Saturday, June 30, 2007

Hot Piece has officially vanished, which is a shame, because boy he sure had some hot pieces. From wanting to take me out for a nothing. The mysteries of the dating world continue.

There are a couple new guys thrown into the Jdate mix, but I'll wait to see if they're worth reporting on.

Meanwhile, I anticipate my date with Smart Alec. There's of course a very good chance we won't click in person, which is a shame, since we've both enjoyed each others' correspondence so much. But honestly, if the sparks aren't there--or if he just turns out to be a jerk, which is a possibility--I will miss the correspondence more than the man. That giddy rush of checking the inbox--did he write? The ego boost when he compliments your writing, your humor, your pictures. It's all been very fun, and I'm glad I'm enjoying it so much. Because if it all ends next week? I'd prefer to have email-flirted and lost than never email-flirted at all.

I'm being courted on Jdate by a youngster in his mid-20s. He's kind of cute, but oy. I just don't think I can do it. I enjoy the conversation bits of dating as well as the physical--and this guy does not strike me as old beyond his years.

--Cute Jewess

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

We can take another Jguy off the list, albeit not the Awesome Threesome.

Had a date with Forgotten, and, well, he will easily be so. Not a bad guy, not a disaster date. Just no spark whatsoever. He was very lean, and fidgety, as if he had too much energy to spare. This guy must have the metabolism of a house fly, because he doesn't seem the amphetamine type. I'll be surprised if he calls--we ended the evening on a handshake. Next!

I have a date set up with SmartAlec, although our schedules don't correspond for a couple weeks, alas. We're both excited about the date, but don't worry. There are a few red flags that are keeping my excitement level within bounds.

Meanwhile, Hot Piece, the inaugural member of the Awesome Foursome, has vanished. He seemed eager to call but never did. Hmm, maybe I'll check in. The only thing is, I have nothing to say to him. Our conversation already ended at its natural point, leading to the phone # request. We've already discussed what we have in common. I always have something to write--but not so much to this guy. Perhaps not a great sign.

I'm tired. Not sleeping too well of late. Also, not eating very well this week. Gotta get my act together, folks!

--Cute Jewess

Monday, June 25, 2007

We have an update. Allow me to share :-)

I saw Smooch Boy this weekend--I was with Best Friend, and we ran into him at a party. At the time, I was usual self. I had gone out with RH and her friends earlier and had a grand ole' time, drinking in the space of an hour and a half what I usually do in a whole night. By the time I saw Smooch Boy, I was pretty drunk. He was as cute as I remembered, but--and this is key!--not as sweet. I pretty much threw myself at him, which is so rare for me! Ah, the drink. He said that I "killed the mood," and that we'd get together another time. I'm not holding my breath. He won't likely call, and I'm okay with that. Best Friend's first impression of the less-than-sweet version of Smooch Boy? "Ugh, forget [Smooch Boy]. That guy was lame as lame could be. AND you didn't even make out! Please."

Moving on to Smiley, the first member of the Awesome Foursome whom I've met in person. I was prepared. Initially, he had seemed--on paper--like a great match for me, and I was excited about him. AND he emails/calls when he says he's going to--that's some pretty valuable currency in Guy Land. But by the time we met, we'd spoken on the phone a couple times, and I just wasn't feeling it. Something was missing--that unmistakable connection called "spark."

In person, Smiley is not quite as dashing as his pics, though he does have that attractive smile. We had a nice date--he's a good guy, there weren't any awkward pauses in conversation. But I'm not sure if the chemistry is there. Still, I'd give him another shot. He said he would call to get together again, and I'd see him again if he does. But for now, I think he's demoted to the regular Guy List. Which leaves me with an Awesome Threesome.

Prime among the three? Is SmartAlec. We have a definite connection over email--like I've never had with another Jguy before. I'm nervous about meeting him--will I measure up in person? I'd be sad to see this one go. And I have a feeling it'll be quite hard to live up to the virtual image he has of me. If I don't like him, however? I'd still be sad to see him go--at least, the idea I have of him. Right now, it's fun. I almost don't want to ruin that by actually meeting.

But I can't make out with an idea. So, yeah, it'll happen at some point ;-)

--Cute Jewess

Friday, June 22, 2007

An update on the Awesome Foursome?

I don't think Smiley and I have much phone chemistry, I'm surprised to say. Something was just...missing. Perhaps this is a good thing--the date will be less intimidating! We're set to meet up either this weekend or next, depending on how our schedules go.

Hot Piece has yet to call me, but I hope he will this weekend. His body looks delicious. He's cultured. We may get along well.

SmartAlec and I have been emailing, and so far, it's been a funny, intelligent, somewhat flirty conversation. Yummy!

Sporty and I will have conflicting schedules for a while. I'm not sure we have that much in common, but we've had some great emails, so I'd like to see what the chemistry will be in person.

Hmmm. How many of these guys will I actually meet? Any bets? :)

--Cute Jewess

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Hmmm. How to blog about this? I'm a bit superstitious about saying things are going well. Because then something inevitably happens to muck it up.

So let's just say there are 4 Jdate guys whom I'm very excited about. AND--here's the best part--they all seem pretty darn excited about me too. (One is new since the last post--Loverville suggested I call him SmartAlec, which works perfectly because he's intellectual but also sarcastic. Just my style!)

I've got 2 dates in the next week so far, with Forgotten and Aggy, neither of whom are part of the Awesome Foursome. In fact, I think Aggy and I will wind up friends, and we're both cool with that. You'll perhaps ask for more details, so I'll just say now that's all I feel comfortable sharing. Don't worry--you're not missing out on any story :)

The Awesome Foursome are: Hot Piece, Smiley, Sporty, and SmartAlec. If I had to choose right now--and of course, not having met any of them, I can only talk about virtual impressions--I would go with Smiley. Oh, I heart him. For longtime readers of CJTA, you may remember I described my dream husband's profession several months back. Please don't share in comments if you remember! But this guy? Is that profession. Swoon. ALSO? He's hot. ALSO? He's so nice over email! He apologizes when he doesn't get in touch in a timely fashion. He compliments me. He's just plain great!

Now's the time when I always get nervous about my own first impression. Will I measure up to the virtual idea these guys have of me? I dunno, but I always think I'll find a way to screw it up. So think good thoughts for me, and hope I don't commit some awful faux pas, okay!?

--Cute Jewess

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

I might just be ready to call the drought a thing of the past--keinahora! Shall we Jupdate? The first three have been mentioned in past posts that I'm too lazy to link too--scroll down, bitches.
  • Aggy: Something tells me he's not going to call. Here's a question--he might be a fun guy to fool around with once in a while, which seems to be what he wants anyway. So can I call him? Keep in mind I've gotten in touch the past 2 times!
  • Hot Piece: Swoon. He's got my number.
  • Forgotten: He had to cancel our last date. Will he get in touch to reschedule?
  • Smiley: This guy is CUTE. And has a great smile. I emailed him months ago with no response, then took another chance this week. He emailed back all cute and flirty like. Gotta tread carefully with this one, because he's dreamy and just my type.
  • Sporty: He's new too. And HOT. Mmmm, biceps. I emailed him, held my breath, and he wrote back eagerly. Yay!
  • Doc Meh: He emailed me during the drought, and I think that's why I emailed back. He's short, only passably cute, and his emails haven't been stunning. I'm not in a rush to get back in touch, or can't you tell?
  • Science Dude: We Jdate IM-ed the other day. We'll see if he emails or not to follow up.

Smooch Boy doesn't really belong on the Jupdate, but he hasn't called. Sweet talk is so much sweeter when followed by sweet actions!

He better hurry too, because my schedule (please oh please?) might be getting busy. (Keinahora!!!)

--Cute Jewess

Monday, June 18, 2007

Okay, Pig Face needs a new name. Because that's just the very first thing that popped into my head when I saw one of his pictures, and now I've seen him in person. And also made out with him. Let's call him Aggressive, or Aggy for short so I can type less.

LV asked why I hadn't blogged about him yet this weekend. Truth be told, at some point I was more excited to write about my new junk food find: Snickers Brownie Ice Cream Sandwich than about a perfectly good date with Aggy. I believe, though, that this fact may more reflect how friggin' awesome the ice cream sandwich is than how lukewarm I'm feeling toward Aggy.

Also, I suspect Aggy's a blog reader. I don't know about dating blogs, but I think I should be careful. Been there, done that, rejected the T-shirt offer. So let's just say Aggy is aggressive physically, but a good kisser. I wouldn't let him do much else--back to the usual Cute Jewess, at least for now! I wonder if he'll call. If he does, then he wants to hang out with me. If he doesn't, then he was probably just looking for some action. To be continued!

This weekend, Smooch Boy also seemed to insinuate that he wanted to see me in the coming week. And, duh, he said it very sweetly. I'm wondering if this one's all talk...

Let's also add Hot Piece to the list of fellas. I saw him on Jdate for the first time this weekend, and he's HOT, cultured, and seems to be fun. Even LV found him attractive when I sent her his profile, and we very rarely share the same taste in guys! He wrote back and asked for my phone number. Um, yes please!

Another Monday, another cap on a weekend of NYC single life. Now, what will the week bring?

--Cute Jewess

Friday, June 15, 2007

Smooch Boy was supposed to call "late this week," and he did not. My friends are already calling "douchebag." I know he's out of town, too, not that he bothered to tell me since we made sort-of-plans last week. Over a week ago--that's kind of far back in Guy Time, no? God forbid you remember a gal for 10 days.


So instead of Smoochy, I made plans with a Jguy tonight--someone I haven't mentioned before; I'll call him Forgotten. I guess I emailed him a couple weeks ago, when I was going through that mass email attempt to spice Jthings up a bit. We've been emailing some now, and he seems like a decent guy, but now he's canceled on me for tonight because of work interference.

A conspiracy, I say! Against Cute Jewess!

Alright, maybe not. But can this girl get a date please? Harrumph. Next on the roster will be Pig-Nose, who isn't at all pig-nosed, so I'll just call him PN. Meeting him next week. I kinda like this guy so far on IM, but will I find him cute? Something about his pics makes me wonder. Also, he's short.

Smooch Boy's just so cute. Will I ever see him again??
It's not looking so good right now!

--Cute Jewess

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Every once in a while, I'll come across a Jdate profile that makes me want to hurl. I think, therefore, that I will start a new category of occasional posts called "Oh, Shut. Up." I'm not a big fan of pretentious sounding language (as you may have picked up on :) ). If your profile's language makes me cringe? I don't care how cute you are. Nuh-uh, homey. Case in point:

This guy's pretty darn cute. For that reason, I clicked on his picture. Soon after, I was prompted to exclaim, Oh, Shut. Up. Some quotes for you from this hurltastic profile:

"While debating 'real' issues can be stimulating, I can't help but be very jovial. I love to laugh and make others laugh harder! Life is too short to ponder indefinitely over curiosity and desire."

"The date will be an exploration of two minds that know little about each other. The location will be unique with much character and aesthetic appeal. The depth of the connection will be apparent, sending chills up and down each other's spine. The conversation will be meaningful and deep, along with a subtle flirtation accenting our words."

His ideal relationship? "Pure stimulation of mind, body, and soul will exist perpetually."

Who is he looking for? "I am looking for a woman with whom I can dance an ever lasting adventure."

Guys, every once in a while you'll ask me what to write in your profiles. Hell if I know. But take a tip from Cute Jewess, this is definitely what not to write.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some pondering over curiosity and desire to take care of before tonight's dance of ever lasting adventure.

--Cute Jewess

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

A couple days ago, I emailed a Jdate profile of the paradigm of dorky cute. What a catch for Cute Jewess! However, he hasn't logged onto Jdate since I emailed him. Dorky Cute, don't you realize? You should be emailing me back right now! I'm adorable! And haven't you been reading lately? Now I'm easy!

(I kid! I kid!!!)

Ok, so ever since Smooch Boy left me his sweet-as-pie voicemail message last week, I've been looking forward to seeing him at a party this Friday. It was going to be so fun! But I don't think this is going to happen. The reason? Because I know more about him than he thinks I do. Ah, Google.

Smooch Boy's MySpace page says he's going out of town this weekend. Starting Friday. So why would he have said he'd see me this weekend? No doubt, he just forgot. Easy explanation. But once he remembered, he could have let me know, don't you think? He said he'd call me late this week to remind me to see him. He seemed so sincere. Do I expect him to call? We'll see. He's surprised me before.

Something tells me Smooch Boy wouldn't be a Mr. Limpers (to use RH's euphamism). Not that I'd be finding out on Friday, in any case :)

--Cute Jewess

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

CUTE JEW of the Week

B.J. Novak

The Office's B.J. Novak is just my traditional type of dorky cute. Fun fact: his dad co-edited the famous Big Book of Jewish Humor. (I say the son should edit the Big Book of Taking Cute Jewess on a Date.)

--Cute Jewess

Monday, June 11, 2007

At the birthday dinner Saturday night, BG's bubbly friend and I were trying to figure out what actor Hot Cousin looked like. Yesterday, I realized who it was. The resemblance is strong. Although HC isn't quite so ripped when shirtless, he was still so damn fine. What a waste of such raw hotness. For goodness sake, my world was supposed to be rocked Saturday night!

Here are a couple pics of Justin Theroux that resemble HC. Do you feel my loss here!?

Tonight, Loverville is hosting a get together at a downtown bar that's somewhat off the beaten path. I invited Best Friend, and by sheer coincidence, she's already going to another shindig being hosted by another friend of hers at the same location.

Manhattan is a small island indeed.

I'm not even going to hypothesize about whether I'll meet a cute Real Live Guy tonight or not. Lordy, I don't know where this RLG streak is leading me!

--Cute Jewess

Sunday, June 10, 2007

So the story keeps spinning. Missed part 1? Catch up here.

Around 2 AM, I'd made up my mind. I would let myself go. I'd have a little fun. There'd be no bad consequences. HC was trying to do naughty things to me right there in the club. I was not letting that happen. Hand slides under the dress? Slap hand away. Boy, he said some suggestive things to me. And yeah, it was kind of hot.

By 3 AM we were on our way to my place. It had not been an easy decision. I'd spent some time with my head in my hands, agonizing. But I didn't want to regret letting him go. I didn't want to wake up feeling like a prude and wondering why I'm not taking advantage of what's supposed to be a fun, guy-filled time in my life--for perhaps the first and last time ever. I broke up with the FAF about 7 months ago. I've been intimate with 2 guys since then (GL and SS)--but I hadn't had sex with anyone else. How long could I keep that up?

You'd laugh if you'd seen me and HC at my apartment when we first got there. By then, I was pretty sober. He was really not. I slipped my nightie over my dress, then took off the dress underneath. He was pretty impressed by that. "How'd you do that!?" Letting go of some details, let's just say it took a while for the nightie to make its exit. Then, finally, I let HC do things. It was not bad. Those skilled older men, with their tight bodies, smooth muscular chests. Yum.

We'd agreed beforehand that we weren't going to have sex. I'd had that talk with GL, too, on the one night I spent at his place. But when GL changed his mind mid-way through, I told him tough crap. We'd agreed--not going there. When HC changed his mind? (And come on, don't the guys always change their minds? Why make the resolution to begin with!?) I'd gone this far. I'd decided not to regret. I went to the drawer where I knew the "Larges" were kept, and I gave him one.

Let's just say it was brief. Very brief. Started okay, could have been amazing, I think, but well...why don't I just tell you in dialogue? "This never happens to me." "It's not you." "I can get it back." I guess Hot Cousin's Mister Friendly wasn't feeling too friendly.

I was disappointed. This was my first foray into flingdom post-FAF? Meh. But then it got worse. Pretty cringeworthy, actually.

"I think I know what it is," HC said, looking me in the eye. "I've started dating this girl..."

Me: What?!

Him: And I think I have feelings for her.

Me, glaring angrily: You're telling me this now?

Him: I guess I didn't know before.

I got out of bed, put my nightgown on, and headed to the bathroom. In truth, I felt tears coming. I'm not sure why. Granted, I tear up pretty easily. Any unexpected or powerful emotion I feel--any at all--brings me to tears. It's something I dislike about myself, but something I've never been able to control. The result of a lifetime of holding things in? Quite possibly. But what am I going to do?

"You're upset," HC said. "I never meant to upset you."

"You've made me into someone I never wanted to be," I said, tears rolling down my cheeks.

He didn't understand.

"I'm not a cheater," I told him. "And I don't help other people cheat."

HC protested. He and this girl hadn't had the "exclusivity" discussion yet. He was still a "free man." Ugh, I felt awful. He kept talking. "Do you think I'm a jerk? You think I'm a jerk. But I'm not a jerk."

"I think you're a guy," I said dryly.

And then HC became one in a long line (the last was SS) of men who have poured their hearts out to me. I'm a good listener, yes, and I don't tend to open up with my own issues too easily, so for whatever reason, guys love to just "open up" to me and "be totally honest," to use HC's words. I heard all about his recent divorce. About what didn't work in the relationship. About meeting someone new--but how crazy to jump into another relationship so soon. "I don't sleep around," he told me. "I really don't."

"Yeah, well neither do I."

"So how'd I slip through?" he asked. "Isn't this great, though? Don't you appreciate that I'm being completely honest with you? How many adult, honest conversations have you had like this?"

"Plenty," I let him know. "After all, we're adults." He, apparently, had not been accustomed to being so open and honest. Well, you don't say.

I didn't kick HC out, as he thought I would do. I let him sleep--and good Lord snore--next to me until he got up in the slightly-less-wee hours of the morning, with a raging hangover. I got him water and Tylenol, because I am nice and caring. The kitty rubbed against his legs. (The kitty tends to hate guys! Liked this one, go figure.) And then he was gone. I went back to sleep.

So how do I feel today? Jeez, I don't even know. Disappointed that my night of passion didn't turn out so passionate? Easily duped by such a "typical guy" (she writes, rolling her eyes at herself)? I didn't get what I wanted. And I guess that never feels too great, huh?

--Cute Jewess

P.S. He also left the seat up three times and the cap off my toothpaste. What did he have to do, commit every stereotypical guy sin in one night? Very nice.

Last night, I took a man home with me.
I'm not sure if I did the right thing--in fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't--but I've already agreed with myself that I'm not going to waste my time being anguished about it. At least not anymore. So there.

Oh, he was just so very hot.
And that's how it all started.

Last night, I was at a birthday dinner for a friend of RH's who has become my friend, too. We love Birthday Girl. She rocks. Dinner was at a long table with a suprising number of people (say, 10? Maybe more?). Birthday Girl (BG)'s cousin was at the other end of the table from me. Oh, my God he was hot, as I told BG after I met him. "Everybody says that," she responded.

I was determined. I would flirt with Hot Cousin. That was my goal, plain and simple--my only goal! Continuing the trend of Real Live Guys, and actually being able to talk to them. Charmingly! Appealingly! Flirtatiously! I mean, I've gotten so much better in so little time. (By the way: I was wearing the Tiny Dress from Tuesday. The one I met Smooch Boy in. I may have a new Magic Dress.)

And so--you would be so proud of me!--I started flirting with Hot Cousin from far across the table. He'd say something, and I'd challenge him archly. A sarcastic back and forth. I made him laugh, and he has a big, cute laugh. RH was across the table from me, inches away. But within lip-reading sight of Hot Cousin. So I texted her, right there in front of her: "Um can BG's cousin lick me?" I was joking. Or at least, I thought I was, I swear. In any case, RH agreed--Hot Cousin was damn sexy.

Oh, and let's not forget. Hot Cousin's nephew was also at this dinner, BG's other cousin. He was twenty-two. He figured I was 23 or 24. As soon as dinner was over and we were walking to the next destination, he tried to flirt me up and even put his arm around me. (Tiny Dress has magic powers!) "Ain't gonna work, kid," I said to him. He wouldn't believe my real age until I showed him my ID. What's more? Hot Cousin thought I was about 24 too--until we got to my apartment. That would have made him fifteen years older than I. He would have been fine with that. Me? Probably not so much. But his age was one of the reasons I was drawn to him. The last time I had a fling with an older, incredibly hot man, it was so good. So very good. And last night could have been great too, in different circumstances. Hmmm, I've lost the linear flow of the story now, haven't I? I told you Real Live Guys take up a helluva lot of writing space!

After Kid Cousin realized he wasn't getting anywhere with the older woman (me!), I held back a bit and started walking with Hot Cousin. It was a longish walk to our next joint, but I don't even remember it. I'd had quite a bit of wine. Man, if I were uncontrolled about my drinking, I'd be a bit worried right now. Basically, Hot Cousin was saying very suggestive things, and I was fending them off. Keep dreaming, buddy, I'd tell him (well, that was the gist at least.) I want to see your body, he'd say. Yeah, that's not gonna happen, I'd shoot back. But I realize now: I'd challenged him. I'd had a bit of attitude going on. I think that was the beginning of knowing what might happen.

But the very beginning. I wanted to kiss him, maybe. I figured I'd get him going a bit, but then leave him wanting more. So at that point, I guess I was willing to be a tease. (Um, who is this writing to you?)

But then we got to Destination 2. And, well, hours passed spent with Hot Cousin, and just Hot Cousin. Later, he'd say we had a connection. I started asking myself: Could I have a one night stand with this very hot guy?

Flash back to when I was actually 24 years old. That's when I met HGIESW (Hottest Guy I've Ever Slept With.) He was 9 years older than I. He was crazy, sexy, hot. He'd eyed me up and down right away (according to Best Friend--I was oblivious). He'd be my first (and pretty much only!) fling. And the hottest experience of that kind I've ever had. Could HC be that guy for me too? I was agonizing over it. On the one hand: I don't do this! I don't take men home with me upon first meeting them! Or second meeting them for that matter. Stick to your guns, CJ. You have a code of behavior for yourself, and this ain't it.

On the other hand: If I didn't invite HC home with me--as he seemed to think I was going to do, despite whatever protests I made--would I regret it?

And that's what got me. Would some code of behavior--some arbitrary set of rules I keep for myself--would that lead me to regret not letting go and just having fun? What would really be so bad about inviting this hot guy home with me? Code of behavior vs. possible regret. That went around my head over and over. I was truly torn.

Boy, this story's gotten long, huh? I need some more coffee. Maybe some Tylenol. So will HC turn out to be another truly memorable night of passion? Or something...completely different? More later...

--Cute Jewess

Friday, June 08, 2007

Ok, so the truth of the matter is: I met Smooch Boy on Tuesday night, toward the latter part, and I was pretty drunk. Drunk for me, that is, which is probably just normal tipsy for someone else. I remember I was starting a drink as I spoke with him that I would later give to LV because I couldn't finish it (and it was only my third!). But yum, it was a good drink.

So, thinking back, I remember what Smoochy looks like, and that he's cute, but maybe some of the details were getting...fuzzy.

But what do you do when all you know about someone is their (very generic!) first name, their profession, and where they're from? There must be a million "blanks" named "blank" from "blank." Google was not helping me out.

But finally--through some very creative searching--I was able to find Smooch Boy on google. And go figure--there are quite a few pictures of him online. And even better? Oh, he's cute. He's so very cute! I forwarded his pics to Best Friend, and she agreed. And this is someone who never agrees when I think someone's cute.

Don't get me wrong--there are some drawbacks. Smooch Boy's a bit New Agey. I am really, really not. I'm pretty sure we have very little in common. But he's sweet. And cute. And can I have a summer fling please?

--Cute Jewess

Thursday, June 07, 2007

To my surprise, Smooch Boy just gets sweeter. But you know how I like to start with a teaser and save the good stuff for the end, right?

For the first time since I started this blog (the real first time, back in November), I can give you a Real Live Guy update. It's been a busy week for Real Live Guys. Not all successful stories, but stories nonetheless. I think this means I'm getting a tad less shy! Maybe even more approachable! Shocker.

Last night I went to my favorite local bar with a girlfriend, Sporty, to hang out with her and my bartender friends. But when a seat opened up near us at the bar, these 3 cute dudes sat right down. Well, okay, I thought 2 of them were cute. But the third one was just LV's type--so zounds that she wasn't there :(

Okay, so these guys seemed a tad on the young side (latish mid-20's, I'd say), but when the one right next to me initiated some witty back and forth, who was I not to be charming and delightful? (Meaning, of course, that I teased him a bit and let myself be teased.) The second cutie tried to jump into the convo too, but he was a bit too far down the bar. Sporty had to leave a bit early, and I left with her. But I made Real Live Cutie (RLC?) promise to come back to that bar again. Who knows if our paths will meet--but if they do? Yummmmm. So, RLC = Real Live Guy #1.

You've met #2 before, The Blond. We've been emailing back and forth a bit, and I'm sure we'll see each other at some point. If nothing else, I enjoy hanging out with him. I did suggest we go to the very same local bar where I met let's hope he doesn't choose that night to pop back into my life and charm me to pieces.

Real Live Guy #3? Um, that's a funny story. I may be a bit pink-faced here! Remember Jackpot? Well, my "Jackpot" and LV's "Sweet Tall Guy," that is. She smooched him a bit at Saturday night's party but wasn't that into him. I'd spoken to him for only a minute or so, but he was so my type. So, um, when he didn't call LV back, she tossed me his email. Can I really do this? I asked her. Sure, she said. Why not? So I emailed Jackpot (and I paraphrase): Hey, remember me? You were hanging with my friend? Well, she thinks you and I might get along better. Email me back because I'm adorable and I think you are too! (Okay, so that last part was just in my head.)

Jackpot didn't email back, alas, and I doubt he will. Stupidhead. But we kind of knew that already when he gave up LV, now didn't we?

Alright, back to Smoochy. I did not expect him to call. I'm not sure why I didn't, I just...didn't. Maybe because I'd held back so much when he tried to kiss me (prude!). Maybe because it's rare when you meet a guy at a party and he actually calls. For whatever reason, I just didn't think he'd get in touch. But I wasn't sweating it, because I knew I'd see him again at another party in ten days or so. I figured, I'll just see him then, and see if he still seems interested. Maybe get some more kissing going on if I'm lucky--and if he's lucky :) No big. No agonizing on my end. Just "To be continued."

Except...Smooch Boy called me the very night after we met and left me one of the sweetest messages a guy's ever left me. Not that I listened to it at first. I didn't pick up the call because I didn't recognize the number. I figured it must be a Jdate guy, and I wasn't in the mood to make small talk with a stranger. I flipped open my phone and pressed "Call" to listen to the voicemail. Yeah, except remember: I am not slick. Despite appearances, I am a big dork. The voicemail hadn't registered yet. I was calling back the "Missed call."

"You're screening your calls?" said a deep, sexy voice. I immediately thought: Whose!?? There were a couple Jdate guys it could I'd just draw him out until I could figure it out.

"Yup! Sure am!"

He proceded to tell me he does that too, and he kept talking a bit, and I realized--hey! It's Smoochy! We didn't talk long--I was a bit flustered--but we arranged to meet up at this future party next weekend. He said he'd call to remind me. Cute.

When we hung up, I listened to his voicemail, in that same deep, resonant voice: "I just wanted to say it was a joy to talk to you last night. And I hope you're still thinking about me."

Smoochy, when you leave me a message like that, how can I not?

"To be continued..."

--Cute Jewess

(P.S. Real Live Guys sure take up a lot of writing space, now don't they!?!)

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Smooch Boy thinks I'm sweet. And I must say, I agree with him :) But we'll get there.

First, the set-up. If y'all are thinking that Loverville and I are two sexy, single gals about town, slaying them in the streets with our every're probably not that far off. This is mostly due to LV's talent for making friends--friends with good parties. I just show up and flash a little leg.

I got tipsy pretty fast, I think because I'd had a small dinner and a drink before the party. The crowd? Cuter than I thought it would be. The drinks? Delish. The music? Utterly danceable (and we did!). The temperature? Hot Hot Hot! LV says my tiny dress is flattering without being too short, and so I will trust her judgment.

I met Smooch Boy at the bar. I will tell you--I am horrible at starting flirty conversation while waiting for a drink. But there we were. Waiting. And waiting. And there was Smooch Boy, not realizing we were next, trying to get his own drink. I may not be good at initiating conversation, but I am awesome at standing up for myself. I let Smooch Boy know he wasn't getting a drink before us. I may have threatened to slap him. (I was tipsy! I was obviously kidding!) Anyway, Smooch Boy kept me talking to him. All of the sudden, I was flirting. Smiling coyly. Putting on the lip gloss. Pouting. Smooch Boy totally called me on it. "You know what you're doing," he said, as I put away the lip gloss. "It's not about the dress," he said. "It's not about the lip gloss. You're as attractive as anyone here. Do you know that?"

Wow! Now that's a nice compliment! But you know guys--they'll say anything to get in your Internet-voted-on panties.

LV went off with a friend, and I stayed with Smooch Boy. We talked some more. "You're not tough at all," he told me. (After all, I had threatened to slap him silly.) "You're very sweet." Well, duh! He wrapped an arm around my waist, and then he kissed me. Now, if he'd had his way, I have a feeling Smoochy's tongue would have eagerly introduced itself, but we were right there in front of everyone. At a crowded party. I'm just not a huge fan of full-on making out in full view of a packed house. So I let him kiss me chastely, twice.

He has my phone number. We'll see if he calls. I don't know that we're a perfect match relationship-wise, but he would make a fun fling, I do believe :)

After all, he's pretty sweet himself.

--Cute Jewess
Ok, the Great Panty Caper is over, and they were black, and chosen by the Internet, and not thong.

AND no one saw them.

But I might have smooched a guy. Just a tiny bit. But you'll have to wait until I'm awake tomorrow morning and caffeinated to hear about it...

--Cute Jewess

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Ah, guys and time and communication. I got a Jdate email today from someone I emailed a couple weeks ago. Hmmm--was I a Maybe for him? And things have calmed down on his side? 'Cause this homegirl ain't no Ms. Meh.

LV hypothesized that because I took 2 days to email The Blond (not playing games--just deciding if I should!), then he would wait an extra day to respond. She was right. We'll probably get together sometime, I imagine. He seems like a good guy, and we get along well, so why not?

Okay, I have a bit of a mission for you guys. As I mentioned yesterday, I'll be wearing quite a short dress tonight. Because I am no Britney/Lindsay/Paris, I will also be wearing significant underwear underneath. I have these cute lacey boyshorts that cover the assets nicely, and I've got them both in black and white.

So. In the unlikely (but I guess possible) event that my dress rises up a bit too far, which is smarter to have underneath--the black or the white? Is the white too grandma? The black too sexy? I happen to think that white lace is sexier than black, but that's for a whole other occasion :)

Blog Participation Day!

--Cute Jewess

Monday, June 04, 2007

I've owed Tall Dark a phone call for a while, but I kept putting it off. He's not really my type--and I'm not sure I find him attractive. But our emails have been perfectly fine, and he left me a nice voicemail message, and we found we like some of the same restaurants. So. Why not give it a try?

We finally connected via phone, and he seems like a guy I can go on a date with. We'll have enough to talk about. He'll treat me nicely. So at some point, I'm sure we'll meet up. Maybe I'll find him more attractive in person.

How do I feel about that? How do you think? Meh.

Tomorrow will be another party with LV and more flirting opportunities, although I don't anticipate the crowd being much my type. Still, I think it will be fun! I'm planning to wear a dress I've never worn before--and it has the shortest skirt I will have ever put on. I will hope LV gives me her honest opinion of how it looks. If it's not my most flattering dress, I'll just file it in the back of my closet! It was a cheapie anyway.

LV and I were laughing the other night about how she thought The Blond was cuter than Jackpot, and I thought the opposite. We should develop a secret language for these things for parties :) So the Secret Conversation might go something like this:

Pssst! Your dude is cute!
You think? Yours is cuter!
Hey, wanna swap?
Sure! They won't notice anyway.
Because boys are stupid.

(Boys! I joke!)

--Cute Jewess
Let's cross two names off the list, shall we?

I spoke with Hot Doc this weekend, and I can safely say we're not a good match. Call it City Girl versus Country Boy, but I'm realizing I might just not be right for a guy who loves him some suburbs and hates the city.

Impressed, too, left me...well...less than, myself. Our phone conversation wasn't bad, but I was already so blase about him to begin with, that it would have had to be truly inspiring to get me interested. So I'm not.

An addition would be Mr. Meh--he emailed me weeks ago, and I'm not sure why I didn't respond. Maybe I had too many guys on my plate then. He's not bad looking (although his face and nose are on the long side), he seems successful, playful enough. Let's see!

Ah, I should go email The Blond, shouldn't I? Eh, why the hell not.

Update: As I was leaving The Blond's side Saturday night, he was the one to call out, "But wait! You didn't take my card!" I emailed him. Hours ago. And so far no response? But I'm the best thing that ever happened to him! (Yes, I'm being sarcastic.) Still, I don't really care if he emails back or not. But when a guy who's into you in Real Life doesn't write back, you are going through a dating slump indeed :)

--Cute Jewess.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

It's bizarre, but lately I haven't felt much like blogging. I think it's because there isn't any single guy that I'm excited about. You know what I am enjoying, though? The breeze coming through my window. You may think I'm bizarre, but a cool breeze through a window is one of my favorite things ever. Napping in a breeze? Heaven. I have memories from college, right before classes would begin, of hanging out my dorm window, overlooking campus, watching people go by and occasionally calling hi. There'd be a perfect cool breeze, and I remember feeling absolutely happy.

But what crap do you give about breezes, eh? I've got a party to report on.

Last night Loverville and I traipsed over to the party of a friend of hers. We were both wearing fab dresses, looking pretty hot and tempting. It was a long night! With a lot of drinking! Man, LV is a social butterfly. I knew this, but seeing it in action is very impressive. I'm more shy, for sure, and that was apparent last night. But overall, I did okay! LV introduced me to The Blond, whom I pretty much talked to for the whole party. We had fun, and a good vibe going, but this morning I'm not feeling blown away. I tried to think back--have I ever even kissed a blond? I don't think so! Someone so Aryan-looking has just never been my type.

There was a guy there who was pretty much the spitting image of my type: Tall, dorky-cute, successful and--and!--a cat lover. I realized I now have a new category of guy--Jackpot Guys. Those guys who seem absolutely perfect for you--on paper. ("On paper" being the key words here. Because until you get to know a person, he's still just an idea.) Anyway, I was with The Blond, and Jackpot Guy was immediately smitten with LV. So at least one of us got her flirt on with Mr. Jackpot! I would have been sorry to see him slip away to some random bimbo--and yeah, there were a few at this party. More fake boobies than I've seen in one room since I can remember.

So will I get in touch with The Blond? I enjoy his company enough to give it a shot, but I'm not sure I can picture kissing him. It's not just the blondness and blue eyedness. There's something a bit off there...but there was possibly also some sort of connection, so we will see. How's that?

--Cute Jewess

Saturday, June 02, 2007

I mean...there are a few Jguys. But I can't say I'm too excited about any of them. I'm due to call 2 of them this weekend, but I'm not rushing to it.

  • Intellectual: He's potentially quite interesting! Short, but attractive,'s early yet, so we'll see.
  • Hot Doc: Seems like a nice enough guy, but there are a few potential drawbacks, one of which is location--not a city guy.
  • Teeth: He has a very toothy smile. So far our emails have been pretty darn boring. But maybe he's a phone guy. Eh, we'll see.
  • Tall Dark: We'll meet up at some point I think. I'm not sure if I find him attractive, but he seems like a decent enough guy.
  • Pig-Face: I have no idea why I'm thinking this guy looks a little pig-faced, but that's how I've been thinking of him. He's not unattractive--but he's pretty short. We have some things in common.
  • Impressed: This is the guy I'm most wary of. His emails carry a tone of "Oh my God you're awesome! And look how funny and charming I am!" If a phone conversation goes okay, I'll consider meeting him, but he's got some red flags.

Tonight's a party with Real Live Guys. I will think of it as flirting practice--because nine times out of ten, when I expect there to be cute guys at a party, I'm disappointed. But hey, if there's booze...and a fancy apartment to gawk at...and great company, well, then it's a win-win situation, no?

--Cute Jewess