Saturday, November 10, 2007

Part Two.
I got to our designated meeting place on time, and Ex was already there. He rushed to help me take off my coat and instantly offered to buy me a drink. My eyes probably went a bit wide, and I'm guessing I went into emotional pull-back mode. This did not feel like a friendly hang-out. But I remembered what Good Friend had told me. That women can think he's interested in them when he's just being his "usual, charming self." But he kept complimenting me. Little things, but I don't know--I just got the sense that he was thinking this might be a date, or perhaps lead to one in the future.

I honestly can't quite remember what I was thinking at the time. Mostly, what was going through my head was, "Don't think of this guy as a dude. Think of him as Good Friend's Ex." I probably seemed somewhat uncomfortable. But then, I was. So I figured we'd go to a spot that's one of my "regulars" where I knew people, and where I felt sure we'd have an easier time just "hanging out."

That's when I had too much to drink. I hadn't planned on it, but I realize now I probably hadn't eaten enough beforehand. Then Ex kept ordering another round when I would have been ready to stop drinking. As will happen with the booziness, I loosened up. Ex sensed this, I'm sure. He asked me about our "date that's maybe not a date but maybe is a date." I hung my head, avoided looking him in the eye, and told him it wasn't a date, just hanging out. It couldn't be a date, because he was my Good Friend's Ex.

Ex protested that he and Good Friend had been "just friends" for a very long time. But I still hedged, and he relented. "Ok, we can just hang out," he said. "Are you having a good time?" I said that I was. "That's all that counts," he said.

But the hours kept on passing. Yes, hours. The date-not-date would last six and a half hours in total. At some point, he started telling me that I was "sexy." And meanwhile, I had learned that the guy is just a sweetheart. Kind, smart, passionate about what he does. If we had been on a date, it would have been a pretty fun date.

But when, at the bar, he kissed me, I pulled back. My head was fuzzy enough that I wanted to kiss him back, but not so fuzzy that I was ready to jeopardize a friendship over it.

He walked me home. And he kissed me again. And for a minute, I kissed back.

Then I pulled away, shoved the key in my lock, and yelled "Bad!" at him. I quickly forced the door shut behind me.

Minutes later, Ex texted me a very sweet goodnight, and said he looked forward to seeing me again.

I didn't text back.

Stay tuned for Part 3, in which I tell Good Friend everything the next day!

--Cute Jewess


acaligurl said...

darn it, sounds like you two are compatable. maybe good friend will be ok with the you and ex hangin'/ dating. LOL "Bad"

Samantha said...

Good story! Can't wait for Part 3!

Anonymous said...

I'm confused, why wouldn't he think it was a date? You guys met, liked each other, you called him to go out, and clearly spent the evening drinking and having fun. I think you are trying to turn this into a drama when the bottom line is you met someone that you like and decided to pursue him.

jody said...

He should be fair game for you since he broke up with Good Friend years ago. Looking forward to Part 3!

Cute Jewess said...

Why not a date? 1) We weren't doing a "datey" activity. In fact, I usually do it with RH. 2) I invited other people to join us--and told him I was doing so. 3) Good Friend assured me he wouldn't assume it was a date if I asked him to hang out. 4) I didn't mean for it to be a date--I hang out with dude friends both one-on-one and in groups and always have.

Anonymous said...

Good friend assured you? Whatever she says goes? You have a third party translating your activities? This woman use to date this guy and she is going to tell you what he is thinking? Juvenille. Sounds like you want to justify going out with this guy. This is not your typical dude friend, come on.

Cute Jewess said...

Yes, why would I trust the opinion of someone who's known this guy closely for 12 years now? Makes no sense whatsoever.

Anon, you seem determined to think whatever you want, and so sure that you're right. What would be juvenile (nice spelling, btw) was if I gave two shits about your opinion--so go a head and think what you want.

Anonymous said...

Oooh you got me on my spelling. I did have a typo.Perhaps you should check your spelling of Cute SacrAmento Singele, smart one. Btw

RedHead said...

Um, what?

why don't we leave harsh (and for the most part invalid) judgments of the blog writer out of our comments---not sure that it's very helpful, and it makes for much less fun reading.

This is a tough situation, CJ, for shizzle. But I think I'd like to refer back to what someone said a couple posts ago, which is, at this age, everyone one is someone's ex. And it sounds like Good Friend really is okay, or she wouldn't have asserted so. I think you are a really good friend, and you're allowing yourself to get hung up on the fact that while she said she'd be "okay with it," there is potential for her to not be... then she shouldn't say it. People have to stand behind their word or we couldn't ever feel okay about executing ANy decision. You gotta go with your gut, and it sounds like your gut is saying you want to see where this goes with Ex. Let's face it, we just don't often meet dudes we really jive with, the older we get and the more niched our interests and personalities get.

I say go for it, and if any teensy part of Good Friend has any issue, well she has to deal with it (but it REALLY sounds like she's cool with it and downright happy about it).