Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I'm in a funk. Should I write about all the things I'm in a funk about?

1) Drinks with Brill last night was depressing. Not seeing Brill--I love Brill--but basically everything else. First of all, I had no exciting news to share. No big developments over the past couple months to fill her in on. "I'm the same" somehow doesn't have quite a jolly ring to it.

Then there's her current predicament. She and her well-off fiance can't find an apartment they can afford in the city. They're looking for a 2-bedroom, 1-and-a-half bath. Reasonable, no? You'd think that's the least you need to settle down, start a family. At least, it's the least you'd want. "You have no idea what the prices are," Brill said. "No idea." So instantly, I started thinking how I'll never, ever be able to live in a decent apartment. Maybe even not in Brooklyn. Not the kind of apartment I'd want to live in.

Brill kept going on, until I couldn't bear it any longer. "Let's not talk about this," I said. She started to finish her sentence. "No--don't finish." She kept going. "Brill, if you love me, you won't finish your sentence." She kind of stopped then.

What next? Oh, she asked about the guys in my life, of course. And by the end of the night, she was saying "I'm worried about you."

2) Tonight's supposed to be Jackpot. I highly doubt it will happen. No confirmation yet, and he tends not to do personal correspondence at work. So what am I going to do--get all ready for the date and see if he calls me? Or just ignore the f*cker and sit on my couch all night?

3) Career. I've been working on a long-term project at work. I think it'll be successful, but I really, really can't be sure. In any case, it's going very slowly. And if it doesn't work out? I may have to look for a new career. What the hell would that be? I have no clue.

4) Wedding. One of my closest friends from college is getting married. In an expensive city that isn't this one. Will I be able to afford transportation/hotel along with gift? Not so much. Can I find a way? Dunno. But it's one more thing to worry about, and one more thing to despair that I can't afford. How fun is that?

--Cute Jewess


Michele said...

Ahh, you seem to be having the exact same week as me. I'm worried about everything possible. I'm trying to focus on the Jewish New Year and upcoming Yom Kippur. Maybe we're all just having the end of year funk/blues. I truly believe things will all be better just as soon as we get past Yom Kippur ... hang in there : )

Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare said...

I'm with you CJ. I have been avoiding catching up with old friends (especially the married or almost-married ones) because the "not much to report" answer to the "how are you?" question is getting REALLY stale after so many years. Same apartment with no hope for owning, same job with no raises or better jobs in sight, same cat. True, a different boyfriend but the same concerns with him that I've always had with the other ones. Blah, blah. It gets you down.

But....something exciting is bound to happen and all that will fade away before you know it. So treat yourself nicely in the meantime and stick to your friends who provide entertainment beyond "catching up" talk.

Take care.

jgo said...

Awww, sorry to hear youre in a funk. Hopefully things will look up. Lets start with hoping no guys stand you up. What kind of work do you do?

Samantha said...

Really sorry you are in a funk. :( It's hard not to compare yourself to people, but the truth is you can't and should not compare yourself to this girl. Everyone has their own life and moves along at their own pace. I hope you feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

sorry about the funk.. sometimes it takes looking at someone else's life to put yours into perspective. What makes for good blog reading does not always make for a happy life.

Cute Jewess said...

Anon, I said "funk," not "unhappy life." You shouldn't need to think someone else is having a bad life in order to feel good about your own. Ew.

Anonymous said...

sorry, I meant that the other way around. You out to dinner with a friend and after talking to her, realizing that you are not that happy/satisfied where you currently are. This is not about me.

Cute Jewess said...

I wouldn't say there were any realizations. Again, "funk" doesn't equal "unhappy life."

Loverville said...

Keep your head up -- here's hoping the funky fog lifts soon!