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Sunday, January 06, 2008

My first Jdate of the year, with Blond (a new guy), will be next week. Generally (as I've mentioned before) when a dude suggests a place in his neighborhood, I find it an initial turn-off. Scratch that--the suggestion itself is just fine, if qualified with something like "Or we can meet in your neighborhood, if that's better for you." Blond did not qualify. To me, that initially says, "I'm not that considerate." Usually I will counter with "How about you come to my neighborhood?" But truth be told, I'm kind of sick of the datey places in my neighborhood. Often they're too loud, crowded, etc. So for this time, I'll travel to his neck of the woods, and if I regret it, then I'll know to look for new wine bars and lounges in my neighb. I don't expect anything tremendous from this date, but that's often the best way to go into these things.

I belive I have a coffee problem. I've always drank a lot of coffee, but I fear it's starting to screw with my dehydration levels. I'm always thirsty, and I wake up dying for water. Not great. I know I should cut back on the coffee--and I probably will--but for now I'm vowing to drink more water. Boy do I pee.

See what I write about when the year starts slowly?

In the next few months I will be planning 1) at least one party, maybe two; 2) a trip that will be both totally exciting and bittersweet (can't go into details); 3) the possibility of a new career path. So for now, I'm okay with quiet time.

--Cute Jewess

8 comments:

mimi said...

cj, significant thirst can be a symptom of many things, among them type 1 diabetes. you should have yr blood sugar level checked, if only to discount diabetes. but if by chance it is that, you'll want to get care immediately. don't mean to scare you -- you can check on the web to see all the problems thirst is a symptom of -- but at least exclude diabetes first by getting checked.
mimi

Cute Jewess said...

True--I know someone with diabetes. I highly doubt it's that, for several reasons, but I will check--good call.

Keith said...

New York is a big place with a mind-boggling number of restaurants and bars and places to meet up. Since you've put the pressure on the guy to come up with a suggestion of where to go on your first date, he's going to want to suggest someplace familiar to him that he knows will be a good first date place -- and he's probably going to be more familiar with places in his area than any other. He may not know of anyplace in your area, and he's trying to impress you by taking you to somewhere he has first-hand knowledge of being a good place. I would seriously think twice before calling it inconsiderate.

Cute Jewess said...

Keith, I do see your point, which is why I added the qualifier that the suggestion is fine, but it is much more considerate to then add "Unless you want to recommend someplace in your neighborhood" or something to that effect. Basically you're then saying, "But it's fine by me if you don't want the burden of traveling, which I will then take upon myself like a gentleman."

Keith said...

Again, guys are under pressure (which it seems that you are happy to apply) to make the plans for the first date. And we've been told time and time again that women like us to be the planners and make the decisive action where the first date is concerned. We'll make the suggestion, and we shouldn't have to include any qualifiers. If you don't like it, it's up to you to tell us otherwise, and a nice guy will usually be happy to accommodate you if you would rather stay in your area. Playing passive-aggressive destination games gets nobody nowhere quickly.

Anonymous said...

Drinking more water (and less caffeine) is something i recommend to all my clients, and the need to pee a lot generally passes in a couple of weeks after your body has adjusted and is adequately hydrated. Best, D

Cute Jewess said...

People are so quick to call anything related to dating either a "game" or "passive aggressive." I'm not trying to get him to say anything--I'm telling you and others that I find it significantly less considerate when a guy doesn't offer an alternative to asking a woman to travel. That's all. That's a "reaction." Having taken no action in response, it cannot be passive aggressive. If I wasn't willing to travel, I would certainly say something, as I have in the past. Passive aggressive would be if I then wrote back to him saying "Would you like to suggest coming to my area?" or something like that. Just take the comment for what it's worth--I find it much more considerate when a guy at least offers to come to my area, even if he doesn't have a particular place to suggest. Or if he at least acknowledges the fact, such as "I have a great place to recommend, if you're willing to travel." The end.

pt said...

i agree with cj. i also think the traveling thing is a marker of how interested he is. it is similar to the guy insisting on paying. if he isn't interested in making the effort and playing the male role properly, that is a signifier that it's no big deal to him. he'll let you pay, he'll let you travel, he won't walk you to the subway or put you in a cab, no big deal.