Sunday, May 13, 2007

To all the moms in the house: Happy Mother's Day!!

Last night I went to a birthday dinner that was just lovely. Nine women, superb food, and some delish wine. What was especially nice was that I got to see Brill, whom I haven't seen since February. I caught her up on all the goings on with SS and company, but more importantly, I explained that the FAF and I are just fine now. That finally, I realized I had done the absolute right thing. Brill looked relieved. "You weren't yourself," she said of those first few months after the break up. "You were putting on a good face, but you really just weren't yourself."

The only bad part of the evening was my phone. As in...I kept checking it. Because maybe Hottie1 texted? Or called to see if I was free? Or...unlikely as it may sound...maybe SS had gotten in touch! But no. Of course not.

Both of them are on the brain. SS, of course, more than Hottie1. Not knowing when I'll see him again isn't a pleasant feeling at all. But I promised him--and myself--patience. So as hard as that is, I'm working on accepting the situation for what it is. That at ths point, he's not going to be reaching out much. That maybe I'll have to do more of the work. And that, ultimately, it's possible this just won't work out. But if I let my mind wander to the what-ifs, not much good comes of it. So no what-ifs. Just waiting.

I spoke to BCD on the phone this weekend, and it looks like we'll probably meet up next week. But...well...he's kind of a downer. He's in a tough spot in his life as well--what is with these guys!?!--and so he's not that happiest guy in the world, and it shows. But I'll give him another chance, and I'll hope we have a lovely time. So there!

Eager Beaver's next week too--meh. I don't get the feeling that this will be a luv connection, but I'm willing to give him a shot. Why the hell not?

How happy will I be if SS gets in touch next week? I will hope. But not too much.

--Cute Jewess


Anonymous said...

You know, it's funny.... sometimes I notice trends in a lot of the men I go out with, especially after I've recently broken up with someone else. It's like, I keep meeting the same "type" of man with the same "issues" and it pisses me off.

Maybe it's a GOOD thing that these guys are not totally willing to commit right now. They too sound like they are putting on a "brave face", due to something recent that they have gone through emotionally. You all kind of have that in common?...

I once went through a broken engagement. I discovered that long after I was actually OVER the guy who I left, the pain of that kind of break stuck around for a lot longer than I had expected. It didn't even really have anything to do with the GUY, more like the experience of mental whiplash, or residual emotional breakage that I carried around for a while. Until finally, it just dissipated on its own.

It's cool that you are pushing yourself (in a good way) to get over all this and get back out there. And sure, you keep finding (some) men who are telling you that THEY are still in pain and not ready to throw themselves back out there. Maybe, perhaps, there's a connection there.... maybe, perhaps, you "understand" them so well, and are so "patient" because you're kinda sorta in the same place? Who knows.

Reflection is a bitch.


acaligurl said...

if you want ss to get in touch. you have to hope more not less!! you can't hope too much for a good thing.

Loverville said...

Sounds like you're in a good place re: the FAF.

As far as Eager Beaver... as I always say, you never fricking know! I went on this date last night wondering why I was going out with this guy... and I found that I really enjoyed his company.