Thursday, April 10, 2008

I just had the urge to tell my mom about Original Sporty. Ironically, despite this here HEY, LOOK AT MY LIFE! blog, I'm a very private person. Especially with my parents. The FAF was the first boyfriend I let them meet. I didn't tell my mom about him until we'd been dating about 3 months. The folks met him after almost 6 months. And they're just a subway ride away. I did not tell mom about OS, and I will not--it's too early.

It's been about three weeks with OS, but things feel like they're progressing swiftly. I've seen him 5 times already, and we have plans for our 6th & 7th time. He says I give him goosebumps. How cute is that? And yes, now we've had sex. Mmm, he's good. He says I'm amazing. I mean, so far, things are going well enough to make me nervous about how well they're going! He's pretty much the height of adorableness.

As to Hotness? Oh, Hotness. See, I saw him recently--before the sex with OS--and I had every intention of ending things. But...he's so, so sweet. And so, so cute. And I hadn't seen him in a while, and he said he missed me, and he was just so adorable. So I figured, hey, neither of the dudes has said anything about being exclusive. And I emailed Single (my single dude friend) for advice, and he said that if you're meeting someone online, it's often assumed you're seeing other people at least at figured I wouldn't be doing the greatest sin by dating them both for a wee while longer.

Except, last night, OS implied that he assumed I wasn't seeing other people. Well, there you go. I don't want to fuck things up with him. So despite the fact that I like Hotness too, I know I like OS more. But this is just gutting! Hotness has been expressing that he's really into me for a while now. And he has no idea that I might be anything less so. I don't say this out of hubris, just to reiterate that it makes it harder to break up with someone when you know they really like you. And what am I supposed to say? Hey, I like you dude, but there's this other dude I like more? I'm honestly at a loss as to how to do this.

Wish me luck, on all fronts!

--Cute Jewess


Single Girl said...

Ooh. Tough spot. But, if Hotness is really into you and you're definitely more into OS, it's only fair to let him know either that you're seeing other people still or that you don't want to see him anymore. Always put yourself in the other person's position and think of how you would want to be treated. So basic, but so true.

CJ is on a roll!! Glad to hear everything went well with OS in bed though! Isn't that a relief?!

Anonymous said...

i don't think you owe either of them an explanation. things tend to evolve over time and solve themselves. with internet guys, the rules are weird. you might find yourself dumping hotness and then OS will dump you the next day.

OS might have implied he thinks you aren't seeing other guys, but that is hardly a pledge that he will become a long-term guy.

mimi of sexagenarian and the city said...

this is the kind of problem you want to have.

i had a similar problem back in mid-feb with SDF and Plan C. you can if you're int read the posts from then to see what i did. but you want to figure out how you feel and to be honest with both men, w/out hurting anyone's feelings, or at least minimizing the hurt, because it sounds as if one of them is going to be hurt. as sg says above, think how you would like to be treated.

sappy, yes, but good advice.

Cute Jewess said...

anonymous, you're jumping the gun. i didn't mention anything long-term so far about OS. I just said it seems he doesn't want me to see other dudes. I'm a step-by-step kinda gal.

doctorsquared said...

I actually told a guy something similar to that - I was dating Nice Guy when Birthday Boy and I started seeing each other, and even though it was clear that Nice Guy was really into me, I thought that what Birthday Boy and I had was really special (and almost two years later, I think I was right!). But I said to Nice Guy, "Nice Guy, I like you and I think you're amazing, but I think that I have the opportunity to have something special with this other guy, and I think that I would truly regret it if I didn't take advantage of it." He was disappointed, but grateful that I had been honest with him, and we kept in touch as friends for a long time after that.

Anonymous said...

Assuming that you a) want to pursue things on an exclusive basis with OS, even if unspoken with OS and b) feel you owe Hotness an explanation then a simple I've met someone that I think has the potential to be something special and I want to pursue it and don't want to lead you on in the meantime would suffice. It will be awkward and no one likes to feel a bad guy, but you will be doing the right thing.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's spring.

Best Friend said...

Hey CJ,

just be honest with both. Tell them that you're still seeing other people, and that you're still taking you don't jump into exclusivity straight away...You already know that you don't need to limit yourself right this minute!

I'm SOOOO GLAD that you've found 2 good dudes to date!! And that they knew to date such fabulosity. :-D

Heather said...

Luck, Luck!! :) I'm sure it will all go well-you ultimately know what you need to do!


Anonymous said...

Personally I would send a brief email to hotness just kind of ending it. If I was os, and sleeping w/a girl I liked and assumed she was not seeing anything, I would find it icky she was dating others while sleeping w/me.

Anonymous said...

I think you can stop counting after 5 dates.

Cara said...

"Mmm, he's good"

Just good?
Not amazing? Not great?

Poor OS.

Cute Jewess said...

Anon, I think you can stop worrying about whether I'm counting after the first.