Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Oh for fuck's sake. Why can't anything just be easy?

Ok, I'll spare you the details and email quotes from my talk with Good Friend and paraphrase. She has assured me about a million times that she would be okay with me dating Ex. Not only okay, but that she'd be happy that two of her "amazing," "smart," "witty" friends found the same in someone else. How sweet is that? It really warmed my heart, and made me feel so much better about the whole situation. After her millionth assurance, I said I'd shut up about it now, and that I'd leave it in her court to ever mention if she feels uncomfortable about it in any way.

So, easy, you think. Right?

Ex and I started emailing and texting on a regular basis. Adorable things from him, all flirty and sweet. I was probably less flirty, more reserved--but I felt I'd need to see him again to figure out how I feel. I'd need to see for one thing if I were still attracted to him when sober. But more, I'd have to see him without the mental/emotional block in place. I was so intent on not looking at him as a possible romantic interest before, that I'd need to be around him again while thinking it's a possibility to know how I felt.

But in the meantime: Text, text, text. Email, email, email. Whatever I sent, he zoomed right back.

Then I saw him again.
And I like him.

Don't get me wrong, we have differences. He's adventurous, spontaneous, open to anything. I'm...not so much. I know, I know. I can be a bit tightly wound--most often around someone I don't feel completely comfortable with. And when you're realizing you like a guy? It's hard to feel comfortable around him--at least for me. So on our second "hang-out" that could've been a date, but maybe was or wasn't a date--I have a feeling I came across as pretty darn repressed.

But still. We ended the evening with a goodnight kiss--longer than the "two-point-five" seconds he said I had allowed him before. I texted him after I got home. (On our first "hang-out" he had been the one to text afterwards--a sweet message I've still got saved.)

He texted back the next morning. It was...fine. I mean, I think it was fine. Just not as effusive as before. Then I emailed. I asked if he wanted to hang out again. He hasn't written back yet.

This was a dude who was writing me back 5 minutes after I emailed him before. Now it's been a couple hours. If I had to guess--I would honestly think he wants to be my friend right now. Just as I've decided I'd like to see if we're compatible as something more.

So, you see? For fuck's sake.
--Cute Jewess


jess said...

Here is some advice from a 30 something married,(that you probably do not want), chill a little and let him ask you out on a date. It sounds like you went into full pursuit mode after meeting him and he responded in full. See what happens when you back off. Let him be the aggressor.

Anonymous said...

Cute Jewess, chill. I have learned a BIG lesson this week. I have gone out on a couple of dates with a guy who was as eager as the Ex and then after our second date (which was fantastic), I did not hear from him for almost a week. This was a guy who texted me all the time and was sweet and complimentary and oh-so eager. And then disappeared for what seemed like an eternity to me! And *I* was not the eager beaver to start with! I was reserved, as you were.

Just when I was totally about to write him off, he called, as if it was totally normal and asked me out again.

So what's the lesson here? Men do NOT think like women. Men do NOT necessarily have a consistent eagerness. Men most of the time, do not meet our expectations.

And here's the thing a friend of mine said last night. She said that I want things to happen in a certain way and at a certain time - like it's my way or the highway. I need to chill and let things just take their own time.

So that's my advice for you. Take a minute to just unravel your tightly wound emotions for a minute and realize that it'll be ok. Promise.

Best Friend said...

Word up on anonymous' whole post. Concise, to the point and damn accurate.

Just chill...we all promise it'll be ok.