Some recent funnies:

Today I was reaching for my olive oil to saute with, when I noticed it wasn't there. After a search around my kitchen, I remembered. The olive oil was sitting on the bathtub rim. I had heard more than once that shaving your legs with olive oil leaves them softer than using soap. Recently, I put this theory to the test, shaving one leg using olive oil and the other soap. I did not enjoy the oil shave. Afterwards, both legs looked and felt the same. Plus, I had to spend time finding my oil in order to saute. Not great.

Speaking of soap. The other day, I was in my bathroom when I noticed it smelled like cat pee--unusually strongly. I figured I had recently cleaned the litter box, and so molecules of kitty pee must have saturated the air somehow. I sprayed my lovely Bath and Body Works room deodorizer spray and thought nothing more of it. Except, the next time I was in the bathroom, it still smelled like pee. I went about my business, washing my hands, and that's when I realized. My mother had given me a bar of aromatherapy soap she'd gotten in some hotel. "It smells like vanilla," she told me. Obviously, she had never actually unwrapped it. I don't know what soap maker thinks that cat pee is a therapeutic smell, but I must disagree with him or her.
I do not love my new soap that smells like pee.

--Cute Jewess