Friday, August 31, 2007
I saw the Shrink this week for the first time in a while. I told him everything that happened with Big Smile, and he agreed that this one's entirely not my fault. BS was the one taking everything to a relationshippy state very early...and then freaking out when he felt it was too relationshippy. "It sounds like he got excited," Shrinky said. "Like he liked you. Like he was asking you to do activities more suitable for a girlfriend. But then he got scared."
Car Guy? Vanished. Just plain vanished. Never called again. Makes it much easier for me, but still. It also makes me question his character.
As to Smooch Boy? He's always in the background. If I wanted, I could call him up and I bet he'd come see me. But eh. I've got some fooling around out of my system, and I'm satisfied (at least for now!) to wait to find someone I really like. As always, there are a couple J-guys in the works, but I don't know yet if any are worth writing about.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
An interesting development: Car Guy has not called or texted since our awkward hook-up last week. This from someone who was texting and calling all the time. I don't think he's a bad guy--just that he picked up on my feelings. When (if!) he gets in touch, I'll confirm what he already probably knows. I'm going to be moving on.
To where or to whom I'm not yet sure.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Those dudes who have a self-image of being nice, good, rare, unique, etc. come on so promising at first. He gave a lot of mixed signals. He asked me on a date that was soooo something you should only do with a girlfriend (my girls will back me up on this), and then right afterwards complained that he "felt like he had a girlfriend." Um, dude. Why didn't you just ask me out for a drink, then? Like a normal date? Honestly, he's going to have a hard time finding someone better than me to hang out with. Maybe that sounds egotistical, but I know his likes, dislikes, and what he values in a girl. They're hard to find--and I fit the bill.
There are two other guys on Jdate I've been corresponding with during the whole Car Guy/Big Smile couple weeks, and I added another Jguy yesterday. But you know what? In the next week I've got tons of plans with friends, and I'm really looking forward to them. Big party this weekend, and 3 events next week that should be really fun.
As for tonight? I'm hoping to get to the gym. You know, to offset that pint of ice cream I treated myself to yesterday after getting slightly heartbroken.
RH and I shared a moment last night, as we were walking home from bar #2 of the evening. She said how happy she was to have me as a friend. Well, the feeling's mutual. Best Friend and RH really picked me up last night, and they rock. I'll be seeing Loverville soon too, and I'm sure we'll have a blast.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
But for now, yes, things are done with BS, and it sucks.
He felt it went too fast, felt like we were headed too soon into "this is my girlfriend" territory. He sort of sounded like an asshole when I asked him to explain himself, which makes it better. I didn't mention to him that another dude was over my place doing naughty things to me last night. How's that for "this is my girlfriend," Big Smile?
You know what? He's an idiot. I'm a great gal, and he should have been excited to be around me even after the sex. I called him on it. I said "You're one of those dudes." And he thought that was terribly unfair.
At first, he was intrigued, he said. But then his feelings changed. That's not fair. Yes, I'd rather this happen now than later. But there's no "good time."
I'm probably not going to want to answer questions. And I'll probably get testy if you leave douchy comments. Just FYIing in case I don't want to respond to comments (or in case I reply to douchiness).
Oh, blog reader people. I am confused. About more than you might imagine. It's not going how I'd like with either Car Guy or Big Smile. One is not affectionate or attentive enough. One is coming on too strong. One won't hug. The other won't get the hell off me.
I'll start with Big Smile. He didn't email or text yesterday, which is a horrible sign. Granted, I know it was going to be his busiest day at work all year, but he could have shot over an email at least, you would think. Sucks. He's the first guy since the FAF that I could imagine being exclusive with. So...really sucks.
As to Car Guy...oy. I think I have to end it. At least, I think I think I have to end it. As I expected, there was "alone time" on our third date. My head was as busy as my hands. First, I thought--yup, he's one of those. By which I mean the dudes who think kissing is sticking out your tongue and rolling it around endlessly. Do women like this? I don't. But the kissing got better. He responded to what I wanted, and soon it was just fine. As to the "other stuff," I gotta say, I was impressed. He's better at pleasuring a lady than most men--including Big Smile. So, yay for Car Guy. I started thinking--hey, maybe I'll keep this one around for a while. But then it was my turn, and I just...wasn't feeling it. I knew I wasn't going to sleep with him, but all of the sudden, I just wanted to stop altogether. I didn't want to be in that situation with him. We kind of did stop. But I'll keep the rest of the details to myself.
So...why? Was it because I'm turned off by Car Guy's body? Because, in truth, I think I am. I find his face very attractive. His bod not so much. He's big. He's sweaty. I don't like his feet. Or was it because my "heart," so to speak, is somewhere else? Maybe I can't be physical with two guys at once (and no not literally "at once"). I don't know. But my gut is saying that I don't want to keep seeing Car Guy.
This pretty much sucks. Because he's ready to have a relationship wtih me. Ready to plan trips. He's talking about us like we're at the start of something long-lasting. If this were Big Smile saying these things? I'd be thrilled to bits. But Car Guy saying them makes me feel uncomfortable.
So, for today, I am not a fan of dating. Today, I think dating is dooky. And the boy I like should like me back, and the boy I don't like as much should have slowed his ass down.
Thankfully, these low days are rare lately. I can't say I'll return to sunny Cute Jewess right away...especially if I don't hear from BS...but I can say that I hope to.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
I've seen him once since the lovin'. It was...nice. It was fine. We hung out. Had a good time together. But he wasn't affectionate at all. Barely even touched me. I kissed him chastely a couple times--and he seemed to respond. I mean, I do know he finds me attractive. Thinking back, this might just be his temperament. The time he was most touchy-feely was when he was pretty darn drunk. But still, a big part of me can't help wonder: Is he just not that into me?
I've been trying to prepare myself for the "You're really cool, so can we be just friends?" conversation. I would hate that conversation so much. I like this guy. Kind of a lot. He makes me smile; he's goofy but also tough. Metrosexual enough, but still manly. Smart, cute. Oy. Also, I don't know when I'll be able to see him again. He's out of town this weekend, and our date the next week probably has to be rescheduled.
So there you go. I'm left to wonder. For a while.
RH thinks it's too early to be worrying about this stuff. She and I stayed out real late last night hanging out at a couple of our regular bars. Total fun! Between her new beau and my many recent dates, I hadn't seen her in ages! She kept saying over and over not to worry about Big Smile. But still...well...I am.
Also, RH said to me almost right away, "You look super skinny." I looked a bit perplexed. "I'm the same as the last time you saw me." And then I realized. It's the jeans. I told her that, showed off the enhanced tush, and she was suitably impressed by my new magic dungarees. And don't worry--if you're still dying to know what they are, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I'll tell ya. :)
Update: Best Friend thinks BS likes me. But not as much as I like him. That's pretty much my worry.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Huh. Chalk this up to a case of "You can't judge a book by its profile."
Remember Please Oh Please? I wrote to him again--really only because I'm trying not to focus too much on Big Smile. I wrote him a cute, funny, confident email. And within an hour, he wrote back.
But his reply was surprising. His profile was one of the best I'd ever read. Funny, sweet, casual, intelligent. On paper, we seemed like such a dang good match.
Then I read his reply--and it was totally disappointing. He doesn't seem uninterested, just kind of...dickish. I wrote back again to his reply, and we'll see if he writes back--and more importantly, we'll see if he writes back something worth reading.
If he doesn't though? Eh. Totally his loss. And perhaps not even a little bit mine.
I've mentioned endlessly before that I'm an email/text girl rather than a phone girl. But Car Guy has started calling. To chat. About stuff I don't care about. When I told Loverville about one of our conversations, she emailed "Omg... [CG] thinks you're his girlfriend now, and thinks he can talk to you about these inane things!!! Hah!"
So yes, Big Smile is still in the lead. But until--if ever--we're exclusive, I want to keep actively dating other guys. I don't want to get too into BS--to focus too much of my attention on him. Because what if it doesn't work out? It's still so early. Basically, I guess I'm trying to protect myself even just a bit. Plus, I do enjoy hanging out with Car Guy. Quite a lot, actually. So we'll see if that enjoyment continues.
In the meantime, though, I can't wait to see BS again.
So...well...I guess there's not much protecting myself after all.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
I am tired because I didn't sleep at my own apartment last night, and I just couldn't stay asleep. What a surprising evening. You'd think because I had a special date set up with Car Guy, that he'd be the one I'll be writing about. But at the last minute, CG had to cancel. He did it well, had a good reason, was totally disappointed, etc. And we'll see how he makes it up to me.
I emailed the trio of Real Life gal pals whom you know, Best Friend, RH and Loverville, and almost immediately, BF and LV wrote back "Call Smoochy!" Ha. They figured I might as well get some fool-around time from someone. And, I did. But not Smooch Boy.
Even though I'd vowed to let Big Smile be the next one to contact me, I caved. I texted him to see what was up. He invited me out. I met him at a bar--with his friends--and almost the moment he saw me--right at the time our lips met for a mostly chaste hello kiss--hmmm, how would a lady say this? The blood rushed to "down there" in a bulgey fashion. The dude gets excited just to touch me the tiniest bit. Later he would say I "just do it for him." You'll hear me refer to myself as "cute" (duh), I think I've got a nice little figure. And sometimes I enjoy flaunting it. But to Big Smile? I'm all "sexy" and nothing but. I'm not used to being the "hot" girl, despite whatever tiny dresses I may wear now and again. I like turning Big Smile on ;-)
He was sweet, charming, attentive, funny. We wound up at his place, and more blood flowed in bulgey fashion. I told him--look, I'm not the kind of girl who gets intimate with a guy and expects him to then vanish. He said, "What, and I am? I'm not planning on vanishing." And, well, I'd been wondering about the bigness...not of the smile...and lordy, it's big. I mean, there might have to be some getting used to it. But there was some pretty darn good sex that night. And some more the next morning.
I called Best Friend when I got home, and we chatted it out. At the end of our girl dishing, she asked "So you're attracted to him? And he's nice? And you want to date him?" And I answered: "Yup." She asked, "So there are no issues?" And I replied, "Nope."
At least not right now. Did I sleep with him too fast? Maybe. But right now I'm not sweating it. I'm not sure this is the guy I want to have a relationship with, marry, etc. etc. But after 3 dates, I can't be expected to know that, right!? I'll just see what happens. I like the dude. Enjoy his company. He feels the same way.
As Loverville emailed me this morning, "Big Smile is in the lead!"
Is he as affectionate as Car Guy? No, and I wouldn't mind if he were. But he treats me well, I don't think he's a d*ck, he's obviously intelligent, and I find him attractive. At this point, that's all I need.
Friday, August 17, 2007
I'm seeing Car Guy tonight, and I'm looking forward to it. I'm curious to see how our night ends--I would be surprised if there isn't some alone time thrown in there. He's so sweet and attentive. I like that I feel I can call, email, or text him whenever I want without him thinking it's "over eager." He just responds with something romantic like "I can't wait to see you again."
In fact, I wish I felt that way with Big Smile. Because I really like Big Smile, and I want to text and email him as often as I please--but I'm not sure I can. He's less overtly romantic, and I find myself wondering if that's just his personality (which I think it is) or whether I'm coming on too eagerly. But we do text and email on a regular basis, so I'm not worried yet. I'll have to see him again before I'll know what's going on. I'm a little nervous to see Big Smile again, I admit. Did we get physical too soon? For now, I've vowed to let him be the next to contact me, which will be hard! But I've got to hold back. I hope I get to see him next week. I'm feeling impatient about it. Wish me luck that he'll get in touch and confirm plans for our next date!
Update: Ha. So, the 3 people I talk to most often in "real life" about dudes are Best Friend, RH, and Loverville. And since all 3 read the blog, they have no clue whom I'm talking about when I use real names. So I'll be going on about some dude, and they'll email back: Wait, is this Car Guy?
Jeez, I just hope I remember the guys' real names and don't mix them up at the wrong moment!!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
But I'll tell you, walking home last night, I couldn't get Smooch Boy out of my mind. He was there for the taking. I could have called him up, said--screw it, lets get a drink--and seen where the night would take us. Plus, I thought about how I've only been on 2 dates each with BS and CG. If I'm going to fool around with Smoochy, it should be sooner rather than later!
But then I thought about how much sweeter BS and CG are. How thinking about them makes me smile. How if I fooled around with Smoochy, it would be 3 guys in one week. I thought about how I'd feel if I slept with one guy while liking two others. It wasn't going to work for me.
Later that night, Car Guy sent me a text saying simply, "Goodnight, Angel." This morning, Big Smile emailed just to say hi.
I know CG's planning a super special date for this weekend. I'm still waiting for BS to cement our plans for next week, but I'm not too worried. These are good guys, I think.
Ugh. I haven't been able to get to the gym for longer than I'm comfortable with. I'm trying to get there during lunch today--something I never do. I'm thinking if I write it on the blog, though, that'll motivate me to get my lunchtime ass in gear! After all, I've got at least one hot date this weekend ;-)
Update: What an f-ing great workout! I rock :)
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Right now, I'm thinking no. I canceled our plans. As hot as I can be for Smoochy, he's someone I'm only interested in physically. So part of me thinks--yay! Maybe I could have some sex tonight! Which--don't get me wrong--sounds pretty good for someone who's mostly held out for many months. But I don't want to regret anything, and I'd rather be intimate with someone I could imagine dating more seriously--like BS or CG. So, despite the ease with which I could have whatever I wanted tonight...I will wait.
Besides, from the look of Mr. Big Smile (as discussed yesterday), waiting might well be worth it. Smooch Boy--the gentile--has not been quite as blessed.
Big Smile and I have amorphous plans for next week, but until they're cemented and confirmed, I'm not counting on anything for sure.
So, as usual folks, to be continued...
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
See, the thing is, I felt very comfortable with Big Smile. Because we were both so physically chaste on our first date--barely cheek kissed goodnight--and because we'd both discussed how we like to take things slowly, I guess I let my guard down a bit. I gotta say, he doesn't seem like a douche. Big Smile seems like a nice Jewish boy--with an edge. Just how I like 'em.
By the way, we can add another sample to the Great Jewish Penis debate of a couple months back. Big Smile = Big...well, you know. Homeboy's hung.
No, we didn't have sex. When I tell a dude "No sex" before getting cozy with him, I mean it. But there was the "other stuff". And it was good. And no, don't even ask for more details. He's a fabulous kisser--definitely one of the best I've kissed. He's smart, funny, sweet, good to his family, sarcastic, a bit tough looking too. Not ripped, but fit.
Big Smile's also quite smitten with CJ. He thinks she's sexy. He likes her sense of humor. Just kissing her gets him "noticeably excited." She, apparently, talks about herself in the 3rd person and uses lots of quotation marks :-)
I will be very surprised if Big Smile just vanishes now, but with dudes you never know. That's one of the reasons I tend to take things slow--when you give a guy what he wants, a lot of times he'll disappear. BS doesn't seem to be that guy. We talked about seeing each other again as if it were inevitable. But until he calls, I'll be wondering a little bit.
Of course Smooch Boy's trying to set up a date now. And I've got Car Guy this weekend. I'm a tad overwhelmed, but I am not going to complain. For realsies.
Monday, August 13, 2007
You heard about Car Guy Friday night. Then Saturday night, it was Forgettable--who lived up to his name. First of all, he was heavier and not as cute as his pics, which I'm guessing were old. Also, he looked older than his age--although I don't believe he was lying about it. All he wanted to talk about was sports. He's one of those patriotic "go-war," "I support my president no matter what" kind of guys. Honestly, there was no connection phsyically or mentally, and I think he got the picture.
Sunday I texted all day with both Big Smile and Car Guy, and both brought a smile to my face. That night Car Guy and I got together for what was supposed to be a quick date because he was seeing his buddies later--but he blew them off to spend more time with me. Oh, he's so sweet and affectionate. But still manly about it. Here's the catch. I noticed on our second date that the shirt he was wearing was less loose. And, well, he's got a soft upper body. This was a surprise to me because I know he works out a lot, but there were significant rolls around the jeans. His arms are nice, though, which is a must. For now, I really like this guy, and I enjoy spending time with him. Our next date is for next weekend, and he tells me he's planning something great. The physical isn't everything, I know, and I am attracted to him. But I've never dated a guy with truly noticeable extra pounds on him, so it'll be a new experience.
Big Smile's also loosening up. Our flirt-texts have been funny and cute, and I'm seeing him tonight. He's got a nice, tight upper body, but he's less affectionate than Car Guy. Still, I hope to smooch him tonight :)
It's so odd that when I like a dude, I wind up liking 2 at once. Since I started the blog, it's been GL and SS, Darky and Smooch Boy, and now Car Guy and Big Smile. But I will take it! Makes it easy to spread my attention/emails/texts, etc. around and not focus on one guy too much :)
P.S. Oh! And before you start to feel all bad for Car Guy, he knows I'm dating other guys, and at least for now he's fine with it.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Before the date, I sent his profile to Loverville, and she reported "Looks like your type." I would have to agree. Awww, I'm feeling a little swoony just writing this blog post. Guess I should start the actual story, huh?
Cary Guy and I had a lovely dinner, filled with great conversation. We made each other laugh, we were suitably flirty, and I got to see his friendly, cute smile often enough to please. He admired my manners, and at one point he complimented me as "beautiful."
After dinner, we headed to a bar nearby, sitting closely next to each other. Car Guy's arm made its way around my waist. His hand found my leg. And somehow, with it feeling exactly right, we started kissing. He has great, soft lips :) I'm not a huge make-out-in-a-bar girl, so our kisses were mostly on the chaste side--but they were hot enough to pique both of our interests, I would say.
Car Guy walked me home, we kissed a bit more, and he made sure to schedule a second date before he let me go.
Soon after, the texting started--the good, flirty kind that I love. I've already heard from him today. I've got a sweet, satisfied smile on my face right now.
It'll be an interesting experiment. Loverville and I have often found that the guys who come on strong right away tend to "fizzle out" in the near future. So here we have Big Smile--with whom I've got another date set up by this point--who's more reserved, more of a quiet kind of guy. Then we've got Car Guy, who's flashier with his attention--who seems to be an action-taking kind of guy.
Which fella--if either--will turn out to be the one whose attentions stay the course?
Hmmm, I guess you'll just have to stay tuned ;-)
P.S. Oh! And I wore the new magic ass jeans, and I'm sure Car Guy appreciated them :)
Friday, August 10, 2007
So, here's my plan of action: If he doesn't get in touch again today or tomorrow, I'll send over an email or something. Since he was the first to get in touch, I think it's fine if I make the next effort. Right now I'm not sweating it.
And what about Smooch Boy? I caved and emailed him. He emailed back that he wanted to see me "asap" but that his life was pretty crazy right now. Whatever. His turn to get in touch. It's not like I'm dying by the phone for him.
I'm looking forward to meeting Car Guy tonight. If nothing else, I know it won't be a horror date. We've had a couple great phone conversations. Wish me luck!
Thursday, August 09, 2007
So now I'm in that annoying as all hell situation of waiting for the dude to call.
Big Smile seems like he'll call. I think he'll call. But he's a dude. You never know!
And yes, I'm delighted to meet Car Guy tomorrow, whom I've liked so far over the phone. But I want to see Big Smile again soon. Maybe sneak in a cuddle. Hey, maybe even a kiss.
I get the sense he prefers to be the one to call first, so I'm holding my tongue--and my emailing fingers--for now. But if a week passes by, I so don't want to be in that situation of being the one to email--and then getting the "let her down easy" email in return.
He said he wanted to hang out again. Let's hope he means it. Keep your fingers crossed for me? The thing is--I like him. I think he's a good guy. I think he's attractive. But I don't have that over-hyped up "crush" feeling that's all consuming and--too often--entirely fleeting. Basically, I'd like to make out with Big Smile.
Can I please make out with Big Smile?
But in the meantime, I think Big Smile might be on the list for a while longer. We had a lovely date last night! He's hotter than his pics--that's always a pleasant surprise. In his profile and pics, he comes across as a cute, goofy, dorky, sweet kind of guy. In person, he's not so dorky, not so goofy. We seem to have some key things in common, and we enjoyed each others' company. I've gotten so much better since I started this whole "Dating again" thing at body language. There wasn't a kiss goodnight, but he seems to be--like me--someone who takes it a bit slow. He said he would call, and he seems to be a guy who'll actually call. So let's hope to see Big Smile again :)
Friday's Car Guy, and Sunday's Forgettable. I realized that before last night, I had been on only one Jdate in over a month. Catching up!
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
The thing is--and Loverville alerted me to this fact--when you hide your online status, very few people view your profile. So every once in a while, I put myself "Online" for a few minutes, and I get viewed by a bunch of guys, and almost always I'll get IMs, emails, and flirts out of it. Last night, I checked my "Viewed your profile" folder after being "Online" for a few minutes, and oh!!! Oh, there was this guy who'd never shown up in my searches before, even though he fit my criteria. He's so cute, and he seems literate, funny, sensitive, genuine, but also fun. I haven't been so excited by a profile in a while. So I emailed him. And I waited.
We'll have to call him Please Oh Please, because that's what I was thinking while waiting to see if he would write back. And he did, this morning. I was so psyched! So I saw he was "Online," and I IM-ed him. He didn't respond. Then he went offline. But Jdate tells me he read my message.
So. Will Please Oh Please (hee, should we call him POP?) write back again? Or will I wind up wondering what went wrong now?
I want POP to write me back...Please oh please!?
Update: Ugh. POP keeps logging in without writing back for a second time--doesn't look good. It's frustrating, because I just sense we'd be a great match. I'm everything he says he's looking for! Grumble.
Monday, August 06, 2007
I had delightful phone conversations with Big Smile and Forgettable, and we've got dates set up. And I cut Pretentious and Latin Lover loose on IM. I've been through enough awkward dates now that I'm trying to trust my gut more when it tells me it's just not going to be worth it. There was also some cute texting with Car Guy, and I'm sure we'll meet up at some point.
- Car Guy: A nice, funny dude with a car. Hey, why not? After a fun phone convo, he's quite into CJ at the moment, and I'm supposed to call to schedule a drink.
- Pretentious: Yup, he's still around. Kind of. He's coming on very strong, but I'm not too excited about him. I'm supposed to call to schedule a drink, but I'm not rushing to.
- Big Smile: He's a cutie, and he's supposed to get in touch when he's back from being out of town.
- Latin Lover: This guy emailed to tell me my pics were gorgeous. Well, that's nice. But he started getting sensual right away, telling me how younger (he's several years so), Latin American guys were the way to go. I've been trying very hard to be open to new things, so I initially said I'd get together with him for a drink. But listening to my gut? I just don't want to. He's supposed to call to confirm. If he does, I'll tell him I don't think we're a good match.
- Biceps: He's got good ones in his pic, but I'm not sure how much chemistry we'll have on either a physical or emotional level. We'll see if he calls. He contacted me first--seems excited about it, but eh, who knows.
- Sweetie: This guy just seems like a sweetheart, and he likes pets. He said he'd email me this weekend and didn't. I won't be crushed if he falls by the wayside.
- Forgettable: I'll call him that because, well, I almost did forget him. He emailed me. I was on the fence, but emailed back. He's supposed to call today or tomorrow.
There's another dude I'm considering writing back to, but overall, it's a kind of "eh" lineup, besides Car Guy.
Smoochy's back in town after being away on business. His last text to me (while he was away) said "See you soon." We'll see if and when he gets in touch.--Cute Jewess
Saturday, August 04, 2007
What's more? If you sign up for a paying membership through Cute Jewess Tells All, I'll help you out with your profile. I'll tell you which pics I like and make sure you avoid the cliches and annoyances of most profiles. Loverville will vouch for me, I think. Every once in a while, she asks for my advice on Jdate emails :-)
And now to the juicy stuff: The break up with Darky.
God, he's great. Honestly, the whole thing could not have gone better, and I am endlessly relieved. When I mentioned that it wasn't working out, he wasn't surprised. Was it because he agreed? Or because he sensed that I was on the fence? I don't know. But I think we'll even be able to stay friends, which I sincerely want to do. Hopefully, we'll still hang out. We have a great time together. "Do you hate me?" I asked Darky. He replied: "You're a pretty hard person to hate."
Here's a question. I told Best Friend I was going to call Darky to end things. I personally would prefer to be broken up with by phone. Why get my hopes up for a great date, get myself all ready and cute, possibly give up other plans, and then find out the whole meeting was just to get broken up with? But Best Friend hates to be broken up with on the phone. She thinks the only proper way is to do it in person. Darky and I had been dating for a few weeks. We hadn't slept together. The phone thing felt right to me--and Darky didn't seem to mind at all.
What do you guys think? Should you break up by phone or in person? Or does it even matter? Let's assume it's a dating situation, not a relationship situation. Feel free to go into as much or as little detail as you like!
Friday, August 03, 2007
Ok, so I'm becoming slightly obsessed with So You Think You Can Dance. And this week, they took away I-Know-I'm-Cute Neil's shirt. Note to SYTYCD: Never put Neil in a shirt again. Ever. The boy should be constantly shirtless, all the time, even if you put him in a dance called "Shirt."
Yes, Neil knows he's hot, and that makes him slightly less so. But that's just being picky.
Some interesting Jguys have made the list--I'll line 'em up for you soon :)
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Last night was our first "private" date, at his place. I had been looking forward to it, as I have all our dates. He is still a sweetheart. We still have fun together. But the chemistry is just missing. We'd kissed before, but last night we full on made out. And it was not so good. Homeboy needs to work on his technique. At one point I think he was trying to clean my teeth with his tongue. All tongue, no lips. And when I tried to throw more lip into the kissing, I was basically kissing his outstretched tongue. So instead of thinking "Hmmm, this is getting hot," as a gal would like to think while making out with a dude, I was instead thinking "Really? That's what you're going to do? This is how you kiss? For real?"
Then we cuddled, which was great. He's so loving. The neck kissing? Fine. Shoulder kissing? Lovely. But I've got to stop it now before it goes any further. Already, I don't know how to do it. I'm just stumped! I mean, instead of "the talk," which I thought he might bring up, there was "the bad kissing." And what dude wants to start a talk when he's getting something?
So, now I have a feeling that any hesitations he had about my mixed messages are satisfied. He thinks I'm more into him now, because I went to his place. But really, I was just trying to figure out if we had chemistry. I thought being more physical with him would clue me in. And it did. But now...oh, I can't even bear to think about what I'll say!
How do you break up with a guy when he's not expecting it?! What should I say?
Oh, I hate this.
P.S. Meanwhile, Smooch Boy's out of town on business, but still sent me such a sweet email yesterday. I'll likely see him when he returns.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Um, so the Shrink thinks I'm only physically attracted to dudes I don't want to date. And the ones I do want to date, I'm not attracted to. He might have a point. Of course, he thinks it's psychological. Do I? Well, I'm not so sure.
I mentioned SS--"But I wanted to date him," I said, "and I found him physically attractive." Shrink replied--"But he was unavailable." I pointed out that I didn't know that until I already liked him--and Shrink gave me that one. He dismissed SmartAlec, though, as only a fantasy.
So do I agree? Not yet. Past history may show the trend, yes. But I promise--I truly want to find a guy whom I'm attracted to, but who's also nice.
What to do about Smooch Boy? We have a sick chemistry. Physically, we're just plain drawn to each other. But I suspect he may have some dickish qualities. For the most part, he's been sweet to me, but do I want to be only a sexual object? Then again, wouldn't that also be what I'm using him for? I don't want to date Smoochy, but I wouldn't mind some good lovin'. So I'm still on the fence as to what to do about that one...Honestly, a big part of my hesitation is stemming from the fact that I have a feeling if we had sex, he'd leave soon afterwards. That's never happened to me before, and I'm not sure how I'd feel about it.
Seeing Darky tonight...