Thursday, April 17, 2008

Ugh. So today's stop on the OS Emotional Roller Coaster has me back at a low point. I just get the feeling he's not that into me anymore, and that sucks. He used to text me how much he looked forward to seeing me next, that he missed me, anything cute and flattering and sweet. I feel like those texts are over and done with. But they were what was making me feel so giddy in the first place.

It was such a nice feeling: Look at this hot guy sending me these sweet messages! He likes me! And I like him! How cool is that?

We're both busy until next week, but we talked about trying to squeeze each other in tomorrow for a little bit. In the "old days" (of like a week ago), I feel like he would have worked to fit me in. Now, I'm not so sure. It will depend on both our work schedules, I know, but something tells me it's just not going to happen.

As to Hotness? I'm surprised, I admit, that he's not calling to end things--that he's just doing the "never going to call again" thing. He had been so focused on being gentlemanly--insisting on picking me up for dates rather than meeting me there, not letting me even buy him a drink when I offered. I'm wondering whether I should call him to find out where he went. My gut tells me he met someone else. Also, I'm trying to remember that there were things about him that really turned me off physically, despite the fact that he's a good-looking guy. So on the one hand, I miss him a little. But on the other hand, I know I probably would have ended things with him anyway. So do I call? Or do I let him slip away altogether?

Ugh. I have a feeling OS is going to lead to some tears, folks.

--Cute Jewess


Anonymous said...

Do you really believe that he would carry on that way on forever. Seriously? Its one thing to court a woman and its another thing to put on a facade. I dont think the "cuteness" was really him because its already starting to fade. I dont think he is a bad guy but thats not really him. I think you will start to see who he his shortly (good or bad). Also, it could be that he can tell by the energy you are sending that you are stressed about this and he may be reacting by pulling away..

Why dont you stop worrying if he likes you and really think is he worth liking. Dont give him the power over you...just relax. Its really not that serious.


Jaclyn said...

Well, I guess my advice about Hotness would depend upon how good you are at juggling guys. I was terrible at this, so I only dated one prospect at a time (not because of any particular moral stance) but because I could not handle more than one developing relationship at once.

If you're not very good at juggling, maybe you should leave things alone with Hotness for awhile until you clarify your feelings or figure out where things are going with OS.

Best of luck to you.

Anonymous said...

I'm confused by your wanting to hear from hotness again. If you aren't exlusive then I'm not sure why you'd expect for him to end things. There isn't anything to end.

Cute Jewess said...

Oh that's not true. If you've been on five dates with a dude--and especially if you've slept with him--whether it's exclusive or not there should be some sort of phone call to say "This isn't working for me." I think even if you've been on 2 dates with a guy he should email if he doesn't want to see you again. More than 3 dates? Call.

Anonymous said...

I agree with CJ in that it would be polite and proper for hotness to actively give some kind of indication that he is no longer interested.

But I think that the rules are reversed when it comes to a relationship started on a dating site. It's implicit that if you don't hear from someone, that means they've gone awol. It's not as though you have common friends or a grapevine or any social context. Normal rules don't apply.

Cute Jewess said...

I disagree--I think if it's been a month, you've been on 5 dates, you've had sex, no matter how you met, you should call a person to end things and not just vanish. Maybe you can get away with email for online dating, but it depends.

Anonymous said...

I agree with CJ - someone with any sense of doing the right thing does not just vanish into thin or virtual air. And when you have been intimate you at the very least call or meet face to face depending on which you think will be less hurtful to the other person. There is such a thing as seeking to lead an honorable life which never becomes passe, even in the age of the internet.

As for OS - why not let him do the running for a bit, respond but don't initiate and in the meantime (the hardest part) try not to obsess about the frequency of his contact. You've spent over a quarter of a century (boy doesn't that make you feel old!:)) not even caring if he existed, it's not as if you can't go back there again. Hang in there CJ.

Heather said...

Oh boy! Hotness should have called-or maybe he thought you didn't want him to based on your last meeting?

as for OS...*sigh* one day at a time-i agree that you should hold back on the initiating and let him be the one to take the lead on this. R'ships are so stressful but the cuteness and giddiness shouldn't fade so quickly. Something doesn't quite add up with this situation. Try not to get yourself crazy-i'm sure you have plenty to keep you busy in the meantime! Good luck-I hope it works out better than what you're expecting.

Anonymous said...

If he should have called CJ to break it off, then shouldn't CJ have called him to break it off?

Cute Jewess said...

Heather, I agree--the sweetness ended sooner than it should have, and abruptly, and something does seem up.

And Anon, I was the last one to text Hotness, and he didn't respond. So since it's his turn to get in touch, he's technically the one doing the ignoring/vanishing.

Anonymous said...

Sorry about the way things worked out with OS (or are working out I should say), I know that is not what you envisioned.
About Hotness, why would you get in touch with him, espeically since you were not that into him and were planning on ending things anyway. It ended on it's own naturally, just be glad you don't have to make the awkward phone call. jessica

Anonymous said...

I think you are getting intimate way too fast, before you even know if the relationship is going anywhere. Ok, so hotness cooled down and may be MIA (after sex), and now OS is cooling down, (again after sex) and you are left unsure. Ffter several experiences like yours, I decided not to be intimate until I knew we were exclusive. If the guy balked than you know it is short term and a fling only. The last guy I asked (and it was a non binding conversation, basically, if we have sex, we should be at the point where we are not seeing other people), I married.