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Monday, September 03, 2007

Oh, people, I ain't gonna lie. RH and I just had a few. I am pretty drunk. Drunk blogging! Holla!

You know what? Boys are stupid. They don't realize how great we are. The minute something seems less than perfect--the minute there seems like there may be (God forbid!) work in a relationship they bail. Um...weak.

Anyhoo.

Friday night? Ha. Loverville and I set out on the town and found boys who were quite enamoured with us. They hearted us. But dude. They were twenty-three. Can't happen.

It flitted across my mind tonight: If I'm not gonna have a relationship with Big Smile, maybe I can just enjoy his giant penis. Because Giant Penis may be rare. And shouldn't one enjoy chemistry when one can? But...well...he doesn't deserve the pleasure. Douche.

So. Where is my nice reform or conservative Jewish boy who is attracitve and deserves me?

Fool's Gold: I know, I know. In another lifetime, perhaps.

Yes, I have a date set up for this week. Maybe two. Ehhhh, whatever. You'll hear if I'm feeling it.

Right now I'm watching a teenager holding a giant iguana on Jay Leno. See how exciting my life is?

And you wondered why you read this blog.

--Cute Jewess

5 comments:

jgo said...

Twenty-three is not happening? How about twenty-six? Whats your bottom age limit?

Samantha said...

Hilarious! Drunk blogging rules! But you are right about all of it. In vino veritas!

Cute Jewess said...

Jgo, I'd say 28 is probably my lower age limit.

Heather said...

LOL You kill me. Drunk blogging is definitely your thing. hehe

So, Big Smile has been renamed, Giant Penis? ;)

I'm sorry the boys in your life have been asses...I hope it turns around soon. Unfortunately, r'ships do take work...life just isn't that easy.

VJ said...

Best Drunk Blogging in Ages! Funny! When you get that upper age limit to the triple digits, we'll talk. (No screaming now, that's my job!) Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'