I will be fine.
But for now, yes, things are done with BS, and it sucks.
He felt it went too fast, felt like we were headed too soon into "this is my girlfriend" territory. He sort of sounded like an asshole when I asked him to explain himself, which makes it better. I didn't mention to him that another dude was over my place doing naughty things to me last night. How's that for "this is my girlfriend," Big Smile?
You know what? He's an idiot. I'm a great gal, and he should have been excited to be around me even after the sex. I called him on it. I said "You're one of those dudes." And he thought that was terribly unfair.
At first, he was intrigued, he said. But then his feelings changed. That's not fair. Yes, I'd rather this happen now than later. But there's no "good time."
I'm probably not going to want to answer questions. And I'll probably get testy if you leave douchy comments. Just FYIing in case I don't want to respond to comments (or in case I reply to douchiness).
--Cute Jewess
Back in the dating world. Oy.
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19 comments:
well that all does suck and I'm sorry that it went sour so quickly. you deserve better!!! and you will find better!
xoxo
He was an idiot. Cry your eyes out, or eat some ice cream, or go Tai Bo'ing or make out with someone else, whatever you need to feel good,
but remember that it's not tit for tat. He just is LL Fool J.
as shrink said to me at the end of Rolly, 'you probably dodged a bullet.' getting to know BS better would not have been satisfying. i think you got the best out of BS, the sex, and avoided the worst, his immaturity.
that's what flings are for.
it does suck, but lesson learned, early sex = goodbye sex.
I am so sorry it didn't work out the way you had hoped. :(
Even though you called me an asshole before, let me say that I'm sorry he made you sad. You deserve better.
Thanks for the good wishes. Just to clarify, I said you "worded your comment like an asshole." Not quite the same thing.
Dear CJ -
I realize that this will not be at all helpful right now since you have to mourn the end of your hopes with CS, but I think that you should be extremely proud of yourself for being strong enough to walk away from FAF when he proposed. A lot fo women would not have been able to leave a "good on paper" guy who was almost the one. They would have been too afraid of the prospect of not finding another potential husband, and would have settled. So dating can, at times, really suck, but you are extremely strong and eventually you will find a guy who appreciates that.
Best of luck,
Jaclyn
PS I haven't read any bad comments here (perhaps you moderate them) but what the hell is wrong with people who feel the need to criticize someone when they already feel sad?
I've been an avid reader of your blog since you started it. It seems like the ones who are not into you interest you but the ones who DO want you are not what you want. But don't give up trying, he's out there!
I'm sorry to hear it, CJ. But I disagree with some of the other comments-- I don't think the fact that you had sex early is the reason. It's been my experience that a guy who is crazy about you will stay no matter what the sex time frame, but the kind of guy who makes an excuse like it's "getting too girlfriendy" (when he's been a participant in it all along) is going to pull that kind of stuff no matter when (or if) you sleep with him.
Don't beat yourself up. Remember when you were on the fence about him-- it just shows that your instincts are good. :) Take care.
boys are dumb. you rock. someone else will be lucky to get you
Just back from hours of cheer up time with BF and RH--um, my friends rock :)--and here I come home to such nice comments. Thanks, folks. It's appreciated and it brought a smile to my face.
-CJ
I agree with Jody, but I don't think this phenomenon is particular to CJ. I think most of us experience it. It's all about "leagues." The concept mostly relates to looks, but can also incorporate career success, general "coolness", etc. We all know that we can't get someone way out of our league, but we'd like to reach up a little to someone in a league just above us. Similarly, the men/women a little below us want to reach up to us, but we don't want move down (would Darky have been a move down?). In the end, we probably end up with someone who is in the same league in which we are playing. I know it all sounds horribly superficial, but I think that it's mostly the way it is.
I agree with mysterygirl! If a guy is really into a girl, I dont think it matters when you sleep with him. As a guy, I do sometimes lose interest after hooking up... but I use that as a way for me to tell if I really like them or not. Why that happens, I cannot explain but its not meant to be malicious. There are other instances where I know Im not really into someone but I still want to hook up with them just for the action. I try to walk away from those situations as not to hurt the girl's feelings.
I did think that BS liked you. I guess I was wrong. Sorry CJ. Keep on doing your sexy thang.
For the record, BS was so not out of my league. When I decided I liked him, he was totally into me. So it's not like I liked him because he was "hard to get" or whatever that cliche is. It just wasn't the right guy. His truer colors came out later on.
I just think he's an idiot, and he is just playing the field. He has issues (we all have them) but he REALLY has no sense or compassion to know how to treat people he dates.
No matter. You see him for the cad he is. He needs to make like Michael Jackson and Beat it!
can i say though i love the conguation of the word douche. that made me laugh if nothing else.
Aw, I'm sorry! That toally stinks; I hate it when one minute a boy is all into you and the next they act like you're totally non-existant. But you're right - this is his problem, not yours, and there are lots of great guys out there who would give a LOT to be with you! So hang in there, and it's great that you have your friends to cheer you up at a time like this...
He so is one of those dudes. And for him to think it's unfair for you to say that just shows he's selfish and undeserving of you.
Remind yourself he's in one of those dudes! He is, he is, he is! And you are worth so much more.
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