I hate SS. Because I like SS. And so far, he is pussying out.

However, both Hottie1 and Hottie2 have apologized for their delays, and go figure, so far they seem to be acting like gentlemen.

So far...

I'm still a bit scared of Hottie1. He's just so typically good-looking. AND also whip-smart, funny, and--it seems--nice. He's the kind of guy I'd imagine has a line of women trailing after him at all times. I'm going to have to go for the big guns--my own intelligence and sense of humor--to distinguish myself among what must be a very large group of ladies.

I'm looking forward to a frenetic, high-impact gym workout tonight. It'll be good to let out my SS agression. Yup, I hate him.

(Because I like him.)

--Cute Jewess

In search of some closure, I just emailed SS. Although I know the odds are not in my favor, the current waiting to hear back from him is AGONY. Without doubt, this is one of my least favorite things--if not my very least favorite--about dating again.

Of course, if he's anything like GL (whom I don't feel like answering questions about, FYI, thanks!), then he'll just pussy out and not respond.

If SS disappears, then I've got news for him--he sure missed out. Because I may seem shy at first. I may not put it "all out there," so to speak. But once I'm comfortable enough with a guy to (shall we say) take it to the bedroom...well, then that guy is pretty darn lucky. I enjoy having a nice figure. And I enjoy showing it off. I can be pretty sexy when I want to be.

So, the waiting goes on. Horribly. And the question remains: Will SS get to be a lucky guy?

Update: I emailed Best Friend that I got in touch with SS, and her response was just perfect:

"And as for [SS]... I know it's hard. I hate dating for this reason as well. The just sudden silence is just rude and unforgivable. [Former Dude] did that to me. (Of course I acted the fool with [Former Dude]) .You're not acting like that at all...but if he doesn't email you, that's fine. And if he does, wunderbar."

--Cute Jewess

The Nad-Sucker Report, Weekend Edition:

Did Hottie1 call? Nope.
Did SS call? Nope.
Date with Hottie2? Rescheduled.

Which allows for a total Nad-Suckage Factor of 10 out of 10.

Never fear, however! Much fun was had with Best Friend and the delightful LV--involving two nights of fun, food, and wine.

As usual, Girl Power fights Nad-Suckage every day and twice on Sundays.

;-)

--Cute Jewess

Questions for the weekend: Will SS call? Will Hottie1 call? Will I like Hottie2 in person? Or will he continue to be a bit...well...boring?

I've tossed a couple new Jguys onto the Jpile as well. Bizarro, who's attractive, but a bit...off...so we'll see just how much, and Tries Too Hard, who seems cute and sweet, but whom I'm not sure I should have emailed back. Needless to say, they're "maybes."

Friend life, however, is going just great. RH and I have been having some truly fun times together, and she's becoming my workout buddy at the gym too, which makes classes much more enjoyable. AND...drumroll...she wants to start her own blog! So if that does happen, I'll be sure to publicize here, and you can see just how different our dating lives are. (Hint: She actually gets some action.) I also told RH about the blog, and Best Friend too. Eeks! I'm out! So if they're here reading, Holla to my ladies!

PLUS, I don't think LV will mind my saying that she and I have become friends in Actual Life Land, and I very well might see her this weekend--how fun!?! What's that, you say? Two hot, single, spicy blogging ladies taking the city by storm? Why, yes, indeed--and that city better watch out!

If I think about it (which I'm so not doing, not at all, not even one bit, nope. Obviously.), SS is showing all the signs of "He's just not that into you." In which case, for sure, we'd have to change his moniker to Sexy Stupid.

I mean, duh!

--Cute Jewess

I just felt like saying that boys suck my nads, and that is all. The end. Stupid nad-suckers.

--Cute Jewess

I almost caved and emailed SS.

But I had asked the Shrink for his advice, and he said not to do it, so I'm not going to. His advice is usually spot on. I started seeing El Shrinko to help get over the FAF, and to try to figure out if I did the right thing by not marrying him. I'm now sure that I did. Not just because I'm dating again, but because I saw the FAF recently--and things are just plain how they should be with him.

Anyhoo, I had a point. So, if the reason I went to the Shrink is resolved...do I stay in therapy? For now, I'm going to. I'm still navigating a new life-situation, and it helps to have someone to talk to about it in Acual Life Land. I do think I'm pretty darn well-adjusted, with a healthy self-image, blah blah blah. But we all have our momentary lapses.

So here I am not emailing SS.

Hottie1 has my phone number. He better freakin' use it.

--Cute Jewess

The last time I saw SS, we were kissing goodbye. And not some little tap-tap kiss either.

Note to the guys of the world: If you don't want to see a girl again? Don't moan with delight while kissing her goodbye. If you do want to see her again? Friggin' get in touch and let her know. Wait, you already knew that, you say? Yeah, that's probably because it's not some secret of the dang universe.

Can you tell I'm still in SS limbo? We may have to change his name from Sexy Smart to Sexy Inconsiderate. But damn, why does he have to be so sexy?

I spoke to Hottie2 on the phone last night, and so far...I'm not feeling much connection. Where's his charming sense of humor? Where are the topics we've got in common? But we're set to go out this weekend, so I won't have to wait long to see if we're any kind of match.

Stupid SS.

--Cute Jewess

Here I am saying thank you again--this time for your thoughtful welcome backs! So many people have emailed me saying that weird as it sounds, they feel like they know me. Hmmm, could it be because I have such a shoddy filter between my thoughts and my keyboard? Y'all have been in my head for a few months there!

So it should be no surprise to you that I'm still thinking: Friggin' contact me, SS! He's been logging on to Jdate but not emailing me about a 4th date. I initiated the last email, without much of a correspondence resulting. Last week we're laughing and smooching, and this week...we're nothing? I don't get it. And this whole waiting thing makes me want to throw tennis balls at him. It's not as mean as it sounds--I have a really crappy arm.

The good news? So far correspondences with Hottie1 and Hottie2 have been going well. We're due for phone calls sometime soon. I confess: I'm a little intimidated by these guys. Especially Hottie1--because of his extreme hottieness. Don't get me wrong--I do have a healthy self-image. I quite like me! And I'm thrilled to say that as of last week, I'd reached my goal weight. So I'll hope to keep off those pesky 3-5 lbs, feeling fit and sexy! But still--really hot guys make me nervous. Scratch that. Really hot and smart and funny and successful guys make me nervous. The ones that are just hot I usually don't have much interest in (remember the Venezuelan?).

I mean, I'm not nervous enough to kick the fellas to the curb or anything...I just hope I'll be able to be myself during our phone conversations. You know how I get!!

--Cute Jewess (V2.0)

Wow. I inadvertently piqued your curiosity about GL, didn't I? I'm pretty darn sure he found the blog. And he has stopped calling. I believe that is that.

As to SS? We had another lovely date last week--I'm a pretty smitten kitten. And he won't call. He seemed to like me a lot, but my friends are saying that he's not acting like someone who's interested. The waiting? Is the agony. But I had a plan to take my mind off it.

That plan involved emailing some more Mr. Jdates. The two I liked best emailed right back. Now, one of them seemed so profoundly out of my league, that I had no expectations of him returning the message. But so far, our correspondence has been kind of fun. The other one also seemed like a long shot--but he took the plunge, that smart man.

Because I am not feeling very creative and only had 1 cup of coffee this morning, I will call them Hottie1 and Hottie2.

So yes, it looks like I'll be coming 'round here to let you know what happens with the 2 Hotties and my Sexy SS. And who knows, maybe even GL.

You all say very nice things to me. And make it very hard to disappear. So...shall we give it another go?

--Cute Jewess

*Whispers* Hi! It's me, CJ! *Whispers*

God, there are few things worse than waiting for a guy to call. Especially for someone as impatient as myself. Not GL, whom I believe is out of the picture. But SS. Sexy, sexy SS. He said he'd call, so I believe he'll call. But he sure could speed it up some more.

I miss the blog.

But I don't think it's very fair to SS (or to GL should he realize it's in his best interest to pop back up) to blog behind his back, no matter how anonymous it may be--or no matter what great things I may say about him/them. So what to do?

I'm contemplating a return. In part, because the comments and dozens of emails you sent me were so surprisingly supportive. Cute Jewess Tells All v. 2.0 would be a hell of a lot more like Cute Jewess Tells Some, but still as fun and charming as yours truly. ;-)

Not ready yet...but maybe getting there?

--Cute Jewess

How to say this?

There are a handful of people for whom--if they found the blog, and if they realized it was me--I would take it all down. Also, I would very much stop running off at the mouth. Because sometimes what I write is an instantaneous moment of thought that changes or becomes clearer just several moments later. And someone I know could read what I write, get the wrong idea, and then I've screwed up some shit, haven't I? The answer is that I very well may have. Because I can be an idiot. But see? CJ's trying to be much less idiotic!

When I started this thingie, I was pretty much a mess. How to start dating again after so long? Would I find someone else? Did I even do the right thing? My life changed entirely, and the chaos felt more orderly if I wrote about it.

But things are better now. I'm kind of liking this dating life. I'm enjoying being sexy and alluring--and finding parts of me that have been dormant for a long time. I wasn't dating for the sake of the blog. I was blogging to cope with the dates. Don't get me wrong--I'm still dying to dish. But other things are more important.

Some of you have already emailed me wondering where the blog went. That was fast! And thanks for your concern and support. It's very likely the blog will begin again, and who knows how soon. If you leave a comment here with your email, or send me an email at cutejewess@gmail.com, then I'll let you know if/when the whole crazy shebang returns.

It's been fun. It's also been torturous. But then, isn't that dating?

xox,
Cute Jewess

CUTE JEW of the Week

Zach Braff

This week's Cute Jew was nominated by GaterGirlintheCity. Zach never truly did it for me, I admit, but I appreciate his charm and humor. And he certainly does get some pretty ladies! A Cute Jew indeed.

I've got a few more Cute Jews in mind for the coming weeks, and come to think of it, I should include some gals for the guys, shouldn't I? Stay tuned!

--Cute Jewess