The talk with Darky approaches, I think. He seems to be getting frustrated with the mixed messages I'm sending. I don't mean to be sending them, but it's a case of--I like you, Darky! But I don't want to lead you on too much. I'd like to continue dating him at this point, but I don't want to stop dating other guys. He wants to know how I feel about him--if I had to guess, I'd think we're having that talk this week. I want things to keep going as they have been, and I'll tell him that. If he'll only be satisfied by taking things further, then I will have to let him go.

There are a handful of Jguys on the horizon, but no one I'm particularly excited about. So I'll keep you informed on that as need arises.

--Cute Jewess

I am in love. And yes, it started online. The pictures were promising, but in person you never know! I met the object of my ardent affection last night, and let me tell you, I am swooning.

No, it's not a dude.
It's a pair of jeans.

Jeeeeeeaaaaannnnnnzzzzzzz!!!! The perfect pair of jeans. Bought online. It's a holy miracle.

Honestly, I was just taking a gamble--it had been so long since I'd found a pair of jeans in a store that satisfied me. Too skinny, not skinny enough, too low-rise, not low-rise enough, too baggy in the tush, too long, etc. etc. Also, $100+ jeans are not in the CJ budget right now. So I figured, hey, those look promising. I'll order them, try them on, and if it doesn't work out, I'll wind up sending them back. No big.

But I'm so happy with them! Yay jeans! Okay, not only do they fit my legs perfectly, but they have a special added perk: They are magic ass jeans. As I emailed Best Friend today, I am jealous of the people behind me on the street because they get to look at my jeans-enhanced magic ass.

So there. Once in a blue moon, you can find the perfect match online. I have a feeling this relationship will last a good long time :)

--Cute Jewess

What Cute Jewess is liking these days:

• Parmesan cheese
• So You Think You Can Dance
• Darky
• Cat lickies
• Texting
• Catalog shopping
• Fruity bottled alcoholic drinks
• Sink with no dirty dishes
• Anticipation for The Bourne Ultimatum
• Ravioli
• Hot sauce
• Trees
• Showing some leg
• The color orange

--Cute Jewess

Just for the record, Smooch Boy asked me out for the same night I already had plans with Darky, and I told him I wasn't free. There, satisfied?

No, I joke, really. I get it. I get all your concerns about Darky, and about whether or not I'll wind up hurting him, because I'm worried about it too. So, as one does with things that worry her, I brought it up with Shrink.

"I just want to do the right thing," I told him.

Shrink: Let me get this straight. You're not sure how you feel about him. You're looking forward to seeing him. You enjoy spending time with him.
Me: Right. But I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want anything exclusive with him.
Shrink: Has he asked you to?
Me: No.
Shrink: Are you at the point where it's expected that you'll just spend your Saturday nights together?
Me: Oh, no.
Shrink: So why have a talk now? You're unsure, but if you tell him you don't want anything exclusive, then he might withdraw, and you won't get a chance to know him better. You won't be able to find out what you feel about it.
Me: So you don't think I have to tell him anything right now?
Shrink: No, I don't see why you would.
Me: Huh.

And, in fact, I get what he's saying. If I were in the reverse situation, I'd probably ask--hey, are you seeing other women? So then why is it my responsibility to bring it up?

So my pledge is to be honest with Darky. But as to my responsibility to inform him: "Hey, we've been on a few dates, but guess what? I go on dates with other dudes too"....well, I absolve myself of that. How do I even know that he's not dating other women? If I want to know that, then I should ask.

--Cute Jewess

I have another date this week with Darky, and I'm looking forward to it. That's all I know about that. I'm taking it day by day, date by date. But right now, I want to see him again. I think about him more than I do about Smooch Boy, whom I'm just interested in fooling around with. I do hope I get to, though! Not sure when that will happen, but it's good to know he's in the ether out there, looking all hot and liking my legs.

You know what I want right now? A tan. I haven't been tan...well, in as long as I can remember. But it looks so good on a body! I have one of those fake tan creams, but I always hesitate to use them because they're so inconvenient. I picture my bed and couch with streaks all over them. But maybe I'll get inspired and try something out to diminish the whiteness.

Who Knew hasn't called yet. This happens a lot with Jdate guys. They come on strong, are thrilled to email/IM with you, ask for your phone number, and then vanish. It's early days yet, for sure, but if this one doesn't call, I think I'll write him again in a week or so. I liked his emails--he seems quite charming.

--Cute Jewess

I think we can cross Sarcasto off the list. We had a lengthy, fun enough date--the time flew by precisely because we share the same sense of humor, and we made each other laugh. He wasn't unattractive, and he complimented my figure, but still...for some reason, I don't think there was much spark on either side.

Odd, isn't it? I can't say there was anything wrong with the date--or with Sarcasto. We clicked just fine. There was just...something missing. And something I can't put my finger on. I tend to break down my feelings after a date to one crucial question: Can I picture making out with this dude? Sarcasto? Not so much.

I may add another Jguy to the pile, though. We've started emailing, but he's getting a tad pretentious. So we'll see if he sticks around significantly enough to warrant a nickname :)

Happy Monday, folks!
--Cute Jewess

And just like that, we've got 5 possible guys in the mix, starting with the 2 you know:

Real Live Guys:

• Darky: 4th date set up for next week. So far, he's been okay with taking everything slowly. We've only smooched, nothing else. I enjoy his company, and I like being with him. So for now, I will take that as enough for another date.
• Smooch Guy: Oh, he's hot. We've engaged in some flirty texting, and I'd be surprised if I don't see him again. But he's fling material. Hopefully I'll get some decent loving out of it. Lord knows I could use some.

Jguys:

• Sarcasto: Quickly we've gone from the IM stage to having a date set up tonight. I like that he's as sarcastic as I am, and I think we'll have a fun time.
• Cultured: He likes art, literature, history--all good things. So far, he talks an awful lot about himself. But he's supposed to call, and I think he will, so we'll see if there's phone chemistry.
• Who Knew: I call him Who Knew because he's one of those guys I didn't expect to email me back. Great body, highly educated, successful career, looking for a gal in her 20s. Turns out he responded right away, enjoys my sense of humor, liked my pics, and seems interested in learning more.

Well go figure!

Have a great Saturday, folks!

--Cute Jewess

Hmmmm. Darky. I am confused.

First of all, I continue to have rather naughty thoughts about Smooch Boy, and I will hope we get to rename him Fling Boy at some point in the future. But who knows when I'll see him again.

Which brings me to Darky. Oh, sweet Darky. He is just so nice to me, so adoring, such a gentleman. We do have a fun time together. But I'm still not sure how attracted I am to him. Loverville assures me that I don't have to know at this point, after 3 dates, what I want to happen with this guy in the future. For now, I would go on another date with him. And if he wants to have a "talk" or something, then I'll be honest. This isn't a guy I would like to date exclusively, and I won't lead him on otherwise.

But, it's not like he's complaining about the smooching.

--Cute Jewess

Last night was...nice.
First, Loverville and I hit a fun party, with good dancing music. Poor LV. She had to deal with me complaining about the weather--I don't do well in humidity. But overall, the venue was lovely, the crowd offered good eye candy, and it was the kind of scene that feels more rare than not in NYC.

And then...well...I ran into Smooch Boy. Smooch Boy whom I figured was out of the picture weeks ago, and yet who certainly earned his name last night. Boy, did we make out. It was pretty hot.

I find myself in a situation that's rather rare for me: I am physically attracted to Smooch Boy, but I wouldn't want to pursue anything with him relationship-wise. We're too different, and I'm just not that interested in something serious with him. But we certainly have some spark. Have I found a fling? I guess we'll see! I do hope so. Being able to get the nookie more often would make Cute Jewess a happy gal.

It's been quite a couple days for Real Live Guys, after the whole SmartAlec fiasco. Darky's still in the picture, and now so is Jackpot, the guy I liked weeks ago but thought would absolutely disappear. We're corresponding now. Will we meet? I do hope so.

I will admit. Having Real Live Guys tell you you're cute, sexy, sweet, smart, have nice legs, etc. feels pretty darn good.

As does kissing them :)

--Cute Jewess

Things are better today.

The more I learn about how much SmartAlec lied, the better I feel. Sure, I got duped. But that's much easier to cope with than thinking there's this great guy out there with whom I could have had a great relationship--but who's just unavailable.

So, my work begins to fill the coffers again. I chatted with a very cute Jdate guy yesterday, and we'll see if something comes of that. Remember Sporty? The final member of the original Awesome Foursome? Well, he's been off Jdate for a while now, with no words of parting to me. But I know he's out of town until late August, so maybe he will get in touch when he's back. He seemed very interested. But if not? Eh, there will be more.

I had a lovely night last night, including time spent with both RH and Best Friend. And tonight, Loverville and I will be painting the town that saucy color we like.

So, the life and times of Cute Jewess go on.

--Cute Jewess

Oy. Yesterday I was feeling absolutely emotionally drained. I'd gotten plenty of sleep, and yet I was exhausted all day. I must have had about 5 cups of coffee, at least. It was that kind of bone tired, where all you want to do in the world is lie down. But other commitments wouldn't let me do that.

So yes, SmartAlec is still affecting me. I did today what I needed to do to get closure for myself. I hope the intensity of what I'm feeling fades very fast.

Darky continues to be lovely. Our next date will be this week. I don't know if going out with him is a good idea. Our last date was fun, I enjoy being with him, and I think he's cute, but he doesn't give me butterflies. I don't want to lead Darky on if there's not enough there, but I'll know more after this week, I think. He's planning something quite romantic. I will see how I feel about him afterwards.

For now, I'm still tired. Still drained. Still stunned. Still hurt. Still confused. But I still anticipate that I will feel better soon.

--Cute Jewess

A sketchy update.

Darky is not out of the picture. If I were a betting gal, I would say he'd ask me for a 3rd date. I just wish he gave me butterflies.

As to SmartAlec? Goooood Lord. What an emotional roller coaster these past few days have been. I am literally spent. I haven't liked a guy this much since I can remember. And boy, am I disappointed right now. Hurt. Completely confused. But I know I will be okay. Give me a couple days. Don't worry for Cute Jewess.

I trust easily. And I'm okay with that. I don't even feel stupid--I'd rather trust too much than not enough. I even think that someday I'll find the right guy to give that trust to.

--Cute Jewess

Ha. Certain things about men are soooo predictable. No trespassing on my land! That belongs to me! Mine!

I had a lovely date with Darky the other night. Darky sure does like him some Cute Jewess. Darky is a very nice guy, and I enjoy his company. Is there spark? Yes, a bit. How much, I'm not sure.

But then there's SmartAlec.

And yes, for a hot minute there, it looked like SmartAlec was just like SS, only worse. Deeper issues. Even less emotionally available. Oh, how I despaired.

But then SmartAlec found out about Darky.
Well, SmartAlec couldn't have that.

Realizing I might slip through his fingers, SmartAlec has stepped up his pursuit. Has said, screw my problems. I adore you. I would like to shower you with affection, please.

So who will win out in the end? The sweet Darky? Or the troubled SmartAlec? I know where my heart rests at this very moment, but trust me--I'm more curious than you are to see what will happen.

--Cute Jewess

Darky is getting me out of the house tonight.
For this, I am grateful.

Sitting by the phone and computer waiting for SmartAlec to get in touch has been tough. I expect him to contact me tonight, but I can't be sure. And sitting there waiting for it would be agony.

Plus, when (if!) he did drop me a note tonight, I'd be so tempted to write back right away, that I'm sure I would. But that's probably not the best idea. I don't want him to know I've been waiting for him.

So instead of the waiting, I'll be having drinks with a boy who wants to kiss me. And we'll see what happens.

--Cute Jewess

While I continue to be in limbo with SmartAlec, Darky has entered full pursuit mode. He really is quite sweet. So we're working on setting up a date.

There are other Jguys I could get back in touch with. There are other Real Life Guys I could get in touch with. And I emailed a new Jguy today (which, of course, could come to nothing). So, I'm working on keeping myself occupied. But oh, being courted by SmartAlec was such a delight. I hope it hasn't ended.

I miss him.

--Cute Jewess

Ok, yes, I realize you might be confused about SmartAlec. For now, I will keep the details vague, but I will tell you how I'm feeling. In the future, perhaps I will be able to be more specific. But I like this guy, and I have learned to write sketchily about the good ones.

I don't know what's going to happen with SmartAlec. I got my explanation. It was certainly valid, and one I accept. I do not know, however, when I will see him next. He's going through a tough time at this moment. If you were around when I was writing about SS? Part of me thinks, "Oy vey. Not this again."

But the circumstances are very different. So what am I feeling? Right now, I'm waiting. By the phone. By the email account. That horrible, horrible limbo feeling waiting to see what happens next. I may be setting myself up to be hurt, in fact. But it's something I have to do.

There's something special about SmartAlec, and if I'm going to give him a shot, I might have to make some compromises. We have an odd but strong emotional connection right now (no sex, I'll tell you that much). I have no idea where it's going. I'm scared to bits that I'll wind up crying over him, for who knows how long.

Still, I will see this through.

As to the Brazilian? It hurt. Not as bad as I anticipated, but for longer than I thought it would. That's some after-smart! Also, those things are expensive, and I didn't even think she did a great job. I may have to revert back to my trusty razor. If I do it again, though, I'll be scouting for a new location.

A new location to receive the wax, that is. Not a new location on me to wax ;-)

--Cute Jewess

Hmmm. How to blog about this?
If you've been with me for a while here, you know I ran into some...trouble...a few months ago about being too open on these pages. I stopped blogging for a short time, but then returned, vowing not to let my impulse to share impact the people about whom I was sharing. Most importantly, me.

Enter SmartAlec. He's been courting me like a dream. The things he tells me...you couldn't imagine anything sweeter. But for the first time, his actions are not matching his words. Everyone deserves one "free pass," so to speak. I await an apology, and an explanation. What could I expect in the future--the solicitous, romantic SmartAlec? Or the inconsiderate one?

Without explanation, I can't answer that yet.
Part of me wishes I were less smitten. But most of me enjoys the feeling of a new crush. We'll just have to see whether the crush turns into something more.

--Cute Jewess

In less than an hour, I'm going for my first ever Brazilian wax.

You know I rarely curse.

I am scared shitless.

--Cute Jewess

Kissed a boy last night at a party.
You know the kind--"Let me stick my tongue out and see what it hits."

I miss SS's kissing. He had such nice, pouty lips. But Darky--I'll call him that because he's tall and olive-skinned. Also, it sounds very un-PC, and that makes me feel rather naughty--Darky was sweet, with a big, happy smile.

Apparently, I have a magic drink margin. There's a certain equation of Type of Drink + Number of Drinks / Hours = Perfect Flirty Cute Jewess. Man, I was flirtastic last night. Sharp, funny, teasing, and in no way too tipsy. I wish I could nail that equation down! My life would be a helluva lot more fun, then.

Darky started texting me the moment we parted. I wouldn't be surprised if he called, and I'd go on a date with him. But I started to think, by the end of the night, that he wasn't that cute. Still, height and sweetness can go a long way.

At least to a date, that is. We'll see!

Smooch Boy also tried to get me to hang out last night, albeit somewhat half-heartedly. What's up with that?

--Cute Jewess

CUTE JEW of the Week

Paul Rudd

If you've seen Knocked Up, then you know Paul Rudd is looking FINE in that film. He's also funny as hell. Crush time.

--Cute Jewess

I'm not gonna go into details, but there's a possibility that Jackpot might email me within the next few days! (I'd feel safer if I don't link to his posts--so I guess search the archives if you don't remember).

Hope with me! Oh, I want him to get in touch!

--Cute Jewess

Happy 4th, people!

So, what happened? I met Good Phone. Our date was nice, he was attractive, and I enjoyed his impish smile. Now, it wasn't perfect, mind you. Good Phone had a habit of asking me a question and then, before I could fully answer, interrupting with a story of his own. His stories are interesting, and I enjoyed them, but boy, he was a talker.

I knew the interruptitis might turn me off in the future, but after our date, I was optimistic. He seemed, at the end, to want to see me again. I wanted to go on a second date. I found out the next day that he did not. He emailed me his thanks for a nice night, but said he didn't feel a connection.

There you go. With my date with SmartAlec on the way, my time of the month, and whatever else you want to attribute it to, I started to feel very not cute! I hate that feeling.

My night on the town with Loverville yesterday was fun, indeed, but there weren't many flirty cuties to speak of. Still, I got to test drive my Date With SmartAlec outfit. I'm feeling better about it now--I got a hearty thumbs up from the girls and boys alike.

There's a small possibility I'll meet another of the Awesome Threesome (or, really, since Hot Piece has vanished, it's more like the Datetastic Duo) this weekend. We'll see!

--Cute Jewess

Grrrrrrrrrrrrumble.
First of all, it's my time of the month. I don't know if you're like this (gals), but I always get a bit more down, or easily depressed, at this time. So bear with me.

My ego took a blow today. I'll tell you the story another time, promise, but one of my guys is now off the list, by his choice. I'm trying to toughen up my skin, trying not to take it personally, trying not to sink into "Ugh, I'm not cute at all. Except maybe my figure, which still can look pretty hot when I want it to."

Tonight Loverville and I are painting the town a deeper shade of crimson--something we haven't done in a while! Cute Guy Out There, please flirt with me so I can feel a bit better. At the very least, I hope to dance up a storm. I'm testing out the outfit I want to wear to meet SmartAlec, so we'll see if it gets some good reception.

Busy week ahead!!
Enjoy your Fourths of July, nice people.

--Cute Jewess

Yay!
Good Phone wants to set up a definite night for a date. I'm looking forward to this one. On email/profile, he's an interesting guy, if a bit formal. On the phone, he's got a much better sense of humor--similar to mine--and he comes across as kinder, too. Also, nice voice :-)
I should be meeting him before SmartAlec, but both are coming up fairly soon now.

Yes, I'm still nervous about SmartAlec. Chief among my concerns: 1) If we don't click in person, there go my wonderful emails. 2) If he doesn't find me attractive, I worry I'll take it personally.

I know, I know. It's just that my self-esteem seems to vary to extremes. One day I'll feel cute as anything, and the next day all I'll be able to see are flaws. SmartAlec is very typically handsome. In fact, that's not usually my type. You know I like 'em slightly dorky. I know for a fact that he's enjoying my humor, my smarts, my correspondence. I know he's enjoyed my photos. But what about me? In person?

Don't get me wrong--there's every chance I won't like him in person. But that's easier to prepare for.

Smiley never called after our date, but that's okay. I wasn't particularly wowed by much chemistry between us.

Alright, kids. Continuing the Jdate whirlwind purely for your enjoyment. Although, if some dude wants to throw some enjoyment my way, trust me--this chick won't argue. Come on, Jguys. Excite me, please!

--Cute Jewess

Just a quickie to update on a new Jguy: Good Phone.

Good Phone was just a blip on the radar until we had such a fun phone conversation. He's funny, smart, and comes across as good-hearted, too. We didn't schedule a date right then and there, which could be a red flag, but he said he would like to get in touch to schedule a drink. Hmmm...will he?

That's the question of the day, isn't it? I'm giving it a 60-40% chance that he won't, but I will hope to be surprised. Would be a shame to see this one go.

But then, isn't that what always seems to happen?

Don't worry, I'm not bitter yet. Still sunny and optimistic about this whole dating thing. For now... :)

--Cute Jewess