecting him to call like I'm expecting the Spears family babies to grow up well-adjusted. Pompous pulled the "I'm tired" line, and he left with a "Nice to meet you."
It's a shame, because I do think we might have warmed up to each other, but I'm not too broken up about it. I didn't feel a massive connection either. Perhaps it was too much to hope for this soon back on the Jdate bandwagon.
But do we Christmas Jew Bloggers browse Jdate on Christmas Day? Hey, sure why not? For now I'm cozying up with a TiVo movie and a frozen dinner. It's merry enough.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Or, if we do meet tonight, I'm trying not to seem like I might be more interested than he is, which could very well be the case. Whatever happens, there is no way I'm calling him if he said he'd do the calling.
Can you tell I'm still nervous?
Thankfully I will be wearing one of my two power-dresses (not sure which one yet), which always give me an extra boost of confidence and make me feel more attractive.
*A few minutes pass.*
Okay, I'm feeling less nervous. Less invested. And hell, I'm kind of tired. So if we don't go out tonight, that won't be the worst thing. But who knows how I'll feel in a couple minutes? :-)
UPDATE: Place set. Dress chosen--it's Hottest Guy I've Ever Slept With dress, and it's hot. Shoes, accessories all ready. Cute Jewess is gonna look her finest tonight. But will she be interesting? Funny? Not too reserved? I haven't been this excited about a date in a long, long time. Wow--consulting my date notebook, it seems I haven't been truly into a guy since Big Smile, which was late August. For goodness sake--no one I've been really into and y'all are still reading the blog? Must be for the horror stories, then, eh?
Friday, December 21, 2007
I called Eager, and we spoke. He explained he had just been so taken with my photos, and Jdate is "addictive," and so he apologized for coming on strong. We had one of those conversations that's not bad, but not brimming with sparks. He asked a lot of questions, which is not my preferred way to get to know someone. I'm more of a "let's just talk" gal than a "Q&A" gal. I think Eager purposely didn't ask me out on the phone, to seem less eager. I left the conversation thinking that if he got in contact again, I'd meet him. And if not, then I would be entirely non-broken up about it.
As to Pompous? Oh, Pompous. He seems more perfect every day we email. He actually makes me laugh via messages--not an easy feat. He's super successful, tall, has great pics, shares similar interests to me, and hasn't seemed so pompous lately...Of course now I'm going through the "Oh God he won't like me in person" anxiety. I emailed my friend Single, a single dude who online dates a lot, and I asked if he'd mind looking at my profile pics and telling me if they're representative. I assured him that my ego could take the truth. According to Single, "I think they’re great pics, and entirely representative. They also show '[CJ] is cute, as you can tell from the pics, but also obviously up for fun.' And you’re smiling in the pictures, which is always a good thing."
So whom am I going on a date with tomorrow? Oh, you guessed already didn't you? Pompous and I are meeting, and I am nervous!! I'll probably break out a dress for the occasion. I have a couple stand-bys that are very figure flattering. One of them Best Friend remembers as the Hottest Guy I Ever Slept With dress (he first saw me from behind, in the dress, and according to Best Friend, who was watching his face, he enjoyed the view). I've had it for about 7 years! The other stand-by is also about that old, but dudes still seem to love it.
Now I just have to be as charming as can be and remember all the things I tell myself about relaxing, being myself, not too uptight, not too guarded, etc. etc.
Most of all, I'm looking forward to it.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
I know the "best" thing to do is just not respond. To vanish. I know that's what would be in my best interest. But...oh, I just can't. I wouldn't feel right about it. He's just so eager, and doesn't seem like a bad guy, just one who can't control his impulses. To stop now would seem so...mean.
But I also couldn't let things go on like this. I let Eager know--as tactfully as I could--that he was coming on too strong. Eager replied something very sweet. Honestly, if he'd just cut his emails in half I wouldn't be so wary. I let him know I would return his phone message when I was able, and I will hope he doesn't contact me again before then. So that's where we are with that.
Trust me, if it comes to a date, it will be in my neighborhood and somewhere very populated. Perhaps even a place where I know the bartenders in case I need to send an S.O.S. If nothing else, I may have to work out a plan with a girlfriend to call me in the middle of the date with an "emergency."
I'm seeing Best Friend tonight for the first time in ages!! Exciting. It'll have to be an early night, though, because I've gotta get home to bake cookies for the Shrink. Ha. The life of a single Jewish NYC girl during the holidays--of course that would include cookies for the shrink! :-) Actually, I'm seeing him about once a month now, and I'm not sure I have much to talk about. Still, whenever I do start seeing a dude(s) again, I think it'll help to have him around. So count me as mostly well-adjusted, with a possibility of spazzing in the future.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
When was I under him?
Last night I emailed three guys, whom I will rank in interest as 1, 2, and 3. Within minutes of contacting them, 1 and 3 wrote right back. And they said that ancient oil lasting 8 nights was a miracle.
Both 3 and 1 deserve nicknames. 3 I will call Eager. Because Oh. My. God. Here's the thing, though. He's smart, cute (at least from far away pics--hmmm), writes well, keeps in shape...there doesn't seem to be much wrong with him. So why has he written me 6 emails for the 2 I've sent him? Right away, he wrote me 2 emails. Then another hours later to ask if he'd scared me away. And then another when I didn't write back right away again. Yikes! Clearly he is not adhering to typical online dating email ettiquette. But also, clearly, he really likes my profile, as he's told me several times. And I tend to like it when guys express interest. So, despite the feeling of "yikes," I will consider Eager a definite maybe.
Then there's 1. Oh, 1. He's handsome, well educated, funny--we both have that dry sarcasm going on. But I think I've got to name him Pompous. His email back to me puts him (in my mind) in that category of guys who know what they've got and are eager to let you know it too. But there are worse sins. And the humor. And the looks. And the success. (In that order.) It's enough to keep on communicating to see where it goes. If the email pomposity gets worse, however? Then I'll reconsider.
So we'll see! There are more guys I would contact, but I haven't delved in completely yet. Too much work to do before the end of the year. Better get crackin'...
Sunday, December 16, 2007
So I go to Brill's holiday party, and I see lots of Brill and her fiance's friends, whom I don't get to see often at all, but whom I've known for years. So there's the hi, the catching up, the wine, the food, the normal chit chatty holiday party stuff. Best Friend stops by the party for what she'd call "a hot minute," and I feel great just seeing her--it's been a while! So lah di dah, party going along swell.
EXCEPT. Flirty High Guy, can you just leave me alone? Please? I was working what I was calling the "Zone of Safety" at the party. Any time I'd see FHG, I'd go to the kitchen and declare it a safety zone. Or I'd find a friend and hide behind him or her. FHG? Was in rare form. Kicking chairs around, dropping food and drink everywhere--even once forcefully spewing a bottle of water all over the floor. Lovely, no?
And oh, it gets better.
Last year around this time, Brill, her fiance, and a big group of some of the people at the party went out to dinner. I was at the far corner of the table seated with (why?!) FHG and another dude I'll call Sweet Pea--because he's a sweetheart of a guy, and small. I had forgotten that FHG and Sweet Pea were trying to get me to "choose" one of them throughout the night. Apparently I was very diplomatic and said they were both fine in their own ways but I would decline the option. You know, something like that.
At the party, Sweet Pea was being perfectly charming in the way a guy will flirt when he knows nothing's really gonna happen. "So, what would it take, CJ? Flowers? Do you like flowers? What have your boyfriends done to win you over?" Then FHG comes over and starts the whole "You have to choose one!" mandate again. If you don't choose, you're boring! You have to choose! Yeah, I go to the Zone of Safety.
Throughout the night, there would be more conversation with FHG when I couldn't avoid it, and I was perfectly diplomatic--this is Brill's fiance's very good friend after all--but really he knew he was being a jerk, and I just kind of shrugged it off. Such as:
FHG: Can I have naked pictures of you?
CJ: Nope, can't say that's gonna happen.
FHG: Oh come onnnn, why not?
CJ (sarcastically): Guess you'll just have to imagine.
FHG: No, that's what the pictures are for. So I can imagine having sex with you.
FHG: Why do I get more and more attracted to you?
CJ: Because I keep saying no.
FHG: How about you stay over my place.
Yes, FHG was drunk as hell, but he's also kind of just like this.
Toward the end of the party, there's just a few of us, including Gentleman, Brill's fiance's friend from out of town whom I also know and like hanging out with. Brill and Fiance suggest heading to a bar nearby, and we do. So it's 3 gals and 3 guys, including FHG and Sweet Pea. I sit near Brill, and we've got a wobbly table full of drinks and candles.
As soon as I saw FHG coming, I blew out the candles. Homeboy's a fire hazard. He leaned on the table, nearly sending all the drinks flying, and I was just getting pissed. Enough already. "Come on, FHG," I said, "Just sit down." FHG grabbed my glass of wine and swirled it around, getting wine all over the stem for me to hold. "That's great," I said sarcastically. I had been pleading with him to just put it down. But no, he has to pick it up again and procede to spill--in full 3D flying arc motion--the glass all over my dress.
I was not happy, but I wasn't yelling yet. "Can you please go get me some napkins," I said in a very annoyed voice. Brill looked to her fiance, but he shrugged. "What am I gonna do, kick him out?" Ya know what, Fiance? Yes. Kick him out. Or at least say to him, "Hey, why don't you leave CJ alone buddy." But of course Fiance was drunk too, if perhaps not as gone as FHG. Still...
Gentleman leaned over from his corner of the table and said to me "You forgot about the Zone of Safety!" So there was readjusting, and the group made sure I was on the other side of the table from FHG.
Except. EXCEPT! FHG jumps onto the friggin' wobbly table and lunges toward me to...I don't know what! I felt like I was about to be physically attacked. "What are you doing!?" I yelled. "Get down! What are you doing!?" The people in the bar around us watched in stunned silence. Nice, right?
I had to leave. Even though I was enjoying hanging with the other people--whom I rarely get to see--I couldn't take another second around FHG. As I got up, Sweet Pea protested. "No, CJ, don't go. He's just being like that because you're patient."
"Oh, I'm not patient," I told Sweet Pea. "I was patient."
I grabbed my coat and headed toward the narrow passageway out of the bar, except smack in the middle of it is FHG. I visibly cringed. Gentleman must have seen it from the table, because he came over and said, "May I escort you out?" Love him.
Oy. My nerves were completely rattled. I couldn't get a cab--!!--and wound up walking the 15 blocks home in my uncomfortable boots. Not so fun.
The next day I got a call from Brill saying she was "horrified" for what FHG had done but that "He's more horrified." Apparently he'd asked for my email address to write me an apology. Brill tactfully suggested FHG send the email to Fiance, who would forward it to me. I do not want to give FHG any easier way of contacting me, that is for sure.
For Pete's sake. Remember when my drama involved wondering if some Jdate boy was going to write me back? No worries--I'll be signing up again soon. If only to avoid the crazies in Real Life!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Now, this is unusual for me. I feel anger, don't get me wrong, like any human being, when someone is being absolutely and appallingly rude. And yes, I have been known to tell those people off. But I haven't been in a physical fight since I was 12 years old. That might have been before I even knew Best Friend, my oldest friend. The dude was a bully. I couldn't stand him. He was so mean to me. And one day, I swung around when he was behind me, and I punched the sucker in the stomach. Hard. He doubled over. And homeboy never bullied me again.
So Rude Blonde Girl From The Bar, don't play with me. Because I will punch a ho. Just not in my friend's bar.
Okay, probably not anywhere. But wow, if this is what dudes feel on a regular basis, then I can kind of understand how fist fights start. So I will go to sleep now. And I will still want to punch that bitch. But yes, I will be glad that I did not.
I may have flicked her in the face. But she started it.
Monday, December 10, 2007
I broke the seal and logged onto Jdate for the first time in several weeks. And I found at least 4 guys whom I would in theory get in touch with. So now I'm feeling the itch to return to the realm of the dating on the internet. Keep in mind I'm short on time this month, and the last thing I need is a distraction from work right now. So the smart, sensible, rational thing to do would be to wait until January. And yet...oy...I'm very suddenly finding it hard to wait!
At least I'll wait until this Friday. That's Brill's boyfriend's annual holiday party. Last year I figured there would be tons of cute guys to flirt with. Eh, not so much. I wound up being accosted by--and barely being able to run away from--Flirty High Guy. Oh please let him have a girlfriend this year!!
I'd better stay away from Jdate right now or I know I'm signing that shit up again.
Back to work I go!
Sunday, December 09, 2007
It's not that I haven't been busy--God, I've been busy--but eh, I haven't had much room for guys lately. Okay, so there was that cute as hell, young as hell bartender I flirted with at Good Friend's recent gathering--but it's not like it went anywhere. Although Mr. X was at the shindig too, and he kept coming over to poke me or hold my arm while I was chatting with Hot Young Bartender...
Ah, I need to catch you up there, don't I? Just about the time I decided I wasn't really attracted to Mr. X, he asked if we could be friends. Score! Let's just say he had some big red flags hovering around him--and funny enough when I talked about them with Good Friend, she totally agreed. But Mr. X is still a swell guy, and fun to hang out with. It's just that now when he tries to be all touchy feely, I pull away, and he spits out an awkward "Sorry." He remains fond of complimenting my body. Often. Good Friend says if this makes me uncomfortable I should say something--and in truth I probably will.
I expect to return to Jdate in January, which will no doubt spice things up here. The flirting well hasn't quite dried up--I still chat up a dude in a bar now and then. Last night it was a punk-rock type who looked like Sylar from Heroes and had beautiful eyes. I wasn't really interested, but I'm trying to keep the flirting wheels from getting completely rusty and unturnable, ya know?
Oh, it's Hanukkah, isn't it? I haven't been lighting candles or anything, but certainly I can pull a graphic out of my blogger ass for you, no? Look! It's just the same as the real thing.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Duh, dudes. Obviously you're supposed to be reading our minds and catering to our every whim on a regular basis. It's so easy!
Yeahhh, see, after our first date-not-date, once I was reassured by Good Friend that she was cool with whatever might happen with X, I remember I emailed X that we should hang out again. I was still feeling iffy, though. I'm not sure why--so I remember emailing something along the lines of "We'll just hang out and see what happens, no pressure."
So, um, I specifically asked X not to pressure me. Of course, that little bit escaped my mind--or rather, took a back seat to my later wish for him to just ask me out on a real date already. Methinks I might have to do some nudging. Knowing me, I'd just say "So, wanna ask me out to dinner?"
But then, that's probably better than wearing a sign saying "Now accepting moderate amounts of pressure."
By the way, as for Thanksgiving?
I. Am. Still. Full.
Also, I got this fortune cookie recently and it made me smile, so I will now share:
"Lucky you. Get out your party clothes. The clean ones."
Thus ends Random Blog Moment of the Day,
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
I'm not sure what's going on with Mr. X. At this point, I'd like him to just ask me out on a date. He texted me this weekend, but nothing much came of it. It's possible I gave him the impression that I wouldn't date him--because of Good Friend. I'm not stressed about it--just bored, I think, and ready for some juice to blog about :-)
Ah, but there is one thing! I had to look back to see what nickname I gave him--approrpiately, it was Halloween Boy. HB emailed me back recently, weeks after I emailed him--just chatty, nothing to be terribly excited about. But oh, do I think he's cute. I'm wondering how to finagle a meeting with him. Loverville and I were considering planning an "Everyone We Know" happy hour--might be something fun for the new year.
In the meantime, however...
Have a great Thanksgiving!!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
"I have to find that perfect [CJ] zone between being nervous/uptight and a bit too tipsy. Basically, the me you know :-)"
Ex-Who-Needs-New-Name....hmmm, what about just X? Kind of mysterious, that. Or Mr. X? X-Man? Anyway, X has definitely cooled off his pursuit. But that's okay for now. It's funny--when he was texting me up the wazoo I remember thinking (gently) "Okay, enough for now!" Ha, and when I didn't text him back once--only because I thought our correspondence had reached its natural end--he texted me back a few minutes later, "Where'd you go?" So maybe it's a good thing that he's cooled off a bit.
I do think we'll hang out again next week or the week after. I've got to work on not being nervous--which sometimes makes me seem more uptight than I am--and yet also not falling into the easy let's-just-drink-more trap. Although, some drinking will be fine, thanks.
But apart from that, what do I feel about him? Truth be told, I still don't know. All I know is that I'd be interested in getting to know him better. Something about him makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable. Not when I'm with him--but afterwards, when I think about him. I'm not sure what it is--more research will be needed. Talking to Shrink about it wouldn't hurt. I've been seeing him less often lately, but he still has the dandiest advice.
I am so psyched for this weekend. I'm getting to see a friend I rarely get to see, but whom I just love. I'll call her Creative. She's one of the most creatively talented people I know and just an all around cool, great chick. She's having a huge party, involving themes and dressing up and makeup. Fun, fun, fun.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The commenters from last post were right, and I know it--but it's still so hard to resist getting in touch! So here I am resolving to let Ex (hmmm, he's gonna need a new name...) get in touch first next time around. He did email back, and he expressed interest in hanging out in the future, but no plans were made.
I've got to let him make the next move to make plans.
No texting! No emailing! Peoplies, write me every day--hell, every hour--here if you want to remind me.
In any case, I've got a full weekend coming up, so homey would've had to wait until next week to hang out again anyway.
Ok, I'll spare you the details and email quotes from my talk with Good Friend and paraphrase. She has assured me about a million times that she would be okay with me dating Ex. Not only okay, but that she'd be happy that two of her "amazing," "smart," "witty" friends found the same in someone else. How sweet is that? It really warmed my heart, and made me feel so much better about the whole situation. After her millionth assurance, I said I'd shut up about it now, and that I'd leave it in her court to ever mention if she feels uncomfortable about it in any way.
So, easy, you think. Right?
Ex and I started emailing and texting on a regular basis. Adorable things from him, all flirty and sweet. I was probably less flirty, more reserved--but I felt I'd need to see him again to figure out how I feel. I'd need to see for one thing if I were still attracted to him when sober. But more, I'd have to see him without the mental/emotional block in place. I was so intent on not looking at him as a possible romantic interest before, that I'd need to be around him again while thinking it's a possibility to know how I felt.
But in the meantime: Text, text, text. Email, email, email. Whatever I sent, he zoomed right back.
Then I saw him again.
And I like him.
Don't get me wrong, we have differences. He's adventurous, spontaneous, open to anything. I'm...not so much. I know, I know. I can be a bit tightly wound--most often around someone I don't feel completely comfortable with. And when you're realizing you like a guy? It's hard to feel comfortable around him--at least for me. So on our second "hang-out" that could've been a date, but maybe was or wasn't a date--I have a feeling I came across as pretty darn repressed.
But still. We ended the evening with a goodnight kiss--longer than the "two-point-five" seconds he said I had allowed him before. I texted him after I got home. (On our first "hang-out" he had been the one to text afterwards--a sweet message I've still got saved.)
He texted back the next morning. It was...fine. I mean, I think it was fine. Just not as effusive as before. Then I emailed. I asked if he wanted to hang out again. He hasn't written back yet.
This was a dude who was writing me back 5 minutes after I emailed him before. Now it's been a couple hours. If I had to guess--I would honestly think he wants to be my friend right now. Just as I've decided I'd like to see if we're compatible as something more.
So, you see? For fuck's sake.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
I got to our designated meeting place on time, and Ex was already there. He rushed to help me take off my coat and instantly offered to buy me a drink. My eyes probably went a bit wide, and I'm guessing I went into emotional pull-back mode. This did not feel like a friendly hang-out. But I remembered what Good Friend had told me. That women can think he's interested in them when he's just being his "usual, charming self." But he kept complimenting me. Little things, but I don't know--I just got the sense that he was thinking this might be a date, or perhaps lead to one in the future.
I honestly can't quite remember what I was thinking at the time. Mostly, what was going through my head was, "Don't think of this guy as a dude. Think of him as Good Friend's Ex." I probably seemed somewhat uncomfortable. But then, I was. So I figured we'd go to a spot that's one of my "regulars" where I knew people, and where I felt sure we'd have an easier time just "hanging out."
That's when I had too much to drink. I hadn't planned on it, but I realize now I probably hadn't eaten enough beforehand. Then Ex kept ordering another round when I would have been ready to stop drinking. As will happen with the booziness, I loosened up. Ex sensed this, I'm sure. He asked me about our "date that's maybe not a date but maybe is a date." I hung my head, avoided looking him in the eye, and told him it wasn't a date, just hanging out. It couldn't be a date, because he was my Good Friend's Ex.
Ex protested that he and Good Friend had been "just friends" for a very long time. But I still hedged, and he relented. "Ok, we can just hang out," he said. "Are you having a good time?" I said that I was. "That's all that counts," he said.
But the hours kept on passing. Yes, hours. The date-not-date would last six and a half hours in total. At some point, he started telling me that I was "sexy." And meanwhile, I had learned that the guy is just a sweetheart. Kind, smart, passionate about what he does. If we had been on a date, it would have been a pretty fun date.
But when, at the bar, he kissed me, I pulled back. My head was fuzzy enough that I wanted to kiss him back, but not so fuzzy that I was ready to jeopardize a friendship over it.
He walked me home. And he kissed me again. And for a minute, I kissed back.
Then I pulled away, shoved the key in my lock, and yelled "Bad!" at him. I quickly forced the door shut behind me.
Minutes later, Ex texted me a very sweet goodnight, and said he looked forward to seeing me again.
I didn't text back.
Stay tuned for Part 3, in which I tell Good Friend everything the next day!
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Sometime not long ago, Good Friend Whose Identity I Will Not Reveal had a lovely get-together for some of her closest friends. What a fun night! With food, much wine, and excellent company. At this party was Good Friend's Boyfriend. Also present was an ex of hers, who has continued to be a friend these past 10 years since they ended things. But whom I still knew as "her ex."
At some point, Good Friend's Ex and I started chatting. We found we had similar tastes and hobbies in common, and when I told him I was shy, he wouldn't believe me. "You're so dynamic," he said. By the end of our conversation, he had told me in a roundabout way that he thought I was cute, and in a very direct way (more than once) that he thought I was cool. I left the party thinking--hang on a sec. Good Friend's Ex was totally just flirting with me. Weird. But before I realized that, I had agreed to get in touch with Ex to hang out--since we enjoy certain of the same activities. I wouldn't have thought of it as a date at all--and in fact, I was already planning to invite others along--as I'd told Ex I would.
Now, I know you will feel me on this. How horrible--painful, sticky, downright torturous--can it be when a dude gets in between a close friendship? Having that happen was the farthest thing from my mind. I emailed Good Friend the next day: I got the sense that [Ex] might have been digging me a bit. That felt kinda weird--he's your ex-boyfriend. [I said I'd invite him to hang out.] But would that be considered a "date" thing? I'd be asking as a "friend" thing.
You might be thinking--did I think Ex was cute? Yeah, I did, but honestly (I swear!) the idea of him being any kind of option romantically was so far from my mind that I didn't even wonder if I would be interested in him. So I felt toward him pretty neutral--he was Dude Switzerland.
Good Friend emailed back that Ex had been her friend way longer than he was her boyfriend, that she didn't imagine them getting back together, and that she didn't "think" she'd have a problem with us dating. STILL. Not "thinking" it'll be a problem isn't good enough when you love your friend. And STILL I just wasn't thinking about him that way, because of their history.
Some days later, I figured I'd get in touch with Ex to hang out, so Good Friend and I emailed about him again. She said, and I'll paraphrase, that Ex tends to seem flirty when he's just being friendly. He's naturally charming. He has lots of female friends. I got the sense she was telling me that perhaps I misinterpreted his intentions. That he wouldn't think it was a "date" if I asked him to hang out. So I made plans with Ex. I invited Good Friend, but she couldn't come. I invited another friend, but she couldn't come. So it would just be us two. Hanging out. As friends.
When I got back from my hanging out with Ex, I emailed Good Friend straight away: "yeahhhhhh, that was completely not meant to be platonic tonight. i am completely confused and at sea and just want to do what's best for you."
Stay tuned for Part 2!!
Sunday, November 04, 2007
As to my Friday night revelry with Sporty? Ha. I saw this dude who looked just like this Jdate profile picture. But, then, that happens. And you look twice, and you're like--nah, not him. This guy was definitely him. My back was turned to him most of the night, but Sporty said he kept on staring. She kept saying I should go talk to him. I think I emailed him not too long ago, and he never responded. Eh, if he's interested, he can email me. I wasn't that into him.
Our local hangout was filled to the gills with cute boys, none of whom came to talk to us. I wasn't feeling particularly outgoing that night, and neither was she. So we stuck mostly to ourselves. But we spit-handshake-vowed to be more flirty next time. I'll say, my local has some attractive guys in it on Friday and Saturday nights.
Okay, off to get crap done on this rather nice-weather Sunday afternoon!
Friday, November 02, 2007
Okay, not really. But I got a kick out of this email they sent me. Oh, Dr. Ruth, what sage advice do you have for a cute little NYC singleton?
Never fear. If my date's a total bust, I anticipate a fun, boozy night this weekend with Sporty. She's a firecracker, that one.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
This year I wound up downtown with Best Friend, and we spoke to several guys, none of whom were particularly exciting in the end. But we looked adorable (her boobies were very perky) and I enjoyed the venue. There's other stuff I could tell you, but I haven't finished processing it yet in my own head, and I think I will need to test the waters more before I report back. Perhaps this weekend, when Sporty and I will next be out on the town, I'll be able to give a meatier synopsis. It's possible...well...it's possible I might work on looking a bit more sexy. I might do up the eyes a bit more. Might check the wardrobe to see if I have something more alluring than my usual "cute" outfits. Nothing too overt. But mixing it up.
Also in the works for this weekend? Oy. I think I messed up again on the Jdate front. I made plans with a dude before talking to him on the phone. (I know, I know.) He seemed decent on email--we did the funny banter. Yeahhhhh then we spoke on the phone. I think he's a bit of a downer. Already I don't think we're a match, but ya know what? I'll keep the dating wheels greased and keep up the practice. I'll know not to expect much, which--I mean--I knew already. But now I really know. I received two calls this week, too, from Jdate dudes I gave my number to a couple weeks ago. Thank God I didn't pick up either of the calls because I had no idea who they were. A quick check of the email archives led to a couple "Oh, that guy" moments. I think I'll call one of them back, but honestly, they're both pretty eh.
I have a feeling I'll be taking a break from the Jdate when my membership expires. At least a couple weeks, maybe more. Gotta wait for some new profiles to pop up that aren't...dregs.
(And no, I'm not feeling particularly pessimistic about it right now, Debbie Downers of the world.)
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Getting ready, I was overall pleased with my Halloween costume. What surprised me most was the makeup--it actually looked good! I don't know that I could go that dramatic on a regular basis, but I think I might try to do more with my eyes in the future. Best Friend especially liked the eye makeup. Both LV and BF liked the red, red lips, but I don't know if I'm a red, red lip kinda gal.
The party with Host-I-Barely-Know was different than I expected it to be. For one, the apartment was smaller, so the crowd was naturally rather intimate. Also, more people had dressed up than I imagined--and there were full on trampy outfits too--so I felt comfortable in my costume. Loverville--man, she is good at meeting people. She could give lessons and make a fortune!
And there was this guy...and oh, how I liked him! He was cute, successful, and we had a lot in common. Also, I've gotten good at the casual touch on the arm or such while talking to a cute dude. And mmmmm, his arm felt good. Homeslice worked out. We talked for a good portion of the night, and then we would have parted ways with no phone numbers exchanged if not for some clever finagling from Loverville. But I got the sense that he wasn't interested in me, which is a shame. He didn't ask for my number, after all. And he seemed to want to dance with and talk to this Asian chick--who wasn't even that cute. If there's ever a group gathering or such, I might invite him, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
After getting nice and boozy at the party, Loverville and I met up with Best Friend at an underground, semi-secret lounge where she goes often, but I had never been. It was cuter than I thought it would be. Later, BF and I hit one more location. I found it rather easy, in fact, to talk to dudes. I met a couple nice (and interested) ones at the bar, and I was outgoing and charming. If I had wanted to get their numbers, I'm sure I could have, but eh, I wasn't feeling it so much. Also, um, there was this creeeeeeeepy older dude who would not stop staring at me. For. Real. It was disconcerting. At one point he said to me "That's a beautiful costume," and I just smiled, said thank you--without looking him in the eye--and then basically ran away. Still, the dude wouldn't stop staring. Yeah, that was appropriately Halloween creepy.
So, to recap: Costume was cute, makeup worked, met a dude I liked--duuuuude, why don't you like me?--who probably didn't like me back.
The end! For now ;-)
Saturday, October 27, 2007
1) I'm going to a party of someone I don't know very well. Not as the friend of someone who knows the person, but as the one who (barely) knows the person. So I'm nervous that everyone else will know the host well. That I'll be the only one in a somewhat "sexy-ish" costume, and so everyone will think I'm "that girl." That I just won't mesh well with the crowd.
2) I'm scared of my makeup. Meaning, I will be wearing a lot. Which I don't usually do. But it goes with the costume, and I did a "makeup test" before showering to make sure it all looked okay. I guess it does. But will it be pretty? Will it make me look weird?
3) I've been really looking forward to Halloween. Usually the more I look forward to something, the more disappointed I am when it doesn't meet expectations.
On the other hand! I'll be hanging out with LV and (later on) Best Friend, whom I both love. And some of Best Friend's friends. And maybe even HM (remember him?). Aaannnnddd I'll be able to booze it up for free at the don't-know-the-host's party, which is a big plus. Halloween be one expensive holiday.
When I tell The Shrink about my anxiety at parties where I don't know people well, he says "You can always leave." This is true. Trust me, I know there's nothing to be anxious about. And almost 100% of the time people can't tell I'm anxious.
I guess I just want everything to turn out great. And yes, meeting a guy to flirt with would be a big plus. And I want to feel cute.
Friday, October 26, 2007
About the costume: It is short. Very short. Mostly "cute," but the shortness throws in a bit of "sexy." I talked about this with BF and LV--I'm not usually comfortable looking overtly sexy. The dress on its own? Would be marginally within my comfort zone. But to make it a bit hotter, I got lacy thigh high stockings. THESE are hot. Consultation with LV and BF resulted in both telling me that the outfit is still tame by NYC Halloween standards, and so I'm going with it.
I will look hot, dammit. And I will drink enough to be comfortable with that.
--Cute (Hot?) Jewess
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Divorced never called like he said he was going to. Part of me thinks I should send an email to check in, and another part of me remembers that in his last email to me there were signs of douchiness. That's why I haven't bothered so far.
Halloween's coming up. Can I afford the super cool costume I saw in the window down the block? Probably not, but I'm going to check in on it anyway. I like to be cute and flirty on Halloween, I won't lie--but I draw the line at trampiness. Boobs will not be hanging out. Midriff will not be displayed. Upper thigh will be covered. No bunny ears.
Happy Tuesday, folks!
Monday, October 22, 2007
The thing was, we had planned to go to 2 places on our date. Note to self! Plan one place, then see how the date goes before agreeing to a Part 2. Because Part 1 would have been fine. Just have a good drink with some decent conversation, say thank you, and leave.
When Part 2 of the date happened, I realized something I hadn't been able to figure out during Part 1. (Non)Adorable (Not so much)Intellectual is a spitter. Yes, of the "Say it don't spray it" variety. This was not so fun. I had to force myself not to visibly cringe every time the dude opened his spitty mouth. If the place had been less crowded, I would have figured out a way to move my chair further away. Alas, 'twas not to be.
I need to become better at getting out of dates. He wasn't a bad guy, so I didn't want to be rude. And so our date lasted over 3 hours. Oy.
If AI were less clueless, he'd realize my body language was not inviting. He'd realize that when I didn't let him walk me home, it was a sign that I don't want to see him again. I fear he is indeed quite clueless. But if he doesn't call, then hey--I don't have to "let him down easy." So wish me luck that he actually gets it!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Yesterday I bought myself a special treat--one I've been wanting for ages. Excitement! And I still had cream puffs--surprisingly, the vanilla was much tastier than the chocolate. Usually I like both the same. When it comes to sweets, I generally do not discriminate.
Meeting AI tonight! He chose a bar I like, so that was a good sign. Now just add a little more charm, AI, and be as cute as your picture. What, that's too much to ask? ;-)
Saturday, October 20, 2007
So far, the weekend has been kinda a dud. Last night, I enjoyed hanging out with Sporty, but her neighborhood--where I'd never been before--was totally dead. Sooo...let's just say I'm not rushing to go back there. It's a hike, anyway!
Today I had been looking forward to traipsing around downtown with RH, shopping and eating cream puffs, but that's not gonna happen. I guess I'll head down on my own, since I've got errands to do.
Adorable Intellectual is supposed to call today...I hope he does! I have a feeling he might not be so cute in person--not sure why, just a hunch. But hey, maybe that means I'll be pleasantly surprised.
Let's hope the 2nd part of the weekend gets better!
Friday, October 19, 2007
RC texted me asking to hang out again--despite the fact that I offered him my cheek when he leaned in to kiss me at the end of our date. I'm so not feeling him. We will not be making further plans, but RC hangs out at my local--so if we run into each other? So be it. Doesn't mean we're dating. Or that he's getting any closer to a goodnight kiss :-)
Tonight, Sporty will be on a boy rampage, which should be a kick to watch. She goes after them hard! We'll see if her boldness rubs off at all.
Then tomorrow, RH and I plan to traipse around SoHo, which promises to be fun. I've got to pick up a couple things from Sephora. New makeup! Wheee.
Tomorrow night I'll be chilling with a new group of ladies, so we'll see if I make some new friends. And then Sunday night, I'll be meeting Adorable Intellectual. If nothing else, I don't think it will be a horror date, which is really all I can ask for at this point.
Have great weekends, people!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
An interesting tidbit from RH last night! She and I were walking home, and she told me she thought Wild Boy (our fave bartender) had a crush on me. Now, I don't personally think so--if Wild Boy has a type? I certainly can't imagine it's dorky Cute Jewess--but it was nice to hear that she thinks he has a soft spot for me, in whatever capacity it might be. It's nice to feel wanted at your fave local establishments! AND for the record, RH is beloved there too.
My Jdate story of the day yesterday? A guy contacted me, and I wrote back. He was cute, seemed like a decent (normal!) guy, so why not? He told me he thought my pictures were hot. I wrote back "What about my wit, charm, and smarts?" He clearly did not care to discuss my wit, charm, or smarts. Rather, he asked for "naughty pictures" of my "t*ts, hips and ass."
Rather than just not respond and risk hearing from Douchey Doucherton again, I sent back an "Um, no. Bye!" Douche.
I'm hoping to get to the gym tonight, then tomorrow's hanging in Sporty's neighborhood, where I haven't spent much time in the past.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
We've got a date set up for next week. Will we mesh in person or not? I can't say, but I'm looking forward to it.
Monday, October 15, 2007
He's got my digits now, and I think he'll use them. He's a cutie pie.
Divorced has not yet called, but I wasn't feeling him so much. And I've gotten a couple new worthwhile emails since I made myself more available on Jdate--one from a promising fellow who might earn a nickname soon. Ha. I just wrote "promising fellow." Hi, I'm 80 years old.
In general, my mood is improving, which is a relief. Peaks and valleys...peaks and valleys...
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Last night, Sporty (my girl friend, Sexist Commenter Who Assumed It Had To Be A Guy) and I went out for drinks. Now, Sporty is outgoing when it comes to guys. She's cut to the chase, kiss the guy in a bar, if he's not interested move on to the next. As you know, I am more shy. But around Sporty, with some cocktails in me, I can get a bit bolder.
So last night I spoke to a few guys. 1) Galoomf: I did not find him attractive; he approached me, we chatted for a bit, then he left. I found out that Sporty thought he was cute. I worked some magic to get them speaking--she kissed him. 2) Straight Laced: I initiated conversation, we chatted for a bit, and then a girl came to join him--she was wearing an engagement ring. 3) Retro Cool: Sporty started chatting with Retro Cool's friend, so he chatted with me. I could tell he was interested, and I was willing to give him a shot. After talking more, I found him to be smart, funny, and decent. I didn't think he was the most attractive guy I've ever seen, but he was cute enough to get to know better. Retro Cool walked me home and leaned in for a kiss. I gave him my usual (if rare) Cute Jewess kiss-for-someone-I-just-met: nothing too deep, but enough to show interest.
Retro Cool asked me to lunch the next day. We had lunch, and it was okay. The conversation was good enough, if not filled with instant spark. Again, he seemed cute enough and decent enough to get to know. I'd have gone out with him again. EXCEPT.
Dude works at a major financial institution. And he asked to split the bill.
I'm sorry, but if a guy asks me to split the bill on the first date, it almost always means I will not go out with him again. It just says "cheap" and "ungenerous." Those aren't qualities you look for in a guy. Especially if he works for one of the richest companies in the world! If you treat a girl to a first date, it doesn't mean you'll be treating her for the rest of your dating life together. It just means you're considerate. You're showing her you're a classy guy. Trust me, the bill wasn't even close to large.
So, buh-bye Retro Cool. He leaned in to kiss me goodbye, and I gave him my cheek. He leaned in again, and I kissed him more chastely than when we first met. Will that be enough of a signal that he shouldn't call me? We'll see.
Meanwhile, Adorable Intellectual isn't writing me back. I don't know why--we've had such nice email banter. But he's logged in several times to Jdate now over the past couple days with no word.
That sucks--I wanted to meet that guy.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
But I can tell you about the guy I briefly mentioned yesterday. I'll call him Adorable Intellectual. It's rare that a guy contacts me on Jdate that I like. This is partly my fault--I often choose the membership options that keep certain things hidden, like when I'm online, or when I view someone else's profile. So I'm not that easy to find. And yes, lately I've been changing this to be more findable.
So AI emails me, and I click on his profile. He's got a slightly dorky smile, nice dark hair. He looks like a good guy, and I think he's cute. I check the height--tall. He's successful, too, and seems to be looking for an intelligent woman. All pluses. AI is someone I would have emailed in a heartbeat--and I would say the best guy who's initiated contact with me on Jdate so far. So we start emailing, and I start waiting for him to disappear.
But so far...he's not disappearing. He writes long, funny, smart emails, and I return in kind. I imagine we'll speak on the phone quite soon. So let's hold out hope for Adorable Intellectual.
There's another guy on the Jdate radar, too. He'd be the first divorced guy I've ever gone on a date with (that I know of), so I'll call him Divorced (see how clever I am?). I've enjoyed corresponding with him, but we don't have the same email connection I feel with AI. Still, I think we'll probably meet, and at the very least talk on the phone.
Ah, and a third guy, but he seems interested only in sex. I dunno if that's something I'm interested in. He wants to talk...we'll see.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
The guys I'm writing on Jdate are mostly not writing me back. But there was this one guy--I'll call him No Match--oh, I loved his profile! He was good-looking, seemed sincere and kind, and was in a profession I find fascinating. I emailed him, and I was so pleased to see that he wrote me back, asking to talk on the phone.
Ouch. What a tough conversation. Dude had no sense of humor, and we have absolutely nothing in common. We both agreed we were not meant for each other.
See? The one guy who writes back? No luck.
On the upside, the other day I got an email from an adorable guy. I clicked on his profile. Something had to be wrong with him, the way my track record is shaping up. But no--it's a profile I would have contacted myself. He seems pretty great. We've started a conversation, but odds are it'll go nowhere. Remember--I'm being bitch-slapped by Lady Luck.
Another cutie contacted me today, but he doesn't seem to be looking for anything serious. Will I write back? Sure, why not. No harm in an email. Another email I got today was from an illiterate older man calling me "Sweetie," professing that I was his angel. Yeah, that one I'm gonna just let go...
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Last night I went out with Sporty, and I met the greatest guy. Oh, how I liked him! We started talking because, well, I was drunk. And thus bold. I had had 4 drinks, 2 of which were the strongest mojitos I think I've ever had. So Unfair Guy tells me his name, and it's such a "nice jewish boy" name, so I tell him so. Turns out he's Jewish. Around my age. Cute as anything. Even writing this makes me feel so disappointed...because this never happens to me! To flirt with the perfect guy! At a bar!
I said to him: If we're flirting like this, you better not have a girlfriend. He said: "I do. She's at home, sleeping."
He went on: "I love my girlfriend, but this is bad timing. Because you're cool, smart, and cute. I know how to find you, so remember my name. I might turn up in 3 months."
What a bummer is all I can say right now.
Except...I kinda screwed it up after that. Not that anything was going to happen anyway, but I have this tendency--especially when I'm drinking--to tease a guy. I don't know why I do it! Sometimes it comes off as flirty and coy, but sometimes it just seems obnoxious. And the thing is, I'm not bitchy at all! But it totally makes me seem bitchy. So at some point, I think he got offended and left. I have to remember to stop doing that!! Oh, the drink.
And oh, Unfair Guy. I liked you so.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Oy. The FAF sent me an email trying to cheer me up today. For the first time in ages, I wish he were around because I know it would be a comfort. I guess I just wish things were easier.
And I know I don't get to just wish that and--poof!--it happens. And I know that many, many millions of people are going through much more sh*t than I am. But still. I wish things were easier. And I'm allowed to wish it.
But I also believe things will get better soon.
There were fun moments this weekend--like a long, boozy, dance-filled night with RH and some friends. RH and I haven't gotten to see each other much lately, and we had a blast.
But then yesterday...oy. Yesterday I got hit by two more blows, the worse of which is a family crisis. I'm having trouble dealing with the family thing, but I'm off to see Shrink tomorrow, so maybe that will help. I'm not going to write about any of that stuff here, though.
Loverville had invited me to a shindig for that day, which wound up having some lovely moments. But my mood was just too dark. My stomach tied itself in knots, and I was sure I was about to throw up at some point, and so I knew I had to leave.
I doubled over on my bed when I got home--my stomach was just a mess. And some tears were shed. The cat jumped up and started purring. He rubbed me with his little head. They just know.
Really, the family thing is at the forefront right now, and I'm dreading dealing with it. So...bear with me. I promise that I want my stories to become fun again more than you do.
Update: Ack! And on top of everything, I am having the worst cramps today. Will curl up in bed for the evening now.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
There is drama in my life right now. Unnecessary drama being perpetrated by a friend whom I now know is my "frenemy." It seems like she's been harboring jealous resentment against me for months, and now decided to let it out in the most passive aggressive way--a group email--amongst all our mutual friends. Nice, huh?
Many of our mutual friends are now pissed at her for creating problems out of thin air and ruining a project we were all working on together. But it's been a big bummer, basically, to my already bummed out mood. This was someone I liked. Yes, she's moody and bitter. But she seemed to have a good heart and good intentions. Now I'm not so sure. Because she refuses to talk to me, I don't know if we'll resolve our issues. I'm thinking I don't even want to. The story is so long, and will involve many details I can't divulge (no matter what questions you may ask). But I'll try.
Background: Frenemy and I work in similar fields. She has had more of a struggle, while I have had more success. But I've given her lots of advice (only when she sought it out from me), that I know she's genuinely appreciated, and I've never been anything but super supportive. Here's the thing. She's also...oy. I hate to say this. But she's not a conventionally attractive woman. She's obese. She's got a stern expression. Several chins. Paired with what at times can be a surly, bitter personality. She's good at alienating people. Knowing this, I have always given her extra rope.
For instance, I first knew something was wrong between us a few months ago, when Frenemy, Sporty, Cheery Girl and I were having a fun dinner outing. Frenemy started to basically tell me she thought her work was more important/serious/valuable than mine, and that I've only had certain aspects of my success because this one guy thinks I'm cute. I can't tell you how condescending she sounded. Later, I would ask Sporty: Did I hear what I think I heard? Sporty was like: Um, yeah. But we decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. We agreed that her intentions couldn't have been bad. I let it slide.
Now, of late, Frenemy has twisted every single word out of my mouth as a personal attack. If I offered suggestions on the group project we were working on? She said I was trying to dictate everything. If I tried to make her feel better when she was down? I was lecturing. I only found all this out in a huge group email she sent to everyone about how I verbally attacked her. If you're wondering how my words can be so completely twisted and misunderstood, trust me, you're not alone. We're all wondering that.
The group started emailing each other (they would later tell me): What had they missed?
The answer was nothing. She was creating drama literally out of absolutely nothing. It is so frustrating to have someone put words into your mouth. AND, AND this was right after I'd seen Frenemy one-on-one for about an hour. She didn't say a word to me about being angry or upset. If she had? I would have been shocked, and I would have tried to figure how she could possibly misinterpret so much. Instead, she went home after hugging me good-bye, and wrote the email attacking me.
Our mutual friends all responded: WTF?
Sporty and Cheery Girl met with me that night and basically went to town on how unbearable Frenemy has been. How controlling she is. How they have to walk on eggshells around her. I told them: I would rather talk to Frenemy about this than discuss it behind her back. But she refuses.
Sporty looked me in the eye. "Don't you know you two are rivals?"
Me: "What? What would I have to be rivals with her about?"
Sporty: "You have what she wants."
In general, I'm getting better at not thinking everything is my fault. But with that comes a new level of anger in my life where there used to be guilt. Because I'm not stewing in anguish thinking "What could I have done to Frenemy?" instead I'm angry at her for going around thinking she's better than me, for picking fights, for ruining our fun group project.
The irony is that she's just so narcissistic. So while part of me would like to feel sorry for her, I can't. She thinks she's the best at everything and that the world just doesn't see it. I told Sporty, "But have you seen her work? Some of it's...just kind of blah." Sporty responded "If her work was as good as she thinks it is, she wouldn't need this attitude about it."
I've probably written too much here. I'm terrified someone in the group will find it. I've been too honest and open with my feelings. But when you can't talk to the person who's responsible for them? Well, I needed another outlet. So I'm taking my chances.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Last night, I popped out to Au Bon Pain to buy cookies. Because I decided not to go to the gym. And I love cookies. The winner? Hazelnut Dream. Go out and buy yourself an Au Bon Pain Hazelnut Dream cookie and thank me later. Unless, of course, you're fasting--in which case, oops, sorry.
If I can get in another post before Yom Kippur settles in, then I'll share with you my precious America's Next Top Model thoughts. If not, then I'm off tonight to Kol Nidre services, which will be my one appearance at temple these High Holy Days.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
No surprise, Hottie1 also has yet to confirm our date tonight, which will probably just not happen. If he doesn't get in touch, I will not contact him again.
As Loverville said, I knew these guys were flakey, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt. And then they just went and acted like themselves.
Here's what bugs me, though (okay, it all bugs me). I'm back to being shy in person around guys. It feels like I'm sabotaging myself. Last night, I went out with my girlfriend Sporto to my local bar. I got there before her, and had to wait a good 10 minutes or so on my own. The bartender, whom I know, said "I got two seats for ya right here, love," and I sat down smack down next to a cute guy. A cute guy on his own, who seemed to be doing some work. He was scribbling intently on paper. He was a lefty, which I find sexy.
So there we were, shoulder to shoulder. Cute Scribbler and me. I could have talked to him so easily. "Whatcha writing?" But I didn't. Furthermore, and Best Friend knows this for sure about me, my shyness comes off as aloofness. I give off a vibe that I don't want to be talked to. Because I feel nervous. So I looked the other way from the Scribbler, he went on working, and half an hour later, he talked to a pretty girl halfway down the bar from me.
I wish I could be more outgoing in those situations. Alcohol helps. But from now on I'm going to try to force myself to interact rather than isolate myself. And I looked cute last night too! The outfit I was wearing made me look particularly small waisted and busty. I must remember to wear it all the time.
Like, say, if I ever have a date again.
P.S. I am psyched about America's Next Top Model on TiVo!! I might have to do an entry on the premiere. That show is craziness.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
1) Drinks with Brill last night was depressing. Not seeing Brill--I love Brill--but basically everything else. First of all, I had no exciting news to share. No big developments over the past couple months to fill her in on. "I'm the same" somehow doesn't have quite a jolly ring to it.
Then there's her current predicament. She and her well-off fiance can't find an apartment they can afford in the city. They're looking for a 2-bedroom, 1-and-a-half bath. Reasonable, no? You'd think that's the least you need to settle down, start a family. At least, it's the least you'd want. "You have no idea what the prices are," Brill said. "No idea." So instantly, I started thinking how I'll never, ever be able to live in a decent apartment. Maybe even not in Brooklyn. Not the kind of apartment I'd want to live in.
Brill kept going on, until I couldn't bear it any longer. "Let's not talk about this," I said. She started to finish her sentence. "No--don't finish." She kept going. "Brill, if you love me, you won't finish your sentence." She kind of stopped then.
What next? Oh, she asked about the guys in my life, of course. And by the end of the night, she was saying "I'm worried about you."
2) Tonight's supposed to be Jackpot. I highly doubt it will happen. No confirmation yet, and he tends not to do personal correspondence at work. So what am I going to do--get all ready for the date and see if he calls me? Or just ignore the f*cker and sit on my couch all night?
3) Career. I've been working on a long-term project at work. I think it'll be successful, but I really, really can't be sure. In any case, it's going very slowly. And if it doesn't work out? I may have to look for a new career. What the hell would that be? I have no clue.
4) Wedding. One of my closest friends from college is getting married. In an expensive city that isn't this one. Will I be able to afford transportation/hotel along with gift? Not so much. Can I find a way? Dunno. But it's one more thing to worry about, and one more thing to despair that I can't afford. How fun is that?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tomorrow, I'm supposed to see Jackpot. Thursday, Hottie1. I am now somewhat excited about these two dates. However, I am still not convinced they will actually happen.
Tonight, I am wine barring it with Brill, whom I haven't seen in about two months. I miss Brill, so this will be fun. When I get home, will there be an email from Jackpot confirming our date? I do not know. Honestly, I'm thinking there's a 50/50 possibility here.
Hottie1 is supposed to call me some time before Thursday. Will it be tonight? Tomorrow? Never?
If neither of these dates happen? Well, we're back at April/May all over again.
Oh Jackpot. You are tall and goofy, and I think you're cute. Oh, Hottie1. You have yummy muscles and an intellectual bent--and I hope you're not all big ego-ed about it.
Please oh please let these dates actually happen!
Monday, September 17, 2007
I'm getting excited for Jackpot and Hottie1 later this week, which of course means at least one of them will cancel.
I'm seeing Brill tomorrow for the first time in months, and I'm totally looking forward. For now, though, I'm mostly just enjoying fall--my favorite season.
Friday, September 14, 2007
The brief low-down:
- SS: For those who don't remember, I liked him months ago, when we went on a few dates. He was just out of a really dysfunctional long-term relationship. He freaked out. We lost touch.
- Jackpot: I met him at a party months ago. I considered him "so my type." We emailed a bit but never cemented a date down, despite his professed interest.
- Hottie1: Months ago, I emailed a bit with this guy on Jdate--he remains to this day one of the best-looking guys I've corresponded with. I wrote this on the blog: "I'm still a bit scared of Hottie1. He's just so typically good-looking. AND also smart, funny, and--it seems--nice. He's the kind of guy I'd imagine has a line of women trailing after him at all times. I'm going to have to go for the big guns--my own intelligence and sense of humor--to distinguish myself among what must be a very large group of ladies." Hottie1 and I talked on the phone and had a great conversation. He called me again a few days later and left a message. I called him back and left a message. I never heard from him again. I emailed him once afterwards to try and get back in touch, with no response.
Fast forward months and months, and they all converge again.
SS: Lordy is he screwed up. And he seems to associate exclusively with people who are even more screwed up than he is. As Loverville said, "You're so right not to get involved with him!" Not that it was my choice, mind you. But...yeah.
SS and I had a lovely drinks time together. Can't call it a "date" because we're friends now, which is as it should be. He's a great guy at heart--and I enjoy being around him. But whew, issues! Still, to finally have some closure on someone I really liked...that feels good.
Jackpot: Ah, small town New York. I ran into him on the street. We started emailing again, and JP expressed his attraction to me: "You look delicious." We've got a date set for next week. He is a big old flake, though, and so I will only believe it when I see him in front of me, alongside a big old cocktail, thank you very much.
Hottie1: Out of the blue, I figured I'd give it one more try. I sent H1 one of my "confident emails," and he wrote back that he'd love to meet for a drink. I've been talking to Loverville about this a bit. He stokes my insecurities. Best Friend knows more than anyone what I was like as a teenager. I was not cute. I was not popular with the gents. I was smart and hilarious (duh). (And Best Friend, don't even challenge me on the hilarious part. You were there laughing!!) So anyway, the truth is that really good-looking guys intimidate the hell out of me. Luckily for me, Hottie1 seems to value smarts and wit as much as physical appearance--so point in my favor. But I'm going to have to work on feeling as cute as possible to overcome insecurity in the face of a hot guy. We've got a date set for next week. So far, he doesn't seem like he's going to vanish...but with these Jguys, you just never know.
I'm seeing Lanky tonight. I've forgotten about this date about twelve times now. I do like him, though. I'm just not sure how much. So we'll see!--Cute Jewess
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
It feels like I'm in a bit of a dating rut these days, but eh, whatever. I'm not caring too much. BUT indeed, at least one flash from the past will be returning, if not two. You'll have to be a long-time reader of CJTA to remember these gentlemen.
The dude I alluded to a few days back is Sexy Smart. (Best Friend knew him as Sexy Back.) We're going to try being friends. I miss him, truth be told. I think he's a decent person, and I'm willing to see what happens when we just hang out. If it doesn't work for me? Then I won't do it again.
The other blast from el pasto? Jackpot! Remember him? There's a whole convoluted story that I won't go into, but basically I met him at a party a few months ago, hearted him, and took a chance to see if I could keep him from vanishing. But vanish he did, until just a few days ago. We're working on scheduling a date.
Oh, and I have another date set up with Lanky. Which I almost forgot about. So, yeah, he gets one more chance, and if I'm not feeling it, then I'll just let him go.
Okay, so technically I realize this might not sound like a dating slump. But there's no one I feel particularly excited about.
Still, at least there's blog fodder :)
Monday, September 10, 2007
Mr. Chill must be renamed: Cheap Ass Tacky Bastard, or any variation thereupon.
The location was fine--lovely scenery, nice hanging-out spot. But Cheap Ass starts the date by saying "I'll buy a round, then you buy a round." Truly? I thought he was joking. We sat with our drinks and had some decent conversation. He complimented my appearance and intelligence, and he was good enough company.
Tacky Bastard was ready for a drink before I was, and he's like, "You want another?" And I'm like, "I'm good for now." So he's like, "Well I'm ready for another, so let's go!" and I'm thinking--Why is he insisting I go with him to the bar? He buys himself a drink, and then he says, "Okay, but if you want another drink, you're paying for it." And I kept thinking he was joking.
But he kept trying to get me to buy him another drink. And in the meantime, he's saying how nice I look, how intelligent I am, etc. And I'm thinking, as you may have surmised, "You cheap ass tacky bastard."
After I realized he wasn't kidding, I was not so inviting. I called him out on it, too. I was like "No guy I've been on a date with in years has ever said: Okay, your turn to buy." And he's like, "That's how I roll! I don't buy drinks for girls. I don't buy drinks for my friends."
I had water for the rest of the date.
The kicker? This guy works in finance, lists himself in the highest echelon of Jdate's income level, and very likely makes at least five times what I do.
Here's the thing, guys. When a woman goes on a date, she invests. First of all, there's time. I guarantee you it takes longer for us to get ready than it does you. Secondly, cosmetics and hair product costs. Salon fees. Clothing and accessories. In general, if you want your lady date to look good--and don't say you don't care--then she is investing time and money into that date.
Which means at least at first, equalize the field by buying the drinks.
Ugh. I'm disgusted by this guy. The Tacky Ass.
Friday, September 07, 2007
I emailed this to Loverville:
I was just thinking about how the dudes we're lukewarm about usually get in touch. But the ones we actually like tend to be communication douches.
Sigh. Where's the dudes we're really into who don't use e-mail Massingill or Summer's Eve?
She enjoyed that :-)
Tonight is Mr. Chill, which I'm rather looking forward to.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
The thing is, I'm not sure I was very inviting. He didn't mention a second date, despite the fact that he leaned in for a kiss. Earlier in the evening, he mentioned something about the next time we see each other. And in a round-about way, he let me know he found me attractive--it was actually quite sweet. So if he doesn't call, I'll assume it was because he wasn't feeling much interest from me at the end of the date.
Which leads me to wonder: Would I call him?
I've mentioned before that I'm not a big "What if" person. So it's more of a "How much do I like this guy" question. I mean, he's alright. We had fun.
Maybe it'll be easier for me to sort it out after my date this weekend with Mr. Chill. I sent Mr. Chill's profile to RH, and she's a fan. He's a bit more my speed: Kind of goofy, artistic, playful. At least he seems so. We'll see about this whole "in person" thing.
Annddddd....There may be an appearance soon from someone you've heard of in the past. Is it the smartest thing to do? Maybe not. But I'm willing to give it a try. More details another time!
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Also, I remember thinking--Oohh! Drunk Jdating! Most fun ever!
Thankfully, when I shamefacedly checked my sent mail folder this morning, all was fine. Yay Cute Jewess for managing to write a witty drunk Jdate email. Which set up a date for this weekend. With a cute, funny, seemingly cool guy. Let's call him Mr. Chill--he seems pretty laid back, so why not.
Tomorrow's a date with Lanky. He's skinnier than dudes I usually date, but he's got a sweet, dorky smile, and he seems like a decent dude.
Monday, September 03, 2007
You know what? Boys are stupid. They don't realize how great we are. The minute something seems less than perfect--the minute there seems like there may be (God forbid!) work in a relationship they bail. Um...weak.
Friday night? Ha. Loverville and I set out on the town and found boys who were quite enamoured with us. They hearted us. But dude. They were twenty-three. Can't happen.
It flitted across my mind tonight: If I'm not gonna have a relationship with Big Smile, maybe I can just enjoy his giant penis. Because Giant Penis may be rare. And shouldn't one enjoy chemistry when one can? But...well...he doesn't deserve the pleasure. Douche.
So. Where is my nice reform or conservative Jewish boy who is attracitve and deserves me?
Fool's Gold: I know, I know. In another lifetime, perhaps.
Yes, I have a date set up for this week. Maybe two. Ehhhh, whatever. You'll hear if I'm feeling it.
Right now I'm watching a teenager holding a giant iguana on Jay Leno. See how exciting my life is?
And you wondered why you read this blog.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Best Friend knows how I heart this piece of British-Jewish a$$. I used to go see him DJ in NYC a few years ago, but now he's a music producer for the likes of Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen. He even has a blog of his own. Two blogging Cute Jews sounds like a match to me, Mark ;-) Those soulful brown eyes and that prep-school-but-wanna-be-bad-boy-cool thing get me every time.
Friday, August 31, 2007
I saw the Shrink this week for the first time in a while. I told him everything that happened with Big Smile, and he agreed that this one's entirely not my fault. BS was the one taking everything to a relationshippy state very early...and then freaking out when he felt it was too relationshippy. "It sounds like he got excited," Shrinky said. "Like he liked you. Like he was asking you to do activities more suitable for a girlfriend. But then he got scared."
Car Guy? Vanished. Just plain vanished. Never called again. Makes it much easier for me, but still. It also makes me question his character.
As to Smooch Boy? He's always in the background. If I wanted, I could call him up and I bet he'd come see me. But eh. I've got some fooling around out of my system, and I'm satisfied (at least for now!) to wait to find someone I really like. As always, there are a couple J-guys in the works, but I don't know yet if any are worth writing about.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
An interesting development: Car Guy has not called or texted since our awkward hook-up last week. This from someone who was texting and calling all the time. I don't think he's a bad guy--just that he picked up on my feelings. When (if!) he gets in touch, I'll confirm what he already probably knows. I'm going to be moving on.
To where or to whom I'm not yet sure.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Those dudes who have a self-image of being nice, good, rare, unique, etc. come on so promising at first. He gave a lot of mixed signals. He asked me on a date that was soooo something you should only do with a girlfriend (my girls will back me up on this), and then right afterwards complained that he "felt like he had a girlfriend." Um, dude. Why didn't you just ask me out for a drink, then? Like a normal date? Honestly, he's going to have a hard time finding someone better than me to hang out with. Maybe that sounds egotistical, but I know his likes, dislikes, and what he values in a girl. They're hard to find--and I fit the bill.
There are two other guys on Jdate I've been corresponding with during the whole Car Guy/Big Smile couple weeks, and I added another Jguy yesterday. But you know what? In the next week I've got tons of plans with friends, and I'm really looking forward to them. Big party this weekend, and 3 events next week that should be really fun.
As for tonight? I'm hoping to get to the gym. You know, to offset that pint of ice cream I treated myself to yesterday after getting slightly heartbroken.
RH and I shared a moment last night, as we were walking home from bar #2 of the evening. She said how happy she was to have me as a friend. Well, the feeling's mutual. Best Friend and RH really picked me up last night, and they rock. I'll be seeing Loverville soon too, and I'm sure we'll have a blast.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
But for now, yes, things are done with BS, and it sucks.
He felt it went too fast, felt like we were headed too soon into "this is my girlfriend" territory. He sort of sounded like an asshole when I asked him to explain himself, which makes it better. I didn't mention to him that another dude was over my place doing naughty things to me last night. How's that for "this is my girlfriend," Big Smile?
You know what? He's an idiot. I'm a great gal, and he should have been excited to be around me even after the sex. I called him on it. I said "You're one of those dudes." And he thought that was terribly unfair.
At first, he was intrigued, he said. But then his feelings changed. That's not fair. Yes, I'd rather this happen now than later. But there's no "good time."
I'm probably not going to want to answer questions. And I'll probably get testy if you leave douchy comments. Just FYIing in case I don't want to respond to comments (or in case I reply to douchiness).