Monday, May 14, 2007

Okay, before you think I'm complaining, let me just stress: not complaining. But Loverville and I have been emailing of late about "juggling" guys. Her tried and true method has been to load 'em up, and I very much get that. More guys means less focusing on one in particular. It'd be a hell of a lot easier to get my mind off SS, probably, if there were a few other guys I was also interested in.

That said, I confess: Corresponding with too many guys at once makes me feel panicky. I'm not sure why. I just get this nervous tightness in my chest--and I feel rather overwhelmed. After all, for 5 years there was just ONE guy in my life--and that doesn't seem so far in the past.

Let's say I'm corresponding with/scheduling dates with 4 guys. That's about my comfort limit. I don't need the notebook to keep track of where I am in each conversation, or when the date is scheduled. Four guys at once? Do-able. Eight guys at once? Panicky.

Somehow, despite being somewhat careful to keep the number down, I got up to 8 guys at once. So, I guess, it's time for a Jupdate, no?
  • SS: Need I elaborate? I like him lots.
  • BCD: Will likely see Big Cute Dork this week, or at least try to.
  • Eager Beaver: Also this week. Supposedly. (You know how these guys cancel! This one, however, I think will not.)
  • Cute Doc: Despite never having similar schedules, we're still trying to work out a 2nd date.
  • Hottie1: We'll see if he calls. If he doesn't? I haven't quite given up on him yet--I'd give him a final call someday, but I'm not rushing.
  • Maybe Guy: We've been back-and-forth emailing for a while. Will I meet him? I don't know. Do I care? Not so much.
  • Picky: This guy's new. He's one of those who describe themselves as "picky" in their profiles. As if, only the really great girls need apply, so beware if you're "just average." This generally ticks me off, so I'm on guard. But he's also really funny, so that's a big plus.
  • Tall Dark: Also new. He seems like a good guy, if a tad goofy looking. But sometimes I like that, so we'll see.

Would I prefer having no guys to having a passel (and how cute is that word)? No, of course not. But I'd also just love to be able to see SS more often. To know he's thinking about me. To hear from him. I think, at heart, I'm into monogamy. But in the meantime, I will "get my date on" and see if any of these guys are worth holding onto.

More fun for you guys, I'm sure ;-)

--Cute Jewess


Jeremy said...

What happened to Hottie2? I think you need to press the issue with some of these guys more, ie enough with the e-mailing, IMing, etc and cut to the chase. Meet the guy and see what you think. Isn't that ultimately what the goal is?
OK, that's my unsolicited 2 cents. I will now go crawl back under my rock.

Cute Jewess said...

Remember? BCD is the Jguy formerly known as Hottie2. Once I met him, I realized the name wasn't quite appropriate.

I'm in no hurry right now to cut to any chase. Whatever pace these guys want to go at is fine with me. Except for Hottie1. He should call/email and ask me out this instant, no matter how busy he is. And SS, who has a great thing right under his nose and just needs to realize that!

jgo said...

I do the same thing as you CJ, which is date a lot of people at once. But Im not that picky and I like to give people a chance. The problem is that after I meet them, unless they are a definite "NO" then I go out with them again. One date leads to two then two leads to three and so forth but the problem is I never make decisions. I also start testing the physical chemistry as well (hooking up yes, sex no) but then I also start getting guilty about the multidating thing. I guess what I really want to find is someone who i click with really well and then be monogomous with but that never ends up happening. Any advice?

Anonymous said...

Hey, CJ, I hear ya. I was in a similar situation when I was doing the online thing, which I stopped doing because it was fruitless and exhausting.

The list tends to go down really quickly. There is a huge attrition rate. So by Memorial Day, these 7 guys (not counting SS, who is in a separate category) will likely be down to 0.

I know you hate advice, but here is my experience: Initially I gave everyone a chance. If he really wanted to meet me, I was game. Then, seeing how horrible the whole experience was, I started crossing off everyone I disliked on the phone or felt ambivalent about. That curbed the overwhelming numbers and left a semi-higher quality of guy. Not that I had success with those, which is beside the point.

Jeremy said...

BCD = Hottie 2.Oh yeah. Hmm, maybe I need to keep a notebook to keep them straight!

As for SS I agree. Maybe he is just a slow learner; the important thing is that he learn!

Cute Jewess said...

jgo, advice? Jeez, I dunno. Isn't that just dating--seeing if you like someone, then moving on if you don't?

e.b. said...

Complaining? No - to be it sounds like you are trying to have fun AND keep track of it all - which seems really impressive. Best of luck and oh have fun!

acaligurl said...

have fun.

a&v said...

I also get panicky when I have to juggle. It's good for us, though, so onward!

M said...

Check this out Cute Jewess (not spam)

Amishav said...

Whoa...*! You really must be a CUTE jewess! :)