Friday, March 07, 2008

Does this make me a bad person?
Often on the Jdate, I'll get an email from a dude who is so much less attractive (or so much older, or all Beardy McWeirdy) than I am, that I can't help but think right off the bat: "Really? You think we're going to date? On what planet?"

I know, how bitchy does that sound? Honestly, this says more about how unattractive the dudes are than how attractive I may be. And yes, at heart I do believe in the "What's to lose" mentality and think that people shouldn't be shy about emailing others on dating websites. But still, sometimes I just feel like, come on now!

Wanna hear about my new bag? I went outlet shopping with my aunt, and I desperately needed one thing: A going-out bag. I have none. Mine are all too big. The bag would have to be petite, hot, and easily carried at the bar. Also, cheap. Very cheap. First I found one at Target that would do if it had to. It was a faux-leather black clutch with a wrist-band. It was good enough (eh, it's dark at these bars), and only about 14 bucks, so I got it. But then at one of the outlets, I saw this other bag. It was like the angels were singing to me. This bag had the kind of handle I like, was the perfect size, sleek and hot, and there was one left in butter soft black leather (the others were purple and white leather, ew). My aunt and I went to return the first cheap0 Target purse, and I became the happy owner of my perfect new going-out bag at the sweet outlet discount price of $30.

Happy girl am I.
--Cute Jewess


Cara Hurley said...

Re first paragraph, don't feel bad about that. I have had worse thoughts, such as:

"blaady 'ell, is my stock as wife material reducing?"


"What on earth makes such a gorilla think he has a chance with me?"

PS: Hey CJ, I was the one who commented about your dead kitty cat and asked you to consider doing an 'in memory' post about your late feline friend.

Do you think you will ever get another cat? No, of course not to replace the previous one, but just because they are soooooooo cool and amazing.



Cute Jewess said...

Thanks Cara, I do miss my sweet baby so much still. Yes, yes, I will get another cat. And I hope soon. It's ridick how much I loved my little buddy.

Single Girl said...

I guess they figure that maybe they'll get lucky and you'll give them a chance! Who knows what their reasoning is! Same thing happens at bars and I just want to be like, Seriously? Do you really think you and I are going to happen? I don't want to be rude, but at the same time I don't want to waste the guy's time or my time. At least online there isn't really any time wasted!

Congrats on the new find!! Those are always so exciting, especially since outlet shopping is so hit or miss.

doctorsquared said...

picture of the new purse, pleeeeeeease? :)

Oh, and totally don't feel bad about the JDate thing, I felt the same way when I would get winks/emails on Match from A) really unattractive, B) really old, or C) STILL MARRIED! guys. Like, "Um, did you bother to read anything about me???"

Cute Jewess said...

Considering this will likely be my go-to date purse, I was careful to avoid too much description or pics!

Anonymous said...

CJ, if on the surface it sounds bitchy or bad of you to make such judgements, it is not in reality. the whole process is set up as an impersonal and judgemental one. i'm sure a hundred guys are judging your pic/profile as much as you are judging theirs. (Beardy McWeirdy -- I love that!)

it is also very hard for people to perceive themselves as others do. these guys no doubt think they are normal, ordinary, regular, attractive guys -- when in fact they are delusional about that.

doctorsquared, i don't think the guys actually read. i think they look at the pictures only! your comment reminded me of one guy who contacted me, a medical doctor 15 years my senior who was married and had to stay married because they had a 10-year-old adopted daughter. his wife "didn't understand him" and so he wanted to conduct a meaningful affair. too bad for him that i "didn't understand him" either!

mimi of sexagenarian and the city said...

back in january, a guy i found SO unattractive was writing me -- i hated his moustache -- fortunately he was a 'never-married,' one of my 3 do-not-ever-date categories [others were republicans and smokers], so i didn't need to tell him how turned off i was by his looks. he had written an intelligent message and had read my profile carefully, so i felt i had to write him something, so i just emphasized the never-married and not the looks.... and yes, that happens often, the aspirational dating message....

Anonymous said...

CJ, I am not on any dating sites yet, but I'm 45, male, in good shape and probably will join a dating site in about 3 months.

I certainly don't care wish to cause any discomfort - but after more than 2 decades of marriage I'm pretty new to this scene. What's your opinion about a reasonable age range for somebody like me to look into? I guess I'm looking for the "ew" factor.

It seems to me based on the profiles I've read that 12 years younger is pushing it but might still be OK in specific situations (such as divorced women with children, or women who are looking for men who are more established), 10 years might be ok but it's still pushing it for many women, especially for those without children who have never been divorced.

The "sweet spot" is probably about 8 years younger and up to 2 years older, so in my case, 37 to 47. Anything younger than these ages probably would only work for someone who's looking for a sugar-daddy situation, and that's not me.

Based on your sense alone, does this seem reasonable, or completely out of line? If so, what would you recommend?

Cute Jewess said...

I think you're fine with 10 years. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

to the guy above, i think you are out of line by fixating on someone so much younger. why not have your main criterion be someone you are compatible with, not someone within a narrow age range. god forbid she be 4 years older. women lie about their age on dating sites because of guys like you. they become nothing but a number. unless you insist on having children, there is no reason to have age be any kind of criterion. and it is something women really hate, too.

Anonymous said...

hey anon

"Fixating" on someone so much younger? "Out of line"? "Guys like me"? Actually, since having children IS a criterion, I asked the question!

If you noticed, I spoke of someone up to 47 years old adn as young as 37 years old. CJ sid even 35 years old was reasonable. CJ said she doesn't like receiving requests from people who are too old, and since I don't want to write to people who aren't receptive to receiving my approaches because of MY age, not theirs, I asked the question.

Good luck in your search, anon.

Cute Jewess said...

FYI I might not publish more on the subject and shall use my discretion

Anonymous said...

Honestly, this is one of your more ridiculous posts in a long while. How is a guy supposed to know what you're going to think of his looks?! Haven't you ever e-mailed a good looking guy who seemed compatible, only to have your e-mail vanish into the ether with no response? Did you know he wouldn't like your pics when you sent the message? If you don't like someone who e-mails you, delete the message and make liberal use of the "block" button.
No guy with any self respect pauses to consider whether a girl thinks he is in her "league" before sending her a JDate e-mail.