Ok, before you read--and definitely before you comment--if you haven't yet read this entry, please do. And maybe the first paragraph of this one too.
Thursday night over dinner, SS said to me: I don't think we should see each other any more.
God, what a sad sentence. I enjoy his company so much. And I didn't even get to see those sexy muscles without that pesky clothing covering them up. I felt a plunging in my chest, as if my stomach had no bottom.
SS went on. You're attractive, he said. Smart, funny, and "pretty much awesome." (See? I told you he was smart.) But he's going through some personal issues--the kind that might keep him emotionally unavailable. He may not be relationship-ready, he said. And I deserve more.
We left things with a decision in my lap: Casually date SS? Or say goodbye to SS? And so my thinking began. One thing I knew--by instinct alone. I did not want to give up SS. But there was more: I just started dating again, myself. After 5 years. Am I really ready for an exclusive, intense relationship? Well, no. I can't say for sure that I am.
In fact, what sounds kind of exciting right now is something no-strings...with someone I'm very physically attracted to. Hmmm. Maybe this situation with SS will be just what the Luv Doctor ordered. He needs to loosen up. I could use some loosening up. Why not loosen each other up? We're just going to date. No pressure. Nothing serious.
Meanwhile, I've got Hottie2 and Eager Beaver lined up for this week. And it's Hottie1's turn to call me back--which I'm not waiting for especially because he's usually pretty darn busy during the week.
SS is also supposed to get in touch to schedule our next date. I do regret that I don't think he'll ever call or email as much as I'd like him to. But I'm willing to try this out and see where it goes. In fact, I'm kind of looking forward to it.
I debated whether or not I should disable comments here, and I still may do so. I don't want to hear if you think this is the right or wrong choice. Or about the guy/girl you tried this with--with whatever result occurred. No context. No other similar stories. No "here's what I think." Just going forward. If I delete your comment rather than publishing it? Please don't be offended. I'm reserving the right to be particularly sensitive about this one. Also, if you ignore my pleas and give me your advice, etc.? Then I'll just be pissed, even knowing you mean well.