Every once in a while, I'll come across a Jdate profile that makes me want to hurl. I think, therefore, that I will start a new category of occasional posts called "Oh, Shut. Up." I'm not a big fan of pretentious sounding language (as you may have picked up on :) ). If your profile's language makes me cringe? I don't care how cute you are. Nuh-uh, homey. Case in point:

This guy's pretty darn cute. For that reason, I clicked on his picture. Soon after, I was prompted to exclaim, Oh, Shut. Up. Some quotes for you from this hurltastic profile:

"While debating 'real' issues can be stimulating, I can't help but be very jovial. I love to laugh and make others laugh harder! Life is too short to ponder indefinitely over curiosity and desire."

"The date will be an exploration of two minds that know little about each other. The location will be unique with much character and aesthetic appeal. The depth of the connection will be apparent, sending chills up and down each other's spine. The conversation will be meaningful and deep, along with a subtle flirtation accenting our words."

His ideal relationship? "Pure stimulation of mind, body, and soul will exist perpetually."

Who is he looking for? "I am looking for a woman with whom I can dance an ever lasting adventure."

Guys, every once in a while you'll ask me what to write in your profiles. Hell if I know. But take a tip from Cute Jewess, this is definitely what not to write.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some pondering over curiosity and desire to take care of before tonight's dance of ever lasting adventure.

--Cute Jewess