Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Some recent funnies:

Today I was reaching for my olive oil to saute with, when I noticed it wasn't there. After a search around my kitchen, I remembered. The olive oil was sitting on the bathtub rim. I had heard more than once that shaving your legs with olive oil leaves them softer than using soap. Recently, I put this theory to the test, shaving one leg using olive oil and the other soap. I did not enjoy the oil shave. Afterwards, both legs looked and felt the same. Plus, I had to spend time finding my oil in order to saute. Not great.

Speaking of soap. The other day, I was in my bathroom when I noticed it smelled like cat pee--unusually strongly. I figured I had recently cleaned the litter box, and so molecules of kitty pee must have saturated the air somehow. I sprayed my lovely Bath and Body Works room deodorizer spray and thought nothing more of it. Except, the next time I was in the bathroom, it still smelled like pee. I went about my business, washing my hands, and that's when I realized. My mother had given me a bar of aromatherapy soap she'd gotten in some hotel. "It smells like vanilla," she told me. Obviously, she had never actually unwrapped it. I don't know what soap maker thinks that cat pee is a therapeutic smell, but I must disagree with him or her.
I do not love my new soap that smells like pee.

--Cute Jewess

Thursday, January 24, 2008

As I've mentioned before, I'm not a particularly religious Jew. I was Bat Mitzvahed, yes, but raised entirely reform. As in, if I'm going to eat barbecue, I say pass the pork ribs please, extra spicy! And after these past High Holy Days, I wonder if I will continue to go to services even once a year until I have a family. Also, I don't have many Jewish friends who understand the Yiddishisms that pop out of my mouth now and again--something passed down by my parents, who do so way more often than I. So while I consider Jewishness a significant part of my identity, it's just not a huge part of my daily life. This will be simplifying things, but to me, Jewish says: My family is loud, but they'll feed you enough!

Recently, I found a jewelry website, Satya Jewelry, that I just adore. On it, I found this necklace.
I'm not going to lie--I was initially attracted by the aesthetic, which fits my necklace preferences--gold, delicate, small multi-charm, and not too long--although I would prefer and probably ask for a 16" length chain instead of 18".

I got to thinking, though. Would I ever wear a Jewish star? And I think that yes, I would enjoy keeping that reminder of my Jewishness close to heart. It often feels quite far away to me. When the purse strings are less tight, I think I'll save up for this pretty little thing.

Part of my newfound--and perhaps brief--Jewtriotism must have to do with recently watching PBS's totally interesting The Jewish Americans series. If you haven't seen it, I recommend catching reruns; I only caught the last 2 installments, so I'll be looking for them myself. But having a readily available chunk of American history told through a Jewish perspective in such an accessible form certainly opened my eyes. Did you know that Henry Ford was buddies with Hitler!? I didn't! I don't want to try to describe the series because I fear I won't do it justice, so I hope you'll check it out, whatever background you're from--it's a fascinating look at a piece of shared American history.

Tonight I'll be going to a party with lots of good (goy) friends, as I will be tomorrow. Yay!

--Cute Jewess

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Do you remember several months ago when I told you about my Frenemy? Well, she's back. She's emailing me like her big freak out and our fight never happened. First she included me in a group happy New Year email, which I just ignored. But now she's writing to me specifically, starting "Hey CJ!" as if we've been buddy buddy all this time.

Part of me knows it would be very easy to avoid talking about the conflict and just say, "Ok, we'll be on speaking terms again now," but I don't think that'll make me feel good. I need to at least talk about what happened if I'm to have any relationship with this woman. I was hurt, and very angry. She's so immature and sensitive, though, that I don't know if talking about it would be a possibility. I have not particularly missed her friendship, but we do have friends in common, and hanging out all together in the future will be likely. I can't see her and just pretend all is normal.

So, I'm thinking what I have to do is write her back, briefly, that I can't just ignore what happened, and I'd like to talk about it not on email. Of course, I don't particularly want to talk about it with her. How do you tell someone, Hi, I think you resent me and are just waiting for any chance to blow up at me, and what you did was really shitty even if you don't think so?

Should I just ignore her? Try to talk to her even though I know we will never be actual friends again no matter what? For now, I'll let it lie. I haven't got the time in my day right now to deal with her mishigas (Yiddish for annoying craziness).

--Cute Jewess

Monday, January 21, 2008

Methinks my mojo may be mogone. I've been having less luck on the jdate lately. Either guys aren't writing me back or, in the case of the last 2 who wrote back and seemed totally interested, they just vanish. I do know that the jdate luck goes in peaks and valleys, but I'm ready for a good date one of these days. It's been a while since I was excited about a dude.

Ha. A story: I was at a bar with Loverville one recent night, when she says quietly into my ear, "I know that guy from someplace. Is he on Jdate?" I could only see the guy in profile, which didn't look familiar. "I don't know him," I said. Until a friend of Loverville's brought the guy over. "This is Persistent," she said (well, she used his name, but duh). "He knows he knows you two from somewhere, but can't place where." Instantly, I recognized him. He had hotlisted me, flirted with me, and tried to IM me. And when that didn't work, he just kept "viewing me" every so often. Yup, he was a Jdater. And he'd viewed me enough times that I was sure that at least for me, he knew that's how he recognized me. I'm figuring it's the same for LV.

Later, LV would email me "When I was first talking to him, it looked like you were trying to hide yourself in your drink -- I was thinking, nice try, [CJ], you're going to have to reveal your face at some point!!! ;-)" Indeed, LV was her usual gracious, warm, chatty self. I, on the other hand? Was on the colder side. It's just that if it were me--as it once was, in fact, when I saw a Jdate dude in a bar and knew he'd already not written me back--I'd be practical about the fact that it's just a no-go. (About that, Sporty said that dude had been eyeing me most of the night and I should go over and introduce myself. But come on, he didn't email me back. If he wanted to meet me at the bar, he could come on over his own self.) Anyway, when I finally couldn't avoid Persistent any longer, we had a brief conversation. He exaggerated his reaction to everything I said, as if to telegraph "Look how surprised I am at what you do! I did not at all read it in your profile!" I excused myself to the bathroom, he got the picture, and he went back to his friends.

Afterwards, I was feeling kind of bad. I wasn't impolite, just not especially warm. I felt a twinge of guilt. But both LV and Best Friend (after hearing the story) assured me no guilt was necessary--so I will chalk it up to just not wanting to be entirely inviting.

This next week will be on the busy side, with friends rather than dating, culminating in a birthday party Friday for my friend Dopelganger (he's like the gay male version of me in taste and personality--we love him, clearly). I'm hoping Best Friend will join for that. I haven't seen her in agggges.

Come on, mojo. Don't keep telling me no go!
--Cute Jewess

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Stories to come soon! But for now, enjoy my new crush, Jordan from Conan O'Brien. This clip hasn't failed to cause merriment no matter how many times I watch it.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

A CJ quickie:
It is true that in the past year, I have used the word "douche" more often than in previous years. I kinda dig it. But perhaps the term may now roll off my tongue too easily.

Just now, as I came from the kitchen with a glass of water, my cat looked ready to pounce at me. My instinctive response to him, out loud and sincere, was "Don't be a douchebag."

Indeed, tonight the kitty is acting douchey.

--Cute Jewess

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Blond could really use some dating classes. Also, I am now on the lookout for new datey places in my (easily accessible) neighb, as I will not be traveling like that again for a first date for a good long while.

I had forgotten that I had a small blister on my toe, but as I walked the many blocks to meet Blond, I was sharply reminded of it. Because of the unusually warm weather, I was wearing thin socks with my high heel boots. All I can say is Ouch. I got to the date five minutes late, explaining "Wow, that was a walk." Blond's response? "Yeah, this place isn't near the subway." Okay, homey, then why did you choose it!? Whatever. I'm just not walking that much in heels again for a Jdate, period.

My 2nd thought upon meeting Blond was, "Easy with the cologne, buddy." I shouldn't be sitting arms length away from you and smell your jank cologne. Period.

I will assure you these thoughts were in my head only, and I was very polite (more so than I probably should have been), and our conversation was just fine, as we share some interests in common. After an hour (mind you it took almost 40 minutes door-to-door for me to get to this place), Blond pulled the "I'm tired" line. Normally, I'd say fine. We were having a pleasant enough time, but it was clear we weren't a match. However, I still had half my drink left. Blond wasn't even letting me finish my drink. Tacky, tacky. In total, I spent more time getting to and from the friggin' date than I did on the date. Boo hiss on Blond.

Let's talk about something else more enjoyable, then. I hate to say this, because I certainly support television writers and consider their cause strike-worthy, but Conan O'Brien's show is funnier without the writers. This is because his best bits are always when he's let loose on some situation with a camera and no script. His whole Finland special was like that--highly recommended for those who haven't seen it. Without scripts lately, they've been doing more of these remotes.

Anyway, last night, Conan showed a clip of him "getting to know" his associate producer Jordan Schlansky. Given Jordan's last name, it's possible he could be elevated to "Cute Jew of the Week" status, but since I'm not sure, I'll just tell you to find this clip on the YouTube. Jordan Schlansky is one odd individual, but in the most fun, funny, loveably eccentric way. My two favorite bits were when straight-faced Jordan cracks up as Conan uncovers his secret stash of pop-tarts (adorable), and a later, separate clip--find this one too!--that's just Conan cracking up at Jordan doing nothing. Sitting there. Being himself.

I have a new I-don't-know-you-in-real-life crush for sure. Hell, I'll probably go find the clips on YouTube later and post them myself. You may remember when Conan was in San Francisco, and he (hilariously) visited George Lucas's Skywalker Ranch. This Jordan is the same dude who asked Lucas some elaborate question only, like, 5 Star Wars lovers would know. Can you see why I heart him?

For Jordan, I'd totally travel. ;-)

--Cute Jewess

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I have nothing to wear tonight. I need some good date tops. I could wear a dress, but I'm not in the mood, and my tops are all rather casual. I just need a short sleeved shirt of some kind with some pretty trim and nice neckline or something. There will be combing through the closet.

If you're in New York right now, I hope you've got a window open. What a lovely, spring-like day. It's the kind of weather that makes me want to nap in a breeze. God I wish I could nap right now near an open window. Cats have it so good.

I need to get my hair done soon--it's getting a bit ratty. But oy, New York stylists are just so expensive. Mine is comparably reasonable, and I adore her, but I'm not looking forward to the expense. I know I'm not the only gal on a budget who considers hair maintenance a necessity. My self-confidence--the part that relates to the physical, at least--starts with my hair. I feel like Lady Samson. My stylist and I talked last time I went about changing the color, but I'm not feeling that bold at the moment, so I believe I will keep on keeping on.

If only I could keep on keeping on...while napping.

--Cute Jewess

Sunday, January 06, 2008

My first Jdate of the year, with Blond (a new guy), will be next week. Generally (as I've mentioned before) when a dude suggests a place in his neighborhood, I find it an initial turn-off. Scratch that--the suggestion itself is just fine, if qualified with something like "Or we can meet in your neighborhood, if that's better for you." Blond did not qualify. To me, that initially says, "I'm not that considerate." Usually I will counter with "How about you come to my neighborhood?" But truth be told, I'm kind of sick of the datey places in my neighborhood. Often they're too loud, crowded, etc. So for this time, I'll travel to his neck of the woods, and if I regret it, then I'll know to look for new wine bars and lounges in my neighb. I don't expect anything tremendous from this date, but that's often the best way to go into these things.

I belive I have a coffee problem. I've always drank a lot of coffee, but I fear it's starting to screw with my dehydration levels. I'm always thirsty, and I wake up dying for water. Not great. I know I should cut back on the coffee--and I probably will--but for now I'm vowing to drink more water. Boy do I pee.

See what I write about when the year starts slowly?

In the next few months I will be planning 1) at least one party, maybe two; 2) a trip that will be both totally exciting and bittersweet (can't go into details); 3) the possibility of a new career path. So for now, I'm okay with quiet time.

--Cute Jewess

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year!

Sometimes I like to blog right after an event, when I'm working through things in my head. But mostly, I wait a couple days to see how I'm feeling then. No Smile was the dude I dated this past weekend, but the story is actually quite simple, I think.

When I saw No Smile, I was pleased--he was cuter in person. And from the start, conversation just flowed. We sat side by side, he seemed to imply he was enjoying himself, and I figured I'd be going on another date with this guy. Now here's the thing. Certain details came up in our conversation that were big red flags about this dude in terms of how he acts in relationships. I got the sense he didn't like to be tied down, so to speak, and didn't always act "right" by his lady. So pretty much, despite his attractiveness, humor, and gentlemanly behavior during our very pleasant date, I knew he wasn't likely going to be relationship material. But he seemed great just-dating or fling type material. If nothting else, I figured I'd get to see how he kisses.

But, as you saw last entry, you know how that ended. I did go through some "Are my pictures too flattering" anxiety, but for now I'll just go forward with whomever the next guy is and see how that goes.

New Years was quiet for me, which is all I really felt like. Best Friend had invited me to join her at a party, and I would certainly have enjoyed spending time with her, but I just wasn't feeling the night, so to speak. New Years is never my favorite holiday--too expensive, crowded, often disappointing. So I had dinner with my mom and dad, and we enjoyed watching Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin (love her!) ring in 2008 on CNN. From my parent's window, you can see a wonderful fireworks display, too. Dad put his arm arounds me and mom and said he had his two ladies, and that's all he needed to be happy. Awwww.

I don't tend to make resolutions, because I know I'll just break them. But I think 2008 will be a good year, and I look forward to sharing what I hope will be its great stories with you.

--Cute Jewess