I had to leave an establishment tonight to stop myself from punching a girl in the face. I'm not exaggerating. I pictured my fist cracking this girl's cheekbone, and I wanted to fight her. She was crazy rude and verbally attacked me for 100% absolute no reason. She also physically touched me--and that's when I lost it. The word around the bar was that she was "psycho." But honest to goodness, I'm still feeling gypped that I didn't get to fight the ho.

Now, this is unusual for me. I feel anger, don't get me wrong, like any human being, when someone is being absolutely and appallingly rude. And yes, I have been known to tell those people off. But I haven't been in a physical fight since I was 12 years old. That might have been before I even knew Best Friend, my oldest friend. The dude was a bully. I couldn't stand him. He was so mean to me. And one day, I swung around when he was behind me, and I punched the sucker in the stomach. Hard. He doubled over. And homeboy never bullied me again.

So Rude Blonde Girl From The Bar, don't play with me. Because I will punch a ho. Just not in my friend's bar.

Okay, probably not anywhere. But wow, if this is what dudes feel on a regular basis, then I can kind of understand how fist fights start. So I will go to sleep now. And I will still want to punch that bitch. But yes, I will be glad that I did not.

I may have flicked her in the face. But she started it.

--Cute Jewess