Luckily, it's Shrink day. And yes, he made me feel better. All these guys not working out, I told him. Surely some of it has to be me? He dismissed that straight out with SS. He likes you, Shrink told me. He's just very troubled. With BCD? Shrink was as confused as I was. But I had told him that BCD and I were very different in many ways, we had different interests, and maybe even different goals. When all's said and done, we were probably not a perfect match. So why wouldn't BCD think this too, Shrink asked?
When Shrink tells me things, I listen. Even if it's the same stuff my friends tell me. Why? Maybe because I see him as an authority figure. Or an expert. Or because hey, I should get my money's worth. But whatever the reason, when he talks, I listen. And I'm glad I do.
Shrink thinks (hee, rhyme) that I tend to overlook or forgive the faults in others while being particularly hard on myself. That I think everything is my fault. That I should let more things roll off my shoulders. BCD doesn't want to see me anymore? While I'm saying--"What did I do?" Shrink's saying "Fuck 'im."
So here it starts. Project Roll Off My Shoulders. Shrink says I should think of this whole dating thing as an adventure. Have more fun with it. And so that's what I'm going to try to do.
When I get really upset, I can't eat. My stomach closes up. Today, I'm indulging in comfort food. Peanut Butter Tofutti Cuties, a Newman's Own chocolate bar (it was just eh), and my all time favorite frozen dinner. Oh, it's so yummy. California Pizza Kitchen BBQ Chicken frozen pizza.
So no, I'm not profoundly upset. Just a bump in the road. But man, can the road please have a destination somewhere?